I was going to talk about the inaguration, but honestly, if you haven’t heard enough about it by now then there is seriously something wrong with you. It was cool. Go Obama, good luck. Now don’t fuck it up.

In other news; people need to STOP asking for me to repost shit in my comment section. I understand if you want something I already posted but since removed but I can’t put it back up just because you want it. If I did that for you I’d be doing it for everyone else and that kind of defeats the purpose of taking the links down after X amount of time (which is usually a month, much longer than other MP3 blogs).

Nothing is free people, so if you really want something I took down you have to offer me something in return. That weeds out the mooches. You also have to email me instead of posting in my comments, that weeds out..well, that just makes me happy because requests in my comment section annoys the fuck out of me.

If you can’t do that then I’m afraid all you can do is wait until April, when I allow reposts requests since that’s the anniversary of the blog. Or you could just do what my new favorite anonymous commenter in the world said go to Jerry’s and buy the damn thing yourself.

OMD
Drowning On The Seven Seas
Raving On The Seven Seas
Dancing On The Seven Seas (Remix 1)
Dancing On The Seven Seas (Remix 2)
I have seriously posted more remixes of “Sailing On The Seven Seas” then I ever thought I would – they just keep coming! And they all have different names! Apparently there are a lot of things to do on the seven seas that can be turned into remix titles; raving, dancing, drowning, singing…um…crying…drinking…pooping (okay, I made a few of those up). These remixes are from a white label promo single, which included the following note:

“This 12” contains the new remixes of OMD’s “Sailing On The Seven Seas”. All the members of the Wonederful Dean Ferguson’s high energy panel, along with selected members of the Billboard panel, received this test pressing. I hope you like it. I hope you chart it.

-Rick Squillante

Two things come to mind when reading that message, one; this is one rare son-of-a-bitch and two; who the hell is Rick Squillante?

Well, according to Wikipedia, Rick Squillante was a dance DJ who was big into “the scene” in Dallas during the early 90s, which I believe is code for “was into raves and drugs.” He was pretty influential as a DJ and eventually became a mid-level muckity-muck at a couple record labels for a while, but those gigs didn’t stick so he killed himself.

Now that you’re all sufficently down, enjoy those upbeat synthpop dance remixes.

Ian Dury & The Blockheads
Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick (Paul Hardcastle Remix)
Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll (Paul Hardcastle Remix)
Reasons To Be Cheerful (Paul Hardcastle Remix)
Wake Up (And Make Love To Me) (Paul Hardcastle Remix)
These remixes are by Paul Hardcastle, who had a minor hit in America (and a major hit everywhere else) with the Post-Vietnam protest song “19.” I Love me some Hardcastle and I motherfucking looooove me some Dury, but sometimes two tastes don’t go great together and while these remixes are fun and worth downloading, none of them are as good as the original versions. These remixes are from a special 12” remix single.

Kraftwerk
The Robots
Robots originally appeared on The Man-Machine, but this version is from an Ultimix single, which were (are?) special singles made for DJs to spin at clubs. They usually have special remixes that aren’t available anywhere else, and I believe that is the case with this crazy odd remix. What makes it so odd? First of all it’s over nine minutes long, and it has a breakdown with a rap about time travel. So yeah, that’s different.

Woo! Go Pittsburgh!

Okay, since a large portion of my audience is either European, Gay or both that will be the extent of my pre-Super Bowl celebrations.

(Fuck the Ravens)

Okay, now I’m done. Needless to say I am in a very happy place right now and what’s more happy than 80s pop music? Well, probably Exctasy, but it’s really hard to upload pills. I was actually already planning on posting a shitload of 80s music this week, but now I have the pretense of an excuse to do so. I have more 80s stuff coming this week, but I’m blowing my load right now with the most pop-friendly, Top 40, stupid bullshit from my recently acquired 80s 12” singles.

Phil Collins
In The Air Tonight (Extended Version)
In The Air Tonight (88′ Remix)
This song is big in the NFL and I have to ask, why? Who the hell gets pumped up by Phil Collins? This is a song about the slow and painful dissolution of a marriage at the emotional heartbreak it causes. Who hears that and thinks, “man, I’m ready for some football!” The Browns play this song before almost all their games, and I’m convinced that has more to do with their shitty record than any of their shitty head coaches (exception: Butch Davis). These remixes came from a 12” single.

Unrelated note: When will someone sample this song for what would have to be the best drum ‘n’ bass song of all time?

Falco
Rock Me Amadeus (Ihn Liebten Alle Frauen)
If you’ve ever wanted more “Rock me Amadeus” then hang on tight, this mix might make you wet your pants. This 12” remix is over seven minutes long. That’s seven minutes of half-English/half-German insanity. With the posting of this track my blog has become so 80s it might start to wear sweatbands and watch Thirtysomething. This is from an import 12”.

Pat Benatar
Invincible (Extended Remix)
Raise your hand if you liked The Legend Of Billie Jean. Okay, everyone who did get the fuck off my blog. Okay, just kidding (barely) but damn that’s a bad movie. For those who haven’t seen it let me recap the film’s “plot.” Hot chick’s little brother gets his scooter trashed by rich douche bags. Hot chick tries to get them to pay for the damages and someone gets shot(!!??). Hot chick, stupid brother and Lisa Simpson go on the run and become urban heroes for disenfranchised youth. Hot chick cuts hair, becomes blonde Joan Jett and everyone lives happily ever after.

I might have left some stuff out, but I think that about nails it. The best part about the movie (aside from Helen Slater in skintight clothes) is this Pat Benatar song. “Invincible” is Benatar at her most 80s, complete with gratuitous synths and lyrics built for gym workout mix tapes right between the theme from Karate Kid and “Eye Of The Tiger.” This extended mix is from a 12” single.

Madonna
Papa Don’t Preach (Extended Remix)
I’m fairly certain that this extended remix just adds an extra 30 seconds or so of those opening strings, and some echo-effect laden “daddy”s during the bridge, but whatever.

Elvis Costello & The Attractions
The Only Flame In Town (Version Discotheque)
Pump It Up (Dance Mix)
Elvis Costello sang a duet with Daryl Hall and that duet was called “The Only Flame In Town.” Not surprisingly it hasn’t aged very well, like most of the other songs off of the meh Goodbye Cruel World. I’m not exactly sure what makes this version “discotheque” but it’s a remix and rare, so that’s enough for me to put it on here. On the other hand/side, “Pump It Up” may by the second-best song ever recorded, and while this dance mix may be entirely unnecessary and pointless, it’s still totally awesome. Both of these are from a 12” single and as far as I know theare only available commercially on one of the massive Elvis Costello singles box sets that came out about four years ago.

I’m boycotting weather. Who’s with me?

Ed Rush & Optical Present Wormhole
I hype Jerry’s Records a lot, but I’m going to say it once more, if you are looking for some obscure grooves, hardcore house and woofer-throbbing DnB then you owe it to yourself to make the trek. Right now Jerry has hundreds, if not thousands of electronic 12” singles and promos just laying around, so much that he doesn’t even know what to do with them. There has to be some gems hidden in there, this collection being a prime example. Wormhole is a seminal peice of late-90s DnB, a near-perfect collection of pure electronica that combines killer beats with menacing, almost etheral melodies in a way that few others can. While the album is credited to Ed Rush & Optical, Fortran also contributes to the set. I only have the vinyl version, which was shorter than the CD version (but still clocked in at a massive 5-LPs). Thsi sucker is sadly out of print and can go for muco buckos on eBay, so it’s kind of vanished over time. If you like DnB though you need to check it out right now.

Garbage
Stupid Girl (Tee’s Freeze Club)
Stupid Girl (Tee’s In-House Dub)
Stupid Girl (Future Retro Mix)
Stupid Girl (Danny Saber Mix)
Stupid Girl (Shoegazer Mix)
Shirley Manson is on that Terminator show now right? She can totally cause the robot apocalypse at my house anytime. I know that didn’t make any sense but I don’t care.

Two posts in two days! It’s just like old time (old times being three months ago). I’m dreading an upcoming visit from my father and I’m drowning myself in 80s pop music in order to distract myself, which is a great bonus for all you bastards. Hopefully I’ll have at least one more post this week, but I’ve learned not to promise anything about my posting schedule, because the second I do it all goes to shit. I can promise though that the next post (whenver that will be) will include more awesome 80s/e synth awesomeness…possibly in the form of Depeche Mode.

OMD
Brides Of Frankenstein (Mix)
Brides Of Frankenstein (Dub)
Call My Name (12” Version)
Sugar Tax
Pandora’s Box (Diesel Fingers Mix)
Pandora’s Box (Abstract Mix)
Pandora’s Box (Constant Pressue 12” Mix)
Pandora’s Box (Prize Of Beauty Mix)
Holy crap on a stick that’s a lot of OMD. Here’s another example of how my crazy stupid brain works. I go to Wikipedia to check up on my OMD knowledge in preparation for this post. I get distracted and start reading up on their song “Enola Gay” which gets me interested in the actual Enola Gay as well as other 80s synthpop songs about nuclear annihilation so I end up spending 20 minutes reading about the dispute over America’s decision to drop the A-bomb while pulling up clips of “99 Luftballoons” on YouTube. I have problems. But enough about my demented brain, you probably want to know where the hell all these songs came from, well the “Brides Of Frankenstein” mixes are from that song’s 12” promo single; “Call My Name” is from its 12” single, the b-side of which was the same mix of “Brides Of Frankenstein” that was on the promo single, so there’s no need in me posting it; and the “Pandora’s Box” remixes and “Sugar Tax” all come from the American 12” promo single for “Pandora’s Box” which in America was subtitled “Long Long Way.” The song “Sugar Tax” is not on the album Sugar Tax, which is annoying. On a side note, the Sugar Tax was a real thing, it helped lead to the American Revolutionary War, and it was probably a real bitch for 18th century diabetics.

One added note, “Brides Of Frankenstein” (which is actually a megamix) has the best beat ever.

Erasure
Am I Right? (Dave Bascombe Remix)
Carry On Clangers (Full Length)
Let It Flow
Waiting For Sex (Full Length)
Snappy (12” Remix)
Snappy (The Spice Has Risen Mix)
These are the last of the Erasure remixes. I’m sure I’ve said that before but this time I mean it, really, honestly…at least until I buy more Erasure 12” singles.

My best of 2008 list is out. Mine is obviously more credible than lists put out by Spin, Rolling Stone, NME, Q, or Pitchfork.

However, I forgot to add some honorable mentions (links go to my reviews):

Squarepusher: Just A Souvenir – Acid jazz on..well..acid as the DnB god shows that he can fucking ROCK a bass. Download The Glass Road now.

The Fireman: Electric Arguments – So Paul McCartney and Youth from Killing Youth walk into a recording studio…It sounds like the set-up to a weird joke, but it the truth is that these two have been working together since the early 90s, and while their latest effort is more mainstream in nature than their earlier works, it’s still a shocking blast of left-field creations from a man who helped invent the modern pop song.

Toadies: No Deliverance – Texans can still rock out.

NIN: Both Ghosts and The Slip – One was dirt cheap and instrumental, the other was free and angsty. Both rocked.

Motorhead: Motorizer – The day Motorhead stops recording awesome albums is the day I die a little inside.

Ludo: You’re Awful, I Love You – Proof that emo/pop-punk can be smart and well-written (I know, I was shocked too!)

Coldplay: Viva la Vida – I really wanted to hate this record but I couldn’t do it. Brian Eno has saved Coldplay from the adult-comtemporary hell that was XY.

Amanda Palmer: Who Killed Amanda Palmer? – The crazy chick from The Dresden Dolls lets her inner-rocker shine on this solo release (which is odd considering The Dresden Dolls are pretty much a solo project as well, but whatever).

Stabbing Westward
Shame (On You Mix)
Shame (It Up Mix)
Shame (Powdered Cat Mix)
Slipping Away (Suicide Mix)
I think Stabbing Westward was the first band I ever liked ironically. I remember hearing “Shame” as a teen and thinking that this band was so dark and depressing that it was actually kind of funny. Nothing screams way-too-over-the-top self-loathing like the line “I only see myself as a reflection in your eyes.” Even though they were silly and an obvious attempt to cash in on the post-NIN industrial craze, I liked Stabbing Westard, especially “Shame” and these three remixes of that song (plus “Slipping Away”) are all great. I got these off of a weird promo 12” called The Remixes.

Ministry
Stigmata (Remix)
Tonight We Murder
The cover to this 12” single is damn scary, although not as scary as the cover to The Land Of Rape And Honey, since that’s a mutilated head of a dead body. Al needs a hug. The uplifting “Tonight We Murder” was also on the soundtrack to Tales From The Crypt: Demon Knight, a great example of a shitty horror movie with an awesome metal soundtrack.

Lords Of Acid
I Sit On Acid (Straight Up Mix)
I Sit On Acid (Just The Basics)
I Sit On Acid (Mixin’ Up The Acid)
I Sit On Acid (The Hard Seven)
What the hell happened to these guys? They completely vanished about six years ago; they’re website hasn’t been updated since 2002! What the world needs now is more perverted techno doing it dirty. This is the best song ever about face-sitting. And if you argue that with me then you obviously have far more interest in the topic than a well-adjusted person should. These remixes are from a 12” single.

I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas/Hanukkah/Ramadan (is that over yet?)/Kwanzaa/Festivus/Saturnalia/Boxing Day. I was in Colorado over the holiday and had much fun with my Mom and my slightly insane step-family. Christmas with a 6-year-old is fucking exhausting.

Whilst in the lovely land of little oxygen and excessive Christian pricks that is Colorado Springs, I did get a chance to check out a couple bitchin’ record stores. One was The Leech Pit, an awesome record/vintage clothing store that I have mentioned in the past. If you are ever in the Colorado Springs area I highly suggest checking them out, as they will serve as a much needed respite from all the Jesus freaks that populate the area.

The other was Independent Records, a local chain store that has a great selection of everything from vinyl records, CDs, DVDs and video games both used and new. There are several of them in the area, but I went to the biggest one that had the best vinyl collection. I’ll be posting some stuff that I picked up there in a few weeks, I bought so much vinyl that my mom had to ship it back since it wouldn’t fit in my luggage.

Wildchild
Renegade Master (Fatboy Slim Old Skool Edit)
Renegade Master (Original Mix)
Renegade Master (Fatboy Slim Old Skool Mix)
Renegade Master (Fatboy Slim New Skool Mix)
Renegade Master (Tall Paul Mix)
Renegade Master (Urban Takeover Mix)
Argh. These tracks were SUPPOSED to be the highlight of my mega-awesome pre-Christmas house post, but I forgot to upload them. Which makes it much harder for you all to download them. This was doubly annoying since it was the song that inspired by decision to create an “all-house” post since it’s probably one of the greatest club tracks of all time, made even better by Fatboy Slim’s nigh-perfect remixes. If you call yourself a dance music fan and you don’t have these tracks on your computer then you’re fucking up. The first four versions were taken from a
CD single, while the final two were ripped from a 12” single. They are all must haves. Download them and cherish them.

Clan Of Xymox
Phoenix Of My Heart/Wild Thing Outro (Spicy Mix)
Phoenix Of My Heart/Wild Thing Outro (Mental Spicy Mix)
Phoenix Of My Heart/Wild Thing Outro
Love The Neighbor
Can anyone tell me what a Xymox is? Anyone at all? At the very least can you tell me how to pronounce it? I’d be most grateful. Anyways, I don’t have much to say about these guys other than that these songs were from a 12” single and that, like the band’s name, they confuse me greatly.

Regular visitors to my blog will know that I try to plan a huge post around Christmas both as a special gift to you all and as an excuse for me to take the week off posting when I’m out being all family-friendly with my family (strange concept I know). Two years ago I put up a shitload of White Stripes B-sides, last year it was old-school rap, this year I’m wishing all of you a very Big Beat Christmas with some killer house and techno cuts, along with some industrial thrown in for good measure (and the rest of The Leather Nun tracks just because).

Right now I am in the Charlotte Airpot sitting across from a very angry bilingual chick in army fatigues and a spineless father with a little brat four-year-old who deserves to be thrown into a jet turbine. I love holiday travel.

Enjoy your chosen winter solstice celebration and I’ll see you all in a week or so.

The Creator
The Creator (The 12” Creation)
The Creator (The 7” Creation)
The Creator (The Dub Creation)
The Creator (The Intro Creation)
This is a house track that features an overly enthusiastic black minister spouting the joys of house music. Back in the late 90s I heard about five thousand tracks that followed this formula. Who did it first, and more importantly, who is the dude that has to be on half of these tracks? This is a better example of this kind of house music, with the standard scary hardcore house sound mixing well with the crazy minister guy. These are all from a 12” single.

Nitzer Ebb
Control I’m Here (Hardcore Mix)
Control I’m Here (Command Control Confront Mix)
Control I’m Here (Strategic Dancefloor Initiative Mix)
K.I.A.
Nitzer Ebb is a band I can only listen to in small doses, either because they get on my nerves far too quick or because they’re music gets me so angry and pumped up that I want to punch someone in the head. And since I am currently in a crowded airport that would be especially bad. All of these tracks are from the 12” single to “Control In Here” and while a couple of these tracks have been made available on compilations, those too are also hard to find so I’m including them all here.

Alan Barratt
The Warriors
The Burial
These two tracks are off of a 12” called “Zulu Nation 5.” The cover of the album has a pair of bongo drums on it with some generic African art. Above that someone wrote in black marker “Tribal House” – gee, ya think? I have no clue who Alan Barratt is/was, but these are two good, if slightly droning, house tracks by him.

The Leather Nun
Cool Shoes
I Wish
Special Agent
On The Road
Son Of A Good Family
Desolation Ave
I would say that I’m never going to post another track by The Leather Nun again, but since I’m not counting out any other bizarre Abba covers by them I think that would be a bit hasty. These are from assorted 12” singles.

Ho Ho Ho.

I am once again going to apologize for the lack of updates as of late. Last time I blamed my job, this time I’m blaming the holidays (and Comcast for going down last night just when I was getting ready to hit “publish”). When I apologize next week I’ll blame the moon.

The Leather Nun
I Can Smell Your Thoughts (Remix)
Falling Apart
506 (Re-Visited)
I am seriously running out of things to say about this Swedish punk/goth rock band, which is quite unfortunate considering I still have at least two more posts worth of songs by them. These tracks are from the 12” single to “I Can Smell Your Thoughts” (little known fact, my thoughts smell like bacon).

Jane’s Addiction
So What! (Voodoo Funk)
So What! (Jane’s House)
So What! (Downbeat Addiction)
I have even less to say about Jane’s Addiction. Um…let me think for a second…nope I got nothing. Hey, you hear about those shitheads who are pissed that a bakery wouldn’t make a cake with their kid’s name on it since they named their kid Adolf Hitler? What a couple of fucking pieces of shit. The worthless prick of a dad says he’s non-violent, which is so fucking stupid it makes my brain hurt in ways that I didn’t know possible. Well, he may be non-violent, but I’m not, so if I ever see that fucker I’m going to make sure he can’t contribute to the gene pool anymore than he already has. What a fucking shit.

The Verve
Lord I Guess I’ll Never Know
Country Song
Bitter Sweet Symphony (Extended Version)
So Sister
Echo Bass
Here I am breaking my rules again. These tracks were not taken from vinyl, but were instead lifted from two separate CD singles. I thought I’d post them anyways since I’m feeling oh so very British after seeing Oasis this past weekend. Good show, but Ryan Adams is one of the worst acts I’ve ever seen.