Woo! Go Pittsburgh!

Okay, since a large portion of my audience is either European, Gay or both that will be the extent of my pre-Super Bowl celebrations.

(Fuck the Ravens)

Okay, now I’m done. Needless to say I am in a very happy place right now and what’s more happy than 80s pop music? Well, probably Exctasy, but it’s really hard to upload pills. I was actually already planning on posting a shitload of 80s music this week, but now I have the pretense of an excuse to do so. I have more 80s stuff coming this week, but I’m blowing my load right now with the most pop-friendly, Top 40, stupid bullshit from my recently acquired 80s 12” singles.

Phil Collins
In The Air Tonight (Extended Version)
In The Air Tonight (88′ Remix)
This song is big in the NFL and I have to ask, why? Who the hell gets pumped up by Phil Collins? This is a song about the slow and painful dissolution of a marriage at the emotional heartbreak it causes. Who hears that and thinks, “man, I’m ready for some football!” The Browns play this song before almost all their games, and I’m convinced that has more to do with their shitty record than any of their shitty head coaches (exception: Butch Davis). These remixes came from a 12” single.

Unrelated note: When will someone sample this song for what would have to be the best drum ‘n’ bass song of all time?

Falco
Rock Me Amadeus (Ihn Liebten Alle Frauen)
If you’ve ever wanted more “Rock me Amadeus” then hang on tight, this mix might make you wet your pants. This 12” remix is over seven minutes long. That’s seven minutes of half-English/half-German insanity. With the posting of this track my blog has become so 80s it might start to wear sweatbands and watch Thirtysomething. This is from an import 12”.

Pat Benatar
Invincible (Extended Remix)
Raise your hand if you liked The Legend Of Billie Jean. Okay, everyone who did get the fuck off my blog. Okay, just kidding (barely) but damn that’s a bad movie. For those who haven’t seen it let me recap the film’s “plot.” Hot chick’s little brother gets his scooter trashed by rich douche bags. Hot chick tries to get them to pay for the damages and someone gets shot(!!??). Hot chick, stupid brother and Lisa Simpson go on the run and become urban heroes for disenfranchised youth. Hot chick cuts hair, becomes blonde Joan Jett and everyone lives happily ever after.

I might have left some stuff out, but I think that about nails it. The best part about the movie (aside from Helen Slater in skintight clothes) is this Pat Benatar song. “Invincible” is Benatar at her most 80s, complete with gratuitous synths and lyrics built for gym workout mix tapes right between the theme from Karate Kid and “Eye Of The Tiger.” This extended mix is from a 12” single.

Madonna
Papa Don’t Preach (Extended Remix)
I’m fairly certain that this extended remix just adds an extra 30 seconds or so of those opening strings, and some echo-effect laden “daddy”s during the bridge, but whatever.

Elvis Costello & The Attractions
The Only Flame In Town (Version Discotheque)
Pump It Up (Dance Mix)
Elvis Costello sang a duet with Daryl Hall and that duet was called “The Only Flame In Town.” Not surprisingly it hasn’t aged very well, like most of the other songs off of the meh Goodbye Cruel World. I’m not exactly sure what makes this version “discotheque” but it’s a remix and rare, so that’s enough for me to put it on here. On the other hand/side, “Pump It Up” may by the second-best song ever recorded, and while this dance mix may be entirely unnecessary and pointless, it’s still totally awesome. Both of these are from a 12” single and as far as I know theare only available commercially on one of the massive Elvis Costello singles box sets that came out about four years ago.

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