Everything Is Wrong

March 11th, 2011

So, remember how I said I was just going to let my audio difficulties slide and embrace the minor flaws of vinyl?

Yeah, that was a lie.

Out of curiosity I took a couple problem records to a friends house to see if they would sound any better on her system, which is a piece of shit belt-driven turntable she bought at Target for 30 bucks. Guess what? They totally did. So then I dug out an old turntable of mine and hooked it up to my system. It sounds like shit in its own way, but the problem I was having was absent. Which only means one thing, my turntable is totally fucked up.

It’s a maddening problem. Not all records sound bad, just some. But the ones that do really sound bad. The worst case is a track called “Beautiful Lies” from a drum and bass artist named B-Complex. Here’s a zip file with a clip from versions of the track. The one labeled “shit” is taken from my turntable, while the one labeled “good” is from a CD. Listen and compare. Any idea as to what the hell is going on here? I’ve played the record on other turntables and it sounds fine! I’ve also replaced every cable in my setup, and even replaced/cleaned/adjusted my needle and tone arm to no avail. I’m at wit’s end. I’m taking the turntable into Jerry’s to hopefully get fixed tomorow, and I will be borrowing my old USB turntable that I gave to a friend until this issue is resolved. It doesn’t sound great, but it is more than serviceable.

Okay, so this is where I’m kind of insane. Since now I know some of my recordings sound fucked up because of my turntable, I no longer can stand any of them. so pretty much everything I recorded in  the past two months is now a complete waste that won’t be on this blog until I can try to re-record them on a decent system. This is a problem. I have a few things saved up, but not much. So if I can’t get this fixed soon, expect the blog to go into “Greatest Hits” mode for a while, putting up stuff from old posts. Oh well, another excuse for me to talk about Big Country’s “Wonderland.”

Ian McCulloch
Faith & Healing (The Carpenter’s Son Mix)
Toad
Fear Of the Known
These tracks sound good enough. I’m noticing some slight distortion on the first one, but nothing worth scrapping the whole post for. Sigh. I’m so pissed off right now…

Anyways, these are good tracks recorded by the lead singer of Echo & The Bunneymen during that brief period where they existed as a band but without Ian on vocals. I like “Toad” especially.

Now if you excuse me I’m going to go drown my A/V sorrows in alcohol-infused whipped cream.

Posted in Ian McCulloch, remixes | 7 Comments »

Hell of a Good DJ

March 9th, 2011

Thank you everyone who gave their input in regards to my audio quality issues. After reading through all your input and doing some additional research on my own I’ve determined that the main issue is that the records I buy are usually used, and used greatly at that. I guess it comes with the territory. Still, if anyone has any specific advice on how to deal with that “lispy’ sound issue I’d be much obliged.

I also noticed that many people were making assumptions about the gear/set-up I run. So I thought I would just explain that right now to get it out of the way.

My turntable is a Stanton STR8-80, which I got used for about 80 bucks – a steal. It’s s straight-arm model, and I know that those aren’t the best for audio quality, but it’s always been a delicate balance for me when it comes to finding a turntable that can play at high quality and one that can play stratched, fucked up records. I know that straight-arm turntables can usually play more busted-up records, so that’s why I went with it over a curved-arm model.

The STR8-80 has a standard RCA cable attached to it, which I run to a pre-amp that cuts down/eliminates annoying R/F interference. Then I run the cable out of that to my computer via a RCA-to-line-in cable. Right now its hooked up to the computer’s onboard soundcard. While that’s not perfect, its not half bad either, and seems to be doing the job right now. I did a comparison between the onboard audio and my external Soundblaster and didn’t notice any difference, so I’m not going to bother with an external soundcard for now.

I use Creative’s cheapo recorder for recording the audio, and then I use Sony’s Sound Forge to touch it up and cut the raw WAV files into individual MP3s. I almost never use any automated “vinyl recording” features that touch up audio files. Sure, they can be great at removing pops and clicks, but they also remove high hats, finger snaps and any other similar sound. I do it all manually. I’m crazy like that.

Then I use MP3tag to tag the files. I used to use iTunes for this, but I was finding out that iTunes was leaving some fields black in the actual tags, and whenever I had to re-install iTunes I was losing information, which was incredibly annoying.

Nearly everything I use has been replaced at least once, and the “lispy” audio and slightly of-kilter audio balance have always followed to some extent, so until I get a really super high end turntable (i.e. A Technics SL-1200mk2) I’m now officially no longer caring about my audio quality unless there’s something free and easy that I can do to make it sound better. So, please don’t send me feedback telling me how I’m fucking everything up unless you have a no-cost, preferably software solution. I’ll give an automatic process a chance if it can fix this problem.

Or if my audio quality really bothers you then just send me a Technics SL-1200MK2 turntable for free. Hey, they’re only 600 bucks! Buy me two!

Beastie Boys
Intergalactic (Professors of Technology Remix)
Intergalactic (Fuzzy Logic Remix)
“Intergalatic” was the track I used to test my tonearm weight. The line “when I wrote graffiti my name was slop!” line was a good test of that “lispy” sound. The original version of the track had that problem pretty bad, but these remixes are fairly clean. Regardless of audio quality, they’re all funky as shit.

Hell
Follow You (Dominik Eulberg Remix)
I love Hell, the dude, not the concept of eternal damnation. I usually can’t stand minimal techno either, so the fact that I think this dude is the best DJ on the planet really says something about how awesome he is. He’s the only person not playing at UMF this year who I wish was.

Oh yeah, by the way, I’m totally going to UMF (Ultra Music Festival) in Miami this month! If anyone wants to recommend any DJ/artist let me know! There are SO MANY playing that it’s kind of hard to keep track of them all.

Posted in Beastie Boys, Hell, remixes | 4 Comments »

Trapped in Audio Connection Hell, Send Help

March 3rd, 2011

Being an A/V geek can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.

I’ve been recording vinyl for about six years now. During that time I’ve gone through three computers and four turntables. Each change has brought me better fidelity and audio quality. But I’d never be one to claim I’m an expert at this shit. I make up most of it as I go, and pretty much do things my own bass-akwards way that involves three different computer programs and a lot of slow, monotonous, manual editing that can take forever. But I’m an anal retentive prick, so that kind of comes with the territory.

However, I recently have become completely fed up with two incredibly annoying audio problems that I cannot seem to fix, and would like any outside input.

The first is rather small, but annoying. My balance is always off. Not by a lot, just a few dB. It’s not really noticeable, I only can tell because I look at the soundwaves when I edit the tracks. It doesn’t matter what turntable I use or what needle I use, I always seem to have this problem. I’ve even tried an external soundcard and other audio cables. But to no avail. I’m assuming it MUST have something to do with my computer right? How the hell do I fix that?

The second problem is much more annoying. And the best way to talk about it is to use an example. Go to this post and download “LSI (Love Sex Intelligence) (Ed Richards 12″ Mix).” Skip to about three minutes in and listen to the loop of “LSI.” Notice how the “S” sounds generate some distortion, like everyone has a lisp or the audio levels are too high? What the hell is causing that? Now, this problem isn’t across all my records, and I mostly only notice it on older ones, so this might not even be my problem at all. Maybe I’m buying shitty records. I’m willing to accept that, most of the stuff I buy has been (not gently) used. But if anyone knows any way to minimize this problem I’d love to hear it. OH, and I’ve mucked with the tonearm’s counterweight countless times. That’s not it. That thing is perfect.

So, if anyone can help me solve these problems I’ll give them cookies. Or some music. Whatever.

The Shamen
Boss Drum (Justin Robertson Lion Rock Mix)
Boss Drum (Youth Transhamen Ritual Mix)
Boss Drum (Beatmasters Tribal Buzz Mix)
Phorever People (Beatmasters Heavenly Mix)
Phorever People (Tee’s Flying Dub)
Phorever People (Tommy D’s Swing Dub)
The final batch of Shamen tracks! Enjoy.

Bran Van 3000
Astounded (Eric Kupper Mix)
Astounded (Demon Mix)
Astounded (MJ Cole Mix)
This is some sexy shit. God damn. This track uses a previously unheard Curtis Mayfield track, and with great results. Be careful when listening to this one, it might cause uncontrollable sexiness. I still haven’t gotten off my ass and picked up either of Bran Van 3000’s last two albums. Any word out there? They any good? I love me some Discosis.  These are from a 12″ single.

Posted in Bran Van 3000, remixes, The Shamen | 10 Comments »

Never Rub Another Man’s Aphex Twin Song Title

February 28th, 2011

For the second year in a row I avoided the Oscars. The bullshit nature of award shows depresses me.

So what did I watch instead?

Dancer In the Dark.

Shit.

Seriously. SHIT. I had never seen that movie before. And while yes, it is beautiful and incredibly moving, it’s also probably the most depressing film I have ever seen.

I had to watch the “Dance Magic Dance” scene in Labyrinth three times just to foster enough positive vibes to get me out of my chair. I knew I didn’t see it when it came out for a reason. Yikes. I need to go look at some LOLcats or something before I go to bed. But until then, stupid dance music!

The Shamen
LSI (Love Sex Intelligence) (Ed Richards 12″ Mix)
LSI (Love Sex Intelligence) (Beatmasters 12″ Mix)
LSI (Love Sex Intelligence) (Shamen Alternative Vocal)
LSI (Love Sex Intelligence) (Frank De Wulf Dub Rave)
LSI (Love Sex Intelligence) (Shamen Deep Dub)
LSI (Love Sex Intelligence) (Well Hung Parliament Dub)
Spoiler! This song is about me.

ZING.

More by The Shamen, I know you’re all horribly surprised. I got one more of these in me, then I will have exhausted my entire supply of The Shamen. At least until I buy more.

Humate
Love Stimulation (Blank & Jones Remix)
Love Stimulation (Paul Van Dyk Love Club Mix)
I’m keeping it up. The love theme that is, with this excellent trance track. What this song has to do with love is a mystery, however, as it has no lyrics. It could have been called “Cheese Stimulation.”

Mmmm…cheese.

Oh, where was I? Oh yeah, these mixes are from a 12″ single. Now excuse me while I go eat some cheese.

Pop Will Eat Itself
Another Man’s Rhubarb (12″ Mix)
Another Man’s Rhubarb (7″ Mix)
Another Man’s Rhubarb (Chaotic Mix)
Leave it to PWEI to fuck my love-dovey/cheese theme all to hell. This song is…quite stupid, but in the best possible way. It starts with that very bizarre quote from the 1989 Batman movie, and then it segues into a whole “We Are the People” rant? Huh? What? Oh, Clint Mansell, you so crazy!

That’s right kids, don’t forget that Clint Mansell, Oscar-nominated film composer for films like Requiem For a Dream, The Wrestler and Moon, was the lead singer for Pop Will Eatself. That means that the man who brought us the classic theme from Requiem For A Dream also brought us “Beaver Patrol.”

Because, y’know, he’s classy.

Posted in Humate, Pop Will Eat Itself, remixes, The Shamen | 6 Comments »

Too Tired For a Title – The Sequel

February 24th, 2011

Big ups to my Melbourne connection for hooking me up with the elusive Dreamcast vinyl! Dude if you ever need someone whacked, or if you just need someone to get you something off of a high shelf let me know. This giant vinyl/video game nerd is forever in your debt.

If any of my other fans ever want to pay me back for all my years of providing free, bizarre music, I would like to remind you all that I do take checks.

Seriously though, feeling generous? Go click on that link on the right for Planned Parenthood. Donate a few bucks their way. You’d be making me happy, helping low-income families get birth control, and pissing off Republicans all at the same time. Seems like a triple-win to me.

Renegade Soundwave
Thunder II
Manphibian
Mash-Up
I said before I would post more RSW if I found some. And guess what? I did. These are from a 12″ for “Thunder.”

Unrelated note, “Manphibian” totally sounds like a Roger Corman movie that never happened. Maybe a sequel to “Sssssss” (and yes kids, that the name of a real movie). If anyone could tell me what “Manphibian” samples I would appreciate it. It sounds like the song that was used to become the Sex & The City theme, or am I just sleep deprived and half death?

The Shamen
Possible Worlds (Deep Psi)
Possible Worlds (Imaginary)
Possible Worlds (Stick)
Possible Worlds (Reverse)
My Shamen clearance sale continues! These are b-sides to “Make It Mine.” I have more Shamen coming still! Probably two more posts worth. I hope someone is digging this shit, I sure am.

L.L. Cool J
Rock The Bells (Original Version)
Bittersweet Symphony vs. Rock The Bells
And for some musical diversity, its time to rock the motherfucking bells.

The original version of this track is crazy. First of all, it has actual bells. Something that is lacking from the album cut. It’s also seven minutes long, is completely lacking anything resembling a chorus, and has the fidelity of a track that I might record in my closet with an 8-track recorder and a Fischer Price microphone. Although that might have more to do with the quality of the vinyl I ripped it from, which looked like it was taken through a pack of wolverines. I cleaned the hell out of this fucker (both digitally and literally) and I think it sounds pretty good now, I hope you all agree.

Also included as a bonus is the “Bittersweet Symphony/Rock the Bells” mashup mix from the excellent game DJ Hero. I don’t know why, but this mix pumps me up like nothing else. I think it’s the whole “L.L. Cool J. is hard as HELL” bit, which is stretched out a little bit in this mix. I used to have it on my jogging mix, but it pumped me up to such a dangerous degree that I had to remove it in fear of giving myself a heart attack. Same thing happened when I used to have “Red Cape Diver” by Foxy Shazam on my workout mix. Some songs are just too motivational! I should just stick to the classics.

Posted in B-sides, LL Cool J, remixes, Renegade Soundwave, The Shamen | 5 Comments »

Orbtastic? Is that taken?

February 21st, 2011

I need this record. I need this record. I need this record.

I NEED THIS RECORD.

For those of you who don’t click on random links without knowing what they are. I am referring to a special, limited edition Dreamcast white vinyl record with songs from various Dreamcast games. It’s pretty. And apparently very hard to find. It’s a pre-order bonus in parts of Europe and Australia for the upcoming Dreamcast Collection. If any of my European or Australian readers want to make a deal, send me an email please. Seriously. I will pay money for this. I want that record.

The Shamen
Make It Mine (Manhattan Mix)
Make It Mine (Moby’s Dub Mix)
Make It Mine (Deep Mix)
Make It Mine (Club Vocal)
Make It Mine (V 2.1 Make It Minimal)
Make It Mine (V 2.4 Micro Minimal)
Make It Mine (Pro-Gress I Vox)
Make It Mine (Pro-Gress I Instrumental)
Make It Mine (V 1.1 Lenny D )

I think he wants to make it his.

Okay, I’m going to be honest; I know jackshit about The Shamen. I touched on this last week. I was bored. It was a slow week at the record store, and someone must have recently sold their entire Shamen collection. I bought the records because I noticed some of the remix artists. Now I have three hours and twenty minutes of Shamen remixes on my hard drive. Thank God they’re mostly good! That would have been embarrassing otherwise.  These remixes are from two separate Make It Minesingles. I’ll have even more Shamen later in the week hopefully.

Orbital
Chime (Extended Version)
Chime Crime
Chime (Joey Bel Tram/Program 2 Mix)
Open Mind
Open Mind (Funky Alternatives Mix)
So there’s The Orb, mostly-forgotten late-90s rock band Orbit, William Orbit, and Orbital. Am I missing anyone in the vast variances of Orb-derivative band names? All these bands started around the same time too, you think they would have gotten together and worked out it out. Did any of them ever work together? Anyone have any Orb/ital mash-up? Maybe a mix of “Blue Room” and “Halcyon + On + On?“ That would be dope, and probably like 80 minutes long, but whatever, I’d listen to it.

Anyways, these tracks are from a 12″ promo single I picked up last week. If you’re wondering which track is the best, the answer is all of them.

Posted in B-sides, Orbital, remixes, The Shamen | 7 Comments »

The New Gawker Layout Sucks

February 17th, 2011

I have nothing to add to that headline up there. I just wanted to say that in big headline print.  What a fucking trainwrek. Anyone want to recommend good blogs that are similar to Jezebel, Lifehacker and Kotaku? I can barely visit those anymore. Too many stupid big pictures and horrible design elements crowding up everyhing.

How come more blogs can’t have amazing layout like mine?

That was sarcasm, by the way.

The Shamen
Destination Eschaton (Basement Boys 12″ Dub – Destination Chant)
Destination Eschaton (Basement Boys 12″ Vocal – Destination Discoton)
Destination Eschaton (Beatmasters 12″ Vocal – Destination Meccaton)
Destination Eschaton (Hardfloor 12″ Dub – Destination Komotion)
Destination Eschaton (Hardfloor 12″ Vocal – Destination Krefeldton)
Destination Eschaton (Shamen Acid – Escacid)
Destination Eschaton (Shamen Deep Melodic Techno Mix – Destination Islington)
Destination Eschaton (Sounds Of Life Vocal Mix)
Destination Eschaton (Vission Lorimer Acid Mix)
Destination Eschaton (Vission Lorimer Dome Mix)
My my, that is a lot of remixes of a song (71 minutes worth!) that I didn’t even know existed a week ago. My experience with The Shamen is pretty limited, but people whose opinions I respect dig them, so I should really check out their stuff more. I dig the hell out of some of these remixes, mostly the ones with the vocals, even though I have no idea what this song is actually about. I did some research though, and apparently “eschaton” means “the end of the present world.” So “Destination Eschaton” would be about the end of the world? Wow. That’s some deep shit for a house track. From the tone of the track though, I think they mean transcendance to something higher, instead of “the end,” kind of like the end of Defending Your Life perhaps? I try to tie everything in my life to Albert Brooks comedies.

More by The Shamen in my next post!

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Posted in remixes, The Shamen | 7 Comments »

This Post Blows

February 14th, 2011

Tonight’s post has a theme, see if you can guess what it is.

Renegade Soundwave
 Cocaine Sex
Kray Twins
“Cocaine Sex”  is unapologetically pro-cocaine in such a way that its damn near quaint. At one point it even goes as far as to recommend that you “buy it” and “try it.” Gotta love that reckless regard for social responsibility. If your knowledge of blow was limited entirely to that song then you’d probably want to go out and snort some snow right after listening to it. If you’re looking for an anti-drug counterargument to the rampant “Just Say Yes!” philosophy of “Cocaine Sex” then just listen to “Kray Twins.” Its the kind of pointless stupidity that would only sound good while high. Both these tracks are b-sides to Renegade Soundwave’s amazing “Biting My Nails.”

Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel
 White Lines (Don’t Do It) (Freestryle Remix Edit)
Bonus Lines
Supposedly Melle Mel had a pile of blow under his mic while recording this track, and did hits between takes. Now THAT is a cognitive disconnect. But hey, cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Duran Duran
White Lines (Sound Factory Dub)
White Lines (Sound Factory Dub 2)
White Lines (Global Groove Mix)
White Lines (Freestyle Mix)
White Lines (Rif Raf Mix)
I already posted these remixes a couple years ago or so. But what can I say…


Posted in Duran Duran, Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel, remixes, Renegade Soundwave | 11 Comments »

How I Spend my Friday Nights

February 12th, 2011

Hey look, it’s music on a Friday night/Saturday morning!

Blue Pearl
Alive (Goa Mix)
Alive (Radio Mix)
Alive (Organapella Mix)
Down To You (Massey Mix)
Last year much hoopla was made of Metallic Spheres, the new album by The Orb that featured Youth from Killing Joke and David Gilmour. The funny thing was that both of those guys already worked together at least once before.

Blue Pearl was a collaboration between Youth and female singer Durga McBroom, who worked as a backup singer for Pink Floyd in the 1980s. I guess she had a fan in David Gilmour, who contributed some guitar work to Blue Pearl’s only album, 1990’s Naked. According to Wikipedia Richard Wright from Pink Floyd also contributed on the album, but I don’t know if his work is on any of these tracks.

As for the songs themselves, they are very 80s house sounding, and pretty dated. Still, McBroom has a crazy amazing voice and the tracks are an excellent example of that kind of music.

Youssou N’Dour
Undecided (Deep 12” Dance Mix)
Undecided (12” Dance Instrumental)
Undecided (Deep Radio Mix)
I know nothing about Youssou N’Dour. Sorry. I bought this 12″ single on a whim and dug it for its Deep Forest-ness. Enjoy.

Soft Cell
Numbers (Extended Version)
Barriers
Now this is an artist I know about. I thought that by now damn near every obscure 80s track had been re-released on CD or digitally, but I guess I was mistaken. These versions of Numbers and Barrriers are not in print in any digital format (although the extended version of Numbers was on one re-issue of a Soft Cell album at one point, I can’t find that one anymore.)

Now look, I love me some Soft Cell. Tainted Love? Easily one of the top three songs of the decade. Sex Dwarf? Easily the best named-song of the decade. But these tracks? Well…I’m sure if you’re a devoted Soft Cell fanatic you’ll be very happy to find them here. Um, enjoy.

Posted in Blue Pearl, David Gilmour, Soft Cell, Youssou N'Dour | 10 Comments »

Super Bowled Over

February 8th, 2011

So the dome of protection that protected Pittsburgh from the blizzard was apparently part of some black magic pact that cost the city the Super Bowl. Oh well, at least we don’t have to endure headlines about how Ben Roethlisberger somehow “redeemed’ himself because he won a fucking football game.

But lets not talk about that (alleged) criminal. Instead lets talk about some actual criminals. The Black Eyed Peas.

The halftime show.

Holy.

Shit.

Wow. I mean, I knew the Black Eyed Peas sucked. I’ve written extensively about that very subject. Their shittiness is nothing new to me. But even I was surprised as to just how hideous they were. How does that even happen? Didn’t anyone at the NFL know? Shit. Maybe they should start holding auditions for bands before they take the stage and aurally assault America. Anyone notice how even with the autotune they sounded like a shit sandwhich? That’s because in order for the robo-voice effect to work right you have to be able to hold a note. Sure, when Will.I.Am is in the studio, he can shit out horrible take after horrible take of the opening line to “The Time (Dirty Bit),” because he just needs to deliver one average vocal performance. But when he has to puke out some vocals live he can’t even fulfill the bare minimum vocal requirements in order to make an autotuned performance sound good. Of course, if he just would have rapped without any bullshit vocal modification he would have sounded fine. But no, motherfucker wants to sound like a robot.

As for Fergie. Ugh. I almost kind of sort of defended her the last time I went off on an anti-Black Eyed Peas rant. That was a mistake. There’s no defending her now.

Most people know about how autotune can make people sound like robots, but what some people might not know is that autotune’s primary purpose is to not be noticed, and to fix poor vocal performances in the studio. And what I took away from Fergie trying to sing live is that, well, she can’t. She is a product of studio manipulation. Sure, she can rap/sing-talk fine, but you ask her to hold a note or carry a tune and her true, talentless colors come through bright and clear. Yikes. Well, at least she didn’t piss herself on stage this time. So she has that going for her, which is nice.

Oh, and Slash? Fuck you and your shiny top hat.

Sigh. Remember when Prince did the halftime show? That was awesome. Prince should just do all the halftime shows from now until the day he dies. And then we should just get replays of those.

Gary Numan
My World Storm (12” Mix)
My World Storm (Instrumental)
Could you imagine a Gary Numan halftime show? It would be amazing! He could come out in a little go-cart and rock out some of “Cars” before going into “Are ‘Friends’ Electric?” “Me! I disconnect from you” and close with a bitchin’ version of “Metal.” Sure, only eight people in the world would want to see that, but shit, we’d be stoked! These tracks are from a 12″.

Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
Don’t Surrender (Extended Mix)
Don’t Surrender (The Most Excellent Mix)
Joan Jett’s halftime show would include her in a camouflage bikini top and leather pants. Then she’d beat the shit out of the entire defensive lines of both football teams.

John Foxx
Enter The Angel (Extended Mix)
Stairway
Foxx’s halftime show would…shit…I got nothing. It’s 2am. I should go to bed.

Tags:
Posted in B-sides, Gary Numan, Joan Jett, John Foxx, remixes | 12 Comments »

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