Archive for the ‘Complete Albums’ Category

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Return of Trip The Moog Fantastic

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

Past few posts have been nothing but 80s/90s gold. Well, now for something COMPLETELY different. This is the kind of shit I listen to when I really want to forget about the real world.

Marty Gold
Moog Plays The Beatles
Okay, before I get to the wackiness involved with this I have to make a confession. I stole these MP3s.

Well, not really. I do own this album. But when I recorded it way back when it was on my shitty turntable that spun too fast. I didn’t want to post those versions, but I also didn’t want to dig the LP out of my massive stacks of unorganized records and re-record it either. Luckily an awesome blog called 36 15 Moog posted it and the author of that blog kindly gave me permission to steal from him. I recommend everyone check out that AMAZING blog if you want even more Moogy madness. His recording equipment is amazing because this copy sounds crystal fucking clear. Dude gets props in my book. I just added that blog (and other outstanding blogs by the same guy) to my blogroll. Check them out.

Now, with that out of the way we can discuss this amazingly stupid record. It’s an early entry in the Moog craze, coming out in 1969, just a year after Wendy Carlos’ amazing Switched On Bach started the craze, and it’s particularly sly in combining the Moog mania with the tail end of Beatlemania. As Moog novelty records go it’s fairly good if not at all experimental or adventurous. I have worse Moog records for sure though, it’s hard to make “Eleanor Rigby” unlistenable after all.

The Electronic Concept Orchestra
Moog Groove
I know very little about this “group.” I use quotes because I’m pretty damn certain it was most likely just a couple dudes with a Moog, a drumkit and a dream. The back cover of the record (which you can read here) is one of many Moog album linear notes to go off on the “new sounds” that the Moog could create. That seemed to be a fascination with the Moog when it first came out. Everyone wanted to hear a “new sound.” I suppose that makes sense, and you could probably mirror that fascination with the auto-tune/robovoice of today. That being said, Moog Groove isn’t really packed with “new sounds” as much as it is packed with old sounds done in a slightly new way. I can’t imagine anyone from 1969 buying this record and upon first listen proclaiming “My god! I’ve never heard a sound like this before! My ears, they are awoken from a slumber that I didn’t even know they were in!”

The selection is a little weak as well. Like every single fucking Moog album ever made it includes a version of “Aquarius” from Hair, as well as its own fair share of Beatles covers. The take on “Grazing In The Grass” is pretty fun though. It’s also fun to compare the two version of Penny Lane and Hey Jude on both of these albums to see how different artists used the Moog. While Marty Gold used a simple guitar-like sound for the melody of “Penny Lane” The ECO went for a faux-vocal approach, which fits the song much better in my opinion. Both are stupid fun regardless. Enjoy and I’ll probably have some more “normal” music up later this week. In the mean time if you want to hear some amazing Moog-based music check out this post. If you want to hear some hysterically odd Moog tunes go here. You should check out this other post if you want to here some pre-Moog electronica. And click at your own risk here if you’re retarded and horny for even more Moog.

Posted in Complete Albums, Moog | 1 Comment »

OMGSNOWTF

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

Snow everywhere!

I’m drunk!

What? It beats shoveling. Don’t judge me. Besides, I’m not having a good day. Two of my fishies died. I am drinking vodka in their memory. It’s like tapping a 50 but worse for you.

Brian May
Star Fleet
Let Me Out
Blues Breaker
Yes, this is what I do when I am inebriated and mildly depressed, I record, and share, sub-par out-of-print albums by acclaimed guitarists of 70s rock bands. You probably go bars and get laid don’t you? Pfft. Puny humans. I am above such petty things as late-night bar hookups. This album is actually credited to “Brian May and friends.” Who are the friends you ask? Well, the drummer is the drummer is Alan Gratzer of REO Speedwagon, the bassist is Steve Chen, who did session work and the second guitarist is a Eddie Van Halen. Yeah, that’s right. Eddie Van Halen did an album with Brian May. An album that has a title track about a Japanese TV show.

This record is pretty stupid and not altogether very good. Although if you like blues jamming (Hi mom!) then you’ll probably like the second two tracks, and if you like 80s retardation then you’ll probably like the first one. You know what? Now that I’ve had half a bottle of vodka I have to revise my original opinion. This album is sexcellent. That’s right, I said sexcellent. It was a typo at first, but I’m sticking with that spelling.

I have nothing else to say about this album. Actually, I probably do, but typing is getting increasingly more difficult by the minute. Vodka is my friend but he doesn’t want me to type anymore. My fingers are all goofy feeling.

Enjoy.

Posted in Brian May, Complete Albums, vodka | 1 Comment »

Let Your Prog Flag Fly

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

I’ve been having a less-than-stellar few weeks, but thankfully I found an album so amazingly bizarre that I think it could actually be sold as a cure for depression…well, if it came with a bottle Prozac and some vodka. Good triple play if you ask me.

Fireballet
Les Cathedrales
Centurion (Tales of Fireball Kids)
The Fireballet
Atmospheres
Night on Bald Mountain
I have a odd relationship with prog rock. I worship Pink Floyd, but I really don’t consider them “prog” as much as they are psychedelic. On the flip side, I used to think Rush was the worst band in the history of the universe, but someone forced me to listen to 2112 and I came around (but I still hate Geddy Lee’s voice). More recently I’ve become interested in King Crimson and have discovered some pretty amazing obscure 70s prog bands like Magma and FM. And even in the prog I don’t like (such as Jethro Tull) I recognize the talent behind the music and can usually appreciate it on that level (notable exception: Traffic – I fucking hate that band).

However, what I like most about prog rock is just how damn stupid it can be. And I mean that as a compliment. There is no shame in prog, no restraint, it is what it is, like it or not. And that’s how we get stuff like a theatrical performance of King Arhtur ON ICE (thank you Rick Wakeman) and Peter Gabriel performing as a flower.

Fireballet definitely encompasses everything I love about prog rock, preposterous concepts, technical ability and a hard-to-define wackiness, all in one amazingly odd and quirky album.

Night On Bald Mountain was Fireballet’s first release and came out on Passport records in 1975. In ways the album is actually restrained when compared to other prog rock releases, most of the songs hover around the four-minute mark, and keyboard solos are kept to a minimum on those numbers. However, it’s the other two pieces in which Fireballet really let their freak prog flag fly in all its insane and ludicrous glory.

The first is “Les Cathedrales” which apparently borrows liberally from Theme One by Van De Graff Generator. Even though, they mix it up a bit, adding a great spacey intro and moving the originals sax melody to various keyboards and other electronic instruments. The vocals by lead singer Jim Como are also an addition to the original, and his forceful delivery really drive home the energy of the tune in the bridge before it delves off into solo insanity.

The real highlight of the album though is the title track, a 19-minute take on the Modest Mussorgsky composition that features every damn instrument you could possibly imagine (more on that in a minute) and some original lyrics about wizards…and stuff (okay the lyrics are kind of out there). Needless to say it’s totally insane/inane/brilliant stuff. It’s definitely the kind of thing that could only be created in the 70s that’s for sure.

If you decide to download these songs (and if you’ve read this far I’m assuming you have) then you might be wondering what the hell you’re hearing. There’s a lot going on here man. Thankfully the back cover breaks down the instrumentation by performer for us.

Jim Como was the Phil Collins of the group, going double-duty as a drummer/singer. In addition to drums he also played timpani, xylophone, vibes, glockenspiel, Chinese bell tree, gongs, finger cymbals, tubular bells (which is apparently more than a Mike Oldfield album) and triangle. I do love that he felt the need to credit his gong playing separately from his drum playing, hell I love the fact that he had multiple gongs! Bryan Howe backed up Jim as the organ player, rocking out on a Hammond and pipe organ as well as a celeste. And while Howe may have been the organ player, Fireballet also had a pianist. His name was Frank Petlo and he played piano, electric piano, ARP 2600 Synthesizer, Mellotron, electronic strings and the Oberheim DS-2 digital sequencer. Ryche Chlandra was the guitarist of the group, playing both acoustic and electric. He also performed various “electronic devices” which is probably the coolest credit in the history of music. Rounding out the group was the Marytn Biglin who played bass, 12-string guitar, bass pedals and Moog Taurus pedals. Their producer, one Ian McDonald of King Crimson and Foreigner fame, also contributed to the mix, playing sax and flute on a couple tracks.

That is…a lot of instruments. One can only imagine what their practice space looked like. Did these guys ever go on tour? I couldn’t find any information on their live show. I do know that they released one more album (the hilariously-named Two-Too) before calling it quits. They have a MySpace page however, and Ryche is even on Twitter!

Despite these all work remains out of print, never released on CD – which is why I am putting up all of Night On Bald Mountain here for download. If anyone from Fireballet objects, please let me know and I shall remove its progtastical greatness in due haste. Until then I recommend everyone check it out, its’ great stuff. And it’ll make you want to watch Fantasia (which for some reason I have on LaserDisc – so I got that going for me, which is nice).

Posted in Complete Albums, Fireballet, prog rock | 1 Comment »

Flu me

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009

Ugh, this is only my third post this month! I was going to kick ass as be all prolific this week but I am currently ill. I have the flu, possibly of the swine variety. It’s not fun. Right now I’m functioning on Sudafed alone. I got so much of that shit in me that you could cook meth from my blood.

However, I am a many of my word and promised more ridiculous Moroder insanity this week, so here it is.

Giorgio Moroder & Joe Esposito – Solitary Men
Solitary Man
Show Me The Night
My Girl
Too Hot To Touch
Diamond Lizzy
Washed in The Neon Light
A Love Affair
Nights in White Satin (has a skip in the first minute, sorry!)
Lady, Lady
White Hotel
To Turn The Stone
I was presented with quite the moral quandary with this one. This is NOT a good album, in fact, it’s quite awful. However, it is very hard to get in America and it is excessively weird and of note for a number of reasons. For that I feel it is worth posting and talking about. However, I can not downplay just how awful this record is. If you don’t recognize either of the people responsible for it then I suggest moving along and coming back later in the week. Otherwise…

If you’re a regular visitor to this blog then you probably know who Giorgio Moroder is. I talked about him briefly in my last post and I will once again point those who want to know more to his Wikipedia page.

But who is Joe Esposito you ask? You fool! Why he’s only the singer/songwriter behind the best non-Rocky sports movie montage song of the 80s! That song is of course “You’re The Best” from The Karate Kid, a ridiculous piece of motivational tripe that should be on your iPod’s workout playlist.

I have more to say, but I’m very tired, so screw it. Sorry.

PS: “Lady, Lady” is fucking gross.

Posted in Complete Albums, Giorgio Moroder, Joe Esposito | 3 Comments »

To Boldy Go Where Many Blogs have Gone Before

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

Newsflash, I’m a nerd. And as a nerd I enjoy Star Trek.

I’ve seen the new movie three times now (twice on IMAX) and I plan on seeing it at least three more times in the theater if I have anything to say about it. It’s held up on each viewing and I’m beginning to think it just might be my favorite movie of all time. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen a movie I’ve liked that much in the theatre. Dark Knight was great, but it sure was flawed (and too long). And a lot of my all-time favorite movies (Aliens, Clerks, A Clockwork Orange to name a few) I didn’t see in the theatres.

I guess the only movie going experiences I can compare to Star Trek in terms of how they made me feel are the first Spider-Man film, Rushmore, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and The Last of the Mohicans. An odd list for sure, but I fell in love with each of those films because they touched me in unique ways. Spider-Man made be believe in movies again, and restored my faith that sometimes a studio can actually not fuck something up (let’s not talk about Spider-Man 3 okay?). Rushmore is just a great fucking movie, and one that I identified with in ways I can’t even describe, I saw that flick four times in the theatres, a record that will finally break when I see Star Trek a few more times this month. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is just a great fun movie, and I think it was the last action movie I saw “as a kid” that really captured my imagination. On the flip side of that was The Last of the Mohicans, a decidedly adult action film that I appreciated on a more mature level admiring its cinematography and amazing score. It was also the first movie that I remember being happy that I saw it on a big screen because it was so damn beautiful.

I guess Star Trek kind of hits on all four of those points. It gives me faith that some people out there actually know what the fuck they are doing, I identify with it in strangely personal ways, I enjoy it the way a kid would, and I respect and appreciate it as a piece of great filmmaking (the film looks and sounds AMAZING). I think you can add to that the sense of nostalgia it brings to me. Although I was never a huge fan of the original series growing up, I used to watch TNG all the time with my parents, and it remains one of the few pop culture points my dad and I have in common.

Whatever the reason is, I fucking love that movie. And I know it’s going to be all I want to talk about for at least another week or so. Thankfully I was able to dig out some Star Trek related stuff in my vast music library, so I can fulfill my nerd trekkie needs and update this blog all at the same time!

Inside Star Trek
This was an album released by Columbia records in 1977. Let’s put that date in context; by 1977 the original series of Star Trek had been off the air for eight years, and the first movie was still two years away. So fans at the time were clamoring for anything Trek related. Star Trek conventions had taken off, and regularly featured appearances by Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry and various cast members. This album mainly consists for speeches and talks given at various Star Trek conventions, with some other stuff thrown in for good measure. It’s a little uneven, and pretty dated, but fans of the show should enjoy hearing Roddenberry talk, and its an interesting time capsule of what the fandom was like in 1977.

Inside Stark Trek
Star Trek Theme
A quick introduction followed by the original theme song.

William Shatner Meets Captain Kirk
This isn’t Shatner interviewing Kirk, thank god, but Roddenberry interviewing Shatner. Most of these stories have been told before and since but it’s always fun to hear Shatner being Shatner.

The Origin of Spock
A quick speech from Roddenberry about how Spock changed from the inception of the show to the original pilot to the final version we are know and love. Very funny with a great punchline.

Sarek’s Son Spock
Mark Leonard talks in character as Sarek to Gene Roddenberry. A lot of time is spent on Vulcan mating, including how a human woman could be seriously injured during form it. It’s kind of creepy to be honest.

The Questor Affair
Roddenberry tells his story about The Questor Tapes, a failed pilot that was never more than a movie-of-the-week. It’s an interesting bit of Star Trek history since much of it was the basis for Data. Roddenberry rants about network censorship (a common theme of this LP) and finishes with a semi-dirty joke (another common theme of this LP).

The Enterprise Runs Aground
Gene Roddenberry was a perv, I think this speech of his about sexuality and gender equality on the Enterprise proves it.

McCoy’s Rx For Life
DeForest Kelly talks to Roddenberry about life, the universe and everything, he sounded like a pretty awesome dude.

The Star Trek Philosophy
Well, this is what it’s all about. This should really be called Gene Roddenberry’s Philosophy, since he pretty much sums up his entire world view in about four and half minutes. He also goes into detail as to why he thinks the show became show popular later on, while attacking anyone who tries to exploit it. A well-spoken speech, if a little snarky.

Asimov’s World Of Science Fiction
Geekgasm alert: this is Gene Roddenberry interviewing Isaac Asimov. They talk about their legacies and what they consider science-fiction to be. Interesting stuff.

A Letter From a Network Censor
Roddenberry speaking at a Star Trek convention again, this time doing a little bit about how he feels about network executives by reading network notes regarding The Bible. Kind of stupid but funny.

The Star Trek Dream
This closer is similar to “The Star Trek Philosophy” and features Roddenberry waxing nostalgic about his past and how he got into science fiction.

I might have another post tomorrow, if not, more stuff (both Trekkie and not) next week.

Posted in Complete Albums, Nerd Alert, Star Trek | No Comments »

Blog With me if you Want to Live

Monday, May 11th, 2009

On May 21st Terminator Salvation comes out and I am stoked to a level that is kind of fucking terrifying, especially considering that I never even saw T3 all the way through. Maybe it’s because of the trailer, which features the best usage of NIN in the history of all things ever.

Strangely enough, the soundtracks to both T1 and T2 are out of print and go for huge buckage on Amazon and eBay. That’s insane. I know the rights to the Terminator films are kind of complicated, and I’m sure the soundtrack rights are even more so, but you think whomever owns the rights would figure out that there might be some major cash-in bucks to made with the original soundtracks. Paying $125 for one on Amazon is a little nuts.

Now, I don’t have the definite edition, which features the complete score, but I do have the original version, which features the pop songs (which are NOT on the definite edition) so it’s a trade-off I guess.

So, without further ado…

Brad Fiedel – The Terminator Score
The Terminator Theme
Terminator Arrival
Tunnel Chase
Love Scene
Future Remembered
Factory Chase
The Terminator score is a work of synthesized art, barren and brilliant, perfectly matching the stark and brutal tone of the film. Brad Fiedel was the composer and performer of the piece (save for some electronic violin) and its probably his best-known work. Aside from the first two Terminator films he also did the music for both Fright Night films, Wes Craven’s Serpent and the Rainbow, and the Jodie Foster drama The Accused (one of the best movies you should never see). In the nineties he hooked up with Cameron again for True Lies and quickly after that did the score for the abomination known as Johnny Mnemonic (one of the worst moves you should see). He was passed for fucking Danny Elfman for the new Salvation, which is a damned shame. This is one of the best synthesized scores ever, ranking right up there with the original Halloween and Wendy Carlos’ A Clockwork Orange. It’s not the best Arnold movie score however, which isn’t a knock on it as much as it is unapologetic praise for the score to Conan the Barbarian, which is probably one of the top five scores of all time.

Tahnee Cain And The Tryanglz
You Can’t Do That
Burnin’ In The Third Degree
Photoplay
Tahnee Cain is actually Tane McClure, a singer/actress whose work you have no doubt seen, especially if you like 80s/90s b-movies like Bikini Academy and Illicit Dreams 2. Her biggest roles were probably in Go and the Legally Blonde films as Elle’s mom. She’s 49 years old, damn hot and has a bitchin’ rack, no doubt thanks to Dr. 90210 (according to the IMDB she was on an episode of the show called “Thanks for the Mammaries”). Tane seems to be a relentless self-promoter, and has her own webpage and YouTube channel. She seems fairly tech-savvy, which means she’ll probably find this blog eventually, so if you’re reading this Tane and you’re pissed I put your songs up just email me and I’ll take them down! Don’t go Steve Winwood on me and DMCA my ass please!

Anyways, her songs, oh yeah. I don’t remember “You Can’t do That” from the film that well, but “Burnin’ in the Third Degree” is the song that’s playing when all hell breaks loose in Technoir and it’s a solid example of 80s synthpop/rock that holds up pretty damn well. Tane has some pipes on her. “Photoplay,” which is also in the Technoir scene I believe, is pretty good as well.

Jay Ferguson and 16mm
Pictures Of You
Jay Ferguson was in Spirit, a 60s/70s psychedelic band, but you’d never know it from this synthpop song, which sounds like something Michael Sembello would have record for a never-realized sequel to Flashdance. I don’t remember at which point this track pops up in the soundtrack either.

Linn Van Hek
Imtimacy
This is the song that Sarah Conner’s roomie is rocking out to before Arnold kills her. It’s by far the most experimental of the pop songs on the soundtrack, very post-punk/electronic sounding. I dig it. I can find next to nothing on Linn Van Hek though, other than the fact that this song actually got a 12” single release in Australia. Odd.

Posted in Complete Albums, Jay Ferguson, Linn Van Hek, soundtrack, Tahnee Cain | No Comments »

Dreaming Of Tangerines In Space

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

Haven’t gone through all the links yet, but I’ve already discovered some pretty sweet ones thanks to you people. There are so many good sites out there but for every quality blog there are 50 that are pure shite, so thanks everyone for acting as my filter. Now here’s some music no one will want as a reward.

FM – Black Noise
A great Canadian rock trio that specializes in space-themed prog. Rush? Fuck no! I’m talking about FM! FM is awesome, well at least this album is, I haven’t been able to find anything else by the group. How awesome is FM you ask? Well, for starters they don’t have a guitar player! That’s right motherfuckers, they rock it with glockenspiels, mandolins and electric violins! Need more proof? One of their early members was a guy called Nash the Slash, and look at him! Black Noise is all sci-fi insanity, with amazing song titles like “Slaughter In Robot Village,” “Dialing For Dhrama” and “Phasors On Stun.” If Rush is too low key and subtle for you then FM is your band. Much better lead singer too – although that’s not saying much when your comparison point is Geddy Lee. According to Wikipedia (which is always right) Black Noise is in print, but I can’t find a copy new anywhere – only overpriced and used. So its hard enough to find for me to justify putting the whole thing up.

Flashpoint – Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Treat Williams and Kris Kristofferson find a wrecked Jeep in the desert that had a dead body, a rifle and a shitload of money. The dead dude is the guy who killed Kennedy and the money was his reward. So of course Kirstofferson and Williams try to keep the money. Sounds like the best movie ever made doesn’t it? But wait, Rip Torn is in it! It IS the best movie ever made. Need further proof? Tangerine Dream provided the soundtrack, well most of the soundtrack, the title track is by a band called The Gems and it has to be one of the worst pieces of shit ever put to vinyl. This is another one of Tangerine Dream’s out-of-print and overlooked 80s soundtracks to a movie no one ever heard of, and is worth a listen if you like them. The opening track is especially good.

Posted in Complete Albums, FM, soundtrack, Tangerine Dream | 4 Comments »

If I Ever Get Out Of This Remix

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

I have a cat now. And because of the little furry bastard I’m pretty tired, so let’s just get right to it.

Twin Freaks
My respect for Paul McCartney has grown tremendously in the past few months. First I discovered Fireman, the electronic/alternative rock collaborative project between Youth from Killing Joke and McCartney, and now this. Twin Freaks is a remix collection by McCartney and Freelance Hellraiser, who you may know from his legendary 2002 bootleg mash-up “A Stroke Of Genius.” Apparently he went on tour with McCartney in 2004, and that led to this collection of McCartney remixes and mash-ups. How does that even happen? An online remixer gets contacted by a Beatle and the next thing you know they’re collaborating together? That would be like Conan O’Brien reading my semi-misogynist rant against Fergie and getting me a job at The Tonight Show.

Anyways, The Twin Freaks album appears to have been a one-off, and in more ways that one. EMI released the album as a 2-LP vinyl release only, and it only got one printing. Needless to say it’s pretty hard to find and out-of-print, so of course I found it in a record store in Toledo. The world is weird man.

But back to the record, all of these songs are either Paul McCartney tunes or tracks that appeared on Wings albums (with one exception) so if you’re expecting a remix of “Hard Day’s Night” or “Helter Skelter” you’re going to be let down. Still, this is a very interesting record that deserves a wider release. Some of these tracks are pretty obscure though, so here’s a track-by-track rundown of where these songs are from. If you want more information about what other tracks are mashed into this then go to this site.

Really Love You
Originally on Flaming Pie.

Long Haired Lady (Reprise)
“Long Haired Lady” (without the reprise) was on Ram.

Rinse The Raindrops
Originally on Driving Rain

Darkroom
The first of many songs on this record that was originally on McCartney II, not a surprise since that record itself is pretty heavy on the electronics.

Live And Let Die
You know this one.

Temporary Secretary
Another track from McCartney II.

What’s That You’re Doing
From Tug Of War, thank God they chose this and not Ebony and Ivory.

Oh Woman, Oh Why
A 1971 non-album b-side that is also on the deluxe version of Ram.

Mumbo
From Wild Life, the first Wings album.

Lalula
I think this is an original creation made from several other songs.

Coming Up
Another from McCartney II. You might not recognize the name of this tune but trust me you’ve heard it.

Maybe I’m Amazed
Okay, if you don’t know this song then there’s no helping you. This is truly saving the best for last, an amazing remix of a legendary song.

Posted in Complete Albums, Freelance Hellraiser, Paul McCartney | No Comments »

Hardcore Moog

Thursday, July 10th, 2008

I’ve always been of two, okay three, minds about what kind of music this blog should be about. Most of my more dedicated readers/listeners seem to enjoy the remixes the most, specifically the stuff from the 80s. That would probably explain why I’m listed as an “80s blog” on most other sites. That’s fine, and I enjoy putting up remixes and other B-sides, but to me that can get old after a while – the amount of Depeche Mode I post far outweighs my desire to talk about Depeche Mode. Don’t worry though, I’m not going to stop posting 80s music anytime soon. I love the stuff, it’s just not the easiest shit to write about.

A smaller (but very vocal) segment of my audience seems to enjoy the soundtracks and compilations I put up. I really love putting up these as well, and for a couple reasons. Firstly, I’m a huge movie fan, I was even a film major and my dream job is still to be a film critic. Movies are my life. Secondly, I fucking hate it when I see rare and hard-to-find soundtracks on eBay for an insane price. That shit pisses me off, and if I can do anything to hurt the lively-hood of dickfaced gougers then I’m happy.

However the shit I really enjoy talking and posting about is the stuff that most people couldn’t give two shits about, and that’s the ultra-weird, super-obscure random bullshit that I occasionally find while digging through record crates. Whenever I post really out there shit my readership dips into the negative zone and while it doesn’t piss me off it does kind of irk me. The Happy Moog is one of my favorite albums ever dammit, download it! And Music From Mathematics!! Sure, I’m the first to admit that it’s not something I listen to on a regular basis, but it’s one a historical landmark! And Stardrive motherfucker – listen to the funkatude!

What I’m saying is that you should give the weird shit a chance, you never know what you’ll discover. If could be the best record you’ve never heard. Or it could be some of the most epically stupid shit you’ll ever going to be exposed to, like the album I’m featuring tonight.

The Sounds Of Love…A To Zzz – Sensously SINThesized
Okay, this is no Music From Mathematics, but it what it lacks in historical interest, importance and any sort of musical quality it more than makes up for in all out fucked up stupidity and weirdness. This is an early electronic record, but not like The Happy Moog or Dick Hyman’s Eclectic Electrics. No, this is a “heavy breathing” record that, in addition to poorly arranged Moog music, features a woman orgasmically moaning nearly non-stop.

Why?

I have no idea.

Who did this?

I have no idea?

Is it good?

NO! But is it fun to listen to? Oh hell yeah. If I lived in a dorm still I would crank this, put it on repeat and leave my room for four hours. Everyone would think I was a super-stud with awful taste in music. Anyways, if you have even the most remote interest in the odd, out there or just plain stupid you owe it to yourself to download these tracks.

Now a track-by-track breakdown.

Scented Wind
First off, what the fuck is with that title? Is that supposed to be romantic or sensual? I don’t know about you but when I hear the words “scented wind” I’m not thinking about sweet lovemaking. This is nothing but tonal synthesizer notes and a lady moaning. Calling it a song would be an overstatement, it’s just some dude pounding on a synthesizer while some woman gets pounded. Strangely, like every other track on the album, the only voice you hear is the woman’s. Which means this woman is either pleasuring herself while listening to early experimental electronica, or the musical equipment itself is fucking her (it seems to pick up the pace when she really gets going). I can’t decide which is more disturbing. There’s always the possibility that there’s someone else there pleasuring her orally while pounding on the keyboards, that would at least explain why the song is so damn simple.

Black & Blues
Not bluesy at all, but at least this one somewhat resembles a song. More of the same with the unnamed female, she’s moaning and purring with pleasure, but the synthesizer this time around is a little more interesting. Still extremely simple, but at least there’s a melody and even a beat (which is strangely reminiscent of Space Invaders). If you only download one track from this record make sure it’s this one.

Midnight Waterfalls
No sounds of pleasure on this one, no real music either. This is just an experimental “noise” track and nothing else. If you’ve ever heard any really early Moog albums then you’ve heard stuff like this, very atonal, music concrete type stuff. This is what synthesizer music was before people like Wendy Carlos and Dick Hyman showed that it could be used to make real music. This shit goes on for nearly 10 minutes, have courage.

Pavanne
Well, the woman is all rested up and back for more synthetic (or should I say SINthetic…no probably not) loving. This time she’s – ahem – enjoying the soothing sounds of Ravel’s Pavane (misspelled on the LP as “Pavanne”). Most early electronic albums fell back on classical compositions when they ran out of original material, and this sleazefest is no different. From this point it’s all classical.

Bolero
The love for Ravel continues, this time with his most famous piece. The woman really enjoys this one, so much so that for the last bit of the song she’s breathing so hard that her voice becomes a little distorted (they obviously put the mic right up to her mouth, you can even hear her lick her lips sometimes). Musically it’s extremely straightforward and traditional, making the moaning babe even more of a distraction.

Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 21
We come to a conclusion with one of Mozart’s most famous pieces. The fact that this is the only performance of a Mozart composition that I currently have on my hard drive makes me feel like a fucking retard. Anyways, this one shifts back and forth between traditional and experimental. While most of the notes sound like they are being played on a piano, occasionally things get wacky and the notes are occasionally put through the modulator (again another common element of early synthesizer recordings). The broad moans pretty ecstatically through this one, but not as much as she does as other ones. Shit, she was probably exhausted by this point.

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Super Ultra Rare Bizarre Soundtrack Day 1

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

Hearts Of Fire was the third movie to feature Bob Dylan in an acting role. The first was the well-known Sam Peckinpah western Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid and the second was a rarely seen four-hour film directed by Dylan called Renaldo And Clara which came out in 1978. Hearts Of Fire came out in 1987 and was not well liked by just about anyone. Critics hated it, audiences avoided it, and Bob Dylan was so upset with it that he didn’t act again until 2003’s Masked And Anonymous (it must have taken him that long to find another movie that would be as hated as Hearts Of Fire). Some people claim that the movie was so bad that it killed the director Richard Marquad – who previously directed Return Of The Jedi and the thriller Jagged Edge. Still wondering how bad the movie is? It was written by Joe “Showgirls” Eszterhas, I think that says it all.

Anyways, in addition to old Bobby D the movie also stars a chick by the name of Fiona (not Apple) and Rupert Everett (yes…that Rupert Everett). I’ve never seen the flick so I can’t say that much about it, but from what I’ve read it’s your typical two guys-one girl story, with the two guys being Bob Dylan and Rupert Everett. With choices like that the girl is better off alone.

The soundtrack to Hearts Of Fire was just as panned as the movie, but in retrospect is worth mentioning because it features three exclusive tracks by Bob Dylan. It also features Rupert Everett “singing” but more on that later.

Fiona
Hearts Of Fire
I’m In It For Love
Hair Of The Dog (That Bit You)
The Nights We Spent On Earth
Let The Good Times Roll
So the producers of Hearts Of Fire somehow con one of the greatest signer/songwriters of all-time to star in their film and when the time came to release the soundtrack they throw him to the side and give this unknown babe center stage. Don’t get me wrong, Fiona has an alright voice and all, but she’s not Dylan. Of course, considering how bad Dylan was throughout most of the 80s that might not be true after all. These are good 80s pop-rock songs, completely harmless and disposable.

Bob Dylan
The Usual
Night After Night
Had A Dream About You, Baby
These are the real gems of the album, not in terms of quality mind you, but in terms of rarity. While an alternate version of “Had A Dream About You, Baby” appeared on Dylan’s 1988 suckstorm of a record Down In The Groove. “The Usual” is a John Hiatt cover and “Night After Night” is a Dylan original that’s never seen the light of day since its inclusion on this soundtrack. Because of these rare Dylan songs this soundtrack goes for quite a bit online, but anyone paying over 20 bucks for these so-so Dylan tracks is crazier than he ever was.

Rupert Everett
Tainted Love
In My Heart
However, sixty bucks is a small price to pay to hear Rupert “Everyone’s favorite gay best friend” Everett try to sing 80s pop songs. “In My Heart” is forgettable crap, what’s really worth listening here is his insanely-awful cover of “Tainted Love.” Everett can’t sing at all. Seriously, it’s really really bad. It would probably be the worst cover of “Tainted Love” if it wasn’t for the fact that everyone from Marylin Manson to The Pussycat Dolls have taken turns butchering it. I’d love to see the context in which this song is presented in the movie. I’m sure it involves Everett trying to woo Fiona away from Dylan in some dark smokey dive bar outside of London or some shit like that.

Anyways, um enjoy? These tracks aren’t the best in the world, but they are interesting so check them out.

I’ll have more rare soundtracks (including one with more rare Dylan – and some that are actually good!!) later this week.

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