I’ve always been of two, okay three, minds about what kind of music this blog should be about. Most of my more dedicated readers/listeners seem to enjoy the remixes the most, specifically the stuff from the 80s. That would probably explain why I’m listed as an “80s blog” on most other sites. That’s fine, and I enjoy putting up remixes and other B-sides, but to me that can get old after a while – the amount of Depeche Mode I post far outweighs my desire to talk about Depeche Mode. Don’t worry though, I’m not going to stop posting 80s music anytime soon. I love the stuff, it’s just not the easiest shit to write about.
A smaller (but very vocal) segment of my audience seems to enjoy the soundtracks and compilations I put up. I really love putting up these as well, and for a couple reasons. Firstly, I’m a huge movie fan, I was even a film major and my dream job is still to be a film critic. Movies are my life. Secondly, I fucking hate it when I see rare and hard-to-find soundtracks on eBay for an insane price. That shit pisses me off, and if I can do anything to hurt the lively-hood of dickfaced gougers then I’m happy.
However the shit I really enjoy talking and posting about is the stuff that most people couldn’t give two shits about, and that’s the ultra-weird, super-obscure random bullshit that I occasionally find while digging through record crates. Whenever I post really out there shit my readership dips into the negative zone and while it doesn’t piss me off it does kind of irk me. The Happy Moog is one of my favorite albums ever dammit, download it! And Music From Mathematics!! Sure, I’m the first to admit that it’s not something I listen to on a regular basis, but it’s one a historical landmark! And Stardrive motherfucker – listen to the funkatude!
What I’m saying is that you should give the weird shit a chance, you never know what you’ll discover. If could be the best record you’ve never heard. Or it could be some of the most epically stupid shit you’ll ever going to be exposed to, like the album I’m featuring tonight.
The Sounds Of Love…A To Zzz – Sensously SINThesized
Okay, this is no Music From Mathematics, but it what it lacks in historical interest, importance and any sort of musical quality it more than makes up for in all out fucked up stupidity and weirdness. This is an early electronic record, but not like The Happy Moog or Dick Hyman’s Eclectic Electrics. No, this is a “heavy breathing” record that, in addition to poorly arranged Moog music, features a woman orgasmically moaning nearly non-stop.
Why?
I have no idea.
Who did this?
I have no idea?
Is it good?
NO! But is it fun to listen to? Oh hell yeah. If I lived in a dorm still I would crank this, put it on repeat and leave my room for four hours. Everyone would think I was a super-stud with awful taste in music. Anyways, if you have even the most remote interest in the odd, out there or just plain stupid you owe it to yourself to download these tracks.
Now a track-by-track breakdown.
Scented Wind
First off, what the fuck is with that title? Is that supposed to be romantic or sensual? I don’t know about you but when I hear the words “scented wind” I’m not thinking about sweet lovemaking. This is nothing but tonal synthesizer notes and a lady moaning. Calling it a song would be an overstatement, it’s just some dude pounding on a synthesizer while some woman gets pounded. Strangely, like every other track on the album, the only voice you hear is the woman’s. Which means this woman is either pleasuring herself while listening to early experimental electronica, or the musical equipment itself is fucking her (it seems to pick up the pace when she really gets going). I can’t decide which is more disturbing. There’s always the possibility that there’s someone else there pleasuring her orally while pounding on the keyboards, that would at least explain why the song is so damn simple.
Black & Blues
Not bluesy at all, but at least this one somewhat resembles a song. More of the same with the unnamed female, she’s moaning and purring with pleasure, but the synthesizer this time around is a little more interesting. Still extremely simple, but at least there’s a melody and even a beat (which is strangely reminiscent of Space Invaders). If you only download one track from this record make sure it’s this one.
Midnight Waterfalls
No sounds of pleasure on this one, no real music either. This is just an experimental “noise” track and nothing else. If you’ve ever heard any really early Moog albums then you’ve heard stuff like this, very atonal, music concrete type stuff. This is what synthesizer music was before people like Wendy Carlos and Dick Hyman showed that it could be used to make real music. This shit goes on for nearly 10 minutes, have courage.
Pavanne
Well, the woman is all rested up and back for more synthetic (or should I say SINthetic…no probably not) loving. This time she’s – ahem – enjoying the soothing sounds of Ravel’s Pavane (misspelled on the LP as “Pavanne”). Most early electronic albums fell back on classical compositions when they ran out of original material, and this sleazefest is no different. From this point it’s all classical.
Bolero
The love for Ravel continues, this time with his most famous piece. The woman really enjoys this one, so much so that for the last bit of the song she’s breathing so hard that her voice becomes a little distorted (they obviously put the mic right up to her mouth, you can even hear her lick her lips sometimes). Musically it’s extremely straightforward and traditional, making the moaning babe even more of a distraction.
Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 21
We come to a conclusion with one of Mozart’s most famous pieces. The fact that this is the only performance of a Mozart composition that I currently have on my hard drive makes me feel like a fucking retard. Anyways, this one shifts back and forth between traditional and experimental. While most of the notes sound like they are being played on a piano, occasionally things get wacky and the notes are occasionally put through the modulator (again another common element of early synthesizer recordings). The broad moans pretty ecstatically through this one, but not as much as she does as other ones. Shit, she was probably exhausted by this point.