This week was my last before classes start up again for me so I’ve been taking my time off to do some constructive writing and critical analysis. Just shitting you, I’ve spent most of it watching the bonus features on the massive 5-disc uber-awesome collector’s edition of Blade Runner. Between the five(!!) different versions of the movie, three commentaries and hours upon hours of behind-the-scenes footage, deleted scenes and promotional materials, I’m shocked that I’ve managed to leave the house at all this week. That set comes with my highest recommendation, if you’re a movie geek then you have no excuse not to buy it (not even poverty – sell some blood and get on that shit).

Elton Motello
Jet Boy, Jet Girl
I mentioned that this song would eventually make it here and as promised here it is. This is probably the most blatantly sexual, dirty and X-rated song I’ve posted yet. And don’t forget that I posted “Me So Horny” just a couple weeks ago. This song has very odd history and rather than just summarize it myself I suggest you all go to this excellent site and read about it yourself. One funny thing I’d like to mention about the song is that everyone’s favorite retarded douchebag Jack Thompson actually won a case when he complained to the FCC that this song was obscene and should not have been played on the radio. The FCC ended up fining the station $10,000. I guess everyone wins one once in a while. This is the insane seven minute version of the song that just keeps going much longer than it probably should.

Traci Lords
Fallen Angel (Perfecto Mix)
Fallen Angel (Honeymoon Stitch Mix)
Fallen Angel (Muzik Club Vocal)
Fallen Angel (Mykonos House Mix)
Since were on the topic of obscene I figured I’d bring out these remixes by everyone’s favorite underaged porn-star turned somewhat respectable actress/singer. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (if someone asks) Traci Lords is a surprisingly good singer and should really do it more often. These remixes are off of a 12” vinyl.

Chemical Brothers
Galvanize (Extended Version)
Acid Children (Electronic Battle Weapon 7)
“Galvanize” is the song that, if you watch football, you hear at least once a week because it’s always played in an incredibly obnoxious Budweiser ad. It’s the “there’s a party over here so we might as well be here…” song. It’s stupid party techno, but sometimes that’s what you need. “Acid Children”, on the other hand, is an insane hardcore trance tune complete with a creepy vocal sample. An ad company with some balls would use that tune for a commercial!

Everyone have a fantabulously fantabulous New Year’s? I got so shitfaced that I sang “Total Eclipse Of The Heart” on Karaoke Revolution”. When I have too much vodka my desire to sing that song becomes unbearable for some bizarre reason. People love it when the 6’6” dude rocks out Bonnie Tyler though, so everyone wins.

I kicked in Christmas with an old-school rap post and in doing so I promised more in the future, so what better way to ring in the new year than with more classic hip-hop cuts. I have a few more to get through but since I haven’t even recorded those yet don’t hold your breath.

Terminator X
Wanna Be Dancin’
Buck-Whylin’
Groove Wit The X-Man
He used to be the DJ to the most political and influential rap group in the world. Now according to this article he runs an ostrich farm in South Carolina. I’m surprised that hasn’t been turned into a reality show on VH1 (give ’em time though). “Wanna Be Dancin'” and “Buck Whylin” are from his now out-of-print debut solo record which came out in 1991, the other track is an instrumental B-side.

Run DMC
Together Forever (Krush Groove 4) (Live At Hollis Park ’84)
I’m Not Going Out Like That (House Mix)
I’m Not Going Out Like That (Miami Mix)
You Be Illin’ (Remix)
This is my fifth post to incorporate Run DMC in one way or another. To say I worship the trio from Hollis is a bit of an understatement. I used to have Raisin’ Hell on vinyl but I lent it to a “friend” that I never heard from again. That’s why I never give nobody nothing anymore. I got these remixes, live versions and what-not from some 12” singles I got a few weeks ago. The live version of “Together Forever” is a little scratchy since the vinyl I got it from was torn to all shit. The remix of “You Be Illin'” has more horns it (because the original was lacking in that for some reason?) and the two remxies of “I’m Not Going Out Like That” are above-average for latter-day Run DMC tunes.

Arrested Development
People Everyday (Metamorphosis Mix)
People Everyday (Maroon Mix)
Tennessee (Remix)
They got back together didn’t they? Anyone care to share how their new album is? Also, does anyone know if their amazing performance from MTV Unplugged is available on anything? That was such a good episode. Why does MTV sit on all those great episodes? I’m still waiting for a release of Stevie Ray Vaughn’s episode some umpteen years after the fact. These are 12” remixes.

Method Man & Mary J. Blige
I’ll Be There For You/You’re All I Need To Get By (Razor Sharp Mix)
I’ll Be There For You/You’re All I Need To Get By (Puff Daddy Mix)
I’m sure every girl wants to hear “you’re my nigga” and “no need to shop around you got the good shit at home” from their man. Other than some rather dubious odes to the opposite sex this is probably one of the best rap songs of the late 90s, a time period of rap music that I am not particularly fond of. Of course compared to Soujah Boy shit like Bone Thugs & Harmony is downright poetic. These remixes are off of the 12” single.

So did everyone have just a wonderful holiday? This year my friends and family finally wised up and didn’t buy me any vinyl, since whenever they do I already own it and then I’m a dickhead for saying so. My prized gift is the new three-disc edition of Close Encounters Of The Third Kind, which includes all three versions of the classic sci-fi film. I’m the same way with alternate film cuts as I am with remixes and extended versions of songs, I got to watch them all and note all the differences. I’m sick like that.

This’ll be my last post for 2007 so everyone have a happy and drunken New Year’s.

Against Me!
You Must Be Willing
My pick for the best album of 2007 is Against Me!’s shockingly great New Wave. Now, whenever I hear someone say “this is the next Nevermind” I want to punch them in the taint, but this time I actually believed it. I’m still dumbfounded by the somewhat lukewarm reaction this masterpiece is getting. Hey you fucking kids, do you want to be remembered as the generation that left behind Against Me! for the latest My Chemical Romance album? Get your shit together. Fucking wankers.

Spoon
The Underdog (Demo)
It Took A Rumor To Make Me Wonder, Now I’m Convinced I’m Going Under
Another great album of 2007 was Spoon’s Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga (it does win my award for best album title). I got a 45 when I bought it, and these are the tracks that were on it.

Arctic Monkeys
The Bakery
Plastic Tramp
Too Much To Ask
I got these off of a 10” single for “Fluorescent Adolescent.” Great song title that one, wonder what it means. Whenever I hear the title I think of the most annoying thing in the world, since both fluorescent lights and adolescent douchebags are the two most annoying things on the planet. Good song tough. The very end of The Bakery is a little scratchy, sorry bout that but I couldn’t do much to fix it.

Blur
Girls & Boys (Pet Shop Boys 12” Mix)
M.O.R. (Road Version)
Pop Scene (Live)
Song 2 (Live)
Bustin’ + Dronin’
Tender (Cornelius Remix)
So You
Okay, my plan was to dissect the famous chorus to “Girls & Boys” and through a process of elimination figure out who/what likes who/what in the song. After about 10 minutes and a killer headache I gave up. I got that remix off of a peachy keen neato transparent orange vinyl a few weeks back. The rest of these remixes and B-sides are from CD-singles I scored whilst Christmas shopping. Remixing “Tender” was kind of a bold move on their part, as “Tender” is probably one of the most beloved songs in Brit-Pop history. The remix is decent, but it doesn’t really do anything for me other than make me want to listen to the original version again. The live version of “Song 2” is nuts, since they somehow managed to make it a few seconds shorter than the already short studio version. Reminds me of Pearl Jam when they do “Lukin‘” live, they’ve managed to cut that tune down from 1:02 to under 48 seconds on occasion. That’s totally punk rawk.

Last year for my big Christmas post I put up every single White Stripes single I owned. This year I’m doing something a bit different and I’m cleaning out my closet of old-school hip-hop and R&B. This isn’t all the old-school shit I got, but it’s some of the best. Here’s hoping all of you have a happy Christmas and stuff. See you next week.

L.L. Cool J
Mama Said Knock You Out (Hot Mix Long)
Mama Said Knock You Out (7 A.M. Mix)
Arguably one of the greatest rap singles of all-time, these remixes are pretty far-out re-interpretations of it. The “Hot Mix” isn’t even a remix really, it’s more like a completely re-recorded version of it with new vocals and everything. Not as good as the original but interesting nonetheless.

Gamilah Shabazz
America’s Living In A War Zone (Street Mix)
Gamilah Shabazz is Malcolm X’s daughter. In the world of hip-hop street cred that makes her the queen. Surprising that she never recorded more.

Naughty By Nature
Hip Hop Hooray (Sunship Groove Mix)
Hip Hop Hooray (Sunship Club Mix)
Hip Hop Hooray (Extended Mix)
It’s not “OPP” but I work with what I can find. I’m pretty sure this track begins with a sample of Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer”, making it the second rap track I know of that uses it (the first being “Pop Goes The Weasel” by 3rd Bass) what is it with hip hop and members of Genesis? Is it only a matter of time before Redman takes some riffs off of Mike + The Mechanics? I’m sure there’s something to be found in “All I Need Is A Miracle”.

2 Live Crew
Me So Horny
Get The Fuck Out Of My House (Nasty Acid Mix)
Get The Fuck Out Of My House (Nasty Piano Mix)
You probably remember when 2 Live Crew got busted for obscenity in Florida, but did you know the person behind that conviction was everyone’s favorite video game hating assface Jack Thompson? What a fucking party pooper. He also got the FCC to fine a DJ for playing Elvis Montello’s “Jet Boy/Jet Girl” – a song that will end up on this blog someday. Anyways, these remixes come off the single for “Me So Horny”. Actually the first one isn’t a remix – it’s just a real good song that I felt like sharing. Funny note: the disclaimer for this Lp reads “Unathorized duplication will get you messed up by The Ghetto Style D.J’s”.

Fuck I better watch out.

Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five
Magic Carpet Ride (Chep-O-Matic Mix)
You know how every concert has at least one asshole that yells “Freebird”? Well, I tried changing that a few years ago by yelling “Magic Carpet Ride.” Didn’t catch on. If I would have seen Grandmaster Flash it might’ve actually worked though, who knew?

Digital Underground
The Humpty Dance (Bonus Hump Mix)
The Humpty Dance (Humpstrumental Mix)
Do the humpty. I got nothing to add to that other than that “Humpstrumental” is probably the greatest word ever in the history of all things since the dawn of time.

The Gap Band
I’m Gonna Git You Sucka (Extended Version)
I’m Gonna Git You Sucka (Sugar Shack Version)
Best movie ever made. When I was 10 I had a promotional “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka” t-shirt. Kids made fun of me for it. Kids are fuckers, I had better taste than those pricks.

DJ Kool
Let Me Clear My Throat (Bonus Mix)
Let Me Clear My Throat (Rough And Raw)
AKA The Song From The Ed Lover Dance. Although that’s really not true, it just samples the song that’s actually The Ed Lover Dance song. And actually that song samples something else…confusing. Anyways, these remixes are great and the rough and raw one is a sweet bootleg-like remix that removes all the effects and just leaves the raw vocals. It has great potential for bootleg mixers.

Tonight’s the first night I try my new webhosting service, let’s see how it holds up. A quick tip for all you aspiring MP3 bloggers out there, never use a .mac account to host your files, it’s a total fucking rip-off. I am literally getting 10 times the bandwidth and features at one-fourth the price with my new service (I’m not plugging them until I am sure they don’t suck).

Taking a Bowie Break for now, just some random stuff tonight. I have a big post planned for Friday night since I’ll be busy next week with Christmas (oh joy) those hoping for a big holiday themed post are probably going to be horribly disappointed. However, if you like to kick it old-school you’ll be in heaven…

Madonna
Express Yourself (Non-Stop Express Mix)
Express Yourself (Local Mix)
Open Your Heart (Extended Version)
Okay, so “Express Yourself” is a great song about female empowerment (portrayed in the video via crotch-grabbing in a Fritz Lang-like future) and we all get that. “Open Your Heart” is supposedly a cutesy love song right? Wrong, it’s a song about a psychotic stalker who’s tale of obsession and demented love can only end in murder! Check the lyrics:

Watch out!

Boom, right off the bat, a warning.

I see you on the street and you walk on by
You make me wanna hang my head down and cry

So it starts out tame, she loves a dude who doesn’t know about her (the one guy that didn’t know about Madonna in 1986)

But….he doesn’t even know you, how can he give you a chance? Have you tried introducing yourself to him? Maybe getting a cup of coffee?

Ive had to work much harder than this
For something I want don’t try to resist me

Okay, now we’re into stalker territory. Imagine a guy saying this to a chick, can you say restraining order? I’ve managed to creep out girls with things nowhere near as creepy as this.

I think that you’re afraid to look in my eyes
You look a little sad boy, I wonder why

A. He doesn’t walk to look in your eyes because you’re obviously batshit crazy.
B. He’s sad because he can’t sleep at night and is constantly looking over his shoulder, afraid that a crazy broad in a corset and a traffic-cone bra will kill him!

I follow you around but you cant see
Youre too wrapped up in yourself to notice
So you choose to look the other way
Well, Ive got something to say

Still think I’m reading too much into it? This dude is the victim of an obsessive stalker, an obsessive stalker who doesn’t think that much of her victim, considering that she sees him as self-centered.

Don’t try to run I can keep up with you
Nothing can stop me from trying, you’ve got to

Ack! Dude get in your car and just keep driving, there’s an obsessive marathon runner after you.

Now with that interpretation of the lyrics in mind think about the chorus:

Open your heart to me, baby
I hold the lock and you hold the key
Open your heart to me, darlin
Ill give you love if you, you turn the key

She obviously wants to catch the dude and cut his heart out with a knife (her “key”). This is a fucking episode of CSI just waiting to happen man! Someone should tell Guy Ritchie to watch the fuck out.

Roni Size/Reprazent
Brown Paper Bag (Roni Size Sound Is The Music Remix)
Brown Paper Bag (Photek Remix)
This is one of my all-time favorite tracks. Sometimes I’ll be walking down the street and out of nowhere just start saying “Step to the rhythm made out of brown paper”. People stare at me a lot.

Talking Heads
Houses In Motion (Special Remix)
Houses In Motion (Live)
These two versions of this tragically underheard Talking Heads song came off of a strange import 12” I picked up last week. On it there’s a sticker that says “Expect To Pay around £1.05.” That’s an odd disclaimer to make don’t you think? They couldn’t have been exact? I paid five bucks for it. Man, the U.S. dollar really is worth shit nowadays.

Raven
Gimme Some Lovin’ (Extended Dance Version)
Raven was a mediocre British heavy metal band. “Gimme Some Lovin'” is Steve Winwood’s magnum opus (sorry Traffic fans but it’s true) combine the two and you get…this. Seriously, this is one of the worst songs I’ve ever uploaded, but I had to because it’s just so amazingly awesomely awful that it has to be heard.

Everything is back to normal for now. That response to that last post was huge and I got more hits in 24 hours then I ever have before. What pushed it over the top was a link from an Italian David Bowie fansite. Who knew?

Anyways, I just purchased some web hosting space tonight and I’ll by trying it out with my next post. The amount of transfer space I get is vast improvement, well just see how reliable they are.

Until then here’s some more Bowie.

In the late 80s Rykodisc got the rights to Bowie’s catalog and re-released nearly everything he had put out at that point in new editions with bonus tracks. When EMI (I think that’s who it is now) got the rights to release Bowie’s CDs they took out all those special tracks, so if you have a Rykodisc release of a Bowie album consider yourself lucky. Aside from checking for the Rykodisc label on the case, you can tell if it is a Rykodisc release if the case itself is tinged green, that’s their thing. Here are the bonus tracks from the few Rykodisc releases I have, separated by the album they appeared on.

Lodger
I Pray Ole
Look Back In Anger (1988 Version)

Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps)
Space Oddity (Acoustic Version)
Panic In Detroit (this is the same version that’s on the bonus disc of Heathen – I used the file from that album for complex technical reasons, but it’s the same song I promise).
Alabama Song (yes, it’s the “whiskey bar” song)
Crystal Japan

Station To Station
Word On A Wing (Live)
Stay (Live)

I had a feeling this would happen. I broke my bandwidth and as such everything is down right now. Thankfully it renews on the 16th, so it should be back in a few hours. Until then everyone hold tight!

Anyone out there like these Bowie posts? I’m surprised that neither of them got any comments. Anyways, here’s the last of the stuff from the Bowie Box Set, I should be putting up more random Bowie stuff tomorrow and Saturday though.

Reality
Waterloo Sunset
Fly
Rebel Never Gets Old
Love Missle F1 Eleven
The latest album in Bowie’s massive overture was Reality, and it proved that Heathen was no one-off return to form. Reality is Bowie at his best, incorporating much of what’s made him great over the past 40 or so years and tweaking it ever so slightly to sound new and fresh. When I finally got to see Bowie live it was during the Reality tour and he blew me (and everyone else in the audience) away, playing at a near-manic energy for close to three hours. Between this amazing album and that incredible show I cannot wait for his next release. Bowie is God.

These tracks from the bonus disc for Reality off of the box set are a little random. First there’s a cover of The Kinks’ “Waterloo Sunset.” Good tune, good cover, although I strangely think that Def Leppard did a better job with the song on their cover album. Next is the b-side Fly. Many of the B-sides from Heathen and Reality were reworked tracks from Bowie’s unreleased album Toy, I don’t know if “Fly” is one of those – good song though. “Rebel Never Gets Old” is a mash-up mix that combines the classic “Rebel Rebel” with the should-have-been-hit-single “Never Get Old” from Reality. They’re two great tastes that go great together. Finally there is a cover of Sigue Sigue Sputnik’s “Love Missle F1 Eleven.” If I ever get a chance to interview David Bowie the first question I’m going to ask him is why the hell he chose to cover this song. I don’t know if I care to know the answer though, because all I need to know is that the original kicks ass and so does his take on it.

I planned on posting even more Bowie goodies tonight but I’m getting close to my bandwidth limit so I need to spread things out a bit. I’m still looking for a good solution to my bandwidth woes. Right now I get 300GB a month and I usually use about 275-290 of that – so it won’t be long until I have to start cutting back on the amount of files I post. I really don’t want to do that! If anyone knows of a good cheap provider let me know. And if someone recommends a service like Rapidshare or Megaupload I will hunt you down and smite you.

Hours
The Pretty Things Are Going To Hell (Stigmata Film Only Version)
1917
We Shall Go To Town
We All Go Through
No-One Calls
This album is kind of “meh” to me. For every song I love on it there’s another I can’t stand. “Thursday’s Child” is one of Bowie’s worst to me, and I’m also not a real big fan of “Survive” and “Seven”. However, I can never get enough of “The Dreamers”, “New Angels Of Promise” and “The Pretty Things Are Going To Hell” which I think was Bowie’s best rocker since “Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps).” This version of “Pretty Things…” is not the one that’s on the soundtrack to Stigmata, its the one that is in the actual movie. Very fast-paced, very-jungle, probably was a version left over from the Earthling sessions. The rest of the tracks I’m including are B-sides. There’s some stuff from Omikron on the disc as well, and I might put that up later.

Heathen
Wood Jackson
When The Boys Come Marching Home
Baby Loves That Way
You’ve Got A Habit Of Leaving
Safe
Shadow Man
Of all the albums featured in the box set this one is my favorite. The dark, somber tone of the album works great and creates a great mood never comes off as boring (something that much of Bowie’s latter-day ballads have sadly done). “Sunday”, “Slow Burn” and “A Better Future” are all stand-out cuts. The covers of “I’ve Been Waiting For You” and The Pixies’ “Cactus” are good too.

The bonus disc for Heathen is the best of the box too if you’re looking for original recordings. Only three of the ten tracks are remixes and the rest are entirely new (or newly recorded) tracks. I put up all of the B-sides, the remixes are kind of bland. Most of the B-sides are good, and “Safe” is so good that I can’t figure out why it was cut off the album.

So there’s a new David Bowie box set out, with the rather ingenious title of “David Bowie Box Set.” Surprisingly enough this is the first David Bowie album to include several complete albums. This best-of box sets were just extended Greatest Hits compilations, and Sound + Vision was a disastrous combination of rarities and album-cuts that made no sense.

So for his first box set does he focus on his 70s Glam Rock heyday? No. Does he re-visit the fabled Berlin Trilogy with bonus tracks and B-sides? Nope. What about his superstar high-profile/low-talent period in the 80s? That area is skipped too.

No, for Bowie’s first true box set he chose to re-release his work from 1995-2003, including several remixes, B-sides and previously unreleased and hard-to-find tracks from that time period.

That’s five complete albums, each of which include their own bonus disc of remixes, b-sides and other assorted goodies. Today I’ll be talking about and posting tracks from the first two albums and I’ll finish up later this week with the last three.

Experts From Outside: The Nathan Adler Diaries – A Hyper Cycle
Hallo Spaceboy (12″ Remix)
I’m Deranged (Jungle Mix)
Get Real
Nothing To Be Desired
First of all check out that name. When this album first came out in 1995 it was just called 1. Outside. The #1 implied that a sequel was coming. But I guess disappointing album sales and a less-than-outstanding critical reception nicked those plans in the butt. Despite the rather lengthy new title the original album remains in-tact, nothing has been cut or removed to justify the “Experts” part of the title. I still enjoy Outside, even with all it’s flaws (it’s way to damn long and the segues are just stupid).

The bonus disc includes 14 tracks and I’m putting up four. I’m not including any of the various remixes of “The Hearts Filthy Lesson” because I already put them up a few months ago. The 12” Remix of “Hallo Spaceboy” is a variation of the version with the Pet Shop Boys. The “I’m Deranged” mix should be a real treat for hardcore Bowie fans since it was so damn hard to find before this.

The two other tracks are B-sides. “Get Real” is good and “Nothing To Be Desired” is amazing.

Earthling
Dead Man Walking (Moby Mix 1)
Telling Lies (Paradox Mix)
I’m Afraid of Americans (Show Girls OST Version)
David Bowie followed up Outside with this jungle-infused experiment that really proved to be a hit-or-miss affair. On one had it featured awesome tunes like “Dead Man Walking”, “Seven Years In Tibet” and the hit “I’m Afraid Of Americans” but on the other it included “Little Wonder” and “The Last Thing You Should Do” – two of my all-time most-hated David Bowie tracks.

Unfortunately the former is represented three times over on the bonus disc, but the two Moby mixes of “Dead Man Walking” almost make up for that. Several remixes of “Seven Years In Tibet”, “I’m Afraid Of Americans” and “Telling Lies” make up most of the disc. A lot of the stuff on this disc is also on an EP I’m posting later this week so if you like Earthling then keep tuned because you’ll be in heaven later. The remix of “I’m Afraid Of Americans” is vastly different than the album version and kind of sounds like a demo – it’s bitchin’.