Scott Plagenhoef Is a Little Bitch. He’s Not Invited to my Synthpop House Party

The only thing that pisses me off more than sub-human radio DJs is shitty writing.

Anyone else loving the shit that Pitchfork is getting for their bullshit review of The Black Kids’ debut LP? I sure as hell am. I’ve previously slammed the elitist music site for their pretentious “writing” and it’s great to see that others are beginning to take notice of their douchebag ways.

Like I said before, I don’t care if they, or anybody else for that matter, hates an album. Hate all you want! We all know I’m a hateful asshole! But if you’re going to call yourself a music critic then you should have the balls to back up your opinion. That’s what being a critic means! Way to be a bunch of lazy assholes. If you don’t want to put forth the effort to actually write and back up your opinion then you don’t deserve to be a music critic. I know dozens of people that would kill for the chance to get paid to write about music.

This “review” is also insulting because it implies that without Pitchfork The Black Kids wouldn’t exist in the first place. I know Pitchfork is a powerful force in the world of online music magazines, but get over yourself already. And if you’re really solely responsible for the rise of The Black Kids and you feel as if you’ve made a grievous error in doing so then we deserve a better apology than a dog version of LOLcats.

And while I’m on that topic, ever notice that Pitchfork’s “joke” reviews seem to draw from internet fads that hae already come and gone 10 times over? As I said before that video of the monkey drinking it’s own piss that they used for the Jet review is only about five minutes older than the internet itself.

I highly doubt anyone at Pitchfork reads my dinky little blog, but just in case they do I’ve also prepared a criticial analysis of their site specially for them, “written” in their language:

(Image stolen from

Men Without Hats
Moonbeam (Extended Vocal Version)
Dub Beam
Moonbeam (House Is A Home Mix)
Moonbeam (Bacc-A-Apella/Vocal)
I wonder what Pitchfork would say about Men Without Hats? They’d probably love them becuase they’re from Montreal. Think about it, you can totally hear the Men Without Hats influences in Arcade Fire. These tracks are from a 12” single. And this song kicks total ass by the way.

Art Of Noise
Yebo! (Club Mix)
Yebo! (Underground Mix)
Yebo! (Mbaganga Mix)
I’m surprised at myself for not featuring more Art Of Noise tracks. All I’ve put up so far was been their more gimmicky work including that song with Max Headroom and their awful remake of the theme to Dragnet. I got some more Art Of Noise but I’m going to have to re-record them because they sound like shit. “Yebo!” isn’t one of the group’s more well-known singles, but I like it. I think it’s one of the better world music/electronica combinations.

Depeche Mode
Master And Servant (U.S. Black & Blue Version)
(Set Me Free) Remotivate Me
Are People People?
The Meaning Of Love (Fairly Odd Mix)
Oberkorn (It’s A Small Town) (Development Mix)
Only about 60 or so more Depeche Mode remixes/b-sides and then I’m done. It’s going to be a long couple of months. These are from some 12” singles. You can find out which ones by downloading them.

11 Responses to “Scott Plagenhoef Is a Little Bitch. He’s Not Invited to my Synthpop House Party”

  1. Anonymous says:

    you wanna know the best thing about you? you continue to hate and yet you continue to give us great tunes while doing it! i LOVE that about you, so thanks! 🙂 every day i wonder who’s gonna get the bucket of hate and what tunes will rain down on me because of it!

    a tart (and fellow hater)

  2. Loyal Reader says:

    Thank you for an amazing entry-
    the mp3s are great too.

  3. Ctelblog says:

    Another hilarious post. Thank you.

  4. m says:

    the opposite of pitchfork-

  5. Anonymous says:

    Great post today. Men Without Hats….that takes me back. I have never heard these mixes, but they are great. Please post more MWH!!!

  6. george says:

    i agree x a jillion!

  7. scarter says:

    Those bouncy Art of Noise tracks are fun. Thanks for posting them.

  8. Amo ergo sum says:


    Great blog with a tad of humour and great music! Thanks a lot!

    I added you to my list of music blogs at: .

    Please feel free to do the same or comment when you want to publish more information about your blog on my site.

    cheers and best of luck,


  9. Anonymous says:

    You hit the nail on the head bro.

    Pitchfork = elitist pricks.

    Screw pitchfork! What a bunch of douchebags…

  10. Anonymous says:

    Ellitist douchebags, perhaps. But that doesn’t change the fact that Black Kids actually do kinda suck… sorry, gotta say it. Come 2010, you’ll NEVER pull that CD or mp3 out ever again.

  11. mjvisme says:

    I’m sorry dude, but I find it irritating that the Black Kids put out an LP of mostly re-recorded stuff from their earlier EP. Not only that, but the new recordings are missing the energy and fun of the original stuff. Also, you basically bagged out on the fact that P4K gave high marks to the earlier EP.

    I don’t usually respond to blogs. Personally I find that unfiltered, unedited opinions are often poor ones. I linked up through HM to find some old Art of Noise tracks. Thank you for that.

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