Manute Boll Is Banging Bill Gates’ Mom

I’m in a shit mood, and if you’ve been reading my blog on a regular basis throughout the years you know that means one thing; industrial music – actually tonight it’s more like hardcore techno/rave but whatever, it’s still not happy music. If you want to know why I’m in a shit mood read on, but if you just want to get to the music and don’t give a shit about the trials and tribulations of an angry twentysomething in Pittsburgh, then just scroll down for a bit.

This shit is vulgar. You’ve been warned.

So in February by Xbox360 broke. It didn’t get the dreaded “Red Ring Of Death” (RRoD) instead it just started giving me disc read errors. I had just bought Mass Effect so it was a real pain in the ass. I called tech support (lovely Indian people) and explained the problem. They told me that since my Xbox was 3 months past warranty it would cost me a hundred bucks to get it fixed. I was pissed, and I was even more pissed because I knew that if my 360 had gotten the RRoD it would have still been covered under warranty. My Xbox broke the “wrong” way it seemed and I was fucked.

I bitched and complained to various people, eventually getting an American (shocking!) and that condescending little prick said that he could knock down the cost to 50 bucks and that was all he could do. I reluctantly agreed, knowing that it was the best deal I could get. I sent the system out, waited a few weeks, and it eventually came back in full working order.

Or so I thought. That was a little over three months ago and my system has broken AGAIN. This time I’m getting a “general system error” still not an RRoD but the end result is the same, my 360 is a giant paperweight. When my system broke the first time I told the shithead pricks that I had read that disc read errors were indicative of another problem, and he said they weren’t. Well, now look where we are three months later. Now I have to send my fucking 360 out again to their “repair” facility, where I’m assuming retarded monkeys fling feces at broken Xbox systems all day.

What a bunch of shitfaced cocksucking motherfuckers. Microsoft literally ripped me off for 50 bucks. I paid to get it fixed and they didn’t fix it. I asked for a refund of my 50 bucks, since their original repair really didn’t do much of anything and they told me in as many words to get fucked. Of course, my story isn’t unique, thousands of Xbox users have had the same problem, and yet Microsoft still says that their is no widespread system problem other than the RRoDs.

Fuck that shit. Fuck Microsoft. Fucking assholes are a bunch of cheapskate cockmongers who cut costs on an overpriced piece of shit video game system so they could increase their margins. Their neverending desire to break it off and stick in their collective customer base seems to have paid off, as the fucking pricks just finally managed to turn a profit on that giant white turd this year.

I’d love to track down Bill Gates and jam my broken Xbox up his ass.

Buy a Wii.

Ah, that felt good.

The Prodigy
Hot Ride (El Batori Mix 1)
Hot Ride (El Batori Mix 2)
To be honest when The Prodigy was popular the first time around I pretty much hated their guts. I don’t know why. Yeah, they’re kind of stupid, repetitive and lacking real artistic merit but so was every other Big Beat act at the time and I loved most of them (my love affair with Fatboy Slim is still ongoing actually) so maybe I was just in a real shit mood when I first heard Firestarter. More likely I was just real sick of that damn song after a while and took it out on the rest of them. I didn’t actually start to like the band until I borrowed their Greatest Hits from a friend after hearing this track (which features Strange Days star Juliette Lewis). Since then I’ve becoming much more tolerant of them. These two remixes come from a 12” white label promo. The song itself probably features the strangest sample of a Fifth Dimension song ever. This isn’t their best track with Juliette though, if you like her voice I highly suggest checking out Spitfire, a bad-ass techno track that’ll leave you wanting to punch in some heads.

Sheep On Drugs
Motorbike (12” Version)
Track X (12” Version)
Acid Test (12” Version)
Drug Music (12” Version)
I would have gone for the name Ovides On Ludes, but that’s just me.

This is stupid techno. They sound kind of like My Life With The TKK if they took away all the sex references and replaced them with drug ones. It’s kind of charming in a sad, 40-year-old stoner kind of way. These guys look like total douchenozzles (and the guy on the left looks strangely like one of my old roommates).

Killing Joke
Pandemonium (Waxworth Industries Mix)
Pandemonium (Cybersank Extended Remix)
Pandemonium (Dragonfly Mix)
Pandemonium (Nu-clear Shredded Fibres Mix)
I never have anything to say about these guys other than the fact that I like them. Enjoy.

4 Responses to “Manute Boll Is Banging Bill Gates’ Mom”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Nice read – feel your pain – Ummmm did you buy your 360 with a credit card? If so check fine print for warrantys of credit card purchases agreement or look on line at your credit card website – you might have doubled your warranty just by buying the 360 with the credit card. I hope this might help. Thanks for the awesome tunes tooooo.


  2. Anonymous says:

    any chance you can repost The Cure tunes

  3. Anonymous says:

    the strange thing is that i always had the best customer support with the original xbox. anytime something failed, they sent me a stamped box so i could send it to them. i never paid a dime.

    what sucks about your situation is that the warranty is only 3 months!?!! wow – a company should have more confidence in its high-end products.

    oh, and keep the great tunes coming!

  4. Anonymous says:

    Cool Prodigy mixes!
    You mentioned Spitfire and I agree, that is, by far, my favorite of their tracks!
    I know a DJ in New England did a badass mash-up of Spitfire with Lil’ Mama’s Lipgloss that fits together much better than expected!

    He has it posted on myspace

    check it out!
    and thanks for all the great music!

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