Funky Drummer and Bad Madonna

Okay, I lied. I’m going to keep trying to get my old Twitter account back, I have a few more tricks up my sleeves. I know what you’re thinking, “James, you swore off Twitter a few months ago, why do you care that your account is gone?”

Well, for a few reasons. One, while I did severely cut back on my tweet activity as of late, it’s still a good way for me to keep in contact with a few people I like to know about. It’s also an excellent resource to find out about record sales. Additionally, let’s just be honest, having an account with close to a thousand followers is a decent method of self-promotion. I’ve never been shy to the fact that I desperately want people to read my shit.

Also, for me to get banned for “targeted abuse” while David motherfucking Duke still has account where he tweets out antisemitic bullshit literally every day is a fucking hypocrisy that I’m against on basic principle.

Anyways, I’m still trying out some options on my end, and may require your assistance at some point. In the meantime, if anyone has any ideas that might help, please share!

Now, for a change, pop music.

Sheila E.
KooKoo (Remix)
Paradise Gardens (Extended Version)
Sheila E. has a new album out! I haven’t bought it yet as I found out about it only 20 minutes ago, but from what I gleamed on YouTube, it’s funky as a motherfunker and sounds pretty rad. Check it out if you can.

Also check out these dope vintage Sheila E. remixes I scored…shit, where/when did I buy this? Did this just show up at my apartment someday? Is that what it’s come to? Are wayward 12″ singles just somehow becoming self-aware and making their way to my place because they know they’ll have a safe home here?

Seriously, I have no idea where I got this.

American Pie (Victor Calderone Filter Dub Mix)
American Pie (Victor Calderone Vocal Dub Mix)
American Pie (Richard Humpty Vission Visit Madonna)
American Pie (Richard Humpty Vission Radio Mix)
American Pie (Victor Calderone Vocal Club Mix)
American Pie (Victor Calderone Extended Vocal Club Mix)
If there was ever a sign that a completionist attitude is a mistake that can only lead to suffering, it’s the fact that I own not one, but three different 12″ singles of Madonna’s “American Pie,” solely because I want to own as much Madonna as inhumanly possible.

I hate the original version of this song. I’m sorry, I just do. And Madonna’s version is just infinitely worse. You know what doesn’t need to be remade into an upbeat dance track? The song about that time those famous rock and roll stars died tragically at very young ages.

I’m sharing these in the same sense of completionism that I bought them. I’m sure there’s someone out there who wants them just for the sake of wanting them. I’m here for you dude.

In case you’re wondering if any of these remixes are actually good, well it’s hard to say since the original is so bad. But the “Richard Humpty Vission Radio Mix” and the “Victor Calderone Vocal” mixes are decent as they actually resemble the original track to some degree. The others are just bland house tracks with the occasional Madonna vocal sample.

4 Responses to “Funky Drummer and Bad Madonna”

  1. The Sheila E. stuff isn’t downloadable; I don’t know why.

    Two of the Madonna downloads appear as just one, I think it was the Victor Calderone Vocal Dub Mix and the Vicotor Calderone Extended Vocal Club Mix.

    Keep up the good work, and good luck with Twitter!

  2. Bunny says:

    Thank you for the Sheila E. mixes! Lovely to hear. And I agree about American Pie. I feel like it might be heresy to say it but I’m a bit ambivalent to Madonna’s William Orbit songs – except maybe Ray Of Light itself. I realise I’m in a minority but I prefer Music and American Life. Her Mirwais songs feel (to me) at least like organic collaborations rather than the “music by the yard” that William Orbit offered her. I’m sure it’s very soothing and everyone can sing along on the school run but no one’s ever going to leave their place in the queue for the bar and race down to the dance floor to bust a move to American Pie. Complete-ism is one of the suckiest parts of fandom.

  3. Drain says:

    Well… I wouldn’t say that being a completionist can lead to suffering but only in the case where you know an artist you love did crap songs… that’s where you’ll find the suffering. Myself, I’m a completionist for MSI, NIN, Smashing Pumpkins, Rammstein, ATR and Ministry… and of those bands, I know Ministry released some crap singles during the last 15years which will definitely lead me to some suffering there haha.

    Also… Damn the man, Save your Twitter!

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