Tales of Synthpop and Homeless Fat-Shaming from Canada


I didn’t update this blog at all last week, did I?

It’s not my fault! I was in Canada. Blame Canada! (That South Park reference was entirely unintentional I swear.)

But what the hell was I doing in Canada, you ask?

Well, funny story…I’m not going to tell it. It’s top secret. But I will share with you some songs off of crazy weird CD singles that I bought whilst in the land of the rising moose.

Gary Numan
This Wreckage (Metalmorphosis Mix)
Are ‘Friends’ Electric? (Metalmorphosis Mix)
Toronto isn’t really my kind of city. The traffic is hellacious, and despite their “oh, we’re just a bunch of nice people in denim that love hockey, eh?” reputation, big city Canadians are just as dickish as their American counterparts. Example: while I was walking around the city looking for record stores, a homeless guy asked me for some change. Not having any Canadian money on me, let alone change, I walked on by, at which point he said “hey,why you so fat?”

That, of course, led me into a yelling match with a homeless guy, because I’m classy like that, that ended with me saying something along the lines of “yeah, I got this way by eating food! I can buy food because I have money. And since I have money I’M NOT FUCKING HOMELESS YOU HOSER!”

Sure, that might not have been one of my finer moments, but seriously, fuck that dude.

Oh yeah, these remixes are from a CD-single to “Rip.” I like most of the industrial remixes of early-era Numan, so I dig these.

New Order
Crystal [Digweed & Muir Bedrock Radio Edit]
Behind Closed Doors
Someone Like You (Funk D’Void Remix)
So after my lovely confrontation with the smelly homeless man in a Blue Jays jacket (hah, Blue Jays) I ducked into a bar, lured in by the promise of half price wings. The wings were good. The bloody marys were better. The place was pretty dead, so I got into a conversation with the bartender. The bar was playing some pretty rad funk (lots of George Clinton and Morris Day) and I commented on the quality of the radio station. She said, “yeah, you can tell it’s satellite and not a Canadian station.”

I know that Canadian stations have some “Canadian content” laws, meaning that a certain percentage of the music they play must be Canadian. So I asked, “Oh? Not a lot of good funk from Canada?”

To which she replied, “You ever hear of ‘Canadian funk?'”

Point taken.

These are from some CD singles that I also found in Canada. I may have posted the “Funk D’Void” mix at some point, but this copy sounds better.

3 Responses to “Tales of Synthpop and Homeless Fat-Shaming from Canada”

  1. Grebo says:

    Judging Canada based on Toronto is like judging the United States based on Florida.
    At the least I hope you managed to find some of the AMAZING record stores scattered throughout the city, there are some gems out there!!

  2. Mifimusic says:

    Being from Toronto, I’d love to know the names of some of the places you went to. Toronto used to have a ton of cool record stores and then HMV and the digital age wiped out most of them. In recent years, they have resurfaced because the kids love their vinyl. Most of the legendary ones are gone except for Rotate This on Queen Street which still rules. What was the name of that bar?


  3. Deke DaSilva says:

    Canadian funk?

    That was the smell of the homeless guy!

Leave a Reply