I AM PREDICTING A HEADACHE

SPOILER I’M DRUNK

Let’s talk about things that suck.

These are some of the things that I think suck the most

  • Imagine Dragons
  • “Men’s Rights” Advocates
  • Whatever the fuck Amanda Bynes is doing to herself
  • APRIL
  • The random painful red bump on my face that showed up out of nowhere yesterday
  • Mean parents
  • Assholes
  • APRIL
  • Geo-political situations keeping you from people you love
  • People who don’t like kittens
  • The inability to prove yourself as a writer
  • Hardees’
  • APRIL
  • Dropping food in the dark
  • Scott Miller dying
  • No one caring about shit you care about
  • Ohio
  • APRIL
  • The Inevitable Heat Death Of The Universe
  • Throwing your back out
  • The fact that Eve 6 still exists and making music
  • Chris Brown
  • The fact that no one has murdered Chris Brown
  • Seriously, fuck Chris Brown
  • Amanda Palmer
  • The death of “longform” writing

So much shit that sucks! It’s everywhere. The world sucks all around you! How do you combat it?

You combat it by focusing on shit that doesn’t suck! What doesn’t suck?

  • Whiskey
  • People who love you
  • Pizza
  • Whiskey
  • Records
  • Movies about ninjas
  • That Crosby Stills and Nash song with all the doots
  • Playing “This Corrosion” by Sisters Of Mercy alone in your room and rocking out like a monkey on mescaline
  • Pictures of kittens in shoes
  • Movies about breakdancing
  • Adorable nephews
  • Monkeys
  • Hypothetical movies about breakdancing ninjas. Okay, real talk for a second. How come no one has made a movie about a breakdancing ninja I would watch the shit out of that shit.
  • Awesome people who pick fights with misogynists, sexists and racists because its fun to fuck with them
  • Walter Hill movies from 1977 to 1984
  • Months that aren’t April, because fuck April
  • Whiskey

Seriously, you gotta focus on the positive and non-suckage of life (and/or drink lots) or it’s all gonna bring you down. And fuck that shit for bringing you down. You’re better than that bullshit! Be awesome! You’re awesome aren’t you? Well then fuck that shit! Go be awesome! I am so awesome. Holy shit. It’s like, woah, how awesome I am.

Yo! Here’s some awesome music to help you be awesome and crush  the evil powers of suck. Rock this shit like He-Man rocked the power of Greyskull.

Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Born To Run (Live)
Are you ready for some indisputable facts? Cuz you’re gonna get some.

FACT:  Frankie Goes To Hollywood is awesome.
FACT: Born to Run is awesome
DOUBLEFACT: Frankie Goes To Hollywood covering Born To Run is mega-awesome awesome.

Underworld
Underneath The Radar (12″ Remix)
More bold  facts for you. Underworld was an  awesome synthpop band before they were an awesome electronic band.  I posted this eons ago but that rip was less than awesome. I re-recorded it today. Now it has awesome.

Yukihiro Takahashi
Kid-Nap, The Dreamer
I-Kasu!
Japan is the most awesomest place on Earth and this is a fact. Yukihiro Takahashi (which I spell right despite being HAMMERED so I’m proud of myself) is in Yellow Magic Orchestra, a synthpop band from Japan. Since synthpop is awesome and Japan is mega-awesome then YMO is like, so fucking awesome that there aren’t even words.

Takahashi’s solo work, while not as awesome as YMO, is still pretty damn awesome. This is a crazy track, cuz it’s like synth-ska. Hard to explain, but it sounds like a Specials song put through a moog.

(Kid-Nap and I Kasu! are two tracks, but really one long song, so I call them one song because that’s just easier)

BIG AUDIO DYNAMITE II
RUSH (12″ mix)
THE MOST AWESOME

4 Responses to “I AM PREDICTING A HEADACHE”

  1. Dr. Clysmok says:

    Any chance of you posting “Show Some Emotion” from that Underworld 12″? For completion’s sake? That was the reason I bought that 12″.

  2. Lost Turntable says:

    My 12″ doesnt have that track. Sorry.

  3. Drain says:

    that’s a long list of things that suck, but nice to see i’m not the only one who put Amanda Palmer on a “shit that sucks” list lol.

  4. Luca says:

    This post was awesome. But don’t do that again. Because I fear that being awesome and being drunk at the same time could be bad for your health. And we, your readers, need you to be awesome and good as your usual self. And not (too much) angry.
    Cheers from Italy.
    Luca

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