Taking my Lack of Talent to South Beach

This will most likely be my only post for the week. Barring any further disruption (…long story) I will be heading to Miami this Thursday for the Ultra Music Festival to see Duran Duran, Underworld, Hybrid, Pendulum, Erasure, Royksopp, Ed Rush & Optical, The Chemical Brothers and about a billion other electronic acts.

I’m getting to South Beach on Thursday afternoon. The concert, however, does not start until Friday afternoon, so if anyone out there has any entertainment recommendations for someone who does not like to go to clubs, get shitfaced and have creepy anonymous sex with an equally shitfaced stranger, please let me know. I don’t have high hopes though, as that appears to be all there is to do in Maimi from what I’ve heard. Well, that and betray Ohio. Oh snap!

Anyways, musics!

Portishead Remixes
Something For Kate – Easy (Portishead Remix)

Earthling – 1st Transmission (Earthead) Portishead Remix)
Primal Scream – Give Out But Don’t Give Up (Portishead Remix)

Ride – Moonlight Medicine (Portishead Remix)
Machine Gun Fellatio – Horny Blonde (Portishead Remix)
I know very little, and in some case nothing, about any of these bands. I got these tracks off of a bootleg vinyl compilation called Portishead Remixes. In case you can’t tell from that incredibly creative title, it is a collection of remixes by Portishead. I love their remixes, because they somehow have the ability to take any track, no matter what the genre, and turn it into a Portishead song. Heavy metal, house, alt-rock, whatever, they Portishead the fuck out of it. Did I just make “Portishead” a verb? If you got a problem with that I will Propellerhead the shit out of you.

As for the bands, well, like I said, I know very little about them. I can tell you that the Something For Kate track reminds me of Bush in a good way, and that the Ride track reminds me of trippy Oasis, which makes sense since at last one of the dudes in that band ended up in Oasis. The rest, well, really sound like Portishead. Also, Machine Gun Fellatio? Best horrible band name ever.

Simple Simon (You Gotta Rock Hard)
Simple Simon (You Dubba Regard)
Simple Simon (Dub Gotta Rock Hard)
Damn. This is a great track. I really need to get me some more Mantronix. While browsing them on Wikipedia, I noticed that Pitchfork gave the deluxe edition of their self-titled debut an 8.08 out of 10. Well played Pitchfork, well played. (For those who don’t get the joke, click here) These are from a 12″ single.

Talking Heads
The Lady Don’t Mind (Extended Version)
Right now I’m watching Lopez Tonight on mute and fat bald priest is holding a raffle while an old Jewish man dances on a strip pole. I’m never unmuting my television again.

Oh, and this remix of “The Lady Don’t Mind” comes from a 12″ single. See you all next week.

9 Responses to “Taking my Lack of Talent to South Beach”

  1. Homer J from UK says:

    Oh great ‘Simple Simon’-that’s the only Mantronix one i haven’t really heard. Dubba Regard is deffo the best mix. The deluxe edition of ‘Music Madness’ is gr8 but not only does it not have all the mixes of the double vinyl version,the first CD has the NME Mix of ‘Hardcore Hip Hop’-which is superior.
    Also recommended is the supposedly limited edition 12” of ‘Who Is It’ in the red gatefold,the first album,’Got To Have Your Love’ & the DMC Megamix Chad Jackson done. Also some of the tracks done with Joyce Simms-‘Break Away’,’All In All(London Mix)’,’Lifetime Love’ & ‘Come Into My Life(including the Simon Harris Mix)’. Not to 4get their tracks with other artists like ‘Just Ice’ for one example.
    One track that i only seem to hate is ‘King Of The Beats’,anyone else think it’s pants?

  2. Hedmekanik says:

    “Duran Duran, Underworld, Hybrid, Pendulum, Erasure, Royksopp, Ed Rush & Optical, The Chemical Brothers and about a billion other electronic acts.”

    (whimper) You lucky mxxxxxxxxxr.

  3. Brent Kidwell says:

    Hey Lostturntable… Love the site… for years now! Thanks. Any chance that the Portishead album of remixes also includes their Whores Of Babylon – Fall Of Agade (Portishead Remix) as well? I have been searching for that forever. Keep up the awesome work!

  4. Drain says:

    looking through that huge-ass massive list of talent for the UMF…my recommendation would be Baby Anne. if luke slater or plastikman (richie hawtin) were playing there i’d recommend them as well.

  5. acid ted says:

    awesome is indeed the word

  6. David Medsker says:

    Dude, were those Mantronix mixes done by Arthur Baker? That sure sounds like his handiwork.

  7. jake says:

    Mantronix- sounds like dated Beastie Boys

  8. JasonK says:

    I wish I had read this before driving down to Miami. Could have given you some stuff to do that Thursday. I ended up going to Subfocus in the afternoon, Pretty Lights early (830) and then hitting up a Simian Mobile Disco DJ set later.

    Anyways, quick review from me – Erasure was fantastic, Duran Duran so-so, Holy Ghost fucking awesome (thats all I cared about Friday; Pendulum bored the hell out of me, they were way better in 09). Saturday was fantastic from start to finish. Bag Raiders were awesome, Netsky very good, Simian Moble Disco live is always awesome, Boys Noize was freaking fantastic, Cut Copy good (but again not as good as 09), Underworld always great, and then Empire of the Freaking Sun. Holy crap. Blown away. Crappy part was Mr Oizo and The Klaxons were taken off the schedule at some point. Oizo disappeared first. The Klaxons were on the printed schedules but not the stage schedule. Who knows what happened, but those were two acts I really wanted to see .

    Anyways, Sunday was ok. Got there early for my Trouble & Bass guys Drop the Lime and AC Slater, caught Hybrid playing live with an orchestra which was um, awesome. Ed Rush & Optical played some hard stuff. At this point we started getting run down. Stuck around for Fake Blood and when he was a letdown we took off. I had a 4+ hour drive back and staying an extra 4 hours for The Chems was just too much.

  9. JasonK says:

    oh, and I really hope that guy was kidding about Baby Anne.

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