Breakbeats, Bagpipes and Buttheads

I haven’t posted a random rant in a while so for all of you who were missing them…

A message to everyone: If you get an email that you think you absolutely have to share with everyone because it is incredibly funny/important/sad/gross and you forward it to everyone in your address book then you are a fucktard and should donate your computer to charity because you don’t deserve it. In the past 24 hours I got two emails from some stupid wanker I went to college with. He had my email address because we worked together on a project. Actually, that’s not entirely accurate, he was in a group with me in which I and one other dude did all the work. Anyways, this fucking pisser sent me some huge rambling email he got from someone detailing how awful gun control is, using gruesome pictures from violent government oppressions of the past to prove the point. Thanks man. Because the first thing I wanted to see when I woke up in the morning was a picture of a mass grave. After seeing countless pictures of mass graves, executions and assorting nastiness the email ends with this, “American politicians, primarily leftists, attempt to establish gun control, ensuring that only responsible government agencies, such as the police and military, have firearm [sic]” with a picture of Obama. What the fuck does that mean? Obama wants to take our guns so the government can rape our children and shoot us in the back of the head? Fucking twat. I emailed the guy back and told him what a dipshit he was for A) sending me this email and B) the conclusions it drew. He told me, “sorry, I don’t have anything against Obama.”

Sigh. So not only is he a fucking idiot that doesn’t know how to use a fucking computer, he’s a fucking moron that doesn’t understand the fucking retarded messages that he’s fucking spreading via his fucking retarded ways. There was a bonus though, I now know the emails to his friends and family. So if he keeps sending me shit like this I can start having some fun.

The moral of the story is don’t sent out a mass email to a vindicive prick or your parents might start getting spam from S&M sites.

Radiohead vs. SM
Pact Like Sardines In a Crushed Tin Box
This is a strange one. It’s an experimental trance/house remix of a Radiohead song. It’s not like the original was that normal to begin with, stretching it out and adding a backbeat just makes it all the weirder. This is a strange one-sided single, offering no information as to who “SM” is, so any information would be great.

Acid Folk (House Remix)
Acid Folk (Vocal Mix)
Acid Folk (DJ Tom & Norman Remix)
This is a house track that has bagpipes in it. It’s 8.3 times as awesome as you think it is. Every time I listen to it (which has been many times in the past six hours) I think of Braveheart with glowsticks. Also, the guys who made this 12” single were fucking geniuses. They knew the main drawing point of this song was the bagpipes, so the cover is nothing but bagpipes. But they didn’t stop there, they also put a sticker on it that said “The club hit featuring the bagpipe.” That may sound stupid to you at first but think about it. You’re in a club, you hear a song with bagpipes and you’re like “I want that song!” So you go to the record store and then you see an album that has a sticker basically saying “yo, this is that bagpipe song!” I mean it’s not like there were an abundance of bagpipe-heavy house tracks in the mid-90s (were there?) so you wouldn’t be thinking “yeah, but which club hit bagpipe song is this one?”

Rob Base & D.J. E-Z Rock
It Takes Two (Tuff Audio Mix Take 1)
It Takes Two (Tuff Audio Mix Take 2)
Greatest rap single of all time? Discuss. These remixes are from an undated remix 12” single.

7 Responses to “Breakbeats, Bagpipes and Buttheads”

  1. Ctelblog says:

    I think SM were a group that supported Radiohead on tour in 2006

  2. Catherine says:

    “I don’t have anything against Obama, but he IS trying to rape your kids and kill you.”

    *slams head against wall*

  3. The Lost Turntable says:

    Slamming your head against the wall solves nothing. Slam THEIR head against the wall. It’s fun and you’ll get far less headaches that way.

  4. Tommy (Scotsman) says:

    On the bagpipe them, have you heard Bag Style from UK outfit Orbital?

    Discogs has it as a release dated in 1999, but the bagpipes were incorporated into their live act from about 1993 onwards (so was a sample of they synth from Van Halen’s jump).

    Great blog by the way

  5. Anonymous says:

    Finally another GREAT rant. You made me laugh out loud again….and that is hard to do.

    Thank you

    The tunes are good , but your rants are the fucking best.


  6. Dave The Ox says:

    You know, hitting people over the head with information, be it true, false or strongly opinionated, has never made much sense to me. If you agree with it then you like it, if not you’re either scared because you don’t understand everything about it or you’re angry because you disagree with it. All in all, it doesn’t change opinions, it just pushes people’s buttons. No offense dude, but it totally pushed yours, but don’t get me wrong cause I’m on the same page with you. If I NEVER get a stupid-ass e-mail like the one you got AGAIN, I’ll be VERY HAPPY! Unfortunately I think we know how that word never NEVER seems to happen in the way we want it to.

    Anyway, good tunes and rant as always. It’s funny, I’m not an Obama guy (before you say anything I wasn’t a McCain guy either), but I think the aimless finger pointing is just crazy. Here in Ohio I saw enough dumbasses with signs that mentioned how much they hated Obama based either upon the color of his skin or the similarity of the sound of his name to a certain internationally known shithead. I’ve always said that if you’re gonna dislike someone you should do it for legitimate reasons, like they do a crap job or they act like an idiot. Leave race, gender, color, hair length, etc. out of it. So, if Obama screws up good I’ll be glad to note my reasons for displeasure with his existance. Otherwise, I wish him the best.

    Damn, I should start my own blog for the length of this rant. Always good to see you posting dude. Keep it up!

  7. stephen says:

    Can’t stop giggling over “Braveheart with glowsticks.”

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