The Rock And Roll Hall Of Suck

The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame announced this year’s nominees yesterday. There are some noteworthy bands up for it this year, and hopefully the ones that really deserve it (Run DMC, IGGY FUCKING POP) will get in. But even if they do the Rock Hall has a lot of ground to make up in order to become remotely respectable again. Don’t forget, these asshole let The Bee Gees and The Eagles in. Those two bands probably did more to destroy rock and roll than any other band in recent memory. Sure, there are plenty of great bands in the rock hall that deserve to be there, but there are dozens of bands that are not, and even more great acts deserving of the recognition have been snubbed.

Here are some of the more notable exclusions, in alphabetical order:

Bad Brains
Beastie Boys
The Cars
The Cure
Dead Kennedys
Depeche Mode
Joy Division
New Order
New York Dolls
The Replacements
Roxy Music
Stevie Ray Vaughn
Sonic Youth
The Smiths

Okay, if you can prove to me that The Bee Gees did more for rock music than any these bands then congratulations, you are the greatest debater of all time.

David Bowie
Real Cool World (Radio Remix)
Real Cool World (Cool Dub Thing #1)
Real Cool World (12″ Club Mix)
Real Cool World (Cool Dub Overture)
Real Cool World (Cool Dub Thing #2)
I think I’ve made it abundantly clear that I enjoy stupid shit, especially when it comes to movies. I mean, I own Tank Girl (on LaserDisc!) so my film critic validity is pretty strained. That being said, even I think Cool World is a shit movie. It definitely Ralph Bashki’s worst movie (and that’s saying something) although it’s not his fault. Rumor has it that the script was changed without his permission and that he didn’t know about it until shooting began. I’m willing to believe him since it’s far less fucked up than his other films, even with the cartoon/human boning scene. However, the soundtrack is actually totally bitching. It has Moby (way before it was cool to have Moby in a soundtrack) Ministry, Brian Eno, Electronic and even a mix of Sex On Wheelz by My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult. It also has this surprisingly good song by David Bowie, who was just finally starting to dig himself out of his 80s creative nadir. These versions of that track came from a CD single I bought from a video store that no longer exists.

Love Chid Orchestra
Whole Lotta Love
Experiment 4
Bump And Grind
Anyone know anything about these guys? I bought this 12” single because of the sublimely odd cover of “Whole Lotta Love” and while the other two tracks aren’t great – I’ve heard far worse. According the back cover this was produced by “P. Gabriel” but I really doubt it’s Peter. This came out in 1989 and that year he was too busy being totally awesome and playing with stop-motion chickens. How do I know these guys are obscure? As of this writing they have nine plays on, and they’re all by me.

Black Sabbath (Heaven And Hell)
The Devil Cried
Shadow Of The Wind
Ear In The Wall
That’s right bitches. I AM fucking metal. Last month I saw Heaven And Hell live and was struck awe by the power of the Dio. Since then I’ve given their back cataloge a second chance and I have to say that I’ve been pleasantly surprised. As a kid I didn’t like post-Ozzy Sabbath because of the lack of Ozzyness, but listening to them now I have to admit that they are all pretty damn good records (even Dehumanizer). A few weeks ago Rhino released The Rules Of Hell, a box set claiming to have all of Heaven And Hell’s released material. Great in theory, but they are lying to you. The Rules Of Hell does not have these three new tracks that were included on The Dio Years compilation. Download these, buy the box set and Dio your brains out.

11 Responses to “The Rock And Roll Hall Of Suck”

  1. Mike Czech says:

    forgot to say thanks for those Blondie Rapture remixes from the other day… so…


    And now, thanks for that Sabbath!!!

  2. scarter says:

    Re the R&RHoF — that's a judicious list of deserving bands. And no Alice Cooper again this year, either. Phooey.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Love Child Orchestra at discogs:

    – Loritta Grahame on vocals
    – P. Gabriel is Pascal Gabriel

    And … many thanks for one of the most entertaining blogs in existence!

  4. a Tart says:

    loving the Dio, thanks! xoox

  5. John Fink says:

    Okay, the Love Child Orchestra is awesome. Even the non-awesome tracks are awesome. I don’t know why. They’re just so awesomely 1989, which was already an awesome year for music.

  6. Eclipse says:

    Finally, someone else who loves Tank Girl and the Cool World soundtrack. Cool World was a shit movie, but I have always loved that soundtrack. Thanks for these remixes!

  7. Anonymous says:

    I second that Alice Cooper and raise you Alex Chilton, Tommy James, Nick Lowe. The Bee Gees early Beatly pop period (To Love Somebody, Got to Get a Message to You, Words, etc.) earns them the trip to the hall.

  8. Hallway Of Memories says:

    Hell, I’d even include Duran Duran on the short list as well…….even INXS was eligable 3 years ago…….they seem to be dropping the ball on this…
    I have always wondered why they haven’t let Kraftwerk in the hall yet…I mean….Grandmaster Flash is now in, but Kraftwerk is not…

  9. Anonymous says:

    Joy Division, The Replacements, Sonic Youth, and The Smiths are about as influencial as it gets. Then again I always laugh at the visa commerial that describes what it must have been like to go to Bon Jovi’s first show. yuck.

  10. nojarama says:

    Thanx for the Bowie! And yes, "Cool World" was an amazing movie & the soundtrack made it even better. Both the film & the soundtrack were VERY under-rated IMO. It was like "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" on acid. Wonderful!

    As for R&RHOF, they've criminally neglected both ABBA & The B-52's for years now sadly…

  11. jsd says:

    I’ve been looking for Love Child Orchestra forever. Pascal Gabriel is of course a god of dance music (check out his credits… it is 15 miles long) and Loritta Grahame was the vocalist for the awesome Colourbox.

    Your blog rules.

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