Grand Theft Turntable

So on Monday night I stood in line for the GTAIV. I expected a big gathering of severely socially -inept pale geeks (or as I call them, my people) to be instead surrounded by a legion of wanna-be thugs, real life thugs, and more low-level weed dealers than you could shake a skunk joint at. If Jack Thompson was there he would have shit. Also there in copious amount were drug dealer girlfriends. You know the types, rail-thin (from all the Adderall) with frizzy dyed hair, enveloped in baggy hoodies (no doubt the boyfriend’s) and very dead eyes.

Even sketchier than the crowd gathering to buy the previously-mentioned ode to street violence was the security that the local Gamestop hired, who were undoubtedly hooking up at many of the dealers’ homes after they got done protecting nerds like me.

In celebration of my drugged out homies and the release of GTAIV, here’s some violent street shit to get you in the mood to carjack and kill hookers.

How It Is (Brooklyn Bootleg #1)
How It Is (Brooklyn Bootleg #2)
How It Is (Brooklyn Bootleg #3)
How It Is (Letahl H.O.P. Mix)
Supposedly Biohazard was rocking out how life really was for them growing up on the mean streets of Brooklyn. I think they were exaggerating, since their version of Brooklyn makes the GTA equivalent look like fuckin’ Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. This a lot of How It Is. For casual fans and the curious I recommend any one of the Brooklyn Bootleg mixes and the Lethal HOP Mix, which is the only one that sounds significantly different than the others. These are all taken of the 12” single.

Lords Of The Underground
Psycho (12” Rubber Room Mix)
Nothing is underground about these dudes’ sound and judging from their fading into obscurity they certainly aren’t the Lords of anything either. Good tune though, typical “don’t you know I’m loco” rap – but it’s fun. From a promo single.

Public Enemy
Can’t Do Nuttin’ For Ya Man (UK 12” Powermixx)
Get The Fuck Outta Dodge (Escapism 1991)
Shut Em Down (Pe-Te Rock Mixx)

These tunes aren’t as gangsta or street as Biohazard’s or the Lords Of the Underground tune, but they are nice tracks about violence, getting fucked over and related shit that fit nicely into the world of GTA. These are all from various 12” singles.

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