Nothing’s caught on fire yet! Let us celebrate with Erasure remixes!

July 29th, 2010

So far the transition seems to be going rather well, don’t you think? I’m sure my hits have plummeted, but I don’t care too much about that. I’m content with just the people who really care about this kind of crap reading this, popularity (and the DMCA notices that seem to come with it) is overrated. Still, I like some people coming here, so I’m going to have to re-register with every damn aggregator site, which will for sure be a pain in the ass. And if any of you bloggers who link to me are reading this, don’t forget to change your links! Eventually I’m going to set the Blogger blog on fire. But there will be time for that later.

I kind of picked a lousy time to finally do this move. I got Lollapalooza next week, so there will probably be a very quick update next Monday or Tuesday, and then absolutely nothing for at least a week. Compounding annoyance, the belt in my turntable is starting to go, so I had to order a new one today. While the variance in speed is very minor at the moment, it’s bugging me like crazy, so I’m not going to be recording anything until that belt comes in. Thankfully, this will overlap with my Lolla time, so it shouldn’t be a problem. If the new belt doesn’t fix the problem, then I’m going to have to finally cave in and get a direct-drive table. If that happens, then I’ll fill the downtime with some “greatest hits” of bygone posts. So I’m sure none of you will complain. If anyone out there wants to recommend a good turntable that is NOT an ION USB turntable, please make note in the comment section. Just don’t recommend an SL-1200, I know they are awesome, but I don’t have six hundred bucks at the moment.

Erasure
Fingers & Thumbs (Cold Summer’s Day) (Figures In Crumbs)
Fingers & Thumbs (Cold Summer’s Day) (Twilight 0.2)
Fingers & Thumbs (Cold Summer’s Day) (Dub On The Moon)
Fingers & Thumbs (Cold Summer’s Day) (Tin Tin Out Remix)
Fingers & Thumbs (Cold Summer’s Day) (Twilight Plus)
To the person who complained about a lack of Depeche Mode…well played. I actually wanted to start off Lost Turntable 2.0 with a Depeche Mode post, but I’ve already posted all my rare Depeche Mode several times over! Shit, most of what I posted isn’t even rare anymore since iTunes and Amazon put the singles box sets on their stores. The Erasure singles box sets (which I sadly do not have) are still out of print though! These remixes are not from a vinyl (see above issue) and are instead from a CD single. I apologize for the lower-than-average bitrate, but I did not rip them.

Posted in Erasure, remixes | 4 Comments »

And Now It’s Time To Party Hard

July 28th, 2010

This is the very first post at the new Lost Turntable. Which, as you may notice, bears a very striking resemblance to the orginal Lost Turntable! Funny that.

This is going to be a very very very rough transitional phase for me. So everyone bear with any occasional glitches, broken links, and what not. But fuck that for now…

Andrew W.K.
Party Hard (Live)
She Is Beautiful (Live)
Gonna keep it simple tonight, as I am currently recovering from a summer cold that beat the everloving snot out of me (literally!). Still, I can’t think of a better song to reign in the new era, can you?

Posted in Andrew W.K., live | 5 Comments »

That Club Must Be a Fire Hazard

July 20th, 2010

This is one of the most retarded posts I’ve put up in a very long time. So…enjoy?

Annabel Lamb
<s>Riders On The Storm (Specially Remixed Dance Version)
Riders On The Storm (Dub Version)</s>
So, an early 80s dance remake of a Doors song? Yeah. If anyone wants to explain this one to me I’d appreciate it very much.

Grace Jones
<s>Love On Top Of Love – Killer Kiss (The Funky Dred Club Mix)
Love On Top Of Love – Killer Kiss (The Funky Dred Dub Mix)
Love On Top Of Love – Killer Kiss (Grace’s Swing Mix)</s>
The “Funky Dred Club Mix” is awesome because it samples the same bells beat that was in Run DMC’s “Peter Piper.” This single annoyed me though, because in addition to these three mixes it has a mix by Cole and Clivilles, which is so fucked up and scratched it won’t play. If anyone is sitting that one hook me up.

Rock Master Scott and The Dynamic Three
<s>The Roof Is On Fire
The Roof Is On Fire (Scratchin’)
The Roof Is On Fire (Jivin’)</s>
Yes, this is the original “The roof! The roof! The Roof is on fire!” song. It’s also the source for the “Hey Girl! Hey Boy!” sample in the (awful) Chemical Brothers song of the same name. It also has the line “and if you’re not a square from Delaware then throw your hands up in the air.” Sorry all you Delawarians. You got another reason to hate life.

Posted in Annabel Lee, Grace Jones, Rock Master Scott and the Dynamic Three, We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn | 6 Comments »

Joy Kicks Darkness in the Ass

July 12th, 2010

I’m having a wonderfully splendid night. Sorry. No rants. Not even one. Too bad for you.

Ash
True Love 1980 (Vince Clarke Remix)
Dare To Dream (Mogwai Remix)
I am apparently in the dark when it comes to music news related to bands I give a shit about. I had no idea about Ash’s amazing Singles Club thing. For those of you as lame as I, let me explain. Ash announced last year that they were no longer releasing albums. Instead they were just going to release singles. Sounds like what the Pumpkins are doing now doesn’t it? Well, there’s a few key differences. First of all, Ash’s songs don’t suck. Secondly, you get the tracks by “subscribing” with a one-time $20 fee. Then every two weeks you get a new song! There are bonus tracks too! It’s a pretty bitchin’ deal I tell you. They’ve released 20 so far (told you I was late to the punch) and many of them are excellent. One of the first was “True Love 1980.” It’s a great track that combines several of my favorite things; sappy love lyrics, synths, and 1980. This remix takes all of that and adds Vince Clarke to the mix. So we all win. The Mogwai mix is the lesser of the two, but still good. I got these from the official Ash website, they were 100%, no subscription needed, but I thought I’d share them here anyways. There are three other remixes of “True Love 1980” out there, if anyone has them please share. I’ll be your best friend.

The Stone Roses
Elephant Stone (Leckie 7 inch Mix)
Elephant Stone (Leckie 12 inch Mix)
Elephant Stone (Peter Hook Original Mix)
I totally stole these mixes from The awesomely-named blog The Power of Independent Trucking after being directed there by a commenter. That site is great, but he only put the songs up as FLAC files, and I know that confuses many a person. So I went ahead and converted them. I hope dude doesn’t mind. I’m totally pimping his site. Go there!

Posted in Ash, remixes, The Stone Roses | 4 Comments »

The "King" is Dead

July 9th, 2010

Yeah, if you were hoping this would be the one blog where you wouldn’t have to hear about LeBron James, too bad.

Let me explain something to all of you. I may live in Pittsburgh, and I may love this city, but I was born and raised in Ohio. I’m happy when the Steelers win (well, not anymore, thanks to Rapistburger) and I’m a casual Pens fan. But I was raised on the Browns. When that dickless wonder Art Modell took the Browns away from us I thought Cleveland had seen its darkest betrayal.

Damn I hate being wrong.

Sure, LeBron is only one man and in the long term this probably isn’t as devastating as the city losing an entire team, but the betrayal is far greater. Not only did the dickhead betray all of his fans, the city he grew up in, and pretty much everyone who has ever supported him, but he did it in the most narcissistic, bullshit, asshole way humanely possible. The stupid motherfucker had the gall to take out an hour of airtime on ESPN to basically A) Expound on how great he is and B) Say “FUCK YOU CLEVELAND” over and over again. Why the fuck would anyone do that? If he would have just left the team that would have sucked, but hey I get it, business is business and shit happens. But to just be such a stupendous DICKHEAD about it really blows my mind.

So LeBron, allow me to echo the statements of thousands of people in the greater Ohio area: Fuck You.

And by the way, you want to know how fucked up this is? People in Pittsburgh, in fucking PITTSBURGH, think that the Cavs fans in Cleveland are getting fucked over. Allow me to repeat that: people in Pittsburgh feel bad for the Cleveland fans.

That’s some hardcore shit.

Electric Six
Escape From Ohio
Not a rare track, but a great one. Maybe it’s LeBron’s new theme song?

Devo
Ohio
Devo: From Akron and not a piece of shit. Unlike some people. And I’m seeing Devo on Friday! I’m very excited! I’m totally buying a Devo hat. It will be a good day.

Ian Hunter
Cleveland Rocks (Live)
Word, and don’t you fucking forget it.

Hang in there guys. It’ll get better someday.

Posted in Cleveland rocks, Devo, Electric Six, Ian Hunter, Ohio Motherfucker | 8 Comments »

I Bang The Drums

July 8th, 2010

Quick protip for all you adults of legal drinking age: Jagermeister goes shockingly well with blue Gatorade. Yes, it sounds like it would taste like anti-freeze, but it actually tastes like candy. Candy that will kill you. So drink in moderation.

Madonna
Rain (Radio Remix)
Waiting (Remix)
Up Down Suite
So according to Wikipedia “Rain” was a moderate hit for Madonna, far more so than “Bad Girl,” which was the single that preceded it. That sure is a shocker to me. I haven’t listened to Erotica (the album from which both songs came from) in probably ten years, and I can’t ever recall hearing “Rain” before. However, you mention “Bad Girl” to me and I’ll respond with “Bad girl/drunk by six/kissing some kind stranger’s lips/smoke too many cigarettes a day/I’m not happy when I act this way.” It does have a beautiful video though.

I’m not sure what to make of the “Up Down Suite,” it was probably made for clubs. The remix to “Waiting” is good though, if insanely mid-90s in sound. All of these come from the 12” single to “Rain.”

The Stone Roses
Elephant Stone (7” Version)
The availability of this version of the song has been sketchy over time. It was on the 10th anniversary edition of the band’s first album, but is absent on the 20th anniversary edition (shit, it’s been over 20 years since that record came out!?). I like this version way more. It’s shorter for sure, but it sounds like it was dipped in a vat of wah-wah guitars. Groovy. This is from the 12” single.

Random bit about The Stone Roses, well more like my obsession with them. According to iTunes, I have played both versions of “She Bangs The Drums” (the single and album versions) a total of 86 times. The second-most-played song in my collection is the first track of Foxy Shazam’s latest album with a paltry 45. So yeah, I like that song.

Posted in Madonna, remixes, The Stone Roses | 11 Comments »

Ain’t No Buddy Of Mine

July 6th, 2010

I hope all my American readers had a pleasant Fourth of July. Mine was as enjoyable as pounding hot needles into my forehead.

Speaking of things that suck, I got another DMCA notice! That’s my third! Yay me I must be making friends in the right places to get that much attention. Progress on the new Lost Turntable site is ongoing. When the inevitable happens and Blogger shuts my ass down be sure to go to LostTurntable.com, as that is where I will be.

De La Soul
Buddy (Native Tongue Decision)
Buddy (Native Tongue Instrumental)
Ghetto Thang (Ghetto Ximer)
Ghetto Thang (Ghetto Ximer Instrumental)
That remix of “buddy” is on my top ten list of best hip hop remixes of all time. Dunno why, I just dig it. I especially dig the random interlacing of The Jungle Brothers’ “Got It Like That.” That song is on Fatboy Slim’s On The Floor At The Boutique, which I’ve probably mentioned a dozen times or so as my favorite mix album of the 90s. You should own that. These remixes are from a 12”.

Underworld
Promised Land
Little known fact: (well, not that little known, I’ve talked about it before) Underworld used to be a mediocre synthpop band before recruiting Darren Emerson and re-inventing themselves as the best fucking house band of the mid-90s. Listening to their pre-Emerson stuff it’s hard to imagine that they were the same group, especially after hearing this piece of 80s cheese off of the Wild Orchid soundtrack. Goofy but fun.

Posted in De La Soul, remixes, soundtrack, Underworld | 4 Comments »

Big Audio Blog Post III

June 29th, 2010

Hey remember when this blog was updated more than once every week or so? Man, those were the days. That Lost Turntable guy sure is an asshole.

Big Audio Dynamite
B.A.D. Overture
This is a mega-medly of various B.A.D. beats, samples and riffs. It’s silly for sure, but a great example of both the highs and lows of 80s remixes all in one five minute track!

This track goes by a few different names. It’s also called the “Lovesensi Overture” according to All Music, but the name “B.A.D. Overture” is what’s on the back of the sleeve. Of course, that sleeve isn’t infaliable, it lists the b-side as “2,000 Shoes (Top Buzz)” while it’s actually just the Overture again.

The name “Lovesensi” is actually the name of the release this comes on, which is weird. It’s a spoof on Prince’s “Love Sexy.” A fact made all the more evident by the utterly disturbing album cover.

Pearl Jam
Turning Mist
Hawaii 78 (Live)
The Pearl Jam fan club “Christmas” singles keep coming out later and later. They used to actually come out on Christmas from what I’m told, but they slowly turned into unofficial Easter gifts. This year they came close to the first day of summer. They keep it up they’ll delay themselves back on schedule. I think they figured this one would be coming out in the summer though, since it’s all about surfing and Hawaii, although the Hawaii tune really isn’t a happy jam. You can read more about that amazing tune here.

Kirsty MacColl
Walking Down Madison (Club Mix)
Walking Down Madison (Urban Mix)
Walking Down Madison (6 a.m. Ambient Mix)
This is a good song with a great message and lyrics but the first two remixes take a song that was already late 80s/early 90s overproduced and jacks it up even more. The last remix is the best version of the song. It strips away all the bullshit and leaves you with nothing but a beat and the stark lyrics. Beautiful.

Posted in B-sides, Big Audio Dynamite, Kirsty MacColl, Pearl Jam, remixes | 4 Comments »

This Is a Sample of a Remix of a Cover.

June 22nd, 2010

Hey it’s me. I’m not dead. I’ve just been incredibly busy. Father’s Day. Work. Technical difficulties with my turntable. Shit snowballs.

What have I been so busy doing you ask? Well, I did interview the lead singer of Foxy Shazam motherfuckers! You should go read that interview. It’s amazing. Every word spoken in it was spoken by someone born in Toledo, Ohio. So, hey, beat that.

Anyways, here are some stupid remixes.

The Rolling Stones
Anybody Seen My Baby (Armand Van Helden Rolling Steelo Mix)
Anybody Seen My Baby (Soul Solution Vocal Dub)
Anybody Seen My Baby (Casanova New Vocal Mix)
Unless there’s a 12” dance remix of Satisfaction out there I think this will be one of the only times I feature Rolling Stones’ tracks on this blog. Note: If there are 12” dance remixes of Satisfaction out there, I don’t need them. These remixes of Constant Craving a song that wasn’t a total rip-off are from a 12” single.

And yes, I know they gave K.D. Lang a songwriting credit for the song after they “discovered” the similarities, but hey, I bet the inheritors of The Staple Sisters estate are still waiting for a check after the Stones became “inspired” by their arrangement of a gospel song that the Stones took sole writing credit for. So then 30+ years later when The Verve sampled a cover of the song, which the Stones didn’t really write mind you, they were forced to hand over all the rights to it. Fucking wankers.

Red Hot Chili Peppers
Higher Ground (Freckle Nose Mix)
Higher Ground (B. G. Dub)
Higher Ground (Pearly 12″)
If You Want Me To Stay (Jingle Hell Mix)
If You Want Me To Stay (Instr-Mental)
I’m sure Stevie gets the royalties for the “Higher Ground” cover. Good thing too. This cover is still the best thing RHCP ever put out.

Posted in Red Hot Chili Peppers, remixes, The Rolling Stones | 5 Comments »

Raise Your Hand if you Like the Vuvuzela!

June 13th, 2010

Update 7/22/10
To the dickless fucker who keeps reporting this post as a DMCA violation. I want you to look at this post carefully. Do you see any fucking song links? No. You know why? Because I fucking took them down. You don’ t own the rights to broken links you fucker.

Furthermore, whoever the fuck you are, MR. IFPI, you don’t fucking own ANY OF THESE SONGS. They are fan-made mash-ups, unavailable to purchase legally. These mash-ups aren’t costing you any money, and since I’m not charging for them, some would argue that they qualify as a perfect example of Fair Use.

So go fuck yourself, fuck your law, and fuck your mother. She puts out from what I’ve been told.

Fucker.

We now return to you to an non-existent post.

So I can punch you in the face. Ban that fucking thing. It’s ruining the World Cup.

Anyways, hey it’s a bunch of stupid mash-ups! Let’s party like its 2001!

Hollertronix
Kopa Hombre
Staring At The Sun
Tippin Toxic
Snoop Vs. Cure
It’s a Pity
Golddigger (Diplo Mix)
Golddigger (Tugboat Edit)
Can I Have It Like That? (DJ Gold Face Crazy Frog Remix)
Stay Fly (Mad Decent Remix)
I’m With The Girls (DJ ABCDEFG Remix)
Don’t You Wish You Had A Caparihna (Grizzly Bounce / Chapaquente / Mad Decent Mix)
Okay, so I’m crediting these to “Hollertronix” but I have no idea how accurate that is. These are all basically remixes/mash-ups by Diplo from what I gather. At the very least he organized/produced them, so he wins. The remixes so drastically rework the original tracks that just calling them “remixes” and crediting them to the original artists seems silly. These are from volumes two and three of the Hollertronix series, which came out back in 2005. The track names are complete guesses for tracks from volume 2, I stole them from Discogs.

DJ Booty von Dralle
Don’t Start Me Down (Pink vs. ELO)
Deeper Like Blood (Madonna vs. Killing Joke)
Oops, My Bubbles (Tweet vs Ellis, Beggs & Howard)
Sharona’s Music (The Knack vs. Madonna)
I have no idea who “DJ Booty von Dralle” is. These mash-ups are from an entirely unofficial, completely-illegal white label 12” I picked up a few months ago. Stupid but quite good. If anyone out there does know who this guy is let me know. He needs to be thanked/beaten for combining “My Sharona” with Madonna’s “Music”.

Posted in bootlegs, mash-ups, remixes | 3 Comments »

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