Pittsburgh is underwater.

June 10th, 2010

I am in a shit mood. I hate rain. Hate it. It’s stupid and dumb. My house is underwater and my ceiling is leaking and I want to punch the sky, but my arms aren’t long enough. It’s annoying.

I bought some amazing stuff when I was in Philly a couple days ago. Hopefully some of it will be up here soon.

Queens Of The Stone Age

Never Say Never
Who’ll Be Next In Line
You’re So Vague
Never Say Never is a cover. It was originally on the soundtrack to The Punisher. It still is actually. But you can’t buy it. Well, you can, but if you want the song you have to buy the whole lousy soundtrack. And I mean lousy as in “shitty” not in “the whole thing.” Who’ll Be Next In Line is a Kinks cover and “You’re So Vague” is an original song, but if you don’t know what it is referencing then you’re an idiot and you can’t read my blog anymore.
Lamb
Gorecki (Global Communication Remix)
Cotton Wood (Fila Brazilia Mix)
One of the very first CDs I ever reviewed was Lamb’s sophomore album way back in 1999. I think I said “sounds like Portishead” about 84 times in that review. I’ve become a better writer since then but I’m going to stand by that opinion. These are from a weird 12” promo single.

Oh no you Diggerididn’t!

June 2nd, 2010

You can blame the current lack of updates on work, personal bullshit and Super Mario Galaxy 2.

Jamiroquai
When You Gonna Learn? (Digeridoo)
When You Gonna Learn? (Digeridon’t)
When You Gonna Learn? (J.K. Mix)
When You Gonna Learn? (Cante Hondo Mix)
When You Gonna Learn? (Original Demo)
When You Gonna Learn? (Didj. Instrumental)

Yes, I will admit I bought this 12” solely because there’s a remix on it called “Digeridon’t” and I’m a sucker for puns that involve aboriginal instruments. I’m a simple man. Of course, the didgeridoo-lacking mix is the worst one of the bunch. Because if Richard D. James taught us anything, it’s that didgeridoo’s make dance music better.

Oh, and Jamiroquai’s name is just as hard to spell sober as it is drunk.

Revenge
State Of Shock (L’Pool Edit)
State Of Shock (Paralized Mix)
Little Pig (Extended Mix)

If you do a search for “Peter Hook” and “Revenge” you get about 31,000 results. Add “maligned” to that and you get 455 hits. That means one out of 6.8 sites on the web that are talking about Revenge mention how much they suck. That’s harsh. Well, I’m not going to jump on that bandwagon, but I will say that State Of Shock is a pretty blah song. The remixes help though.

‘Yellow Magic’ Just Sounds Gross Though

May 26th, 2010

Yup. It’s music.

Yellow Magic Orchestra – X∞Multiplies
Nice Age
Behind The Mask
Rydeen
Day Tripper
Technopolis
Multiples
Citizens Of Science
Solid State Survivor

Talk about a band that’s criminally underheard (in America anyways). Yellow Magic Orchestra is one of the synth-pop bands. As far as I’m concerned they’re one of the first bands to perfect the electronic-pop sound, nearly beating Kraftwerk to the punch. So why haven’t you heard of them? Well, most likely it’s because they’re from Japan, and us American assholes just don’t seem to dig on Asian pop musicians, no matter how amazing they are. NONE of YMO’s discography is currently in print in America, although the import price for their first two albums aren’t that bad at Amazon at the moment. In the age of MP3s and digital music stores this is really inexcusable. Hey, whoever owns the rights to YMO’s music, if you make it available to purchase I’ll buy it. You’re making it hard for me to give you money.

The history to this album is a bit confusing but also appropriate, considering that there are multiple versions of it. The Japanese version came first, and that featured a collection of new tracks as well as some sketch comedy bits. The American and European versions cut out all the comedy bits and instead treated the album as a compilation, taking the best bits from the band’s first two albums and throwing them in with the tracks that were already there. The tracks listed here tonight are from my copy, which is the American version.

And that version of “Day Tripper” is something else.

This Blog Goes to 12. Spinal Tap can Suck it.

May 22nd, 2010

Tonight’s post is brought to you by eight month old Jagermeister. You see, that’s when that shit gets SMOOTH. Wow my eyeballs feel warm…

Also, to the people asking for the soundtrack to Get Crazy, email me. The addy is on this page, you can find it. I don’t post complete soundtracks anymore. They always get shut down by The Man. Fuck The Man. He’s a tool.

Tonight’s post is epic. Enjoy.

Big Country
In A Big Country (Pure Mix)
Wonderland (Extended Mix)
These are both reposts As in I posted this track before. But demand for the In A Big Country remix was overwhelming! Well, not overwhelming, two people asked. But I giving that whole “karma” thingy a try. For future reference to all y’all, if you want a track I posted before you should email me. It’s easier and you are FAR more likely to get it that way then posting in the comments. It shows to me that you actually read my blog. That makes me happy. You know what else makes me happy. This song. I’ve never took the smile away from anybody’s face either man. Damn, my face is all warm and stuff. I’m also reposting that amazing remix of “Wonderland” because I felt like it.

The B-52s
Hallucinating Pluto (Jason’s Ride On Mix)
Hallucinating Pluto (Jason’s Beats)
Roam (Miami Phunky Break Mix)
Love Shack (DJ Tonka Remix)
Planet Claire (Francois Kevorkian Mix)
Summer Of Love (Summer Party Mix)
Good Stuff (Schottische Mix)
Debbie (Edge Factor Mix)
So some of these are available to download at Amazon’s MP3 store. But I don’t care! Besides, my vinyl ripped versions sound neater. These mixes kick ass. Although Jason Mevin’s mix of “Hallucinating Pluto” make it sound like the track is an invitation from Fred Schneider for you to mount him. But hey, it probably is. So go nuts. Also, the” Summer of Love” mix is by Shep Pettibone, and the “Good Stuff” mix is by Moby. Also, the “Good Stuff” mix is rock your balls off amazing. I got these from a promotional 2×12” pack that was encased in red vinyl. It’s cool.

Jamiroquai
Supersonic (Pete Heller – The Love Mix)
Supersonic (Restless Soul Main Vocal Mix)
Supersonic (Restless Soul Digi-Beats)
Supersonic (Pete Heller – The Love Dub)
Supersonic (Sharp Razor Remix)
Jamiroquai is very hard to spell. Much more so when drunk.

N.W.A.
Gangsta Gangsta (Aphrodite Mix/Club)
Dopeman (Aphrodite Mix/Club)
That’s right biatch! I’m gangsta. Not really. These are remixes by Aphrodite. I never knew this 12” existed before stumbling across it last week. If I had I probably would’ve gone out of my way to buy it because these tracks appear in mix form on Aphrodite’s epic mix CD Urban Jungle. I think I’ve mention this before, but that mix CD is unbefuckinglievable. You will never hear a better 73 minutes of jungle music than you will on that CD. I just discovered it’s out of print too! What the fuck? How did that happen? That’s fucked up. Shit. If I ever dig mine out of storage I’ll try to post it. The version I have on my computer is one long MP3, because back when I ripped it iTunes couldn’t play mixes without pauses between tracks. It was annoying. Seriously though, however much you see that CD worth it’s totally worth it. It’s hand in hand with Fatboy Slim’s On The Floor At the Boutique as the best mix CD of the 90s.

Listen To Black Sabbath.

May 17th, 2010

I’m not going to lie and say I’m some super-huge Dio fan. I don’t own and Dio or Rainbow records (although I do own an Elf record for some reason – my music collection is just stupid sometimes). My Dio knowledge is pretty much limited to what he did with Sabbath, and even that’s pretty light. Aside from “Mob Rules” and “Neon Knights” I don’t think I ever heard a Dio-era Sabbath song until I moved to Pittsburgh a few years ago, when newly acquired metal-loving friends showed me what was what. A couple years later I got to see Dio in concert with Heaven & Hell (which is what Dio Sabbath calls themselves) and proceeded to have my mind blown. Holy shit. He was 65 at the time I think. I hope I am half that fucking metal when I’m 65. Shit. I’m not now and I’m less than half that age. I got some rocking to do.

If I may lighten the mood a bit; I have this joke I use (a lot). Whenever someone/something lets someone down I say “Well, it’s like David Lee Roth, the concept of him is better than the reality. David Lee Roth is great in theory, but not in practice.”

Stupid I know, but relevant. Because while the concept/myth/mystique of Dio was legendary, it was actually matched by the epic voice, presence and legacy of the man himself. Dio wasn’t just a monster of metal. He fucking WAS metal. And he still is.

Black Sabbath (Heaven & Hell)
The Devil Creed
Shadow Of The Wind
Ear In the Wall

These three tracks are from The Dio Years greatest hits from a few years back. I posted them a couple years ago and I’m posting them again with the same instructions. Download these three songs and then go buy the The Rules Of Hell box set, which collects every album Dio ever did with Sabbath, including Live Evil and Dehumanizer.

And He’s Still More Metal Than You

May 16th, 2010

And don’t you fucking forget it.

Also, Depeche Mode.

May 13th, 2010

Okay, now that my rant is out the way…MUSIC!

Depeche Mode
Fragile Tension (Stephan Bodzin Remix)
Fragile Tension (Kris Menace’s Love On Laserdisc Remix)
Hole To Feed (Paul Woolford’s Easyfun Ethereal Disco Mix)
Perfect (Ralphi Rosario Dub)
Peace (Hervé’s ‘Warehouse Frequencies’ Remix)
Peace (Sander Van Doorn Remix)

I almost went a full month without putting up some Depeche Mode. Thank god I fixed that. These are from the 2×12” single for Fragile Tension/Hole To Feed. Notice that they are mostly different than the remixes that are on the CD single of the same name that is readily available on Amazon and I highly recommend buying. Also notice that one of these remixes is called “Kris Menace’s Love On Laserdisc Remix.” And speaking as someone who has a LaserDisc player hooked up to his computer, I say bravo to that.

Do It Big Tickets Sucks

May 13th, 2010

Tonight there are two posts. One without music and one with. I don’t want to sully the music with tonight’s little diatribe. If you only come here for the tunes then just skip this post all together.

I hate the fact that I have to moderate my comment section. I wish people could just post away on there. But that can’t happen. I first had to enable comment moderation because of some random sick fucker posting stuff I won’t get into. But I had to keep it up because I get an insane amount of spam comments. They’re all the same, something like “I love your blog. What do you think of RANDOM GENERATED PRODUCT” with a link to a shit site. They are incredibly annoying.

I’ve been getting a ton recently from one site. I seemingly can’t reject them as fast as they show up. It’s maddening. Now, I’m sure these asshole WANT me to mention their site, because they want hits. Well I am going to mention their site, but not in the way they want.

Now, no matter what you do, DON’T GO TO THIS SITE for reasons that will become abundantly clear in the coming paragraphs.

The site spamming my blog is Do It Big Tickets. They’re scalpers. I fucking hate scalpers. I really fucking hate how scalping is somehow legal now, but that’s not the point of this rant. If Do It Big Tickets wants to make money by being the scum sucking cockmongers of the live music industry, then more power to them. But Do It Big Tickets should know that spamming other sites comment section is not an effective or ethical way to shill their useless site on the masses.

They don’t even do it right! The comments are lame, generic and don’t even mention the site’s name. I write SEO (Search Engine Optimized) content for a living, and let me tell you, these comments would never do a good job at generating hits or improve search results.

Maybe I should show them how it’s done then…

Are you looking for someone to rob you, pour sugar in your gas tank and punch your dog in the face? The go to Do It Big Tickets! Do It Big Tickets is your number one source for unethical business practices, shoddy customer service and infated ticket prices. In fact, Do it Big Tickets is the number one site on the internet for illegal business practices and price gauging. Want to see your favorite band for an affordable price? You can’t! Because Do It Big Tickets hates you. Remember, if you want to pay too much for tickets, get ripped off and treated like shit then Do It Big Tickets is the site for you!

Now, that is SEO content. See how often I mentioned the site’s name, usually next to words liek “scam,” “illegal” and “price gauging”? That might help influence search results. Having their name in the title of this post certainly will. It’s done wonders for Pitchfork Editor Scott Plagenoef search results (see the fifth one down) and those who want to know if Sting is a pussy.

Man I’m glad this site isn’t read by anyone. Because that was incredibly unprofessional and immature.

Foxy Shazam and Seven Inches of Raw Power

May 9th, 2010

How is everyone on this lovely evening? I am in an exceptionally good mood. I saw Pearl Jam perform 2+ hours of awesomeness in Cleveland yesterday and am still riding my Vedder high. That was the eighth time I’ve seen them live and I’m already jonesing for more.

Speaking of awesome amazing stupendous things I feel the need to rave a bit about a band I recently discovered. I mentioned them briefly a few days ago but I don’t think I did them enough justice.

Foxy Shazam are fucking awesome. I had never heard of these guys before last week, when I was assigned their CD to review for one of the sites I work for (I’ll link to my review when it’s up). I wanted to listen to them at first because A) They have an amazing name and B) They’re playing Lollapalooza this year and since I’ll be there I like to know the bands I might be seeing beforehand.

I knew nothing about these guys before I started playing the CD. It stars, there’s dogs barking. I’m confused. Then a man with a voice of Freddie Mercury on ‘roids (Eric Sean Nally) starts some polite crooning…before unleashing a beastly howl that is a sonic slap of super sexy awesome. From that second on this band has been my obsession. This album, which is self-titled, is without a doubt my first contender for album of the year. And if it had come out one year prior it would have made my top five albums of that decade. Yes. It’s that fucking good.

Now, why am I going off on this? Why don’t I do this for every album I love this much Well, if I heard albums this unbefuckinglievable more often I would. But this is the first time in recent memory that I can recall falling in love with a record this much. According to my Last.fm stats I have listened to Foxy Shazam over 180 times in the past week. Number two for that time period is LCD Soundsystem – and that’s only because I had to review their new album as well.

(And on a quick aside, This Is Happening is the anti Foxy Shazam and is the worst album I’ve heard from an artist I liked since I can’t remember when. “Drunk Girls” is a shit rip-off of “White Lines/White Heat” (edit: “White LIGHT/White Heat, I’m retarded,) and aside from three very good tracks the whole thing is an abortion of a record that should be set aflame and forgotten).

For whatever reason, this record is not getting the promotion it deserves. I haven’t seen any notable reviews on Pitchfork, Stereogum or any blogs of note. And I’m not hearing the songs on commercials, in trailers or anywhere else for that matter. I do know that “Unstoppable” played briefly during the Super Bowl, but that was months ago. I don’t even think they’ve released a single since the album came out. Which is fucked up. “Wanna-Be Angel” should be force-fed to every radio station in the country!

I urge all of you to BUY Foxy Shazam’s new self-titled album. BUY it. Don’t download it. Don’t get the MP3s from a friend. Fucking go to the record store (or iTunes or Amazon, whatever) and spend your hard-earned cash on it. It will without question be the best 10 bucks you spend all damn year. And if you listen to that record and somehow are not completely blown away by the amazing awesomeness of it. If you aren’t convinced that Foxy Shazam are the best RAWK band in the world and that they should by all rights be selling out stadiums around the world, well then you don’t have permission to read my blog anymore.

Yeah. So I like them. Anyways, all of tonight’s music (completely unrelated to Foxy Shazam) was taken from 7” Record Store Day exclusives.

Tegan And Sara
Alligator
Hell
The Cure
On Directing

Have you bought Sainthood yet? You should. It’s amazing. It’s better than The Con, but not as good as So Jealous, which I love more so because I think about half the tracks on that CD were either written specifically about me or several of my best friends. Seriously, some of the tracks on that one were freakishly close to home.

Passion Pit
Little Secrets (Felix Da Housecat Pink Enemy Remix)
Chicks dig Passion Pit. If you’re a dude who likes chicks and you don’t like this group you should pretend you do at the very least. I wrote an article about the kinds of songs you should put on a mixtape, and this would be a good one for that. Whenever that article ends up online I’ll be sure to link to it.

Against Me!
I Was a Teenage Anarchist (Acoustic Version)
I’m loving this song right now. I always enjoy it when a band has the balls to insult their fanbase in an intelligent way. Mindless Self Indulgence did it brilliantly with their scathing You’ll Rebel To Anything, a record so critical of the Hot Topic culture it made the band’s exclusivity deal with the retailer even more depressing, and Against Me have done it with this excellent track. Against Me are frequently labeled as a “sell out” band because they had the nerve to become better musicians and sign to a major label. This song turns the tables on those proclaiming sell out and explains that ideals are a hell of a lot easier to live by until you get to the real world. Besides, anarchists are such whiny little cowards anyways. I was happy to see them get maced by the police during the G20 protests. Because putting on black handkerchiefs and running around like idiots is a surefire way to start the revolution. Pussies.

I know what I have and I still have it. So hah.

May 7th, 2010

Random pop culture recommendations:

Foxy Shazam’s new self-titled CD is un-be-fucking-lievable. Buy it.
How To Train Your Dragon is amazing. See it in 3D if you can.
The Protomen kick ass. Buy everything they have and see them live if possible.

Janet Jackson
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Def Club Mix)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Def Radio Mix)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Armand Van Helden Speedy Garagez Mix)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Nellee Hooper Master Mix)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Jimmy Jam Mellow Mix)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Ummah’s Uptown Saturday Night Mix)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Original Extended Version)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Ummah Jay Dee’s Revenge Mix)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (LP Instrumental)
This is probably my fifth favorite Janet Jackson song. Behind “Nasty,” “Rhythm Nation,” “Control” and “If.” Although that last one is probably my favorite solely because of the video which was just…damn. Sure it may not be that risque now but it left quite the impression on me when I was 12.

But anyways, were here to talk about this song, which was apparently produced by the late great J. Dilla. And if you know who J. Dilla is then you probably already knew that. You also probably already knew that the “Ummah” mixes of the song were remixed by the Dilla also. Well look at you, aren’t you smart. Show off. These are from a 12” single.

Madonna
Causing a Commotion (Silver Screen Mix)
Causing a Commotion (Dub)
Causing a Commotion (Movie House Mix)
Now, don’t get me wrong, “Causing a Commotion” is an excellent pop song. I love it. That’s why I bought the 12” single. But the “Movie House Mix,” is nearly 10 minutes long. And unlike “Atomic Dog,” you can have too much of this number. The six-minute “Silver Screen Mix” is far more palpable. You’ve been warned. Also listening to either version will probably cause the chorus to be stuck in your head for about six hours.