B.A.D.
C’mon Every Beatbox (Extended Vocal Version)
Beatbox’s At Dawn
It’s a scientific fact that Mick Jones is the coolest motherfucker ever to sport a Stetson hat. Big Audio Dynamite (or B.A.D.) was his band that followed The Clash and was one of the first rock acts to fully embrace dance beats and extensive sampling, which are both evident and this extended mix of one of their best songs. The B-Side, ‘Beatbox’s At Dawn’ is a remix of that song.

Terry Reid
Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)
My first exposure to Terry Reid was on the soundtrack to Rob Zombie’s The Devil’s Rejects, I had never heard of him before. When I found out that he was Jimmy Page’s original choice for the lead singer of The New Yardbirds (the band that became Led Zeppelin) I was more than a little floored. I also read somewhere else that he turned down a spot in Deep Purple as well. Talk about your unfortunate career moves. This cover of the Sonny Bono-written classic (wow, never thought I’d say that) is the opening track to his debut album Bang Bang, You’re Terry Reid, which is out-of-print in America. The quality ain’t perfect, but the LP I got if from was really ‘Bang Bang’-ed up….man, that joke was bad even for me.

‘Bang Bang’ has been recorded by so many artists that it’s hard to figure out just who did it first. Sonny And Cher released their version in 1966, but so did Stevie Wonder. Since then it’s been covered by artists as diverse as Frank Sinatra, Petula Clark and Coil. The very that is most famous, and the one that was heard during the opening credits of Kill Bill, is sung by Nancy Sinatra.

Snakes On A Plane is awesome. Go see it.

Now on to the music.

Alphaville
Forever Young (Extended Mix)
Big In Japan (Extended Vocal Remix ’88)
Two synth-pop classics. There’s nothing I can say about these songs that hasn’t already been said. I feel the same way about Forever Young that I do about George Clinton’s ‘Atomic Dog’, I could listen to it forever. These are taken of an Alphaville Singles EP I bought, although they are available on tons of different Alphaville collections that are on CD.

Editors
Orange Crush (REM Cover)
I’m still in shock over how amazing Editors were at Lollapalooza. I was on the fence about them but they really convinced me they were the real deal and not another Joy Division knock off. This is another cover off of that Q: Best Of 86/06 CD.

Interpol
Not Even Jail (Daniel Kesser Remix)
Public Pervert (Carlos D Remix)
When I bought Interpol’s Antics I was battling a nasty sleep disorder that required me to sleep at the hospital for observation on several occasions. When you do a sleep study at the hospital they have you go to sleep at 10:00 and wake you at 4:00, and each time I made the trip Antics was in my car for some reason. It’s beautiful music to drive to, especially at 4:00 AM, when no one is on the road and the sidewalks are empty – it gives the entire world an ethereal out-of-this-world feeling. Of course, so does not sleeping for two days, but whatever. These are two remixes off that album that I found on a four-record set.

Oy. I’ve been busy as shit. First I had a Gary Numan concert in Detroit (which as totally fucking awesome) and then I was off to Chicago for Lollapalooza. Lollapalooza was a great show and I got to see some amazing bands (check out my photos here.)

Some highlights:
The lead singer of Be Your Own Pet headbanging so much she puked.
This chick.
This dude.
This sign.
Gnarls Barkley (’nuff said).
Meeting the dude from She Wants Revenge (I’m on the right…duh.)

So yea, busy couple of weeks. But I return with bitchin’ tunes from Chicago. I wanted to make this an all Lolla-related post, but I just got too much good shit to share. I’m going to try to make up for lost time and post a lot of stuff this week. Here’s some stuff for starters. I’m going to have to get a new turntable or turntable needle before I record any other vinyl though, it’s sucking up a storm.

Muse – Crying Shame
Muse – Plug In Baby (Live)
I had some misgivings about Muse’s new album since the single ‘Supermassive Black Hole’ was so much unlike anything I’ve ever heard them do. My doubts were put to rest when the album came out a few weeks ago – because it’s typical amazing Muse. I don’t know how Matt Belamy makes his guitar generate the noises it does, but when he does it right it sounds downright godly. ‘Crying Shame’ is the B-side to the picture-disc single of ‘Supermassive Black Hole’ and the live version of ‘Plug In Baby’ is off of the Symmetry Singles Box Set (which was never released here in America.) The original version of ‘Plug In Baby’ appeared on the album Origin Of Symmetry, which was released in 2001 in every country but America, where it didn’t appear until AFTER the follow-up Absolution proved to be a big hit. Plug In Baby is undoubtedly one of the best singles of all time, and it features one of the best guitar riffs ever recorded in the history of rock music. Had it been promoted and released in America I’m sure it would’ve skyrocketed up the charts and made the record company buckets of dough. And the RIAA wonders why record sales are down…

The New Pornographers – Your Daddy Don’t Know
This is off the soundtrack to a movie called FUBAR. I know nothing about the movie, but I sure as hell dig The New Pornographers. They were at Lollapalooza and even though they were lacking a Neko Case they still put on an incredible show. They closed with ‘Sing Me Spanish Techno’ which caused half of the audience (including me) to start one huge dance-train. It was one of the best concert experiences of my life. This song is a cover of someone, but I don’t know who.

Sex Pistols – God Save The Queen (Dance Mix)
The idea of a dance mix of one of the most influential and important punk songs of all time may be a little off-putting, but if give it a chance and you just might like it. This is off of the two-disc version of John Lydon’s Greatest Hits, which I scored this at the Virgin Megastore in Chicago, which is an awesome place if you love imports because they have an entire floor of them. If you know a lot about Lydon and his post Pistols work, this remix shouldn’t be much of a surprise. He did after all form the revolutionary post-punk dance group Public Image Limited in the late 70s, he collaborated with Afrika Bambaataa for the Time Zone project, and he has also worked with the dance music production team known as Leftfield on more than occasion. This remix is as minimalistic as a dance song can get and still have a beat, and gives you an idea of what The Sex Pistols’ catalog might have sounded like if recorded by Public Image Limited.

The Hardsonic Bottoms 3 – Do It Anyway You Wanna
I have no idea as to what this is. I picked it up a Jerry’s a while ago on a whim (it was only three bucks) and haven’t been able to find any information on it since. It’s some sort of bizarre dance song, probably from the mid-80s. It ain’t half bad (it ain’t half good either ) if anyone knows anything about it, let me know.

To the owner of Earth Pig Music,

Not all of the record stores I visited in Colorado were good, in fact some were downright bad – but yours is the only one that pissed me off enough for me to rant about it here.

Your store is a shit store. It’s such a shit store that I’m not going even to link to its site or mention what city its in (any poor unfortunate soul that wants to find it can use Google) The prices are shit, the locked-down display cases are shit and the you act like a shit bastard who always whines to his customers about his shit luck.

If I were to believe the shit that comes forth from your shit mouth, nobody buys records anymore and you can only stay afloat buy selling pot paraphernalia. Maybe if you didn’t cater your business to potheads you might be able to trust your customers, and not have to keep so much of your inventory under lock-and-key. You also say that you can’t have turntables for people to sample used records before they buy them because ‘people break them and they cost me $600.’ I don’t know where you are buying turntables, but if I ever spend that much money on one it better be able to blow me.

The most frustrating thing about your shit store is that it has the potential to be pretty good. Your selection isn’t completely awful, and you have a pretty good location from what I could gather – it’s your own stupidity holding you back. Your prices are so embarrassingly high it’s almost sad. Everything you sell is overpriced, from the new DVDS to the used records. Of course, if you let people sample the records before buying them (like every other record store in the world does) people might bite the bullet and shill out the extra dough, but since you’re convinced turntables cost $600 (what part of your ass did you pull that out of?) you’ll probably never give your customers that luxury.

And by the way, whining about how much your ‘Korean landlady’ screws you just isn’t professional at all. It makes you look like a seventh grader bitching about their parents not letting them smoke. The shit tales you spun about her were so tall (she ‘made you’ throw away half your inventory? Really? If that’s true then she’s not a bitch…you’re a fucking moron) I expected Paul Bunion and Babe the Ox to be involved.

Oh, and don’t brag about how much Pink Floyd stuff you sold after Syd Barrett died, that’s just tacky.

In despite of all these things you did have one record I had to buy, a BBC recording of a Joe Jackson concert. Lucky for you I’m a sucker for old-school Joe Jackson. I’m pissed that I ended up giving you some money, but the fact that I can rant about you shit store here, and save some other sucker 20 bucks by putting the album up for free, makes up for it.

sincerely,
The Lost Turntable

Joe Jackson – Live
Look Sharp
Cancer
Real Man
Friday
Breaking Us In Two
Chinatown
Target
T.V. Age
It’s Different For Girls
Steppin’ Out

Echo And The Bunnymen – Rollercoaster
Gene Loves Jezebel – Love Splice
I was recently in Colorado Springs visiting some family and gettin’ high (altitudes) and whenever I’m there I make sure to visit this bitchin’ store called The Leech Pit, a store that offers ‘Trend-Free Music, Clothing and Entertainment.’ While I’m sure their second-hand retro clothing selection is impressive (being both big and tall I don’t even bother looking at the clothes) I mainly go there to browse their totally radical LP collection.

A prime example of quality over quantity, The Leech Pit only has a few rows of records, but almost all of them are winners. If you dig punk, 80s rock, techno, soundtracks or anything unusual or obscure, you should totally check them out if you’re ever anywhere near Colorado Springs. I’ve picked up some amazing stuff there in the past, most of which has already been on this site or will be in the near future.

anyways, during this trip I scored big time. In addition to picking up an ultra-rare Woody Allen stand-up album and the soundtrack to a Japanese anime (Macross) I also bought a very unusual box set featuring three 12-inch singles by Echo & The Bunnymen, New Order and Gene Loves Jezebel. From what I can gather, it was only sold during their 1987 US tour and is unusual for a few reasons. Firstly, the Gene Loves Jezebel and Echo & The Bunnymen LPs have the exact same song on both the A and B sides (suspicion’ and ‘New Direction’, respectively) while the New Order differs from the other two and has two different versions of their song ‘True Faith’ (the radio edit and the LP version). Also, since each band was on different labels on the time, each record was produced by a different record label, which is something you almost never see (usually you one label produces the product and the disclaimer ‘blah blah appears courtesy of blah blah records’).

While all that is well and good, I wouldn’t have bought it if those were the only things that made it special. I mean, I like Echo & The Bunnymen and all, but I ain’t made of money. Fortunately, it also contained a bonus record, a floppy 10 inch (…woah, did that come out wrong…) with three songs, one by each band. The New Order song included on this little bonus record is ‘Shame Of The Nation’ and since that’s easily available on Substance I’m not including it here. However, the Echo & The Bunnymen track ‘Rollercoaster’ is only available on their box set The Crystal Years 1979-1999 and the Gene Loves Jezebel song ‘Fresh Slice’ isn’t available anywhere as far as I can tell. So for both of you Gene Love Jezebel fans out there, this is your lucky day!

As I said before, this bonus record was a 10 inch floppy (hehe..sorry, I’m a sucker for unintentional dick jokes) and it doesn’t really sound all that great. I did my best to clean it up, but the audio is still a little murky, so if anyone has any ideas on how to improve these tracks please let me know.

Jane’s Addiction – Been Caught Stealing (12-inch Remix)
Jane’s Addiction – Had A Dad (Demo Version)
I’m whipping out my big 12-inch record to compensate for my floppy little 10-incher. This version of ‘Been Caught Stealing’ is a little odd, with some silly break beats and random hoots and hollers thrown in the beginning of it for no good reason. The demo version of ‘Had A Dad’ is the B-side and it sounds a hell of a lot better than the version that was on Nothing’s Shocking, with much more energy and feeling behind it.

I’m not dead, I’m just in Colorado visiting my mom. I planned on updating the blog from here, but her main computer died and I’m using my stepdad’s which…well…sucks balls. Expect an update Sunday or Monday night. It’ll be a good one too, I picked up some swank shit in Bolder!

Two posts in one week!? I’m suddenly prolific!

Big Country – Wonderland (Extended Mix)
Big Country – Giant
I created this blog because of bands like Big Country. Anyone who’s only heard their sole American hit ‘In A Big Country’ and nothing else is really missing out on some of the best music of the ’80s. Big Country’s 1983 debut The Crossing is one of the defining albums of the New Wave movement – and it still holds up as an amazing record to this day. Their later stuff wasn’t as strong, but it was still better than a lot of the shit being shilled out by retards with too much Aquanet at the time. Despite the lackluster sales and mediocre recordings, they stuck together and in the 90s they released some really good live albums and a few critically-acclaimed studio ones too. Unfortunately, depression over the lack of sales and a longtime problem with alcohol caught up with lead singer/songwriter Stuart Adamson, and he killed himself in 2001, which puts ‘In A Big Country’ right up there with Badfinger’s ‘No Matter What’ as one of the most upbeat songs ever written by a dude that offed himself.

If that wasn’t enough of a downer, those dickless emo fuckers Dashboard Confessional recently recorded a cover of ‘In A Big Country’ (if you don’t value your ears you can check it out for yourself at Sessions@AOL.) I guess that whiney pussy-ass bitch got sick of butchering his own songs and decided to branch out and destroy someone else’s.

The version of Wonderland I’m putting up is twice as long as the original (which you can pick up on Big Country’s greatest hits collection) and I found it on the import version of the single, which was clear vinyl to boot. The B-side ‘Giant’ is a solid instrumental tune that’s never been released in the states in any form.

Down By Law – In A Big Country
I wasn’t going to post this, but fuck it, Dashboard Confessional really pissed me off. If you want a good cover of ‘In A Big Country’ check this one out by this L.A. punk band. This is off their greatest hits.

Pete Townshend – Pinball Wizard (Live)
Pete Townshend & John Williams – We Won’t Get Fooled Again (Live)
I don’t need to go off on how awesome Pete Townshend is, you already know. These songs were performed live for an Amnesty International benefit called The Secret Policeman’s Ball. I normally wouldn’t post tracks from a charity album, but it’s been out of print for a while.

It’s a bird…it’s a plane…it’s my shameless attempt at being relevant in order to get more hits!

Superman Returns is finally in theatres and I thought I’d capitalize….er, I mean celebrate with this quick post showcasing two of my favorite Superman-related songs.

Vinyl Syndicate – Man Of Steal
A drum and bass mix of the main Superman theme. It’s taken from Aphrodite’s 1999 mix album Urban Jungle. Not much to say about this one, other than it’s really cool and I dig it. I had an idea for a music video for this song the first time I heard it. It involved flying ravers and a lot of glowsticks. And before you ask, no I wasn’t on ecstasy at the time.

I was on ketamine.

Meco -Themes From Superman
I have to respect a guy like Meco. Not because of his artistic ability (I don’t even think Disco Stu could do that) but because of his amazing ability to cash in on other people’s success. This is the dude that recorded a disco version of the Star Wars theme just months after the movie came out – and scored a massive hit (and the admiration of John Williams!!) in the process. Riding high off that success (and another John Williams soundtrack to a hit movie) Meco recorded Superman And Other Galactic Heroes the following year. Sadly, Meco wasn’t able to have lightning strike twice, and the album wasn’t nearly as successful as his smash-hit take on Star Wars.

Much like his Star Wars music, Meco’s ‘Themes From Superman’ isn’t really ‘good’ in the traditional sense, but more interesting in a ‘what the fuck is going on?!?!’ kind of way. I have a bizarre fascination with the music of Meco, and have nearly all of his albums. I might post some more of his stuff later.

WARNING: This is a long track (15 minutes) and a big file.
ADDITIONAL WARNING: Prolonged exposure to the music of Meco has been known to cause paralysis, mental instability and in some rare cases, death. Listen at your own risk.

Duran Duran – Perfect Day (Acoustic Version)
Duran Duran – White Lines (Oakland Funk Mix)
Duran Duran – Needle And the Damage Done
Before I begin, I have to apologize for a mistake made in my last posting. Q wasn’t the magazine that gave Def Leppard’s Yeah! a one star rating – it was NME.

I must’ve just thought it was Q Magazine because everytime I’ve had the misfortune of reading that ratshit mag I’ve been amazed by the shit they decide to print. For example, a few months ago they made a “50 Worst Albums Of All Time” list, and with it went any credibility they ever had.

First off, they should’ve called this list “The 50 Worst high-profile albums of All Time” because as anyone who has ever had to review CDs for a college newspaper will tell you, there are literally HUNDREDS of shitty CDs released by shit bands that never get any promotion or radio airplay, but still manage to end up in your inbox. I ended up hearing what I thought the worst album of all time was when I was working there -an EP by a lame ass rap-rock band named Marz which featured the classy tune “I need a bitch I can fuck in the mud.”

Yeah man, chicks totally dig it when you talk like that. You’re totally gonna score tonight.

So, not even taking into account all those shitty albums I had to wade through during my early years as a music critic, Q’s list still unacceptable. Great albums by Beck, Oasis and Fisherspooner populate the list, as do perfectly mediocre albums by Alanis Morisette, Lauryn Hill and The Cranberries. Also, including William Shatner’s The Transformed Man is just too damn easy.

Most insulting though was their number one pick for the worst album of all-time: Duran Duran’s 1993 cover album Thank You. Granted, it ain’t exactly art and some of the tracks (such as their unfortunate cover of Public Enemy’s ‘911 Is A Joke’) are awful, but Thank You does have two songs that are simply amazing – and that fact alone should remove it from any ‘worst of all time list’. Their cover of Lou Reed’s ‘Perfect Day’ is almost as beautiful and touching as the original, and their rousing take on Grandmaster Mel’s ‘White Lines’ is one of the best dance songs of the early 90s – and it was even the basis for one of the funniest scenes in Shaun Of The Dead!

Thank You may not be a great album by any means, but I can think of a lot of bands and artists that have made worse…much, much worse. How about Limp Bizkit, Korn, Naomi Campbell, David Bowie, T.A.T.U, Coldplay, Roger Waters, Alice Deejay, STP, The Beach Boys, Metallica, The Beta Band, Black Sabbath, Butthole Surfers, Cheap Trick, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Ramones, Fear, Gary Numan, Girls Against Boys, INXS, Kylie Minogue, Madonna, Moby, Candlebox, Sponge, Public Enemy, Run DMC, Tori Amos, U2, Underworld, The Who and Weezer?

Don’t get me wrong, I love most of the artists on that list, but even the most die-hard Bowie fans have to admit that his late-80s stuff was pure drivel, and even the best bands (The Ramones, Run DMC, U2) have some stinkers in their repertoire. There’s also crap vanity projects like Tori Amos’ Strange Little Girls (also a cover album) that really defy all logic and good taste, as well as albums by people who have no business being in a recording studio (Naomi Campbell, David Hasslehoff, Don Johnson…the list goes on and on.) And I can’t forget Starship’s Knee Deep In The Hoopla, which features the painfully bad ‘We Built This City,’ a song I declared to be the worst song of all time years before VH1 and Blender decided the same thing. I have written proof too!

But don’t let my misguided rant convince you, let the tunes do the talking. Two of the above Duran Duran songs are remixes or alternate versions of tracks that originally appeared on Thank You. My favorite is the acoustic version of ‘Perfect Day’, but any version of ‘White Lines’ should be worth your attention as well. I’ve also included their surprisngly emotional and powerful take on Neil Young’s ‘Needle And The Damage Done’ which was the B-Side to ‘Perfect Day’. All of these tracks were taken of off Duran Duran’s ludicrously excessive 14-disc singles box set, before then they were only available on vinyl 12′ singles. Unlike me, you’re probably quite sane and don’t own either, so enjoy.

Okay, so I have to record some good singles and remix albums I picked up, but I’m incredibly lazy. So, in blatant disregard to my own rules, this post is consists completely of songs that were ripped off CDs. They’re all pretty hard to find though, which totally makes it okay, right?

Well, I don’t care what you think. Shaddup and just listen to the music.

Arcade Fire – Brazil
This is a cover of a Kate Bush song that was originally in the Terry Gilliam movie of the same name. Arcade Fire + Kate Bush + Terry Gilliam = totally awesome. This is the B-side to ‘Rebellion (Lies)’.

Artic Monkeys – Chun Li’s Spinning Bird Kick
You only need to know three things about this track:
1. It’s the B-Side to ‘I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor.’
2. It’s an instrumental jam
3. It’s the only song I’ve ever heard named after a special move in Street Fighter II.

Magnificent Bastards – Mockingbird Girl
This is a song you’ve never heard of from a soundtrack you didn’t buy to a movie you didn’t see based on a comic book you didn’t read – Tank Girl. The song, soundtrack, movie and comic book all kicked ass, so whatever man, it’s totally your loss. Anyways, The Magnificent Bastards were Scott Weiland’s short-lived side-project that never really got off the ground (heroin does have a tendancy to do things like that.) He re-recorded the track a few years later for his solo album, but this version is much better. I’d love to hear Velvet Revolver’s take on this one!

Bjork – State Of Emergency (Alec Empire State Of Emergency Mix)
The first time I heard this it was on a ridiculous compilation called Y2K that was full of generic techno tracks by artists like Apollo 440 and The Prodigy. This was a big exception – Alec Empire (of Atari Teenage Riot) took this beautiful Bjork track and slowly deconstructed the fuck out of it, transforming it into a beautiful cavalcade of random noise and breakbeats. Don’t listen it to this with headphones, it will make your head explode.

Cheap Trick – Day Tripper (Live)
This is one of the few good Beatles covers I have ever heard. It’s not surprising though, as Cheap Trick is one of the best bands in the history of pop music and lead singer Robin Zander could probably sing damn near anything and make it sound good. This is off of the now out-of-print box set Sex, America, Cheap Trick. By the way, their new CD is their best work since Dream Police, pick it up.

Sugarbabes – I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor
I got this friend, her name’s Lisa. Lisa LOVES the Brits. Lisa buys NME, Mojo, Uncut, Q and all those other ridiculous British mags. I’m not a fan of the British press, they get way too excited way to easily, and their stupid cheeky senses of humor frequently get in the way of good writing (like in the latest issue of Q that gave Def Leppard’s surprisingly good CD Yeah! a zero rating just so they could give it a one-word review “Nah!” Grow up already.) However, when they have free CD compilations they’re usually pretty good. The latest issue of Q (the one that included that shitty Def Leppard review) included a CD full of covers and this cover of The Artic Monkeys by electro-pop dance group The Sugarbabes was by far the CD’s standout track.