Bigger ain’t always better, but in the case of some songs, too much is never enough. Here are some of my best extended cuts.

George Clinton – Atomic Dog (Super Awesome Extended Version)
There are some songs that are really good but just a little too long. There are other songs that sound good the first time you hear them but get really old after a while. George Clinton’s ‘Atomic Dog’ is neither. I could rock out to this jam everyday for a year and not get sick of it, and to me no version is long enough. This extended cut is off of an import 12-inch I recently picked up and clocks in at nearly 10 minutes! That’s twice as long as the regular version! That’s twice as much “bow-wow-wows!” That’s twice as much 1st degree funk from Lord Funkenstein!! Need I say more?

Art Of Noise – Peter Gunn (Extended Remix)
A great remix of a great song. Peter Gunn is one of the most recognizable songs in the world, so if someone is going to re-record it they better do something really good with it. Art Of Noise sure as hell did. Help from Duane Eddy, the guy that played guitar on it the first time around, probably didn’t hurt either. Strickingly faithful to the original version with enough panache and unique-but-not-annoying samples thrown in to spice things up (that synth-voice effect is AWESOME), this just might be the best cover of the 80s. This extended version comes from the 12-inch single, although the version on Art Of Noise’s greatest hits album is even longer.

Art Of Noise – Paranoia (Extended Version)
Ah, an Art Of Noise song featuring Max Headroom…how 80s can it get? I feel like I should be playing my NES and spraying my hair with Aquanet before heading off to see Can’t Buy Me Love. As a child of the 80s, I was slightly obsessed with Max Headroom during his short time in the limelight, and was totally in love with the TV show (which didn’t even last two seasons and has yet to be released on DVD…bastards) but the whole craze around him confuses me to this day. And when I found out he wasn’t really computer-generated, but just Matt Frewer in heavy prostetics, a part of me died. This song came out in 1986, during the height of Max Headroom mania, and this extended cut also seems to be available on The Art Of Noise greatest hits collection

Queen – Radio Ga Ga (Extended Version)
I really don’t have anything to say about this other than it’s a kick ass song. This version is from the 12-inch single, and has a pretty gnarly jump about 20 seconds in that I couldn’t fix. Sorry about that.

I haven’t posted in over a week, sorry about that. My damn life keeps getting in the way. I’ve picked up so much good vinyl this week that I’m backlogged like a motherfucker. Stuff I keep wanting to get on here keeps getting pushed back with newer, better stuff. All of the following are off of one AMAZING comp I picked up called Revenge Of The Killer B’s, which was a collection of various B-sides from Warner Bros. artists, including The Pretenders, Madonna, Marshall Crenshaw and these guys below:

Depeche Mode – Sometimes I Wish I Was Dead
This is so upbeat and happy (despite the title) that it totally does not sound like a Mode song. I don’t know much about it, but it was recorded back with Vince Clark of Yaz fame was still in the band. I could totally see some New Romantic lookin’ dudes rocking out to this.

Talking Heads – I Wish You Wouldn’t Say That
Sometimes a band is so on fire that even the songs that don’t make the record are breathtaking (Pearl Jam circa 1991 and Radiohead circa 1997 both leap to mind)Recorded in ’77 when the band could do no wrong, this song has everything that makes the Talking Heads kick ass. This track is also available on their box set and their two-disc greatest hits package.

Echo And The Bunnymen – Way Out And Up We Go
My second Echo and The Bunnymen B-side! That makes me so happy. The more I hear of Echo And The Bunnymen the more I fall absolutely in love with them. According to the linear notes on Return Of The Killer B’s it was the B-side to ‘The Cutter’ and while it’s totally not as good as that song, it’s still pretty bitchin’.

In addition to those kick-ass jams I got some more for you:

Paul Hardcastle: 19 (Destruction Mix)
Now I’m totally getting political on your ass. I was born in 1979, right after the Vietnam War and I can tell you that it was a weird time. For people my age Vietnam seemed about as far away as World War II most of the time. With the scars pretty fresh in most people’s minds, no one really talked about it, and especially not to kids. But then something like Paul Hardcastle’s 19 would slam its way into the mainstream and would jar you into the reality that we were just a decade removed from one of the most controversial and deadly conflicts in American history. This mix adds some more vocals to the track, but its still just as effective.

M – Pop Musik (Long Version)
And now for something completely different! For me, “Pop Musik” is one of those songs that could just go on forever and I’d be happy. So imagine my delight in finding this “Long Version” maxi-single. Unfortunately, it’s not really the long version, it’s just not the short version (which was the version released as the single.) This track is readily available on M’s first album New York – London – Paris – Munich and countless compilations. Still, it’s such a great song I had to put it on here.

Hopefully that epic post might make up for the recent slump. I should have more for you guys (all three dozen of you) later this week.

System Of A Down – Johnny
Funny for me because my brother is named Johnny, and he has an unusually high voice that Serj from SOAD remarkably emulates here. Funny for the rest of you because it’s just a really messed up song. This is the B-Side to Chop Suey.

John Trubee – Blind Man’s Penis
I…don’t know what this is. I picked up the Enigma Variations a few weeks ago (mostly for the TSOL rariety – which will be in my next post) and I stumbled upon this clusterfuck of a single. I can honestly say I’ve never heard anything like it, of course I’ve never heard anything like a cat being beaten to death by rabid bunnies either. This was only released as a single and isn’t available anywhere…I wonder why.

Soundgarden – Like Suicide (Acoustic Version)
While my friends were rocking out to Pearl Jam and Nirvana, I was headbanging my junior high ass to Soundgarden’s Superunknown. As a reformed metalhead they served as a good gateway band to the ‘alternative’ scene. This acoustic version of the final track off the epic album is from some bizarre five track sampler called Songs From Superunknown.

Skunk Anansie – Rise Up (Bonhamoon Mix)
A lot of bands don’t make it because of bad timing, lousy PR or just crummy luck. I wish that was the case with Skunk Anansie, but they just never really made a solid album. Sure, they had good songs, like ‘Selling Jesus’ and ‘Secretly’, but none of their albums ever felt cohesive or complete, usually losing steam about two-thirds of the way through. Also, the fact that their lead singer was a militant black skinhead bisexual chick didn’t help either. Rise Up was a decent track off of Paranoid And Sunburnt, their first album, but this remixed version off of the Weak As I Am CD single greatly improves it with some killer beats and some strange mandolin guitar thrown in. After SA broke up their lead singer (who goes by the name Skin) released a solo album that was primarly love ballads. Much like SA’s CDs, it was half good and half blah.

So I went to see They Might Be Giants at the lovely Mr. Smalls Theatre which is located right outside of downtown Pittsburgh and I overhear the following conversation behind me:

Pony Tail Nerd: “So, what are we doing after the show?”

Skinny Geek: “I don’t know, I really wanna go to the nearest International House Of Pancakes, but that’s 63 miles to the west of here and I don’t think anyone else is gonna go with me!”

Pony Tail Nerd: “But that’s a really good IHOP!”

Skinny Geek: “I Know!!”

A series of questions ran through my head after hearing that:

• How do you know it’s exactly 63 miles away, did you Mapquest it?
• Is there such a thing as a ‘really good IHOP?
• Don’t you know there’s a Denny’s right down the street?

I ddin’t get a chance to ask any him any of those questions, because immediately after he said that TMBG came on stage. Maybe he knew the girl that Lewis Black overheard at the IHOP who said “If it wasn’t for my horse, I would’ve never have gotten through that year in college,” and he was going to meet her there and they were going to discuss the benefits of equine ownership.

Don’t think about either statement too much, your head will explode and you’ll die. And I don’t want you to die.

I love you.

And I need the hits.

Anways, here’s some songs from Club Epic 5, a compilation from Epic Records that features some good dance remixes.

Cyndi Lauper – She Bop (Remix
A happy-go-lucky dance song about how much masturbation kicks ass sung by a freaky looking redhead with a crazy New York accent.

Dead Or Alive – Brand New Lover (Remix)
A happy-go-lucky dance song about needing to sleep with someone else to drown the pain of a bad relationship sung by the most androgynous man ever.

Romeo Void – A Girl In Trouble (Is a Temporary Thing) (Dance Remix
A…really weird-ass song that doesn’t belong on a dance compilation. Sung by a big chick with an even bigger voice. (I refuse to call Deborah Iyall a ‘fat chick’)

I don’t have much to say about these bands. I dig both X and Gang Of Four but have only recently got into them. As for Skafish, Magazine, 999, The Fleshtones and the rest, I’ll be totally honest and say I haven’t heard or seen them outside of Urgh!

I would like to take this time to thank all of you who have been coming to my blog the past few weeks to get these songs. I hope you all continue to visit the site in the coming weeks and months, because they good stuff ain’t stopping here! I got some great soundtracks and rarities from New Order, Joe Jackson and Agent Orange coming in the next few weeks, and I’ll also be featuring some tracks from another long out of print concert classic, The Decline Of Western Civilization.

Until then, enjoy the fourth (and final) side from the Urgh! LP.
Fleshtones – Shadow Line
Gang Of Four – He’d Send In The Army
John Otway – Cheryl’s Going Home
999 – Homicide
X – Beyond And Back
Magazine – Model Worker
Skafish – Sign Of The Cross

The files should be back up now. Sorry about that. I’m not used to people actually visitng my blog!

Another thing I have to clarify. I don’t claim to be a die-hard audiophile, and I really can’t tell the difference between 128kb and 256kb on vinyl rips. I do, however, know that the 256kb MP3s take up a shitload more space and eat up my transfer rates. If anyone has ideas to increase quality without making the files freaking HUGE let me know

Someone just reminded me that I forgot the Oingo Boingo track from side one. Oops.

Oingo Boingo – Ain’t This The Life

A quick note: I was unhappy with the quality of the first two sides, so I re-recorded them. These new recordings are available to download now.

Alright, it’s time for side 3 of the Urgh! soundtrack, my favorite side of the album, featuring a few of my favorite artists of all-time.

Devo – Uncontrollable Urge
Ah, Devo, the best thing to come ouf of Ohio since…well…probably ever (I should know I’m from the freaking shithole). They made lampshades and jumpsuits cool, created some of the best videos ever and even managed to piss off Gloria “I give left-wingers and feminists a bad name” Steinam, because she thought the video to Whip It was sexist. That’s like, some awesome triple-crown of rocking out in my book.

Echo And The Bunnymen – The Puppet
I’ve already mentioned that Echo And The Bunnymen are probably the best-named band of all time (Number 2: Butthole Surfers, Number 3: Deadboy & The Elephant Men) and they are also one of the best bands of the decade. I sadly did not discover them until seeing Donnie Darko a few years ago, and I don’t know how I made it so long without them. They’re like a less-depressing version of The Cure to me.

The Au Pairs – Come Again
I don’t know much about The Au Pairs, but any left-wing political post-punk band fronted by a liberal feminist lesbian has my vote. This MP3 has some skips in it, but it’s the best I could do, it’s the only one on my album that’s scratched. If anyone has a better copy email me and I’ll replace the link.

The Cramps – Tear It Up
They practically invented ‘Psychobilly’ music and did it better than anyone else ever did (Sorry Rev. Horton Heat fans.) This freaky live cut shows that lead singer Lux Interior moans into a microphone like nobody’s business. His freakish gyrating and aural antics create one of the highlights of Urgh! and it is his incredibly intense face that graces the cover of the VHS release.

Joan Jett & The Blackheats – Bad Reputation
Sure, almost all of her greatest hits were covers…but they were really good covers. I don’t think anyone could do better versions of “Crimson & Clover”, “Do You Wanna Touch Me”, and of course, “I Love Rock ‘N’ Roll” than Joan Jett did. Her newer stuff is surprisingly solid too, with her X-rated hard-rocker “Fetish” from 1999 a career highlight.

Pere Ubu – Birdies
Without Pere they’d be no Frank Black. Okay, well maybe not – but Pere was the FIRST pudgy bald punk-rocker to make an impact on the music scene. I don’t know much about the Cleveland native, but everything I’ve heard I’ve like.

Gary Numan – Down In The Park
Time for me to gush uncontrollably. To say I love Gary Numan is an understatement. He’s probably the most underrated musician of his generation, and anyone who calls him a one-hit-wonder needs a serious kick in the crotch. His first three albums are three of the best electronic albums ever recorded, and without his amazing influence modern rock music would be a very different place. He’s been unfairly viewed as pretentious and selfish, when in actually he has a mild form of autism called Asperger’s Syndrome which severely hurts his social skills.

He did hit a pretty bad career slump that lasted through the second half of the 80s and into the 90s, but his reinvention as a gothic/industrial artist sparked a creative rebirth in his music that continues into his most recent release, the very excellent Jagged. If you’re looking to get into Gary Numan, the 1997 greatest hits comp Premier Hits is a good starting point. I could gush about the genius of Gary Numan all night so I’m just going to stop now. But this isn’t the last time Gary Numan will grace Lost Turntable…not by a long shot.

One of my favorite songs from Urgh! is “Where’s Captain Kirk?” by Athletico Spizz 80. A band I had never heard of before seeing the film, and became completely obsessed with shortly thereafter.

If all you know about Athletico Spizz ’80 is their appearance on Urgh!, then they can be a pretty hard band to track down online. It seems that there are a lot of bands with the name Spizz in them, such as Spizzles, Spizzerengi Spizzoil, Spizzorwell, Spizzsexual, and Spizzvision. That’s odd, you may think, until you find out that all of those bands are really just a dude named Spizz and whoever was playing with him at the time. Spizz’s stuff is great and is worth checking out if you can find it, but his penchant for changing his name can make it a little difficult.

It also makes Googling the bastard a real bitch.

The late, great Klaus Nomi makes an appearance on side 2 of Urgh! with his signature track ‘Total Eclipse’ as do first-generation Ska-rockers The Members with ‘Offshore Banking Business. Obscure L.A. punk rockers Alley Cats add a solid track to the mix with ‘Nothing Means Nothing Anymore’, and Jools Holland from Squeeze contributes a fun jazzesque tune with ‘Foolish I Know.’ Steel Pulse’s ‘Klu Klux Klan’ is a kicking reggae jam if you’re into that kind of thing (I’m not) and we all know The Go-Go’s signature hit ‘We Got The Beat’ – a song I can’t hate no matter how much I try.

Side three, which features three of my favorite bands of all-time, will be coming later this week. Enjoy side 2.

The Members – Offshore Banking Business
Go-Go’s – We Got The Beat
Total Eclipse – Klaus Nomi
Athletico Spizz ’80 – Where’s Captain Kirk
Alley Cats – Nothing Means Nothing Anymore
Jools Holland – Foolish I Know
Steel Pulse – Klu Klux Klan

I’m a fan of obscure music, 80s post-punk/new wave, and rare and hard-to-find movies, so a flick like Urgh! is the holy grail to me.

This amazing concert film featured live performances by a virutal who’s-who of 80s legends, including Gary Numan, The Police, X, Oingo Boingo and Wall Of Voodoo – and has of course been nearly impossible to find for years. I first heard of it years ago but couldn’t locate a copy until recently, when I found a ratty old VHS copy of it buried on the bottom shelf of my local video store (the amazing Head’s Together Video – located at 2121 Murray Ave. Pittsburgh, PA). Since then I’ve seen several DVD bootlegs, and I honestly think that most of them were taken from the actual video tape at Head’s Together – since they feature the same tracking problems as that worn-down tape. I’m told there was a laserdisc release once, but I’ve never seen it. The movie remains unreleased on DVD, and the latest rumors on the internet credit this to some bizarre legal issue involving home video rights. Other people have blamed its long status in limbo on Gary Numan’s withholding his performance material (I can’t find any evidence supporting that, however)

Making matters even worse, the complete soundtrack has never been available. The original vinyl release contained 27 of the 34 songs featured in the film, and the CD release cut that list down to just 21! Of course the CD is out of print, and the vinyl is amazingly hard to find.

But that’s where I come in! For the next few days I’ll be posting selections from the Urgh! soundtrack, taken from my pristine copy of the LP. I’ll be posting one album side at a time.

So without further delay, here’s side one:

The Police – Driven To Tears
Wall Of Voodoo – Back In Flesh
Toyah Wilcox – Dance
Orchestral Manoeuvers In The Dark – Enola Gay
XTC – Respectable Street

Isn’t that some amazing shit? Stay tuned for tracks from Joan Jett, X, Gary Numan, Gang Of Four and much more in the days and weeks to come. I’ll also be posting links to where you can find out more about this amazing diamond in the rough.