Someone pointed out to me that the MP3 of ‘The Puppet’ from The Urgh! Soundtrack was gone. It’s back now. I don’t know what happened, maybe it hopped away. I’ll have a real update later tonight/early Friday.

In celebration of Lucas finally getting off of his bearded ass and releasing the original version of the Star Wars Trilogy on DVD, I present these classic Star Wars-inspired songs. If you want to hear more crazy Star Wars music, buy anything by Meco. All of these have some tiny skips in them – but I’m not picking these because of their audio quality, I’m picking them because they are a lot of fun.

(Also, I’m not claiming that I created that image on the right, but I do know it’s the greatest fucking picture ever put on the internet. If you can’t see it, click on it for a better view.)

The Story Of Star Wars
Return Of The Jedi – Side 1
Return Of The Jedi – Side 2
This album features dialogue and music from Return Of The Jedi and adds narration to it, telling the entire story of the movie in about 40 minutes or so. They’re kind of silly but I loved these kinds of records when I was a kid. I had a few Star Wars ones and I’m pretty sure I had the Tron one too. What’s really cool about them is that they usually came with a nifty book that had pictures and stills from the movie in them, which is really cool when you’re five and can’t read all the words next to them.

The Electric Moog Orchestra
Star Wars Main Title
Imperial Attack
Moog is nerdy. Star Wars is nerdy. Collecting LPs is nerdy, so combined this is probably the nerdiest thing I own. Actually, it’s one of the best Moog records I own (which, sadly, really is saying something) and its not just because the source material is outstanding – it’s actually a really fun album. It’s one of the few Moog records I don’t just listen to because of the novelty factor.

Patrick Gleeson
Star Wars Theme
Catina Music
To see how Star Wars music can be done WRONG with electronic instruments, check out these tracks. Actually that’s kind of mean, while the Star Wars Theme is pretty awful, the Catina Music still manages to retain its charm even in this version. Patrick Gleeson was a pretty good synth musician, and even worked with Herbie Hancock once. Read about him (and see some of his amazingly bad album covers) here.

Duran Duran – Save A Prayer
It’s weird how I managed to stumble upon all three Secret Policeman’s Ball records in the course of a couple of weeks. These amazing concerts (which were charity events for Amnesty International) featured some amazing performances from Eric Clapton, Sting, Bob Geldof and Pete Townshend. The third one was probably the most pop-friendly of the bunch, featuring tracks by Erasure, Nik Kershaw and other 80s pop stars. 80s pop stars don’t get much bigger than Duran Duran of course and this slow acoustic version of one of their best songs is probably the highlight of the third album.

Kate Bush (With David Gilmour) – Running Up That Hill
Scratch that, this is the highlight of the third Policeman’s Ball album. Kate Bush has one of the most beautiful voices ever to grace this tiny insignificant planet. She’s like some short of little British siren. I’ve heard her voice has a four-octave range and I believe it. As if a live recording of one of her best songs isn’t great enough, David Gilmour (of Pink Floyd) plays guitar on it. I read that she joined him on stage for his last tour and together they performed Comfortably Numb. If anyone out there knows where a recording of that is available let me know and I’ll repay you…with something. Maybe I’ll beat someone up for you or something (I’ve always wanted to break into the hired goon business after all.)

There’s a small skip in the beginning of this one, I did my best to get it out but there’s still a few seconds missing, it’s before Kate starts singing though and its barely noticeable.

Herbie Hancock – Megamix
I tend to shy away from ‘Megamixes’ because in their attempt to capture the great moments from 4 or 5 songs they usually just end up creating one really bad song (the same goes for medleys too). This is the exception to the rule. Also, since most of it consists of ‘Rockit’ (the best electronic song of the 80s) its all good.

David Kubinec – Another Long Ranger
Yet another track from that insane Propaganda compilation album. I have no idea who David Kubinec is and I don’t think any of his albums are available on CD. If his other songs were of this quality then that’s a big bummer.

Garyn Numan – Radio Heart
This is a real oddity. The song was only available on a single, which was credited to ‘Radio Heart featuring Gary Numan.’ From what I all intensive purposes this is a Gary Numan track, and the name trickery might have been an attempt to counter Numan’s decreasing popularity at the time. The song is alright, but is not one of Numan’s best.

Granati Brothers – Go Crazy (Live)
Another live track from the Propaganda (previously mentioned here) compilation album. I never heard of these guys before and I’m having a hard time finding anything else by them other than an album from 2002 (which sounds pretty damn good.) Anyone got any info on these guys?

Bob Geldof & Johnny Fingers – I Don’t Like Mondays (Live)
This is from The Secret Policeman’s Other Ball, the second Policeman’s Ball concert that was set up to help Amnesty International in the early 80s. While this one was sadly Pete Townshend-less, it’s still pretty good and anything with ‘I Don’t Like Mondays’ is okay in my book. I have no idea who Johnny Fingers is, however.

Sting – Roxanne (Live)
Okay, I usually fucking hate this song, but this version (also from The Secret Policeman’s Other Ball) is actually pretty good. It’s just Sting and his guitar stripping the song to its bare bones. There’s a skip in here about 45 seconds in, but I could not get it out no matter how hard I tried, it’s only one line.

Meco – Ewok Celebration
This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard and I absolutely love it. I’ve talked about Meco before and considering how many Meco albums I’ve managed to collect through the years this probably won’t be the last time either. His big hit was a disco take on the Star Wars theme and he continues to milk that to this day. What really makes this funkyfied version of the Ewok Celebration stand out is the absolutely batshit INSANE Ewok rap that closes it out. This album also has a surprisingly faithful version of ‘The Theme to Simon & Simon’ on it. Please don’t ask me why, I have no fucking clue. I do know, thanks to this AMAZING Meco fansite, that Kenny G contributed to this album, making it the best thing Kenny G has ever done by default.

I love being mentioned by other blogs out there and feel free to spread the word of my amazingly awesome blog anyone you know. However, DO NOT directly link files from my blog on your own blogs. Please just give a link to my blog. I pay a lot of money to have reliable bandwidth and all I aks in exchange for it is that people visit and enjoy this page.

Also, if I see someone doing it again I’ll replace the files with hardcore fisting videos or some shit like that.

ZZ Top – Sleeping Bag
When I was a kid I totally loved ZZ Top. Looking back, their combination of synth-pop and blues probably served as a gateway drug from 80s pop music to 70s classic rock. This remix of Sleeping Bag is more of the former than the later, but its still fun (and that cover is really something else.) Now if I could just find an extended remix of “Pearl Necklace” I’d be set.

New Edition (Muzak) – Funky Town
I bought an album by the MUZAK corporation, surprise – it sucked. The only highlight was this immensely stupid version of an immensly stupid song, Lipps Inc.’s ‘Funky Town.” I can honestly say I’ve never heard this in a mall.

Pete Townshend – Save It For Later (Live)
I post a lot of covers on this blog, but if you want more check out Copy, Right? an MP3 blog that is solely dedicated to covers. This cover of The English Beat hit was originally released on Townshend’s live album Deep End Live, it’s not rare or particually hard to find, I just really like it. What’s really interesting about this cover is that it inspired Pearl Jam to include sometimes when they perform Betterman live, since both songs are coicidentally very similar.

AFX
Remix 1
Remix 2
These are two remixes by AFX. I wish I could tell you more but that’s all the 12-inch vinyl said. Of course, I know that AFX is in reality Aphex Twin (AKA Richard D. James AKA Blue Calx AKA Bradley Strider AKA Caustic Window AKA Gak AKA…I could do this forever.) I don’t know what these are remixes of, or even if they are remixes of anything, but I do dig them so. I swear the second one samples Missile Command, and if I’m right that’s totally rad.

Here She Comes – Bonnie Tyler
In what has to be one of the most colossally stupid and needless ideas in the history of all things, the silent sci-fi classic Metropolis was re-released in theatres in the 80s with new color tinting and an amazingly 80s soundtrack with songs by Billy Squier, Loverboy, Freddie Mercury and this power-ballad by Bonnie ‘Total Eclipse Of The Heart’ Tyler. I like 80s music, and I like Fritz Lang movies, but some things just don’t belong together. I shudder to think what might have happened if this little experiment turned into a colossal hit, imagine other silent classics like The Last Laugh and The Kid remixed to feature tracks by bands like Falco and Culture Club.

The Police – Landlord
The Police -Next To You
Remember when Sting was punk? Nah, me neither (of course, I wasn’t alive then). Next To You is an early Police fav, while Landlord was never released on a studio album, only occasionally popping up on live recordings and box sets. These songs should serve as a shock to those that only know Sting for ‘Desert Rose’ and all the other pussy shit he’s put out lately. These live recordings are from an amazing compilation album called Propaganda, which had the most radical cover of all time (yes, that’s Mao Tse Tung) and also featured some rare tracks by The Reds, Joe Jackson and Squeeze. I’ll probably post some more of it later.

Depeche Mode – Work Hard (East End Remix)
It wouldn’t be a post on The Lost Turntable without a remix of an 80s tune. This was the B-side to ‘Everything Counts.’

TV On The Radio – You Could Be Love
TV On The Radio’s new album comes out in the states in a week or so. It’s been available in the UK for over a month. I picked up the import and its pretty good. If you didn’t like their debut album though it sure as hell ain’t going to convert you. In celebration of that upcoming release, here is a rare track that was only released on the vinyl version of Desperate You, Blood Thirsty Babes.

Tom Robinson – 1967
I got a lot of positive feedback for posting ‘Glad To Be Gay’ earlier this week so here’s Tom’s other track from that same album.

A while ago I posted the entire Urgh! soundtrack. I know people sell bootlegs of that soundtrack for insane amounts on eBay and shit, so those MP3s will only go away if I get a cease and desist letter. Go get them if you want them.
Side One
(One More Song from Side One)
Side Two
Side Three
Side Four

I mention this because I have more. I was disconnecting my VCR from my computer tonight and before I did so I decided to record some of the songs that were in the movie but not on the vinyl soundtrack. I also decided to do this because I’m an attention whore and I want more hits.
Hits are like crack.
The following MP3s are not of the best quality, but they’re listenable.
Surf Punks – Go Home
Dead Kennedys – Bleed For Me
John Cooper Clarke – Health Fanatic
Chelsea – I’m On Fire

And now for something slightly different.
Tom Robinson – Glad To Be Gay
It would take balls for someone to record a song like this now, and it really took even more balls for Tom Robinson to do it in 1978. Its too bad that he peaked with his first album. Also, he married a woman a few years ago(!!) This is taken from The Secret Policeman’s Ball soundtrack (which I previously featured here), which was a benefit concert for Amnesty International.

In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been upping the number of posts I do here. I have a feeling my complete lack of posting had me loose a large portion of my audience. So if you’re still reading this stuff and digging the tunes let me know, and maybe shoot me some recommendations too!

White Stripes – You’ve Been Striped
I picked this up at The Leech Pit, and I know nothing about it. It’s a remix of ‘Seven Nation Army’ done up all techno and big-beat. For some reason the vinyl is labeled as ‘You’ve Been Striped.’ Also, it has a Trojan logo on it. I think it would’ve been awesome if it came in a GIANT condom wrapper, but alas that was not the case. Its the only track on the LP (it’s one-sided) and there is not copyright info on it at all. I’m at a total loss on this one.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Mr. You’re On Fire
This is a B-side to at least two singles I have by them. It’s a pretty cool tune, but definitely B-side material.

Foo Fighters – FFL
This song is fucking ANGRY. I’ve always like The Foos when they go balls out heavy, but I think this is the heaviest they’ve ever been. It also has a quick reference to Queen’s ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’, which automatically makes it awesome. I’d love to hear them record a full album at this tempo. That might make people’s heads explode.

Korn – Here To Stay (Mindless Self Indulgence Remix)
I’m not a big Korn fan. I liked them for about 20 minutes in junior high, because it was required by law for junior high school students in the mid-90s to have at least one Korn or Offspring CD (I had both, I don’t know why.) Anyways, this is a remix of one of their better tunes, done by the amazing Mindless Self Indulgence. If you’ve never heard MSI and you like hardcore music you have to check them out, they are one of the most exciting bands in the scene. Their remix of this song basically turns it into an MSI song, which is probably why I like it so much.

Public Image Ltd. – Commercial Zone
When someone leaves a band over ‘creative differences’ the fans usually don’t get to find out why, but that wasn’t the case with Keith Levene and PiL. When he quit the band he took what they recorded with him. So when John Lydon and the rest of the band re-recorded much of it and released it as This Is What You Want…This Is What You Get he went ahead and put out his version of it, and called it Commercial Zone. It’s technically a bootleg and much of it has never been available to the general public. It’s pretty barren compared to This Is What You Want… and in my opinion not as good, but judge for yourself. It does feature some songs that have never been released in any form by PiL, so it’s essential for the die-hard fans. The file above is a zip that contains the entire album.

Timelords
Doctorin’ The Tardis
Doctorin’ The Tardis (Minimal)
Doctorin’ The Tardis (Club Mix)
I’ve already discussed The Timelords/KLF in depth and I really don’t want to again. If you’re really interested Wikipedia has a page on them describing the insanity in full. When I first posted about them I couldn’t find a copy of Doctorin’ The Timelords so I had to settle with the video. Well, since then I’ve managed to track down the 12′ single of the song, which also featured two additional mixes of the Dr. Who/Gary Glitter mash-up. Enjoy.