Rage Against Bonnie Tyler (No, don’t really, she’s really awesome)

The new site is still on schedule to launch next week. I was hoping to open it with a pretty cool interview, but that fell through twice now, so instead I’m just going to go ahead and get it up and running with some smaller, more humorous bits. Stay tuned for more info. Now for some rap-rock and pop-disco!

Rage Against The Machine
Bullet In The Head (Sir Jinx Remix)
I used to love Rage. Then I hated them. Now I’m pretty much indifferent. I still love most of their music and the messages behind a lot of it, but damn, if they aren’t a bunch of idiotic hypocrites; with hypocrite number one being guitarist Tom Morello.

As many other writes have pointed out over the years, Morello loves to attack the American government for its human rights violations (of which there are many and I am not defending) but he also idolizes people like Lenin and Chairman Mao, evil pricks who are both no strangers to massive violations of basic human rights. I understand that there are always contradictions in a person’s political viewpoints, but that’s a bit much even for me. I’ve never been able to look past that blatant conflict.

More recently, I’ve been hating on the band for all the blatant cash grab bullshit they’ve been doing. I’m not calling them out for being rich socialists, you can be a socialist and be rich. I’m calling them out for being sell out, greedy, capitalism-loving socialists. That reunion tour they did a few years back? That was a nostalgia-driven money grab. No new music. No new messages. Just a group yelling “fuck you I won’t do what you tell me” to audiences of suburban white kids who didn’t give a fuck about the band’s “message.” (You think Paul Ryan is a fluke among Rage fans? He’s the rule, not the exception.)

More recently, I balked at the band’s decision to re-release their self-titled debut as a massive super deluxe edition. Not because I have something against super deluxe editions, but because, much like their recent tours, it was nothing more than a cheap cash grab designed to make as much money as possible, all while exerting as little effort as needed (while still asking fans to pay for a premium for it). That set cost $100. What did that get you? Some live B-sides, a bonus CD with their demo tape, and a DVD with some live footage. Big whoop. How about some actual b-sides? This remix isn’t in that set. What about including the now out-of-print and insanely hard-to-find Live And Rare CD as a gift? One hundred bucks for a bad remaster, a demo tape and some live cuts. Whoop. De. Shit.

Do other bands do this? Yeah! All the time. But hey, Depeche Mode didn’t make a career out of hyping the destruction of capitalism and the power of the working class, so when they put out a shitty overpriced box set it’s not as offensive now is it? Now, if they put out, oh I don’t know, a guide to making it in music while avoiding heroin, then they’d be hypocrites.

Anyways, I still like RATM’s music, I just find it hard to listen to in light of all that stuff. This remix is from a 12″ single, and like I said before, it was not included on $100 super deluxe edition of the album from which the song originally came.

Oh, and one more thing. Thich Quang Duc burned himself alive to bring attention to religious persecution, not to fucking sell records.

Bonnie Tyler
Band of Gold (Extended Version)
Band of Gold (Dub)
The latest in my ongoing quest to pair the least likely artists together as possible.

Another day, another “Band of Gold” cover. For those keeping track at home (and you really should be if you’re not already), this is the fourth version of “Band of Gold” I’ve featured on this site, with the previous versions being renditions by Modern Romance, Belinda Carlisle and Sylvester. Which is the best? Oh boy, that’s a tough call.

Well it’s not that tough. It’s definitely not the Modern Romance version, their cover feels more like a goof than a serious attempt at the song. Belinda’s can go too. I love me some Belinda, but she really can’t hold a candle to the two finalists here. Sylvester is the greatest disco diva of all-time, and Bonnie Tyler probably had one of the most powerful voices of the 80s.

Shit! I can’t choose! They’re both amazing! Sylvester’s is the most fabulous. Bonnie’s is the most fierce. Let’s just leave it at that.

8 Responses to “Rage Against Bonnie Tyler (No, don’t really, she’s really awesome)”

  1. Darren Stuart says:

    Bonnie Tyler.


    Jeezuz, fella. Are you completely mad? The woman needs to be strung up by her 80’s hair and flogged until her entire body falls apart.

    Bonnie Tyler, indeed!!!

  2. Lost Turntable says:

    Total Eclipse of shut the fuck up and who asked for your opinion.

  3. Acid Ted says:

    best comment and response evah

  4. Don says:

    Best reply to a comment ever!!!

    I love you. I love your blog. Thank you for being so awesome. Keep up the amazing job you’re doing. I can’t wait for the new site. 🙂

  5. Fictional Queen says:

    Darren bro you’re so violent! Dude you’re gross.

  6. Chris says:

    So was it you behind the choice of Bonnie Tyler as Britain’s entry for Eurovision then? I wondered.

  7. Darren Stuart says:

    ‘Lost Turntable’…like the response. very funny. I love stuff from the 80’s. It was the period I really got into music. Everything from Adam Ant down to ZZ Top, and all things inbetween. But…but…Bonnie Tyler. Have you seen how annoying she is when she’s on TV? Even worse when she’s ‘fried’. I come back to this blog every day (just about). Love the diversity of what you post. I’ve learned loads…and I know music, believe me.

    I’m concerned that my comment has raised so much offence, by the way. I apologise…but singers like Bonnie, Robbie Williams, and most of the pop music we have to endure over here in the UK makes listening to the radio painful. I say endure, but I rarely listen to pop music stations anymore, but do like a digital station we have called ‘6music’. DJ’s know their stuff, and play very varied songs, promote brand new acts and play artists you’d not normally hear.

    Looking forward to your next post…or my name being slated about Bonnie again.

    Here’s to you…and your followers.



  8. Bibulb says:


    Well, I suppose I exaggerate a little. But it’s a damn fine album and I can’t really think of any clunkers from it – certainly not that one…

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