I’m the man in the box, buried in my killer beats dawg.

I’ll be adding a bunch of singles and albums to my sale soon, so if you haven’t checked that page out, please do.

Okay, now that I have that out of the way, who wants to hear some incredibly stupid remixes?

I briefly touched upon this a few days ago, but I recently bought a metric crapton (that’s a lot) of DJ Mix singles. These are special 12″ singles that are sold to DJs only, usually via a subscription service, and they feature special mixes that are never made available anywhere else. Sometimes they’re unofficial bootlegs, other times they’re legit. Often it’s hard to tell.

Tonight’s mixes are from a 12″ single called Rock ‘n’ Beat Turbo 4. As if the name didn’t make it obvious enough, these are dance remixes of rock songs. Actually, if I wanted to get specific and accurate, they’re more just edits or mixes than full on remixes. A remix typically implies that the track was altered at the base level, and that the mixer in question had access to the master recordings or even recorded new material to interpolate into the original song. Most of these just extend the original songs’ breakdown and instrumental sections while throwing in some chorus effects and extra beats (hence that Rock ‘n’ Beat title). It’s all really weird and goofy and while a lot of the mixes are just “lets loop shit to make it longer” I find them all fascinating nonetheless, if for track selection alone, so let’s get into it.

Mysterious Ways (Beat Box Mix)
I hate U2 more than the Thompson Twins, so I got nothing here. I think this is just a small re-edit though.

Alice In Chains
Man In the Box (Tore Up From The Floor Up Mix)
Okay, to start; this remix of “Man In The Box” is seven and a half minutes long. SEVEN AND A HALF MINUTES LONG! That is insane. How does one make “Man In The Box” seven and a half minutes long? Well, for starters you take the opening bars and repeat them about five times longer than they were in the original, then you do the same for the closing bars as well. Then you take the rest and loop the shit out it, add some extra drum beats and then pat yourself on the back for turning a grunge song about addiction and homelessness into a dance tune for the clubs.

Fuck the 90s were weird.

Counting Crows
Mr. Jones (The Sick Mix)
I never in a million remixes thought that I’d be deconstructing a Counting Crows dance mix on this blog but here it goes. Much like the “Man In The Box” mix this edit of “Counting Crows” expands the original song to a club-friendly six minutes mostly just by extending the opening and closing measures. This one is a little more obviously remixed though, thanks to the very apparent drum beat that is pasted in out of nowhere.

90s. Weird.

Melissa Etheridge
I’m The Only One (The Blue Mix)
Eight minutes. That’s how long they stretch this one out. Eight Minutes.  But hey, if you like Melissa Etheridge then that’s just eight minutes of awesome.

John Mellencamp
Wild Night (Maple Tree Mix)
Okay, I’ll be honest, I haven’t heard this song in 10 years and I’m not going to revisit the single version now. Based on my recollection of it, I don’t hear much of a difference here.

Bachman Turner Overdrive
Takin’ Care Of Business (Rippin’ Mix) 
This version of “Takin’ Care Of Business” incorporates a sample from Afrika Baambaataa’s “Planet Rock.”

Let that sink in before you listen to it.

2 Responses to “I’m the man in the box, buried in my killer beats dawg.”

  1. Jim says:

    These are hilariously awesome. Thank you for a great start to my Friday!

  2. Thankful4Music says:

    Great picks !! Thanks so much!

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