Debbie Harry, Madonna and Janet Jackson walk into a dance club…and everyone is like “OMG”

It’s an 80s diva clearinghouse here at the Lost Turntable! Hurry up and grab your favorite pop dance mixes before they’re gone for good! All sales are final!

Debbie Harry
French Kissin (Dance Mix)
Did you know that this song was written by Chuck Lorre? Yes, the same Chuck Lorre who brought us Dharma and Greg, The Big Bang Theory and Two And A Half Men?! What? How? Huh?

It turns out that this was the only pop song the dude ever wrote (at least, the only one that made it onto an album) and he went on to TV pretty soon afterward, his first stop being a co-composer for all the music to the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon! And I thought the dude from the Exotic Birds who ended up drumming for Stabbing Westward only to go on to create music for A&E shows had a weird career arc.

I can promise you that this song is exponentially better than any episode of any television show Chuck Lorre has worked on in the last 10 years.

Frozen (Extended Club Mix)
Frozen (Meltdown Mix)
Hanky Panky (Bare Bottom 12″ Mix)
Hanky Panky (Bare Bones Single Mix)
One of these songs is a meditation on the difficulties of maintaining a serious relationship with someone who refuses to open up emotionally. The other is about a spanking fetish. Guess which one is which.

I think it’s fair to say that “Frozen” is the deeper of the two songs. It’s also the one I like more, but that has less to do with the lyrical content and more to do with the production as a whole. “Hanky Panky” is a fun song for sure, but I’ve never been a big fan of any modern song that tries to ape the 40s jump blues/jazz sound. I will say though that I do like the “Bare Bottom 12″ Mix” a bit more than the original version, thanks to its (very) extended breakdown that really emphasizes the beat over the horns and other more “vintage” aspects of the song’s production.

Additionally, I’m very depressed that no one has ever done a mash-up of this song with Christina Aguilera’s “Candyman” and/or “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy.”

Janet Jackson
Escapade (Shep’s Good Time Mix)
Escapade (The Get Away Dub)
Escapade (Shep’s Housecapade Mix)
Escapade (Housecapade Dub)
Escapade (I Can’t Take No More Dub)
These “Escapade” mixes will be the last Janet tracks I’ll be sharing here…until I find more. There were eight singles for Rhythm Nation 1814, and you bet your ass I’m going to get all of them someday.

Until that glorious day, enjoy these cuts. These are great mixes, and the near-acapella sections really show just how much Janet sounded like Michael back then. There are portions in the “Shep’s Good Time Mix” where she sounds just like her brother. It’s freaking eerie.


5 Responses to “Debbie Harry, Madonna and Janet Jackson walk into a dance club…and everyone is like “OMG””

  1. trueyorxman says:

    when you getting back around to putting some decent tunes out there again (Underworld, DM, NO, Orbital, etc)

  2. Lost Turntable says:

    Listen up you little entitled shithead, If you don’t like the songs I post then no one is making you come to my site, you dig?

    And secondly, if you don’t think Madonna’s “Frozen” is a decent tune then I really don’t give a fuck what you think, because you’re dumb.

  3. SB says:

    Keep up the good work turntable man!

  4. Fictional Queen says:

    funny title 😀

  5. Snowy says:

    Just keep being true to yourself and post what you like (want)…its your site after all!!!!
    And it has to be fun for you (mostly) or why would you bother?
    Its all good fun, keep it up

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