The "King" is Dead

Yeah, if you were hoping this would be the one blog where you wouldn’t have to hear about LeBron James, too bad.

Let me explain something to all of you. I may live in Pittsburgh, and I may love this city, but I was born and raised in Ohio. I’m happy when the Steelers win (well, not anymore, thanks to Rapistburger) and I’m a casual Pens fan. But I was raised on the Browns. When that dickless wonder Art Modell took the Browns away from us I thought Cleveland had seen its darkest betrayal.

Damn I hate being wrong.

Sure, LeBron is only one man and in the long term this probably isn’t as devastating as the city losing an entire team, but the betrayal is far greater. Not only did the dickhead betray all of his fans, the city he grew up in, and pretty much everyone who has ever supported him, but he did it in the most narcissistic, bullshit, asshole way humanely possible. The stupid motherfucker had the gall to take out an hour of airtime on ESPN to basically A) Expound on how great he is and B) Say “FUCK YOU CLEVELAND” over and over again. Why the fuck would anyone do that? If he would have just left the team that would have sucked, but hey I get it, business is business and shit happens. But to just be such a stupendous DICKHEAD about it really blows my mind.

So LeBron, allow me to echo the statements of thousands of people in the greater Ohio area: Fuck You.

And by the way, you want to know how fucked up this is? People in Pittsburgh, in fucking PITTSBURGH, think that the Cavs fans in Cleveland are getting fucked over. Allow me to repeat that: people in Pittsburgh feel bad for the Cleveland fans.

That’s some hardcore shit.

Electric Six
Escape From Ohio
Not a rare track, but a great one. Maybe it’s LeBron’s new theme song?

Devo: From Akron and not a piece of shit. Unlike some people. And I’m seeing Devo on Friday! I’m very excited! I’m totally buying a Devo hat. It will be a good day.

Ian Hunter
Cleveland Rocks (Live)
Word, and don’t you fucking forget it.

Hang in there guys. It’ll get better someday.

8 Responses to “The "King" is Dead”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Couldn't agree more about LeBron…your label of "Ohio Mother Fucker" made me laugh.

  2. Anonymous says:


    Ohhhhh, you are going to have a blast! I saw DEVO last week in Hollywood & they were fantastic! Their new material / multi-media presentation is brilliant! Biting satire as usual. Of course they also play their classic tunes, I was amazed at how much "GIRL U WANT" ABSOLUTELY ROCKED!!!

    ( I once broke up with someone because:
    1. He had never even HEARD of Devo! And… gasp!…Didn't seem to care!

    2. Told me to "turn off this horrible nonsense" I was listening to ("Satisfaction"!) So I told him to hit the road baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby,baby, baby…HA, HA, HA, HA!)



    PS: Booji Boy says hi!

  3. Anonymous says:

    I show up sometimes just for the rants, man. You get that FY groove goin' good! Props.

  4. docomospur says:

    Celtics fan here and I feel really bad for the Cavs fans and for the city in general. Personally, I don't begrudge LeBron a move, though it needs to be said that the Cavs had the best NBA regular season record 2 years in a row and was not a team going nowhere (unlike KG and the Timberwolves, for example). It's just this media circus and the unbelievably un-humble way he went about it that's just so fucked up. I've never felt anything negative towards Wade and Bosh before but now I wish them the very worst, if only because of Lebron. Still, they'll probably breeze through the NBA next season 🙁

  5. Anonymous says:

    What's with Devo being postponed in a venue that supposedly has shows "rain or shine?" Heck, it's printed right on the ticket!!!

  6. The Lost Turntable says:

    Yeah, motherfuckers pissed me off man.

  7. Anonymous says:

    I like Pat Riley, but I hope the Heat get killed. LeBron only cares about LeBron. Nice playoffs loser.

    Saw Devo in Buffalo on Thursday and they were amazing. My buddy caught Mark's yellow jumpsuit top when he threw it into the crowd.

  8. jasonk says:

    Hated Lebron when he came into the league, and now I really hate him. And I'm a Magic fan. We've kicked his ass for 2 years, now we just have to kick a few more asses in Miami. Fuck Lebro. Fuck him in his stupid ass.

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