Big Dumb Dance

I hope everyone had a better Thanksgiving than I did. To recover from you family holiday trauma here is some big dumb 90s dance music. Because we all need more of that.

Apollo 440
Carrera Rapida (Theme From Rapid Racer) (Salt Tank’s Rip Tide Remix)
Carrera Rapida (Theme From Rapid Racer) (Frog Junkies Funk Junkie Remix)
Carrera Rapida (Theme From Rapid Racer) (The E-Z Drum & Bass Orchestra Remix)
Carrera Rapida (Theme From Rapid Racer) (Mondo Azul Remix)

So grabbing these mixes off of a 12 inch single bring my knowledge of Apollo 440 to a whopping three songs. There is of course their smash hit “Stop The Rock” but I also was aware of them back in “the day” (the day being the late 90s) due to their strange remix of the theme to Lost In Space, which I think was used in the 1998 film version of the TV show. Spoiler Warning: That movie is one of the worst sci-fi flicks of all time.

I remember seeing that piece of trash in the theater. Ugh. I also remember that it opened huge, and was the film the finally dethrone Titanic from its reign of terror at number one at the box office. A few weeks before this crapular cinematic abortion forced upon an unknowing movie public that a much better sci-fi film, the amazing Dark City, was released to an overwhelming thud. The fact that Dark City, an amazing, breathtaking one-of-a-kind piece of film making bombed while Lost in fucking Space did bang-up business was one of my first indicators that there is no justice in the entertainment world, especially when it comes to awesome sci-fi.

Anyways, this single is actually from the soundtrack to a video game called Rapid Racer (or Turbo Prop Racing in the states). I never played that one, I was probably too busy recovering from seeing Lost In Space in the theater on opening weekend. How the hell did a kind of well-known electronic act get involved with what looked to be a standard boat racing game? Man the 90s were fucked up.

Galaxy 2000 (Main Mix)
Galaxy 2000 (Dub Mix)

Want further proof of the 90s ridiculousness? Okay, how about the fact that house producers Plump DJs remixed 70s funk band War’s “Galaxy” and renamed it “Galaxy 2000”? That’s even more random than when The Doobie Brothers’ “Listen To The Music” was remixed for dance clubs in the mid-90s…okay maybe not but it’s still odd. These remixes are good though.

Jon The Dentist
Shindo (Jon The Dentist’s Epic Mix)
Shindo (Dexterous Remix)
Shindo (DJ Misjah Mix)

Now were getting from weird to just downright stupid. Okay, that’s harsh. “Shindo” is actually a pretty amazing trance track and it still holds up some 10 plus years later as an obvious precursor to hardstyle house music. In fact, Jon the Dentist is supposedly hailed (by whom?) as an innovator of the hardstyle house sound. I can see it though, because if “Shindo” is any indication he was making fast-paced and incredibly awesome dance tracks that were impossible to dance to due to their insane BPM long before that whole thing took off as a movement. I don’t know how you kids dance to that stuff. It makes my feet want to fall off. What is stupid however is the name Jon The Dentist. Because when I’m listening to Hi-NRG house I really want to be reminded of my sore gums.

Beautiful Day (Juniorverse Remix)
Beautiful Day (Original Mix)
Beautiful Day (Tank Remix)
Just Come Back To Me (Kosmonova Remix)

Hypertrophy is the technical term for “getting buff.” It’s also apparently the name of a bunch of German producers who make mediocre house music if this song is any indication. “Beautiful Day” isn’t awful, but it isn’t great either, and the dude’s vocals get REALLY annoying after a while. “Just Come Back To Me” is generic acid house to the 10th degree. I listen to it and imagine that it was cut from the soundtrack of Hackers.

2 Responses to “Big Dumb Dance”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I got "Lost In Space" (1998) free, with my first DVD player. It wasn't worth what I paid for it!

    I'm glad someone else remembers "Dark City". Thanks!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Apollo 440 were around for a long time before the cringeworthy stuff. I have a track called 'Destiny' from 1991 that wasn't bad at all. Stealth Sonic recordings.

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