This Is The Best Headline I’ve Read All Day

I’m having another industrial music wanna break everything I see kind of day, so stand back. I have some good synthpop I want to put up but I am totally not in the mood to discuss that stuff right now. The industrial marathon will come to a close when the administration at my school stops acting like a bunch of….shit, I swore I’d stop using the c-word.

Revolting Cocks
Beers, Steers & Queers (Drop Your Britches Mix)
Beers, Steers & Queers (Take ‘Em Right Off Mix)
Obviously by c-word I didn’t mean cock.
I miss good Al Jorgenson. I reviewed Cover Up (Ministry’s covers compilation) recently and it was a sad state of affairs. The whole thing wasn’t bad, but the truth of the matter was that the best tracks on the CD were over 10 years old, and the new stuff paled in comparison. I guess the moral is that you should just say no to heroin or you’ll be a washed-up nutjob shadow of your former self. These are from the 12” single of the immortal song.

Front Line Assembly
Digital Tension Dementia (Extended Version)
No Limit (Damaged Good Remix)
Lethal Compound (Harmful If Swallowed Mix)
I’m not the only one who confuses these guys with Front 242 right? The fact that they are both pioneering electronic groups makes it double frustrating/confusing. Oh well, at least I can pronounce their name, which is more than I can say for fellow industrial frontrunners Einstürzende Neubauten. These tracks are from the 12” single to Digital Tension Dilemma.

Clan Of Xymox
A Day (Remix)
Stranger (Remix)
Speaking of bands I can’t pronounce…So according to Wikipedia these guys aren’t industrial but “darkwave.” As a name for a genre, that’s the third stupidest I ever heard, right behind Nu-Rave and Trip-Hop (I’m never gonna get that one). Whatever they’re called this remix of “A Day” is currently in my “smashy smashy” playlist. Both are from the 12” single.

Armageddon Dildos
Every Day Is Like Sunday (Guitar Days Mix)
Every Day Is Like Sunday (Freundschaft Version)
Every Day Is Like Sunday (Come Zhirinovsky Mix – Original Recipe)
Every Day Is Like Sunday (Orwell Was 10 Years Off Tech-Know)
Every Day Is Like Sunday (The Longer Version That They Forgot To Close Down)
Holy shit that’s that best band name ever. Not only is it crass, stupid and vulgar, it actually means something (cold-war slang for ICBMs)! They should totally go on tour with Steely Dan (that’s right kids, your dad’s favorite band is named after a sex toy). These remixes are radically different from each other and are practically different songs. Some of them even feature completely re-recorded vocals. They all feature brilliantly retarded remix titles too.

I just noticed I started this post with cock and ended it with a dildo reference. That was surprisingly not planned.

2 Responses to “This Is The Best Headline I’ve Read All Day”

  1. alex says:

    Great post! I have that Armageddon Dildos cd single kicking around somewhere, too bad none of their originals ever really lived up to that cover.

  2. beketaten says:

    actually, Nick Cave didn’t say ‘no’ to heroin until, like 20 years later and he is anything but a washed up shadowy version of his former self…

    Also, being the pronunciation dizz0rk that i am, I shall guide you in the phonetic~pronunciation-process of “Einstürzende Neubauten”:
    (letters capitalized to reflect emphasis)
    “Ayn-(like Ayn Rand)-shtURT-zend-eh NOY-bau-ten”

    I swear i wasn’t being patronizing, i’m just a little too obsessed with Blixa Bargeld for my own good! and i even got a chance to reference him in the same post as Nick Cave :D!! (life’s small joys))

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