Death To False Metal

I know I said that I wouldn’t be posting again this week, but I say a lot of things.

I’ve been waiting two years for an excuse to use that as a headline and I finally found an excuse. On a related note, I’ve been waiting two weeks for an excuse to use that awesome picture. It’s not mine and I’d attribute it but I don’t know where it’s from. If you do let me know.

The Decline Of Western Civilization II: The Metal Years
Decline II is one of the greatest movies ever made about rock music, and also one of the most (unintentionally) funny movies you’ll ever see. Originally released in 1988, the film follows the fans and bands that make up the ridiculously stupid Hollywood glam metal scene. Glam rock luminaries such as Poison show up for interviews and other bands contribute some very memorable performances (if you like metal, and if you don’t like metal you can fuck off).

The movie was directed by Penelope Spheeris, who also directed the previously mentioned Dudes, Wayne’s World, and a bunch of very shitty movies. She also did Decline I, which is about the LA punk rock scene of the early 80s -but that’s a whole other topic and since I don’t have the soundtrack for that I’m going to move on.

Both the soundtrack and the film are out of print. I don’t know if the soundtrack ever got a proper CD release, but I know the movie never came out on DVD. I’ve worked in video distribution for most of my life so I know this, don’t message me and tell me I’m wrong (Howard The Duck has never been on DVD in America either, no matter what you see offered on eBay). The webpage for the movies hasn’t been updated in eons, and despite their promise that the DVDs are coming soon I doubt it. I found the soundtrack at my local exchange for seven bucks last week and I nearly shat, it’s been on my holy grail wishlist for a very long time. This one is worthy of track-by-track breakdown.

Alice Cooper with Axl Rose, Slash and Izzy
Under My Wheels
This is an Alice Cooper track that originally appeared on his 1971 album Killer, this version with the dudes from GnR was made specially for this soundtrack. It was later released on Alice Cooper’s four-disc box set as well. Excellent tune.

Faster Pussycat
The Bathroom Wall
Faster Pussycat’s best song, in my opinion (and as you all know, my opinion is right) and not that shit ballad “House Of Pain”. Great riff, great dirty sexy lyrics, just great all around. This is the live version that was in the movie (recorded at The Cathouse…the rock bar, not the whorehouse).

Cradle To The Grave
Lemmy and company don’t perform in the movie, but Lemmy gives a pretty good interview on the hills of LA. Dude totally rocks a Canadian tuxedo too. This track was exclusive to this soundtrack, but has since appeared on a couple Motorhead compilations. Good stuff, typical awesome Motorhead music to get drunk to. Contains the classic line, “Ain’t so bad/coulda been a monkey.” I don’t want to know what Lemmy’s talking about there.

Armored Saint
You Can Run But You Can’t Hide
I don’t remember seeing Armored Saint in Decline, but one of the band’s later members was in Odin – the band who sadly believes they will one day be bigger than Led Zeppelin. Whatever happened to those dudes? This track is also on the band’s compilation “Nod To The Old School”.

Lizzy Borden
Born To Be Wild (Live)
Okay, this cover is pretty damn stupid. It’s featured prominently in the movie though.

In My Darkest Hour
This link is intentionally left blank since this track is easily commercially available on many Megadeth albums and compilations.

The Prophecy
This link is intentionally left blank for the same reasons listed above…and I really fucking hate Queensryche.

Metal Church
The Brave
Don’t know much about these guys, and I don’t think they were prominently featured in the film. I do know that this song is totally fucking metal.

Rigor Mortis
Foaming At The Mouth
This track is on their 1988 debut, and that album is still in-print so this track is easily available. However, I’m still putting it up here because it’s not like you can walk into Best Buy and pick it up. Hypocritical? Probably, but ask me if I give a fuck. If you like thrash I suggest picking up their albums, it’s some heavy shit. They also have the best bio on

Brutal thrash played with cruelty; one day they could become the kings of their own world.

That’s the entire bio, I think someone at All Music is a fan.

Colleen (Live)
Another one of the lost bands from Decline. Anyone know what happened to these dudes? They were the Detroit refugees who hoped to make it big in LA. Great guitar player, shame about the singer. This is the performance from the movie.

13 Responses to “Death To False Metal”

  1. Kurt's Krap says:

    I’m like 99.9% positive that I had the soundtrack on CD at some point in my life.

  2. The Lost Turntable says:

    Yeah, that would make sense since the movie came out in the late 80s. It probably got a CD release at one point, but those copies are damn near impossible to find nowadays and every one that I’ve seen was a damn bootleg.

    I’m not doubting you though, I’m sure you had a legit copy on CD (I’m not being sarcastic or mean, seriously!) I wish I could find a copy.

  3. Lope de Aguirre says:

    Just discovered your blog today. Thanks for the Talk Talk stuff.

  4. T00FARG0NE says:

    The huge metal fan pic is great. It’s a t-shirt design by the way. You can find it on

  5. Anonymous says:

    Faster Pussycat! Hell yah! I used to love FP’s first couple albums. P-P-P-PUSSSY…Cat! 😉

  6. Anonymous says:

    Danger Kitty was better.

  7. rich says:


    I prefer the live version of Bathroom Wall. And Decline II is a fantastic movie. I wish they would release it on DVD. According to the Decline web site, they’re working on the DVDs.

  8. The Lost Turntable says:

    Their website has been saying that since 2004 at least.

  9. Trevour says:

    I’ve never been a big metal fan, but AWESOME post. Thanks once again. That Alice Cooper/GnR song reminds me of the arcade I was afraid to enter as a kid because the dudes inside cranked stuff like this.

    And FYI, I’m most likely delusional. In my delusions I swear to god I saw checkout aisle endcaps filled with Howard The Duck DVDs. But it was probably just Choxie or something.

  10. Anonymous says:

    you seem like a pretty huge asshole. just saying. if you’re not a huge asshole, you’re a gigantic dork.

  11. cannibaljp says:

    I loved that soundtrack. I never thought that there were a ton of folks that were going toi be able to enjoy the whole thing though… Too many elements and voices to be able to pull the whole thing together. I always had a problem with the fact that Slayer wasn't incuded. They had such a HUGE impact on American Metal, and they were really one of the strong arms of the scene…

    But alas…

    Oh.. Seduce:


  12. Anonymous says:

    so late to post… one of my favourite albums ever… when i owned tapes and listened to both sides.

  13. kill-rampage-die93 says:

    Hey! I know what happened to Seduce! They’re still around with the original three piece line-up of Chuck Burns on Drums, Mark Andrews on Bass and Lead Vox and David Black on Guitars! I’m from Detroit and Seduce is one of my faves! Thanks!

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