The OMG Pr0n Post!

I used to work for a website that sold porno movies. It was a nightmare job that almost left me a shell of a human being. Luckily, I didn’t work with the porno on a daily basis (they also sold mainstream films) but I occasionally needed to help out in the warehouse and that usually meant pulling porno titles for orders.

Now, I ‘m not a prude and it wasn’t my first exposure to porn. Back in the 80s and 90s my dad owned a video store and I’ll admit that I occasionally was able to sneak to the “back room” and get a quick glimpse of some of the titles – the fact that VHS boxes for porn tapes were fucking huge made that a lot easier. Sow when I started this job the state of porno kind of depressed me. While I don’t remember many of the individual titles of the porno movies from my dad’s store, but I don’t recall them being horribly explicit and I also remember the box art usually being R-Rated at the most. My how things had change. The pictures on the DVD cases looked like gynecological exams and the titles were just gross “Texas Asshole Massacre”, “Cum Fart Cocktail” and “Asian Cheerleader Cavity Exam Vol. II” being a few that stand out (I am NOT making any of those up). The closest thing I saw to a clever title during my time there was a tranny title called “Trans Ass Express”. (God, I’m terrified as to what Google queries my site will pop up on now).

However, I am fascinated by the brief porn chic period in the 70s when porn was almost mainstream. I love the idea of a guy and girl going out on their first date to see Deep Throat or The Opening Of Misty Beethoven. Porno was so big in the 70s that it even crossed into mainstream music with porn actress Andrea True recording the hit single “More, More More.” But that isn’t the only time that pornography and pop music crossed paths, as these tracks show.

Unknown Artist (Deep Throat I & II Soundtracks)
She’s Got To Have It
Love Is Strange
Deep Throat is the most famous porno movie of all time, so I’m not going to talk about it that much. If you’re interested in learning more about it I highly recommend Inside Deep Throat, a fascinating documentary about the making of the film and they hysteria that surrounded it. The movie makes no mention of the soundtrack though, which I didn’t even know existed until I found these tracks on some MP3 blog a year ago. These aren’t your basic “ba-chicka-wa-wa” porno tunes but they are pretty funky. Can someone explain to me the bubble sounds at the end of ‘Love Is Strange’? Is that supposed to be a bong?

Marilyn Chambers
She might not be as (in)famous as Deep Throat‘s Linda Lovelace, but Marilyn Chambers helped usher in the era of porn chic also with her starring role in the 1972 hardcore classic Behind The Green Door (link is work safe). She was actually such a big star by the end of the decade that she decided to leave pornography to make ‘legit’ films, and in 1977 she starred in Rabid, a great horror flick by David Cronenberg. It must not have panned out though, because that was her only mainstream acting role, and she went back to porn before the decade was over. However, while she was trying to make it as a mainstream actress she was also trying to make it as a pop singer with this single. It was her only song, which is a shame because it’s not that bad (as stupid disco songs go). However, if ever heard a girl make the noises Marilyn does at the end of this song I’d call the fucking cops.

Traci Lords
You Burn Inside Of Me
I met Traci Lords once at a comic book convention in Novi. A friend of mine wanted her autograph for one of his friends (so he says) and I shelled out the 20 bucks for one. She seemed pretty nice and actually talked to the people that waited in her line. In front of me in the line was a creepy looking dude wearing a Star Trek: TNG captain’s uniform and sweating profusely. When he finally got to the front of the line he didn’t want her to sign anything, he just wanted to shake her hand, saying that he was “a big fan of all her work” which translated to “I own child pornography.”

Obviously, some people really love Traci Lords, but others don’t (my dad calls her “That bitch who cost me a thousand bucks”). Traci didn’t get into porno until the 80s so she missed the porno chic movement, but she was easily the biggest star in adult video at the time…too bad she was only 15 at the time. When her age was discovered all of her flicks instantly became illegal and video stores like my dad’s had to pull them off the shelves. Since then she’s become an almost legit actress, having small parts in films like Blade and Virtuosity. She’s also occasionally flirted with music too, releasing one techno album in 1995 and this single some 10 years later. Listen to ‘Sunshine’ and you’ll discover that she isn’t half bad. Listen to ‘You Burn Inside Of Me’ and you’ll find out she isn’t half good either.

2 Responses to “The OMG Pr0n Post!”

  1. Rich says:

    I have to say, I actually like some of the music Traci has done.
    “Control” from her “10,000 Fires” cd is probably my favorite.

  2. Mr. Satan A. Chilles says:

    Funny you should post about Traci et al and the ‘oeuvre’, I, too felt the need last week. Nice to know I’m not the only one thinking about bad acting and evocative (if that’s the right word) tunes!

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