Can all Paul’s create good dance music?

April 15th, 2010

Meh I’m tired go listen at the neat dance music.

Paul Van Dyk
Nothing But You (PVD Club Mix)
Nothing But You (Vandit Club Mix)
Nothing But You (Cirrus Mix)
I recently had to write a guide explaining the different types of trance music. You know what? That shit wasn’t easy. You try explaining how hard trance is different than acid trance and how all goa is psytrance but not all psytrance is goa (maybe, that’s debatable I guess) and that vocal, pop, uplifting and anthem are all different sub-genres. And then do all that in 500 fucking words. Damn. I love me some trance music but I HATE writing about it. Which is why all I’m going to say about this track is that I love it and that I got it from a 12” single.

Paul Oakenfold
Southern Sun (Sabato Breakz Mix)
Southern Sun (Tiesto Mix)
Southern Sun (Gabriel And Dresden Mix)
Southern Sun (Liquid Todd Mix)
Ready Steady Go (PMT Mix)
Ready Steady Go (Trailer Trash Mix)
Ready Steady Go (Layo And Bushwacka Mix)
This too is trance, so I’ll just say that Southern Sun is very pretty and Ready Steady Go is a great dance tune. There’s my insightful music criticism for the day. Leave me alone, it’s late.

Acid 4×4
Planet Love Ink – Living In Pain
Vinyl Countdown – Animal Republic
Burger Industries – Funk The Industry
Brotherhood of Structure – We Are Structure
As much as I like trance I think my heart will always lie with acid house. While trance can get a little pretentious, mellow or pop-friendly at times, acid house is always gloriously stupid. This is a genre whose crowning achievement is The KLF’s White Room, an album that was purposely designed to be a mainstream hit to appeal to the lowest common denominator. And it’s fucking brilliant. These tracks are decidedly less brilliant but are still quite fun, and are from a 2×10” sampler that came on red transparent vinyl. Side note: Vinyl Countdown is a fucking brilliant name.

Posted in Acid House, Paul Oakenfold, Paul Van Dyk, remixes | 7 Comments »

The Big Gay Post

April 14th, 2010

So how has everyone been. I’ve been trying to update more often but life keeps getting in the way. Damn getting paid to write.

Which reminds me, hey I wrote this, you should go read it and say how awesome it is.

Cyndi Lauper
Come On Home (Techno Vox)
Come On Home (Techno Dub)
Come On Home (Jungle Vox)
Come On Home (Junior’s Sound Factory Mix)
Come On Home (Factory Dub) (Short Version)
Come On Home (Extended Club Mix)
I think I’m gay for Cyndi Lauper, does that make any sense? I mean, dudes who like chicks aren’t supposed to dance like a retard to house remixes of songs by gay icons are they? But who makes these rules? Why can’t a big guy from Pittsburgh who likes football and Motorhead also rock out to synthpop and fabulous house music? Fuck that. If I want to listen to Erasure and watch a marathon of RuPaul’s Drag Race one day and listen to 2 Live Crew and watch Charles Bronson movies the next (Bronson is the manliest man ever, that’s a fact) then that’s my business!

These remixes kick ass, if you haven’t picked up on that already. The 12” for this lists the tracks in a pretty interesting way actually. Side one is labeled as the “techno” side, while the b-side is called the “house” side. The descriptions are dead on, although I think dubbing one track “Jungle Vox” was pushing it.

One more note about this single. The tracklisting says that the “Junior Sound Factory Mix” is 11:43 long. Now, I recoded this sucker twice to be sure, and it’s coming out to about 11:07 for me. If it’s skipping over a 30 second bit of the song it’s doing a damn good job of hiding it.

Boy George
Don’t Take My Mind On A Trip (Main Club 12″)
Don’t Take My Mind On A Trip (12″ U.K. Acid Dub)
Don’t Take My Mind On A Trip (Boris & Chris 12″)
Don’t Take My Mind On A Trip (Main Club 12″)
I am NOT gay for Boy George. Sorry. These tracks are from a 12” single that bought mostly to see if the “acid” mix really was acid house. It sadly wasn’t . Not a bad track really, but not at all my style.

Posted in Boy George, Cyndi Lauper, remixes | 4 Comments »

My Morning Sun will Self-Destruct in 5 Seconds.

April 8th, 2010

Fucking weather! It’s 84 today and it’s going to be 45 on Friday. My nose is going to fall off.

But hey, music!

Adam Clayton & Larry Mullen
Mission: Impossible Theme (Mission Accomplished) (Dave Clarke Remix)
Mission: Impossible Theme (Mission Accomplished)
Theme From Mission: Impossible (Junior’s Hard Mix)
Theme From Mission: Impossible (Guru Mix)
Theme From Mission: Impossible (Junior’s Hard Mix – Edit)
Theme From Mission: Impossible (Tribal Beats)
I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for this meeting:

Executive 1: “Hey everyone, we got the two guys from U2 to record the new Mission: Impossible Theme!”
Executive 2: “Wow! We got Bono and The Edge?”
Executive 1: “No…the other two.”
Executive 2: “You’re fired.”

That being said, this song is probably one of five U2-related songs recorded since1996 that I haven’t fucking hated with a passion. These remixes of the theme song from the Tom Cruise monstrosity were taken from a 12” single.

New Order
True Faith (Morel’s Extra Dub)
True Faith (Philip Steir Dub)
True Faith (Morel’s Pink Noise Club Mix)
True Faith (Philip Steir Club Mix)
True Faith (Morel’s Calling Shifty Dub)
More New Order that I didn’t have before! That’s amazing. Twice in a month! Even more amazing is that when I picked up this 2×12” promo last week I actually recognized these two remixers by name. Morel is an amazing remixer, and his mixes for the Pet Shop Boys and Depeche Mode are all must-listens. He’s also a solo artist, and his 2008 album The Death of a Paperboy was…well…kinda crap. But hey, he has the remixes going for him, which is nice. Philip Steir is also an accomplished remix artist; he did that bitchin’ remix of Steppenwolf’s “Magic Carpet Ride” that was on the soundtrack to Go. But anyways, all of these mixes are pretty damn good. It doesn’t hurt that True Faith has one of the catchiest choruses of all time.

Posted in New Order, remixes, U2 | 5 Comments »

EAT ELECTRIC DEATH! The Tempest 2000 Soundtrack

April 1st, 2010

My friend Anna Hegedus recently bought an Atari Jaguar. Don’t worry, she already apologized. It was one of the few remaining holes in her classic console collection, which already included legendary duds like the 3D0 and the Phillips CDi. So she was pretty hardcore about tracking one down. She was so hardcore that she paid…well I’m not going to say what she paid, it was a lot…for a Jaguar-themed bundle on eBay.

The box of suck included an Atari Jaguar (still in box) and an Atari CD add-on (very hard to find). It also included several games, including copies of Dragon’s Lair and Space Ace that were signed by Don Bluth.

With baited breath Anna and I hooked up the Jaguar today for a test drive (sorry, bad pun) and we quickly plowed through the batch of horrendous suckfests that were the Atari Jaguar software library. We bore witness to a horrendous port of Doom, the shitty space shooter Cybermorph, and the Jaguar CD’s horrendous port of Blue Lightening, an Afterburner rip-off that was actually a sweet Lynx title. We even booted up the pinnacle of shit, the movie-based White Men Can’t Jump, which played and looked like NBA Jam covered in about 50 tons of raw sewage.

However, there was one diamond in the shit-stained rough; Tempest 2000.

Tempest 2000 is a remake of the original Tempest, an arcade classic from 1981 and it kicks eight different kinds of ass. It’s the most frantic and fast-paced shooter you’ll ever play and it’s crazy psychedelic explosions made the game an acid trip in cart form. There were other versions of the game released on other systems but the Atari Jaguar version remains the best.

And not only did Anna’s box of Atari ass contain the original Tempest 2000 (in the box, complete with instructions to boot) but it also included one more bit of Tempest-related goodness…

Tempest 2000: The Soundtrack
The Tempest 2000 soundtrack KICKS ASS, and it’s one of the reasons why the Jaguar version remains the definitive release. It’s an amazing collection of acid house inspired techno and entirely original. It’s a bit derivative and definitely silly as hell, but so was most “legit” electronic music at the time. If you like old-school Moby, The KLF or FSOL then you need to listen to this soundtrack, it’s the best techno album you never heard.

Now if you visit Amazon you can buy this soundtrack, and many of you probably know that I try not to post music that’s in print and easily available. However, I’m making an exception this time around, and for various reasons:

1. This technically isn’t available at Amazon, it’s being sold by an independent retailer through Amazon’s site.

2. The retailer himself says that the soundtrack is out of print.

3. This soundtrack was released by Atari, and they no longer exist

Does that make me a hypocrite who’s over-rationalizing? Maybe. But I don’t care. The fact remains that this album is out of print, it kicks ass and you should listen to it right now!

Also go visit Anna Hegedus’ amazing site, where she’ll show you how to fix your NES, make your 360 full of pretty lights and much more!

Also, if you like Tempest 2000 then check out this excellent lecture by Jeff Minter, the crazy motherfucker behind it all.

No llamas were harmed the in making of this post.

Posted in Complete Albums, Tempest, video game music | 4 Comments »

Songs About Partying and Responsible Driving

March 26th, 2010

I am in an excellent mood! That’s right. Boo-yah! Bet you didn’t see that coming! Let’s celebrate with two of the happiest songs of all time.

Cyndi Lauper
Hey Now (Girls Just Want To Have Fun) (Junior’s Sound Factory Mix)
Hey Now (Girls Just Want To Have Fun) (Techno Main Mix)
Hey Now (Girls Just Want To Have Fun) (Straight Up Pass)
Hey Now (Girls Just Want To Have Fun) (Factory Dub)
Hey Now (Girls Just Want To Have Fun) (Techno Dub)
I love Cyndi. She was probably my first crush…which explains a lot. It’s not fair that she vanished into B-level oblivion, reduced to reality TV shows. Terri Nunn’s appearance on RuPaul’s Drag Race got me hooked on that show, which is something I thought would never happen. But the same will never happen for Celebrity Apprentice, even thoughCyndi Lauper is a contestant at the moment. The only way I would ever watch that show is if I knew it would end with Cyndi not only winning the competition but celebrating by ripping off Donald’s fucking head and using it as a microphone whilst singing “Money Changes Everything.” Then she’d drop kick it into the audience and rock out with She-Bop. But that’s (probably) not going to happen huh?

These remixes are of the “Hey Now” version of the song, which first appeared on her greatest hits compilation Twelve Deadly Cyns…and Then Some. That version is entirely different than the original, and these remixes make it even more out there, changing the vibe of the album to a late-80s/early-90s house one. It’s pretty rad in my opinion. Although I’m sure my roommate is concerned by my consistent rocking out to it.

Geggy Tah
Whoever You Are (Hallucination’s Sunday Driver Mix)
Whoever You Are (The Vagabond Mix)
Whoever You Are (Hallucination’s Drive-By Dub)
Whoever You Are (Hallucination’s Sunday Driver Instrumental)
This is the song from that Mercedes commercial from a few years back. You know it. It’s the “All I wanna do is to thank you even though I don’t know who you are/you let me change lanes while I was driving in my car.” And with that typed lyric this song you have this song stuck in your head and I’ve ruined your weekend. You’re welcome.

Sidenote: As much as I love this little ditty I think the fact that there are four remixes of it serves as definitive proof that the 90s remix craze was a little excessive.

Sidenote to the sidenote: For those who care it’s worth noting that a couple of these mixes are by Rabbit In The Moon.

Posted in Cyndi Lauper, Geggy Tah, remixes | 8 Comments »

Return of Trip The Moog Fantastic

March 24th, 2010

Past few posts have been nothing but 80s/90s gold. Well, now for something COMPLETELY different. This is the kind of shit I listen to when I really want to forget about the real world.

Marty Gold
Moog Plays The Beatles
Okay, before I get to the wackiness involved with this I have to make a confession. I stole these MP3s.

Well, not really. I do own this album. But when I recorded it way back when it was on my shitty turntable that spun too fast. I didn’t want to post those versions, but I also didn’t want to dig the LP out of my massive stacks of unorganized records and re-record it either. Luckily an awesome blog called 36 15 Moog posted it and the author of that blog kindly gave me permission to steal from him. I recommend everyone check out that AMAZING blog if you want even more Moogy madness. His recording equipment is amazing because this copy sounds crystal fucking clear. Dude gets props in my book. I just added that blog (and other outstanding blogs by the same guy) to my blogroll. Check them out.

Now, with that out of the way we can discuss this amazingly stupid record. It’s an early entry in the Moog craze, coming out in 1969, just a year after Wendy Carlos’ amazing Switched On Bach started the craze, and it’s particularly sly in combining the Moog mania with the tail end of Beatlemania. As Moog novelty records go it’s fairly good if not at all experimental or adventurous. I have worse Moog records for sure though, it’s hard to make “Eleanor Rigby” unlistenable after all.

The Electronic Concept Orchestra
Moog Groove
I know very little about this “group.” I use quotes because I’m pretty damn certain it was most likely just a couple dudes with a Moog, a drumkit and a dream. The back cover of the record (which you can read here) is one of many Moog album linear notes to go off on the “new sounds” that the Moog could create. That seemed to be a fascination with the Moog when it first came out. Everyone wanted to hear a “new sound.” I suppose that makes sense, and you could probably mirror that fascination with the auto-tune/robovoice of today. That being said, Moog Groove isn’t really packed with “new sounds” as much as it is packed with old sounds done in a slightly new way. I can’t imagine anyone from 1969 buying this record and upon first listen proclaiming “My god! I’ve never heard a sound like this before! My ears, they are awoken from a slumber that I didn’t even know they were in!”

The selection is a little weak as well. Like every single fucking Moog album ever made it includes a version of “Aquarius” from Hair, as well as its own fair share of Beatles covers. The take on “Grazing In The Grass” is pretty fun though. It’s also fun to compare the two version of Penny Lane and Hey Jude on both of these albums to see how different artists used the Moog. While Marty Gold used a simple guitar-like sound for the melody of “Penny Lane” The ECO went for a faux-vocal approach, which fits the song much better in my opinion. Both are stupid fun regardless. Enjoy and I’ll probably have some more “normal” music up later this week. In the mean time if you want to hear some amazing Moog-based music check out this post. If you want to hear some hysterically odd Moog tunes go here. You should check out this other post if you want to here some pre-Moog electronica. And click at your own risk here if you’re retarded and horny for even more Moog.

Posted in Complete Albums, Moog | 1 Comment »

Confusion!!! And other stuff.

March 23rd, 2010

Ah spring, fresh air, sunny days…and fucking relentless dog barking thanks to my shitty neighbors leaving their poor dogs out alone all day.

A quick mini-rant. I’m trying to be more positive nowadays so it’s not going to be especially vitriolic. Sorry guys, being an angry prick 24/7 wasn’t good for my health.

I kind of made a big deal earlier this year about some troll-like comments the blog was getting. I don’t mind being corrected for my mistakes, I don’t even mind a bit of snarky attitude. But getting consistently harassed for either incredibly small mistakes or for things that aren’t actually mistakes at all is really annoying and disheartening. I have real problems that I’m dealing with right now that depress me enough, I don’t need some worthless punk who would never dare talk to me that way to my face giving me grief over the internet.

So anyways, starting now needlessly vile, mean-spirited or hate-filled comments will no longer be approved by yours truly. That doesn’t mean you can’t tell me I suck, please tell me I suck. But tell me WHY I suck and do it in an intelligent manner.

Funny note about this whole thing: I warned one offending commenter that if he didn’t clean up his act I would no longer approve his comments. He of course didn’t and now he’s banned. I said as much in the comment thread and he then commented again, saying that my readers reading this comment would know I’m a coward for not publishing it…

There’s a logic flaw there. I’ll leave it to you to figure out.

And besides, if that somehow makes me a coward fine. I’d rather be a happy coward than an angry brave idiot arguing over bullshit that doesn’t matter in the first place.

New Order
Confusion (Alternative Mix)
Confusion (Essential Mix)
Confusion (Trip 1-Ambient Confusion)
Confusion (Accapella)
Confusion (Con-om-fus-ars-ion Mix)
Confusion (Ooh-Wee Dub)
I now have over 20 New Order singles, in fact it may be a lot more than that. Those are just the ones I’ve recorded to my computer. I really need to start a list of all the damn records I own. My collection isn’t even in alphabetical order aside from my Depeche Mode collection, which has its own separate section which I worship everyday. Aren’t there websites or something where you can catalog the shit you own? Are they any better than just writing up a big excel file?

These mixes of “Confusion” are odd. They aren’t from the original Factory single but instead from a 1990 single released by Minimal Records. I feel fairly confident in proclaiming these aren’t in print in any form. I also feel confident in proclaiming that “Con-om-fus-ars-ion Mix” is the most annoying thing I had to type all month.

Garbage
Push It (Victor Calderone Club Mix)
Push It (Victor Calderone Dub Mix)
Push It (Boom Boom Satellites Mix)
There is supposedly a new Garbage CD coming out this year. That makes me happy.

That third mix has a funny name unless you know that Boom Boom Satellites is actually the name of a band, a damn good band from Japan in fact. I actually saw Boom Boom Satellites live once. They opened for Moby in 1999 during his first tour in support of Play. They were amazing live but everything I’ve heard on CD just hasn’t compared for some reason.

Now yes, the Boom Boom Satellites mix is on the 2-disc version of Absolute Garbage, however, that version is actually an edit of this version that cuts about a minute or so out. This one is extra Boom Boom for your buck.

Yeah, sorry about that.

Posted in Garbage, New Order, remixes | 14 Comments »

Actually, I Wish I Was A Little Bit Shorter

March 21st, 2010

Weird combo of stuff for your Sunday listening pleasure.

Primal Scream
Come Together (Farley Mix)
Loaded (Farley Mix)
Loaded (Weatherall Mix)
Ramblin’ Rose (Live)
Man…I’m so mellow now I just…yeah…groovy.

I wish the Acid House scene would have hit bigger in America, especially the rock-oriented part of it. It’s a shame that neither Primal Scream nor The Stone Roses were able to parlay their beat-heavy rock freak-outs into American success, I guess we were too busy doing heroin at the time. Primal Scream’s “Come Together” is in my opinion the second-best song to carry that name (the first is Spiritualized version, and three is Soundgarden’s retarded cover of The Beatles’ original). “Loaded” is no doubt the best track ever to sample a Fonda as well. I just realized that’s my second Fonda family reference this year. Freaky.

These mixes are from a 12” single. Now, apparently I’m under increased scrutiny to get my sources/availability right so let me say that these songs were at one point available in America via various singles. However those are all out of print. Now there is a version of the Farley Mix on the US version of the album Screamadelica, but it’s considerably longer than this one, which must be a single edit. If I am wrong about any of this please correct me in a kind and respectful fashion and I’ll send you a cookie.

Skee-Lo
I Wish (Old School Dub)
I Wish (Concrete Jungle Mix)
I Wish (Mama’s Street Dub)
I Wish (Soulwax Mix)
I love this song. Love love love love it. I love singing along to it, especially since I’m a fucking giant and me saying “I wish I was a little bit taller” is funny to me and stupidly annoying to anyone else. The “Concrete Jungle” mix is really an odd one. It’s exactly what the name suggests, a mid-90s jungle mix complete with crazy-ass cut-up drums. This is a real, officially-released mix, not some white-label bootleg mash-up.

For that download the Soulwax mix, which splices in “Eye Of The Tiger” and The Breeders’ “Cannonball.” I didn’t get that from the same 12” that the other mixes are from, I found it on the interwebs ages ago. It is not the same version that appears on Soulwax’s excellent 2 Many Djs Part 2 album, that’s part of a mix and is considerably shorter than this one. Anyways, the previously mentioned 12” also had the “street” mix, which you can download on Amazon and iTunes so I’m not putting it here. You can also download a new “rock” version of “I Wish” but I wouldn’t recommend it.

Posted in Primal Scream, remixes, Skee-lo | 6 Comments »

Perpetual Blog

March 17th, 2010

Tonight’s post is made of win, full of epic, all that shit.

The Orb
Perpetual Dawn (Solar Flare Extended Mix)
Perpetual Dawn (Ultrabass II)
Perpetual Dawn (Ultrabass I)
Perpetual Dawn (Solar Youth Mix)
Star 6 & 7 8 9 (Phase II)
“Perpetual Dawn” is probably my least favorite track off of The Orb’s Adventure’s Beyond The Ultraworld. And before you ask, yes it’s because of the random “blahblabblah” vocals. It has ALWAYS bugged me it always will. However, it’s still an awesome tune and since some of these remixes downplay that little bit of vocal retardation, it’s a bit easier for me to get behind them than the original version. To the best of my knowledge the only one of these that you can go out and buy is the “Ultrabass II” mix, which is on the deluxe version of the aforementioned album. However, that version never came out in the states, so I’m gonna make an exception to my rule that I rarely go by anyways and post it. And if you like The Orb click here. Blue Room.

Kraftwerk
Robotnik (Kling Klang Extended Mix)
Robotronik (Kling Klang Mix)
Funny and totally random story. I used to be way into the Sonic games as a kid (I grew out of them after part three, which was good timing considering how much ass they are now). The Americanized name of the villain in that game is Dr. Robotnik, pronounced “Robot-Nik” I, in my infinite stupidity, pronounced it “Robo-tink” which sounds like some fucked up robotic sex toy. These two versions of “The Robots” are remixes of the version that is on their 1991 album The Mix, which was itself a remix. It’s confusing. Don’t think about it. Just listen to the German techno and be happy.

Saint Eitenne
Who Do You Think You Are (Strobelights & Platform Shoes Mix)
Who Do You Think You Are (Saturday Night Fever Dub)
Who Do You Think You Are (Nu Solution Mix)
Who Do You Think You Are (Tilt Dub)
Who Do You Think You Are (Quex-Rd)
I totally forgot I had these. Not only that, I totally forgot buying this 12” single, recording it, tagging the MP3s and adding them to my iTunes collection. I wasn’t even on drugs or drinking (I think) when I did all of that either. The only reason I found these tracks is because I recently bought more Saint Eitenne. I’m used to finding weird shit when I clean my room (old socks, a Spin magazine from 1999, my copy of Purple Rain on vinyl) but the fact that I can lose shit on my computer is a whole other level of disorganization that I’m almost a little bit proud of.

Oh, and these are good remixes, enjoy.

Posted in Kraftwerk, remixes, St. Etienne, The Orb | 8 Comments »

Chaka Mad!

March 12th, 2010

I lost power today, two of my fish decided it would be fun to swim into the filter (I don’t know how they knocked the arm off, must’ve been a suicide pact) and despite the fact that it hit the mid-60s today there’s still a mountain of black snow in front of my driveway that is like Ice-nine in its resistance to room temperature. And I don’t even have any good industrial music to post in response to this shitstorm. Grr. Maybe some bitchin’ jams will cheer me up.

Chaka Khan
I Feel For You (Remix)
I bought this 12” single on Tuesday, ever since then I have randomly been muttering “Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan.” Just now it occurred to me to google “Wrath of Chaka Khan” and I found this.

Okay, I’m happy now.

And just to stop all the hating haters who want to hate (yes, I’m aware of the stupidity of that statement), this specific remix is not the remix that is on Chaka Khan’s remix compilation.

P!nk
Get This Party Started/Sweet Dreams (Featuring Redman)
Get This Party Started (Remix) (Featuring Lady May)
Get The Party Started (Ernie’s All Night Anthem)
Get The Party Started (Pink Noise Disco Mix)
I really hate spelling Pink’s name with an exclamation point, but in order for my Last.fm stats to be 100% accurate it appears I have to do that from now on. Stupid OCD making me insaner. That first remix is totally bizarre, who thought to interpolate Sweet Dreams, a dark and disturbing new wave classic, with a super upbeat ode to rocking out? Odd. While the generically-titled “remix” lives up to its nothing name, “Ernie’s All Night Anthem” is a great slice of Hi-NRG house, and the “Disco Mix” certainly sounds like it could have been recorded in the late-70s/early-80s. It’s always amazing to me how much production work can change a song. All of these mixes are from the same 12” DJ promo single.

St. Etienne
Only Love Can Break Your Heart (Kenlou B-Boy Mix)
Only Love Can Break Your Heart (Masters At Work Dub)
Only Love Can Break Your Heart (A Mix In Two Halves)
Only Love Can Break Your Heart (Bonus Beats)
There’s a lot of talk as to why St. Etienne never broke through in America. Some blame their hard-to-define sound, others the state of dance music in the states. I honestly think it’s because their name is impossible to spell/pronounce. At least it is to me. These remixes of their debut single/Neil Young cover are all from a 12” single. They’re also all fairly awesome.

Posted in Chaka Khan, Pink, remixes, St. Etienne | 8 Comments »

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »