Also, Depeche Mode.

May 13th, 2010

Okay, now that my rant is out the way…MUSIC!

Depeche Mode
Fragile Tension (Stephan Bodzin Remix)
Fragile Tension (Kris Menace’s Love On Laserdisc Remix)
Hole To Feed (Paul Woolford’s Easyfun Ethereal Disco Mix)
Perfect (Ralphi Rosario Dub)
Peace (Hervé’s ‘Warehouse Frequencies’ Remix)
Peace (Sander Van Doorn Remix)
I almost went a full month without putting up some Depeche Mode. Thank god I fixed that. These are from the 2×12” single for Fragile Tension/Hole To Feed. Notice that they are mostly different than the remixes that are on the CD single of the same name that is readily available on Amazon and I highly recommend buying. Also notice that one of these remixes is called “Kris Menace’s Love On Laserdisc Remix.” And speaking as someone who has a LaserDisc player hooked up to his computer, I say bravo to that.

Posted in Depeche Mode, remixes | No Comments »

Do It Big Tickets Sucks

May 13th, 2010

Tonight there are two posts. One without music and one with. I don’t want to sully the music with tonight’s little diatribe. If you only come here for the tunes then just skip this post all together.

I hate the fact that I have to moderate my comment section. I wish people could just post away on there. But that can’t happen. I first had to enable comment moderation because of some random sick fucker posting stuff I won’t get into. But I had to keep it up because I get an insane amount of spam comments. They’re all the same, something like “I love your blog. What do you think of RANDOM GENERATED PRODUCT” with a link to a shit site. They are incredibly annoying.

I’ve been getting a ton recently from one site. I seemingly can’t reject them as fast as they show up. It’s maddening. Now, I’m sure these asshole WANT me to mention their site, because they want hits. Well I am going to mention their site, but not in the way they want.

Now, no matter what you do, DON’T GO TO THIS SITE for reasons that will become abundantly clear in the coming paragraphs.

The site spamming my blog is Do It Big Tickets. They’re scalpers. I fucking hate scalpers. I really fucking hate how scalping is somehow legal now, but that’s not the point of this rant. If Do It Big Tickets wants to make money by being the scum sucking cockmongers of the live music industry, then more power to them. But Do It Big Tickets should know that spamming other sites comment section is not an effective or ethical way to shill their useless site on the masses.

They don’t even do it right! The comments are lame, generic and don’t even mention the site’s name. I write SEO (Search Engine Optimized) content for a living, and let me tell you, these comments would never do a good job at generating hits or improve search results.

Maybe I should show them how it’s done then…

Are you looking for someone to rob you, pour sugar in your gas tank and punch your dog in the face? The go to Do It Big Tickets! Do It Big Tickets is your number one source for unethical business practices, shoddy customer service and infated ticket prices. In fact, Do it Big Tickets is the number one site on the internet for illegal business practices and price gauging. Want to see your favorite band for an affordable price? You can’t! Because Do It Big Tickets hates you. Remember, if you want to pay too much for tickets, get ripped off and treated like shit then Do It Big Tickets is the site for you!

Now, that is SEO content. See how often I mentioned the site’s name, usually next to words liek “scam,” “illegal” and “price gauging”? That might help influence search results. Having their name in the title of this post certainly will. It’s done wonders for Pitchfork Editor Scott Plagenoef search results (see the fifth one down) and those who want to know if Sting is a pussy.

Man I’m glad this site isn’t read by anyone. Because that was incredibly unprofessional and immature.

Posted in fuck you too, No music | 8 Comments »

Foxy Shazam and Seven Inches of Raw Power

May 9th, 2010

How is everyone on this lovely evening? I am in an exceptionally good mood. I saw Pearl Jam perform 2+ hours of awesomeness in Cleveland yesterday and am still riding my Vedder high. That was the eighth time I’ve seen them live and I’m already jonesing for more.

Speaking of awesome amazing stupendous things I feel the need to rave a bit about a band I recently discovered. I mentioned them briefly a few days ago but I don’t think I did them enough justice.

Foxy Shazam are fucking awesome. I had never heard of these guys before last week, when I was assigned their CD to review for one of the sites I work for (I’ll link to my review when it’s up). I wanted to listen to them at first because A) They have an amazing name and B) They’re playing Lollapalooza this year and since I’ll be there I like to know the bands I might be seeing beforehand.

I knew nothing about these guys before I started playing the CD. It stars, there’s dogs barking. I’m confused. Then a man with a voice of Freddie Mercury on ‘roids (Eric Sean Nally) starts some polite crooning…before unleashing a beastly howl that is a sonic slap of super sexy awesome. From that second on this band has been my obsession. This album, which is self-titled, is without a doubt my first contender for album of the year. And if it had come out one year prior it would have made my top five albums of that decade. Yes. It’s that fucking good.

Now, why am I going off on this? Why don’t I do this for every album I love this much Well, if I heard albums this unbefuckinglievable more often I would. But this is the first time in recent memory that I can recall falling in love with a record this much. According to my Last.fm stats I have listened to Foxy Shazam over 180 times in the past week. Number two for that time period is LCD Soundsystem – and that’s only because I had to review their new album as well.

(And on a quick aside, This Is Happening is the anti Foxy Shazam and is the worst album I’ve heard from an artist I liked since I can’t remember when. “Drunk Girls” is a shit rip-off of “White Lines/White Heat” (edit: “White LIGHT/White Heat, I’m retarded,) and aside from three very good tracks the whole thing is an abortion of a record that should be set aflame and forgotten).

For whatever reason, this record is not getting the promotion it deserves. I haven’t seen any notable reviews on Pitchfork, Stereogum or any blogs of note. And I’m not hearing the songs on commercials, in trailers or anywhere else for that matter. I do know that “Unstoppable” played briefly during the Super Bowl, but that was months ago. I don’t even think they’ve released a single since the album came out. Which is fucked up. “Wanna-Be Angel” should be force-fed to every radio station in the country!

I urge all of you to BUY Foxy Shazam’s new self-titled album. BUY it. Don’t download it. Don’t get the MP3s from a friend. Fucking go to the record store (or iTunes or Amazon, whatever) and spend your hard-earned cash on it. It will without question be the best 10 bucks you spend all damn year. And if you listen to that record and somehow are not completely blown away by the amazing awesomeness of it. If you aren’t convinced that Foxy Shazam are the best RAWK band in the world and that they should by all rights be selling out stadiums around the world, well then you don’t have permission to read my blog anymore.

Yeah. So I like them. Anyways, all of tonight’s music (completely unrelated to Foxy Shazam) was taken from 7” Record Store Day exclusives.

Tegan And Sara
Alligator
Hell
The Cure
On Directing
Have you bought Sainthood yet? You should. It’s amazing. It’s better than The Con, but not as good as So Jealous, which I love more so because I think about half the tracks on that CD were either written specifically about me or several of my best friends. Seriously, some of the tracks on that one were freakishly close to home.

Passion Pit
Little Secrets (Felix Da Housecat Pink Enemy Remix)
Chicks dig Passion Pit. If you’re a dude who likes chicks and you don’t like this group you should pretend you do at the very least. I wrote an article about the kinds of songs you should put on a mixtape, and this would be a good one for that. Whenever that article ends up online I’ll be sure to link to it.

Against Me!
I Was a Teenage Anarchist (Acoustic Version)
I’m loving this song right now. I always enjoy it when a band has the balls to insult their fanbase in an intelligent way. Mindless Self Indulgence did it brilliantly with their scathing You’ll Rebel To Anything, a record so critical of the Hot Topic culture it made the band’s exclusivity deal with the retailer even more depressing, and Against Me have done it with this excellent track. Against Me are frequently labeled as a “sell out” band because they had the nerve to become better musicians and sign to a major label. This song turns the tables on those proclaiming sell out and explains that ideals are a hell of a lot easier to live by until you get to the real world. Besides, anarchists are such whiny little cowards anyways. I was happy to see them get maced by the police during the G20 protests. Because putting on black handkerchiefs and running around like idiots is a surefire way to start the revolution. Pussies.

Posted in Against Me, Foxy Shazam is the motherfucking real deal, Passion Pit, Tegan and Sara | No Comments »

I know what I have and I still have it. So hah.

May 7th, 2010

Random pop culture recommendations:

Foxy Shazam’s new self-titled CD is un-be-fucking-lievable. Buy it.
How To Train Your Dragon is amazing. See it in 3D if you can.
The Protomen kick ass. Buy everything they have and see them live if possible.

Janet Jackson
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Def Club Mix)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Def Radio Mix)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Armand Van Helden Speedy Garagez Mix)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Nellee Hooper Master Mix)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Jimmy Jam Mellow Mix)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Ummah’s Uptown Saturday Night Mix)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Original Extended Version)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Ummah Jay Dee’s Revenge Mix)
Got ‘Til It’s Gone (LP Instrumental)
This is probably my fifth favorite Janet Jackson song. Behind “Nasty,” “Rhythm Nation,” “Control” and “If.” Although that last one is probably my favorite solely because of the video which was just…damn. Sure it may not be that risque now but it left quite the impression on me when I was 12.

But anyways, were here to talk about this song, which was apparently produced by the late great J. Dilla. And if you know who J. Dilla is then you probably already knew that. You also probably already knew that the “Ummah” mixes of the song were remixed by the Dilla also. Well look at you, aren’t you smart. Show off. These are from a 12” single.

Madonna
Causing a Commotion (Silver Screen Mix)
Causing a Commotion (Dub)
Causing a Commotion (Movie House Mix)
Now, don’t get me wrong, “Causing a Commotion” is an excellent pop song. I love it. That’s why I bought the 12” single. But the “Movie House Mix,” is nearly 10 minutes long. And unlike “Atomic Dog,” you can have too much of this number. The six-minute “Silver Screen Mix” is far more palpable. You’ve been warned. Also listening to either version will probably cause the chorus to be stuck in your head for about six hours.

Posted in J. Dilla, Janet Jackson, Madonna, remixes | No Comments »

The Best MP3 Blog from 1987

May 4th, 2010

Tonight’s post is epically stupid in all the best ways.

Don Henley
All She Wants To Do Is Dance (Extended Dance Remix)
All She Wants To Do Is Dance (Dubb Remix)
So The Eagles suck, but I have a theory about that. Although I think The Eagles are one of the single worst bands ever to exist in the history of reality, they have some amazingly talented members. The most notable of these is of course Joe Walsh, who crafted three of the greatest rock songs of the the 1970s (“In The City,” “Rocky Mountain Way” and the immortal “Life’s Been Good”). But let’s not forget Glenn Fry, who gave us three amazing pop tracks in the 80s (“The Heat Is On,” “You Belong In The City” and “Smuggler’s Blues”). And then there’s Don Henley, who served up some of the best cheese of the 80s with hits like the above track and “Dirty Laundry.”

So how do three superb song writers somehow manage to become the creative core of a group who was responsible for some of the most offensively bland drivel of the 1970s? Well, either Don Felder and Randy Meisner are aggressively awful songwriters who dominated The Eagles recording sessions, or there was just so much AWESOME in that band that it all canceled out. I just want to know who I have to blame for the existence of “Witchy Woman.” I hate that song more than anything ever in the history of anything. However, I do love me some “All She Wants To Do Is Dance” even though it’s a song so stupid that it should be forced to wear a helmet when it goes outside. These remixes of said stupid song are from a 12” single that I bought from an idiot at a record show in Green Tree, PA.

James Brown
Living In America (R&B Dance Version)
Living In America (Instrumental)
I FEEL GOOD! I also bought these from the same idiot in Green Tree. Why is this guy an idiot you ask? Okay, imagine you’re a record dealer at a semi-popular record show. You want to make money, you want to sell your product. Do you bother to stop by the bank beforehand to pick up some extra singles so you can dish out change? If you answered “yes, why that just makes sense, what do you take me for, a fucking idiot?” well then you’re smarter than this butthead. When he had to give me these records at a dollar off he was mad at ME, like it was my fault that HE was a flippin’ maroon. Also, the extra buck I saved meant that I was only overpaying nine bucks for these records instead of 10. This dipshit wanted 45 bucks for a Duran Duran 12” that was opened and in shit condition. Goober.

Anyways, this song is AWESOME. (There’s a lot of capitalized awesome in tonight’s post.) And is of course from Rocky IV, the greatest example of Cold War bullshit ever produced. I remember seeing that movie in theaters when I was six or seven. I immediately wanted to become a boxer for Ronald Reagan. I also kind of wanted to be Drago, because as a freakishly tall kid with a speech disorder I identified with him.

Hey, speaking of AWESOME, Stallone and Dolph Lundgren, have you all seen the trailer for The Expendables? You should watch it, but be careful, that trailer is so amazing that it might break your computer. I’m so stoked for that shit I’m almost aroused. Yeah, that was gross, but I don’t care. You know why? CUZ I FEEL GOOD!

Okay, maybe it’s time I go to bed.

Aztec Camera With Mick Jones
Good Morning Britain (Kitsch ‘n’ Sync Mix)
Good Morning Britain (Vocal Mix)
But I’m not gonna! These too are from a 12” single that I bought in Green Tree, but I didn’t pick them up from an idiot. I bought it from an exceptionally nice dude who had a shitload of Stone Roses 12” singles that nearly cleared out my wallet. This song is moderately awesome. Recommend it to all your friends.

Posted in Aztec Camera, Don Henley, James Brown, Mick Jones | 4 Comments »

It’s Time For Techno Motherfookers!

April 27th, 2010

I don’t like to swear in my post titles. So sue me. Mad props to the dude who discovered the source of the sample in last night’s post. You get a no-prize.

Guru Josh
Infinity (Much Much More)
Infinity (Spacey Saxophone Mix)
Infinity (1990’s…Time For The Guru 7” Mix)
Infinity (1990’s…Time For The Guru Mix)
Infinity (Mad Mix)
This is stupid, even for late-80s/early-90s techno. It’s so dumb I almost don’t like it, but that groovy smooth sax melody gets me every time. So apparently this was a hit single in Europe twice? Once in 1989 and then again in 2008/09? Wow. I mean, it’s not bad I guess, but really? It’s just so damned stupid.

Quadrophonia
Schizofrenia – The Worst Day Of My Life (Electrik Chair Mix)
Schizofrenia – The Worst Day Of My Life (Mark’s Ambient Heaven)
Schizofrenia – The Worst Day Of My Life (Omen Mix)
Schizofrenia – The Worst Day Of My Life (Tribal Tekno)
Schizofrenia – The Worst Day Of My Life (Electrik Edit)
But it really has nothing on this. While Infinity is stupid in a mildly entertaining kind of way, this shit is stupid in a so-damned-retarded-it’s-brilliant way. It’s almost like it was planned. IT’S TIME FOR TECHNO MOTHERFUCKERS! That’s actually a line in one of these remixes. Other choice vocal samples include various Chuck D/Flavor Flav vocal snippets, that one chick saying “bass” and that dude who says “hell yeah.” It even throws in some Beastie Boys samples at one point! All its missing is the James Brown “Woo! Yeah!” and the Amen Break and it would have won Acid House cliche bingo. Majestic idiocy at its finest.

Posted in Acid House, Guru Josh, Quadrophonia, remixes | 7 Comments »

I’d Want My Foot Back

April 26th, 2010

Hey, I interviewed someone from Big Audio Dynamite!

Hey, I reviewed the new edition of This Is Big Audio Dynamite!

Hey! Music from bands you probably never heard of!

Braindead Sound Machine
Where The Pavement Ends (Edit)
Where The Pavement Ends (Nitronic Mix)
The Living End
Soon Come, Goddamit
And the winner for the Wikipedia page Most Obviously Written by a Fan or Band Member goes to Braindead Sound Machine. Yikes. That thing is a nightmare. I put some stuff up by these guys before, they were on Wax Trax, which is pretty much the only reason why I bought this single in the first place. It’s been sitting in my “Songs For The Blog” playlist for about a year now, and in the spirit of spring cleaning I finally decided to post them. I actually dig “Where The Pavement Ends” it’s a pretty good upbeat dance tune that happens to have one of the most disturbing vocal samples I’ve ever hard the wonderful displeasure of hearing. If anyone can tell me where that particularly gruesome vocal sample is from I would appreciate it. Don’t bother telling me where the vocal samples on “Some Come, Goddamit” are from. You know someone as misanthropic as me has seen Network right?

Sheep On Drugs
15 Minutes of Fame (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)
I could have probably cut this into three separate MP3s, but the single listed them as one track and if I’m anything it’s a stickler for consistency. I’ve heard about half a dozen Sheep on Drugs tracks and this is by far my favorite. It’s also the longest, so that works out well.

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

I Need a Devo Hat

April 23rd, 2010

Some of you wanted to read the thing I wrote about trance music. It’s not much but here it is. Enjoy.

I’ve been writing for eHow for about a month now. It’s a pretty solid gig and I enjoy it. If you like that article check out the other stuff I’ve written there. Shocker: most of it is about audio and video.

Devo
Baby Doll (Extended Mix)
Baby Doll (Single Mix)
Baby Doll (Dub Mix)
Baby Doll (Devo Single Mix)
Baby Doll (Percapella)
Baby Doll (Sung In Swedish)
Agitated (Hyperextended Mix)
Devo! You know what’s cooler than Devo? Nothing. That’s a scientific fact that has been proven by science! You can’t deny it’s truth. Devo is playing Lollapalooza. I am going to Lollapalooza. I am more than stoked. I am going to watch them work it. Lolla’s line-up is pretty solid this year, minus the horrid Lady Gagagagaganess.

Yikes, digression. Anyways, Devo. They’re awesome. Let’s focus on that. Most of these tracks are from a 12” single for Baby Doll that was freaking sealed when I bought it last month, so they sound INCREDIBLE. The very odd Swedish version is from the soundtrack to Tapeheads. That was not sealed and sounds less incredible, but still pretty damn good. A few of these tracks were on the re-issued version of Total Devo that came out in the 90s, but that version of the album – heck all versions of that album – is out of print. So I don’t want to hear any “hey this isn’t that rare” bullshit. Don’t cramp my Devo high. New Devo this June! Fuck yeah!

Coheed & Cambria
Pearl of the Stars (Big Beige Demo Version)
Okay, you know what’s almost as cool as Devo? Claudio Sanchez’s hair. If you stare at it long enough it starts to stare back. It could beat Chuck Norris in a fight. This demo take of the quality track from Coheed’s latest brilliant piece of overblown insanity, The Year Of The Black Rainbow, is from a 7” picture disc that I got on Record Store Day. Good times.

Posted in Coheed And Cambria, demos, Devo, remixes | 3 Comments »

Many Miles Away Bigfoot Rocks Out

April 19th, 2010

I hope everyone enjoyed their Record Store Day and got plenty of nifty neato keen exclusive records. I sure as hell did and in the coming weeks I’ll probably be posting them. Until then here are some especially bitchin’ tracks that I’ve been meaning to share for a while now.

Steppenwolf – Magic Carpet Ride (Steir’s 1999 Ride Club Mix)
DJ Rap – Good To Be Alive (Deep Dish Remix)
Sometimes shit is creepy man. Not a week goes by after I mention how I wish I had a copy of Philip Steir’s remix of Magic Carpet Ride that I find it, on freaking vinyl, in a record store. Not only that, it’s an entirely different remix that’s twice as long as the version that I had on the soundtrack to Go all those years ago. Synchronicity man, Sting was right (had to happen eventually). Somewhere the Loch Ness Monster is getting ready to appear. It’s gonna happen. Or something. Maybe if I keep saying I need a beautiful six foot tall women who likes Gary Numan to show up at my doorstep that’ll happen to. Anyways, the vinyl that I got this from was a 4-track 2×12” sampler for the Go soundtrack that had also had the above remix of the DJ Rap song. Nice bonus. The other two tracks were on the regular CD version so I’m not posting them here.

Spizz
Where’s Captain Kirk (Extended Remix)
I don’t know if Spizz (aka Spizzenrgi aka Spizz Oil aka Athletico Spizz ’80 aka oh c’mon now…) deserved to be star, but he definitely deserved to be a one-hit-wonder. The original version of “Where’ Captain Kirk” remains the best song about Star Trek EVER and one of the best punk rock singles ever put to wax. He was also responsible for one of the strangest 30 second songs ever written “Clock are Big” and he appears in the greatest New Wave concert film ever. The greatness surrounding Spizz abounds.

This extended remix the punk rock track that boldly went where no punk rock track had gone before is not based off the original version, but is instead an extended take of synthed-out version that was recorded in 1987. It’s still great, but not as good as the original. I got this from a 12”.

Posted in DJ Rap, Philip Steir, Spizz, Sting Theories proved correct | 4 Comments »

IT’S RECORD STORE DAY!

April 17th, 2010

Turn off your computer and go buy some vinyl bitches.

Well, not now, it’s 1:15 in the morning, but you know what I mean.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

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