You know how moving is super stressful? Well, take that stress, multiply it by a billion, and you know how it feels to plan a move to an entirely different country. I have so much to do I fel like my head is going to explode and implode at the same time. But nothing makes me calm down like silly remixes to 80s pop music.
And while you’re listening to these awesome remixes of awesome 80s music, be sure to head over to Mostly-Retro, where I check out the new Donna Summer remix album and an amazing release featuring rarely heard tracks by Patrick Cowely.
Hopefully this week I’ll also be able to get up a review of the new edition of Bowie’s The Next Day as well as another edition in my oddly popular Collection Recollection series. We’ll see.
Vogue (Club St. John Mix)
I plan on re-recording several (dozen) of my singles before I box them all up and ship them into storage. Among these will probably be an insane amount of Madonna singles. So if you were a fan of my favorite post ever on this site, My Tongue Hurts Here re 32 Madonna Remixes, then you should probably keep an eye for that.
In the meantime, here’s a bootleg mix of “Vogue” that I grabbed off of a DJ-only mix LP. It’s a pretty good edit, and seven+ minutes of motherfucking “Vogue” is never a bad thing in my book.
Thieves In The Temple (Thieves In The House Mix)
Thieves In The Temple (Temple House Dub)
Sign ‘o’ The Time/The Prince Classic Mega Medley
The original version of “Thieves In The Temple” is from the soundtrack to Graffiti Bridge. I do not own the soundtrack to Graffiti Bridge because I am not a crazy person. Isn’t Tevin Campbell on that album? Yeah he is. See? That’s why I don’t own it. Also, I don’t own Parade, Sign ‘o’ The Times, Lovesexy or many other amazing Prince records. So I feel like I should really get them before I move on to the soundtrack to Prince’s worst movie (which is really saying something if you’ve seen Under A Cherry Moon).
The last track is actually two tracks according to the bootleg DJ record I ripped it from, but they segue together so seamlessly that it felt pointless to split them up. “Sign” takes up about the first four and a half minutes of the track, and then its nothing but classic Prince mixed together for 12 minutes straight. It’s a bit manic at times, almost someone is switching between an endless number of radio stations that are all playing Prince at the same time (oh man, how awesome would that shit be?) but it’s a fun listen. I can’t image any DJ ever played this in a club though, it’s entirely undanceable.
Was (Not Was)
Walk The Dinosaur (The New York Dangerous Version)
Walk The Dinosaur (Bruce’s Prehistoric Dub)
Walk The Dinosaur (The Debunking Of Uri Geller Mix)
Walk The Dinosaur (7″ Version)
Okay, I have to get this out of the way before I talk the song proper: “The Debunking Of Uri Geller Mix” easily has to be the best name of a remix I have ever seen. It dethrones Erasure’s “Chains Of Love (Truly In Love With The Marx Bros. Mix).” I love it. It makes no sense at all. Brilliant.
Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, this stupid fucking song. Y’know what? No. Strike that. This song is not stupid. I love this song. Did you know it’s about nuclear war? Yeah! Damn straight. Was (Not Was) was (not was) (sorry) dropping some deep social commentary on your ass, it just happened to be disguised as a silly dance craze.
That being said, the world probably didn’t need a seven-minute mix of the tune. which is what the first mix is. One can only take so many “Boom Boom Acka-lacka-lack-booms.” The awesomely-named Uri Geller mix does mix things up a bit though (no pun intended) and succeeds in justifying its existence just by its sheer weirdness – of course one could probably say the same thing about Was (Not Was) and their entire career.
If these mixes interest you then I suggest you check out either their 2010 compilation Hey King Kong! or the expanded edition of their debut album Out Come The Freaks. Both feature some pretty insane material that might blow your mind. Their really early stuff was all amazing.