Clean Your Needle Before Playing Dirty Records

Before I get to tonight’s weird-ass post, I would like to thank all of you who left words of encouragement after my last couple of posts. I wasn’t fishing for the compliments when I wrote the posts, but they were still nice to hear. In case anyone is wondering, I’m using a replacement turntable for the moment, which I will classify as “good enough.”

Sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that not everyone out there sucks. I have a hard time realizing that sometimes. Especially when you see jerks making jokes about Japan and comments about how it’s karmic payback for Pearl Harbor or some BS like that. I’ve been reading stuff like that for the past few days and it has literally made me sick. If you’ve said something like that in the past few days then I don’t want you to read my blog anymore.

I read a horrible article at Salon cautioning AGAINST donating money to help the people in Japan (because they somehow don’t need the help) and I’m fearful that ideas like that might take hold. Please, donate money to help the people in Japan. Sure, Japan is an industrialized nation with a stable, organized government but it’s a safe bet that they’re going to need all the help they can get. Red Cross. Go there. Donate. You can also do that text thing (REDCROSS to 90999 gives 10 bucks). If you’re aren’t living paycheck-to-paycheck then there is really no reason not to donate. Donate. Do it already. You can’t read the rest of this blog post until you do. And you’ll want to. I got some weird stuff for you all tonight.

Sex Is My Business
Side 1
Side 2
I buy a lot of records, and a lot more than music has been released on vinyl. There are children’s stories, audiobooks, radio plays, interactive storybooks, exercise programs, educational programs, historical documentaries, interviews, you name it, it’s been released on vinyl. I don’t buy a lot of those non-music records. Most are pretty stupid, and not in an entertaining way. But I have to admit that the name, and that cover, of this little gem peaked my interest. Also, it’s blue!


Sex Is My Business (1960) is a very odd record, even in the very odd market of “party records.” I’ll let the copy on the back of it speak for itself:

“The record is not available in record stores. It is one of the most startling and compelling records eve produced. SEX IS MY BUSINESS is the result of actual interviews with prostitutes, homosexuals, pimps and “Johns” in which we hear them tell the fascinating and almost unbelievable story of their lives; their experiences, how they work, what they do and why, the money the receive and the money they pay; their fears; anxieties, hopes and stranges loves…all in their own words in a frank, graphic and revealing description of a way of life few of us know or understand. This record may shock you. It’s meant to do just that! It’s a vital, true life documentary of a social manifestation in our culture that should not and cannot be ignored. This record is for adults only.”

Basically, its a collection of alleged interviews with real-life prostitutes. One kinda-sorta pimp is included near the end, but he seems more like a gigolo. And aside from a couple mentions of bisexual Johns and one lesbian encounter by a prostitute, the isn’t much in the way of homosexual content, so that copy is a bit of an exaggeration.

I don’t know if the interviews on Sex Is My Business are real or not. If anyone has any insight on that please email me and let me know! They do sound fairly convincing, and if they are faked performances then they are performed very well. Some parts are really sad,  some are really funny, and some are just plain weird (the story about the dude with the “velvet fetish” is a standout). Don’t expect any very explicit talk though. Sure, it’s an “adult record” but it’s still from 1960, so no details about specific acts nor talk about birth control and abortions or anything like that.

Real or not, this record is freaking fascinating. It’s a great product of its time, showcasing just how taboo topics like this were that you had to order a record about it through the mail to hear about it. But even that was hard. In 1961, Fax Records, the makers of Sex Is My Business and other fine adult records like “Stories Mother Never Told You” and “Sin Along With Us” was prosecuted by the federal government for sending obscene materials through the United States Post Office. Read about it here. I would love to find out more about that case.

I have some more weird records like this that I plan on sharing later this week or early next week. Hope you like the temporary change of pace.

5 Responses to “Clean Your Needle Before Playing Dirty Records”

  1. Homer J from UK says:

    A must hearing also then would be ‘Suck It Deep-Raw Sex’ & a remix of Madonna’s ‘Justify My Love’ that was on the Mahoney bootleg !

  2. batgrl says:

    I completely know how you feel about the Japan news – I’ve had to block out a lot of stupidity in the news as well. Oddly there’s a lot of people living in Japan posting on twitter in English who’ve been some of the best sources of what’s really going on – or at least what living through it all has felt like.

    Anyhow just remember that the nice people are often the quiet ones, while the more…er annoying folk are the loud ones. The loud ones are always more obnoxious and it only takes one of them to ruin things. Like the one bad drunk at the bar that you just wish would pass out so there could be some peace and quiet.

    The only thing I kept thinking through your record player problems was the needle – I got rid of some hissing noise once by not only changing my needle but buying a better one. Apparently I’d been using one that was old and cheap, and changing it out fixed some of the issues.

  3. Drain says:

    oh man, i’ve been trying to forget that “pearl harbor karmic retribution” crap for the past few days after reading some of their idiotic short-sighted rhetoric. words can not express how badly they need to stop existing…but alas.

    after listening to the record, it sounds like something i hope i can come across in the vinyl section of the record store i frequent here.

  4. Smirkdirk says:

    Totally dug this piece of weirdness. Not completely convinced its actually real, however, the interviewer’s sporadic “huh-huh’s” reminded me of a grown up, time traveling Butthead. Thanks!

  5. Stephen says:

    Thanks for the Japan shout-out. There’s lots of misery up north right now.
    I’m looking forward to giving the SEX IS MY BUSINESS rip a good listen.
    — Stephen (one of your loyal readers in Japan)

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