Spread This Noise

First up, some recent reviews:

Phil Asher & Mark de Clive-Lowe – Boutique Breaks: Nu-Jazz breaks. That’s all I got to say.

Street Sweeper Social Club – s/t: We get it Tom (and Boots) you wanna fuck the man.

Moby – Wait For Me: Pretty.

In related news, I interviewed Moby a bit ago. Read that too. It’s awesome.

Now onto the business at hand.

I like my blog. I like writing my stupid little rants and posting stupid remixes of stupid songs. It’s enjoyable. However, there’s one things I really hate about my blog and that’s all the damned email I get.

Sure, there’s the (very) occasional “I just wanted to say I love your blog, thanks!” message in my inbox, but most of the time it is instead flooded with automateed mass-emailers from retared PR agents, marketing teams and bands themselves looking to get themselves exposure on as many music sites as possible, even though many of them (lke mine) really don’t focus on new music.

Sure, I’ll occasionally get something cool, maybe word on the new Erasure album or something, but usually it’s just bullshit through and through. I hate these emails, they drive me crazy and no matter how many I unsubscribe from there are always more waiting for me.

This is my little message to the stupid little bastards who send these emails out. I know it will do no good since none of them actually READ MY BLOG, but it will sure as hell make me feel better.

To all the PR agents, marketing assholes and no-talent garage bands, indie-rockers, remixes, producers and DJs out there…

I don’t care about your remix. I don’t care that you took a popular(ish) song and added beats to it. That doesn’t impress me. You found the acapella off a torrent and added some loops thanks to your stolen version of ProTools. Piss off, you’re not a DJ, producer or remix artist. Please go away.

I don’t care about your digital EP. I don’t care that you and a few of your friends got together in your parent’s basement to churn out three or four average tracks that at best are as good as Hinder. And I really don’t care if the digital EP has a remix on it. See above.

I don’t care about your exclusive online promo. I don’t care that you’re giving me the opportunity to download a track from an upcoming album that will “be huge” and “drops soon.” I’m not your PR agent. And while you call it an online promo, I call it what it really is, a fucking MP3.

In fact, I don’t care about your band at all. This is a site that is dedicated to rare and hard-to-find music that at least some people fucking care about. It is not a site dedicated to exposing new and upcoming artists. And even if it was, I still wouldn’t be profiling 99% of the bands that I get emails from. Why? Because they all suck. And you don’t read my fucking blog. It’s obvious you don’t. It’s annoying. I don’t come to your show and say how awesome you are before I hear a single song, so don’t email me and tell me how awesome I am without reading the fucking site.

If you are a wanna-be band looking to make it huge, do yourself a fucking favor. Turn off the fucking computer, drop your fucking PR agent, get a fucking van and fucking go on fucking tour. Leave me (and every other besieged blogger) the fuck alone. We have real music to talk about.


And one more thing, I must be getting popular again (dammit) because the amount of requests for reposts has increased substantially over the past few months. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (because people don’t listen): I DON’T RESPOND TO REPOST REQUESTS! I don’t care how long you’ve been looking for the song, what the song means to you or how much you love my blog. Flattery will get you nowhere and neither will begging, pleading or offers for sexual favors (okay that might work, but I’d need a pic first). The only thing that will get me to even pay attention to you is an offer for something in return. And don’t bet on that either.

Because I have more music than you do. 37,668 itens, 117.3 days, 222.92 gigabytes worth. So y’know, just leave me alone.

Michael Jackson
Blood On The Dance Floor (Fire Island Vocal Mix)
Jam (Silky 12″ Mix)
Another Part Of Me (Extended Dance Mix)
Smooth Criminal (Extended Dance Mix)
They Don’t Care About Us (Love To Infinity’s Walk In The Park Mix)
Bad (Extended Dance Mix)
Black Or White (Clivillés & Cole House With Guitar Radio Mix)
Black Or White (The Civilles & Cole House Club Mix)
Billie Jean (Original 12′ Version)
I figured now was as good a time as ever to clear out all the remaining Michael Jackson remixes in my collection. Most of these originally appeared on 12” singles or CD maxi-singles, but in the interest of full disclosure I’ll be honest and say that I actually grabbed most of them off the internet. Michael Jackson singles have always been hard for me to find (even harder now) and the only one of these I actually own is “Smooth Criminal” but my version is scracthed to all hell. This one is better. God I love that damn song.

Non-MJ stuff later on this week.

13 Responses to “Spread This Noise”

  1. Tenno says:

    Ah I gotta disagree, me and you got roughly the same amount of music =)

    You rule as always though.

  2. The Mayor of Greene Falls says:


  3. Mr. Artist says:

    you are awesome…

  4. Anonymous says:

    HI I nee help and I think you are my last resort. Can find this anywhere. i heard a sng by MJ I think form the late 80s. It was called WALK I think. The DJ said it was popular in Philadelphia and New York. I cant seem to locate and dont remember the radio station. It was a great song, any ideas? Thanks and continued good work on here!! Debbie

  5. Tuff says:

    You are a complete muppet mate, boasting about the size of your library means nothing, I have more music than you do anyway, but Im not proud of it.

    I know that my taste and knowledge of good music exceeds yours by far.

    You shut probably shut down your blog if you are such a boasting, gloating little penis.

  6. The Lost Turntable says:

    Anonymous: No.

    Tuff: I was explaining that unless you really have some rare or hard-to-find stuff I probably have it/don't want it. Stay classy babe.

  7. Anonymous says:

    RE: Tuff's comments

    There are pricks out there that have no purpose in life other than to leave shitty comments on blogs – especially on blogs that do an awesome job giving us new and rare music.

    "I know that my taste and knowledge of good music exceeds yours by far." Hey Tuff – my taste and knowledge exceeds yours by far, so there! Get a life dude.

    LT – keep up the great work.

  8. Mr. Artist says:

    Debbie does not really get it does she? You're still awesome btw (and yes, sometimes I read a post twice, so? You wanna fight?) Ow right, I have 794 songs which covers about 3 days. So much for the greatness of my willie huh?

    Kudos for the "blood on the dancefloor" remix.

  9. Steve says:

    Every single one of those Jackson extended dance mixes are the same. They just add on a beat to the standard song with MJ's trademark howls and heees and snarls. I wish there was audio released from the "Smooth Criminal" video (that itself sounds like different insturmentation and vocals than is what on the actual 'Bad' album), and the various extended Billie Jean versions that exist during his live shows, carrying the base and drums in the middle of the song.

  10. Dylan says:

    R.I.P. MJ!

  11. Sveinbjorn says:

    Hi. I wholeheartedly agree with you. The music blog that I post to does cover new music and old, but I rarely find anything of real worth in the email, mostly shit bands and shit remixers.
    As we do post new stuff, I continue to sift through the emails, because occasionally (one in 500 mails or so) something crops up that is OK.

    I'm perplexed about your reposting policy though. I don't get these mails all that much, less than once a week, but I also send them out every once in a while, when I'm looking for a song and I can neither find it for sale nor via filesharing or google search.

    I don't do reposts, but if something is sufficiently obscure and hard to find I'll email it, if the person asks nicely. Since the purpose of this whole endeavor is to share the stuff I love, I don't mind doing it person to person as well as in broadcast form.

    I've never had to send you one of these mails though, as i've checked in here weekly for years 🙂

    Thanks for a great blog,

  12. Chris says:

    Sorry you get so much crap. I think I already thanked you ages back. If not, double thanks now. Yours is one of the three music blogs I just have to look at regularly (the others are sixeyes and motel de moka in case you were wondering, except m d m is not what it was)

  13. dontrushmate says:

    Good Lad, keep up the good work – spread the virus of good music, it`s well appreciated, thanks

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