Let’s Get Subconscious

March 10th, 2010

FYI: Listening to a song that has the repeated line “Let’s get unconscious” when you’re struggling to stay awake to get work done is not advisable.

Sade
Smooth Operator (12” Version)
This crazy-long version of “Smooth Operator” is smooth as shit. You’ll be listening to it and think “damn, this shit is smooth” and “I wish I could operate in a fashion as smooth as this operator operates” or something. Some might say that this version of “Smooth Operator” is too smooth. That it’s sexy smoothness and subtle sexiness might slip you into a state of permanent smooth jazz euphoria that you could never escape from. Those people might be right! So you’ve been warned. I got this off of a 12” promo single and I don’t believe that this particular version has ever been released commercially. If I am wrong please correct me in a polite manner.

Dead Or Alive
Something In My House (Mortevicar Mix)
Something In My House (Flamenco Mix)
Something In My House (US Wipe Out Mix-Part 2)
I bought this single per request. That’s right. I didn’t even own this until someone asked me to buy it and record it for them. How does one get such preferential treatment? Well, being my boss sure as hell helps let me tell you. So if you really want a rare 80s remix posted here, hire me to write CD reviews. Total win-win for everyone involved. I work very cheap. This 12” single was requested specifically for the Mortevicar Mix, which features random creepy samples from The Exorcist. Shockingly, the Flamenco Mix is accurately-named, what with it’s excessive flamenco guitars. I don’t know what makes the final mix so “US” though, maybe us Americans like excessive vocal stuttering and guitar solos?

Madonna
Bedtime Story (Junior’s Sound Factory Mix)
Bedtime Story (Junior’s Sound Factory Dub)
Bedtime Story (Orbital Mix)
Bedtime Story (Junior’s Wet Dream Mix)
Hey, this is the Madonna song that Bjork (kinda) wrote. Which is definitely the explanation for why it was the strangest Madonna single until “American Life.” However, unlike “American Life”, this song doesn’t suck joy out of life. I know a woman who can recite, by memory, the entire rap of “American Life”. She’s pretty awesome in spite of this though and I try not to hold it against her. It’s difficult though. It’s hard to talk to someone who doesn’t have taste in high art like the soundtrack to Howard the Duck after all.

Anyways, stuff about this song: Like I said before, it was written by Bjork, but was supposedly re-written so many of her lyrics were removed or changed. I don’t know how much of that I believe, but I read it on the internet so it must be true! These remixes are pretty stellar. My favorite is the one by Orbital, but Junior’s mixes are quality as well. This single had a dub of the unfortunately titled “Wet Dream Mix” but it was scratched beyond repair. Sorry.

Posted in Dead Or Alive, Madonna, remixes, Sade | 5 Comments »

Sex & Blogs & Rhythm Sticks

March 3rd, 2010

Pay attention. This is important.

I just got served. No, not in the “oh snap!” way but in the DMCA way. In case you’re wondering it was the Married To The Mob soundtrack that got me busted. Just like last time I don’t know WHO sent the DMCA because Google is run by a bunch of shitbags who won’t let me read the DMCA that names me. For those of you keeping track at home this is the second DMCA notice I’ve been served with. I’m suspecting that if I get hit with another that this blog will be shut down by Google.

But don’t threat! Even if this specific blog goes AWOL Lost Turntable will not. I may have mentioned this before but I own lostturntable.com. So bookmark that. If this blog ever vanishes into the copyright void, you’ll know where to find me. Actually I’ll probably be making the leap to that site eventually regardless, the only thing that’s stopping me is my complete lack of HTML skills and my complete hatred for every single template I’ve ever seen. I do have a friend working on my new template (the lovely Anna Hegedus) but she’s busy and I’m busy, so it’s going slowly.

So I’m asking for help once more. If anyone out there thinks they can convert this template (with some minor tweaks that I have in mind) to WordPress, which is the blogging software I’ll be using on my new site, please email me. My email address is located on this page. If you can’t find it then you probably shouldn’t be working on my website. I can’t pay anyone who helps me, but I will repay you with music and Pittsburgh-based positive vibes.

Furthermore, long time readers of my blog may know that I tend to fulfill remix requests in the month of March since it marks my blog’s “birthday” (Four years this year! Holy shit!) but since I am seemingly under watch at the moment I don’t think that would be wise. However if you email me I might hook you up in one way or another. Just don’t go nuts. A while ago someone not only sent me a request, but it was epic in length and they had the gall to ask if I could re-record the tracks so they would sound better! Wanker.

Tonight’s post is a repost of old material however, since I’ve been getting swamped with comments and emails for most of these tracks.

Oh, and thanks everyone for the kind words. I needed that.

Ian Dury And The Blockheads
Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick ’91 (The Flying Remix)
Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick (Live)
Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick (Disco Version)
Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick (Paul Hardcastle Remix)
Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll (Paul Hardcastle Remix)
Reasons To Be Cheerful (Paul Hardcastle Remix)
Wake Up (And Make Love To Me) (Paul Hardcastle Remix)
Really Glad You Came (Love Version)
Inspiration (Love Version)
Ian Dury is my hero. The man overcomes polio (and being in his mid-30s) to become one of the most WTF-worthy pop stars in history. If that story doesn’t scream “never give up” I don’t know what does. And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, “Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick” is the greatest song ever written. This is every rare(ish) version of that classic I have, plus some other stuff. Do you want more Ian Dury? Well then click here. Also here. The later link leads to an all Stiff Records post I did a few years ago. The version of “Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll” (retitled with an added “& Chaos” at the end) included there is balls out crazy, ending in a frantic climax that will totally make you want to fuck, do a line of coke and start a band all at the same time.

One more Ian Dury-related note, this for my UK peeps mostly. Anyone know when that movie about him is coming out on DVD, in any region? I have an all-region player so no matter where it comes out first that’s the one I’m buying.

Posted in Ian Dury | 18 Comments »

Beats and Bitching

March 2nd, 2010

It’s amazing how just one dickface can bring down your entire day sometimes. I wake up in the morning and these are the first two comments I see awaiting approval:

“The “hilariously-titled and hard-to-find single edit form” of “Jesus Built My Hotrod” is NOT hard to find”

“Your misguided attempts at patting yourself on the back never fail to amaze and amuse me. “Spasticus Autisticus (version)” is neither “freakishly rare” nor was it “only ever released as the b-side to the single”. It was released on the first “Disco Not Disco” compilation, making it somewhat less rare than you’d like to believe.”

Sometimes little shit can set me off. This is one of those times.

Okay genius. Enlighten me. Where can one easily find the single edit of “Jesus Built My Hotrod?” Because it’s NOT on Psalm 69, it’s NOT on Box and it’s NOT on Rantology. What magical land of fairy dust and easily available singles are you finding it at?

As for the remix of “Spasticus,” you are correct, that is on the Disco Not Disco compilation, which is out of print in the states and in the UK and costs a fortune to buy now. So okay, at one point it was semi-easy to find. But not now. It’s one-time appearance on a now out-of-print compilation that nobody bought doesn’t exactly make it any easier to grab now does it?

Why does this shit piss me off? I don’t know. I don’t like the hate. Why bother with it? I mean, I get nice comments and those are cool and I appreciate them, but dickheads like this, they just get off on shitting in my cornflake and it’s a real downer. Especially since the little weasel wouldn’t even bother with giving a name. “Anonymous” is the signature of whiny cowards who spent too much time in front of the computer, alternating between message board trolling and marathon porn sessions.

If you really don’t like the shit I say or put up then hey, I got an idea, start your own damn MP3 blog where you can always be right and only put up super-ultra-omega rare bullshit. Or maybe you can KINDLY point out when you think I might have made a mistake, then get the benefit of being right but aren’t a jackass. It’s a win win. Of course, you have to be right first. Which in this case you are not.

Or just leave me the hell alone. Goober.

And I will never stop patting myself on the back. For I am truly spectacular.

Sven Väth
Harlequin – The Beauty And The Beast (Underworld Remix)
Harlequin – The Beauty And The Beast (Single Version)
Harlequin – The Beauty And The Beast (F.E.O.S. And The Beast Mix 1)
Harlequin – The Beauty And The Beast (Total Eclipse Mix)
Harlequin – The Beauty And The Beast (Underworld Alternative)
Harlequin – The Beauty And The Beast (C.J. Bolland Mix 2)
Harlequin – The Beauty And The Beast (Club Mix)
Harlequin – The Beauty And The Beast (F.E.O.S And The Beast Mix 2)
Yowza that’s a lot of title. I bought this 2×12” single for the Underworld and CJ Bolland mixes but I do have to say I was a little underwhelmed by the whole thing. I’ve been told that Väth has put out some killer trance in the past so I’ll have to give him another chance. But I’m just not feeling this that much. I’m sure someone will though so this portion of the post is for them.

Two Revolutions
Odyssey – NextGen
Total Science – Fractionz
Indica -Bypass
Alaska & Paradox – Two Thousand
Pariah – Sub Zero
Blame – Sphere (Seba Remix)
Now this is more my speed. These are all from a drum and bass compilation called Two Revolutions. I’m fairly certain that’s out of print but if I’m wrong oh exalted anonymous ones please forgive me. I’m an amateur level basshead, so I don’t want to go on too long about drum and bass lest I make an ass of myself but I’ll say a few things about this record.

Two Revolutions was released by a the excellent dnb label 720 Degrees a few years back on both vinyl and CD. Now the vinyl version I have is only a sampler of sorts and includes just these six tracks. The CD version has a whopping 22, however I’m fairly certain that’s a mix. These versions are complete and unmixed, so it’s a give and take. Less songs, but more of them.

A bit more on 720 Degrees. They’re a bitchin’ label that specializes in “future bound musicality” which I think is code for techstep and neurofunk drum and bass. I’m not going to try and explain those two sub-genres (describing drum and bass is a lot of work and it’s late), but the shorthand is that they’re more “sci-fi” sounding. Techstep also tends to be less abrasive and raw than traditional drum and bass, so it’s a bit easier to digest.

If you like this stuff check out this post which has some more stuff by 720 Degrees founder Blame. I also recommend Wormhole by Ed Rush & Optical. That record is fucking brilliant. I put that one up a while ago but now it’s available for download at Amazon so I took it down. Buy it! It’s only seven bucks. It’s a bit darker and harder than this stuff but still excellent and a great introduction to a unique style of drum and bass. Torque, also by Ed Rush & Optical, is brilliant as well.

Posted in Alaska and Paradox, blame, dnb, Indica, odyssey, Pariah, Sven Vath, Total Science | 15 Comments »

Industrial Brit Bang

February 24th, 2010

I want to eat donuts.

Ministry
Jesus Built My Hotrod (Short, Pusillanimous, So-They-Can-Fit-More-Commercials-On-The-Radio Edit)
TV Song
So maybe someone can help me here. There’s “Jesus Built My Hotrod” (provided here in the hilariously-titled and hard-to-find single edit form) and then there’s “Some Dispute Over T-Shirt Sales” (clip here). So, what’s the deal then? Gibby from the Surfers wrote the lyrics to both I know, but it seems odd that he would just rip himself off so blatantly. Anyone care to fill me in? As for “TV Song”, that’s the original b-side to “Jesus Built My Hotrod” and is the original version of what became “TVII” for Psalm 69.

Blur
Bang (MW Big Bang 12″ Mix)
Bang (MW Groove Mix)
Bang (MW 40 Feet Under Mix)
Bang (MW Hardcore Assault Mix)
She’s So High (MW Ecstasy 12″ Mix)
The folder for this on my computer is called “Blur Bang”, which is only slightly less vulgar-sounding than the file names for these songs (my favorite is “Banghard”). I’m mature I know. What do you want, I’ve been listening to Butthole Surfers songs all damn day. These are from a 12” promo single.

Posted in B-sides, Blur, Gibby Gibby Gibby, Ministry, remixes | 5 Comments »

Behold My Awesome

February 22nd, 2010

I am in a good mood. I don’t know what to make of it. I’m sure it will pass soon enough. April is fast approaching after all. However I will celebrate my new found lack of surliness by posting a variation on my third favorite song of all time, and two decent remixes of a decent tune by a decent band.

Ian Dury & The Seven Sea Players
Spasticus Autisticus (Version)
In case you didn’t know, Spasticus (Autisticus) is one of the greatest songs of all time. It’s definitely the greatest song ever written by a man with polio angry at the patronizing views of the disabled. The song originally appeared on Dury’s 1981 album Lord Upminster, which you can download right here (it’s still out of print in America so I have no qualms in sharing this vinyl rip). This version is not as good as the original, it’s very dub-like and cuts down on the lyrics, which is what made the song so damn good in the first place. However, this version is freakishly rare, and was only ever released as the b-side to the single, which is where I got it. How this UK-only 12” single ended up in Pittsburgh is beyond me. But I’m happy as hell it did.

For more information on the awesomeness of Ian Dury and Spasticus, watch this video. Also, did you know they made a movie about Ian Dury? They did! It stars Gollum! Seriously! Any of my UK readers get to watch it yet? I’m stoked about it. Ian Dury is my hero.

Cibo Matto
Moonchild (D’s Funky Space Reincarnation)
Moonchild (Jazzy Dub #1)
I’m sure there are many interesting things to say about Cibo Matto. I, however, know nothing about them. Instead I will direct you to this video, which was how I was first exposed to them some 16 years ago (Holy shit that was 16 years ago!?!?! I’m old!). Are there remixes of “Know Your Chicken?” I must have them now!!

Posted in Best Song Ever, Cibo Matto, Ian Dury, remixes | 5 Comments »

Acoustic Jane Fonda

February 19th, 2010

Emergency Duran Duran post! Enjoy your weekend!

Duran Duran
Electric Barbarella (The Electric Sex Remix)
Electric Barbarella (The Electric Sex Instrumental Remix)
Electric Barbarella (The Americancruiser Remix)
Electric Barbarella (The Yo Shorty Americancruiser Remix)
A colleague of mine loves Duran Duran but isn’t a fan of this song. Well, his opinion is wrong. This song kicks ass. I’ve never heard any other tracks off of Medazzaland, the album from which Electric Barbarella is from, so I am unable to defend that album’s tarnished image like I have to defend Thank You, a mediocre album that has been unfairly bashed as one of the worst ever. That’s bullshit. Duran Duran’s cover of “White Lines” alone makes that record a two-star album. I’d hate critics so much if I wasn’t one. Anyways, I don’t have much to say about this one, I just really wanted to share it the second I got it. I can’t be the only person that likes this song though, right?

Posted in Duran Duran, remixes | 5 Comments »

Snow and Tape Delayed

February 19th, 2010

Hey look, it’s music from a weird soundtrack! Awesome, right?

Married To The Mob Motion Picture Soundtrack
Married To The Mob was a 1988 film directed by Johnathan Demme, who is probably best known for his 1991 film The Silence of The Lambs. Dude has good musical pedigree though, he directed the Talking Heads’ Stop Making Sense in 1984 and the video New Order’s “The Perfect Kiss”. He also directed Caged Heat, the seminal women in prison film! That’s right, the dude who gave us Philadelphia and Beloved also gave us Caged Heat. God bless you Roger Corman.

This is not the complete soundtrack. I am excluding “Jump In The River” by Sinead O’Connor and “Too Far Gone” by The Feelies as both those tracks are easily available on albums released by both artists. A version of “Bizarre Love Triangle” is also on the soundtrack, but I’m 90 percent sure it’s the 7” version, which if you really want you can get on iTunes (although I don’t see the point, the 12” version is so much better).

Chris Isaak – Suspicion of Love
As far as Chris Isaak songs go this is a pretty good track. I am not a very big fan of the dude.

Debbie Harry – Liar, Liar
The Castaways, a 60s garage rock band, did this song originally, but Debbie Harry’s version kicks ass. It’s very punk, and sounds like she’s channeling the The Ramones with it’s blitzing energy. It blows the original out of the water, although this…spirited performance…by them is pretty impressive.

Ziggy Marley and The Wailers – Time Bums
I’m not a fan of reggae so I will say nothing about this one. Not bad but not my thing.

Tom Tom Club – Devil Does Your Dog Bite?
Ah, Tom Tom Club, are you capable of creating a song that I just like? Either you craft pop masterpieces like Wordy Rappinghood or Genius of Love or songs that grate on my very last nerve like “Man With The Four Way Hips” or this.

Q Lazzarus – Goodbye Horses
Ah yes, Goodbye Horses, one of the most memorable, and rarest tracks of the 80s. I’ve posted this track before, but never this version, which is the shortest available I believe. So if you want your “tuck” mental pictures in and out as quick as possible this is the take for you.

The Voodooist Corporation – Queen of Voudou
Okay, a few questions on this one. Firstly, what language are these guys singing in? Secondly, who are these guys? I can find NOTHING on this group and as far as I can tell this was their only release ever. It’s not a bad song, really rhythm heavy. I have no idea why they decided to spell voodoo “voudou” so any tips on that would help as well. So many questions…

Brian Eno – You Don’t Miss Your Water
And the album closes with another cover, this one was originally a Stax track by William Bell. I’m not familiar with the original version aside from just looking it up on YouTube 10 minutes ago, but I enjoy this version as well, synthpop meets classic soul. Synth-soul. Hey, someone should jump on that shit.

Posted in Brian Eno, Chris Isaak, Debbie Harry, Q Lazzarus, soundtrack, Tom Tom Club, Voodooist Corporation | 6 Comments »

SnoMos

February 12th, 2010

Snow, I’m sick of it. Seriously it’s all like “hey look at me, I’m snow.” Fucker.

Selections from Dogs In Space
No relation to Pigs In Space. Yeah I know, I was bummed too.

Dogs In Space is a 1986 Australian film that I know very little about, what little I know I gleamed from this review. So just read that so I can save myself the time of summarizing the film. It was directed by a dude named Richard Lowenstein, and he was apparently a close friend of Michael Hutchence, as he directed a few INXS videos and cast Hutchence in this film as the lead. This movie is one of three that Michael starred in, the other two being Roger Corman’s 1990 version of Frankenstein and a 1999 flick with the charming title Limp. He’s probably the only cast member who is at all recognizable to American audiences, nearly everyone else in the movie either went on to nothing or Aussie TV.

After reading a bit about the flick I really want to see it, as it’s directly related to two of my biggest interests, new wave music and Australian cinema (watch Not Quite Hollywood by the way, amazing documentary about Ozploitation). It’s not available in the states at the moment, but region-free DVD players are a wonderful thing, so hopefully I’ll get a copy soon.

Dogs In Space has a weird-ass soundtrack, comprised mostly of Australian artists. Tracks by Iggy Pop, Brian Eno and Gang Of Four are also included for some reason, but none of those songs are rare, so I’m not including them here. But for the rest…

Ollie Olson – Win/Lose
Good song, not great, but a solid new wave effort. Continuing the six degrees to Hutchence theme, Olson formed a band with the INXS frontman in 1989 called Max Q, but they only had one release and never really caught on outside of Australia.

The Marching Girls – True Love
Someone likes Phil Spector. Apparently these guys were originally called The Scavengers, and were New Zealand’s answer/rip-off to The Sex Pistols. They broke up and one of them went on to form Dead Can Dance. Wow. That’s…random.

Boys Next Door – Shivers
This song is pretty fucking awesome – which makes sense since Boys Next Door is an early incarnation of The Birthday Party, which was Nick Cave’s first band. This album is on the sole album they released under the Boys Next Door name, but it’s not in print in the states at the moment, so I’m going to let it slide. Besides, “My baby’s so vain that she’s almost a mirror” is the best fucking lyric ever.

Primitive Calculators – Pumping Ugly Muscle
Horrible song title, worse band name, shit song. Random yelling and grunting for five fucking minutes. Enjoy. Someone gave them a hell of a wiki though, so maybe their other stuff is better. This track is just freaking annoying.

Thrush & The Cunts – Diseases
Classy band name. Alright song.

Marie Hoy & Friends – Shivers
This is a cover of the Boys Next Door song that is also on the album. I guess it must play a big part in the movie. Still, it’s a great song and this version is just as good as the original.

Michael Hutchence
Dogs In Space
Golf Course
The Green Dragon
Rooms For The Memory
Now for the main course. Hutchence contributes four tracks to the soundtrack, none of which sound anything like each other, or INXS for that matter. “Dogs In Space” is fast-paced punk rocker that kicks ass, “Golf Course” is a dancey new wave track (which also kicks ass) and “Rooms For The Memory” is a ballad that features Hutchence trying his damnedest to sound like David Bowie and almost succeeding (and kicking ass).

“The Green Dragon” isn’t a song at all, but a bit of dialogue from the film. However, all of these (even the dialogue part) are really freaking good, as if you needed more evidence that the dude was a one-of-a-kind talent that left us far too fucking soon. Sidenote: buy Elegantly Wasted, INXS’ last album with Hutchence. It’s stellar and the title track is absolutely bitchin’.

Posted in michael hutchence, nick cave, soundtrack | 9 Comments »

OMGSNOWTF

February 7th, 2010

Snow everywhere!

I’m drunk!

What? It beats shoveling. Don’t judge me. Besides, I’m not having a good day. Two of my fishies died. I am drinking vodka in their memory. It’s like tapping a 50 but worse for you.

Brian May
Star Fleet
Let Me Out
Blues Breaker
Yes, this is what I do when I am inebriated and mildly depressed, I record, and share, sub-par out-of-print albums by acclaimed guitarists of 70s rock bands. You probably go bars and get laid don’t you? Pfft. Puny humans. I am above such petty things as late-night bar hookups. This album is actually credited to “Brian May and friends.” Who are the friends you ask? Well, the drummer is the drummer is Alan Gratzer of REO Speedwagon, the bassist is Steve Chen, who did session work and the second guitarist is a Eddie Van Halen. Yeah, that’s right. Eddie Van Halen did an album with Brian May. An album that has a title track about a Japanese TV show.

This record is pretty stupid and not altogether very good. Although if you like blues jamming (Hi mom!) then you’ll probably like the second two tracks, and if you like 80s retardation then you’ll probably like the first one. You know what? Now that I’ve had half a bottle of vodka I have to revise my original opinion. This album is sexcellent. That’s right, I said sexcellent. It was a typo at first, but I’m sticking with that spelling.

I have nothing else to say about this album. Actually, I probably do, but typing is getting increasingly more difficult by the minute. Vodka is my friend but he doesn’t want me to type anymore. My fingers are all goofy feeling.

Enjoy.

Posted in Brian May, Complete Albums, vodka | 1 Comment »

I Got The Power! But I can’t find the right adapter.

February 4th, 2010

Okay, this week I actually am busy because of work. Tons of stuff to review, very little time. I also had to interview a musician who was…less than an ideal interview, which created some backlog in my other work.

Good news though! Well, maybe. I might by interviewing Don Letts for ESDmusic. Now, for those of you not in the know, Don Letts was a member of Big Audio Dynamite in the early days, and played on tracks like E=MC2 and “The Bottom Line.” He was also associated with The Clash throughout their career, and directed nearly all of their music videos, the documentary Westway to the World and the early punk rock concert film The Punk Rock Movie. So if anyone has any questions they think I should as Don Letts please tell me in the comments section.

Another brief post this week, I promise to make up for it next time.

Run D.M.C.
It’s Tricky 2003 (Master Mix feat. Jacknife Lee)
It’s Tricky 2003 (JKL Club Mix feat. Jacknife Lee)
Peter Piper 2003 (Riton Remix feat. Riton)
In addition to my interview I got another assignment for y’all. These are from a bootleg white label. I have no idea who did these remixes or what they are called. If anyone can inform me of their name/origin (with some sort of proof to back it up) I would be grateful and hook a brother up. Mystery solved! Thanks for the help everyone!

Snap vs. Motivo
The Power (Of Bhangra) (Extended Bhangra Mix)
The Power (Of Bhangra) (Club Mix)
Yup, it’s an Indian dance remix of The Power. It’s eight times as stupid as it sounds.

Posted in Motivo, remixes, Run DMC, Snap | 3 Comments »

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