Hearts Of Fire was the third movie to feature Bob Dylan in an acting role. The first was the well-known Sam Peckinpah western Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid and the second was a rarely seen four-hour film directed by Dylan called Renaldo And Clara which came out in 1978. Hearts Of Fire came out in 1987 and was not well liked by just about anyone. Critics hated it, audiences avoided it, and Bob Dylan was so upset with it that he didn’t act again until 2003’s Masked And Anonymous (it must have taken him that long to find another movie that would be as hated as Hearts Of Fire). Some people claim that the movie was so bad that it killed the director Richard Marquad – who previously directed Return Of The Jedi and the thriller Jagged Edge. Still wondering how bad the movie is? It was written by Joe “Showgirls” Eszterhas, I think that says it all.

Anyways, in addition to old Bobby D the movie also stars a chick by the name of Fiona (not Apple) and Rupert Everett (yes…that Rupert Everett). I’ve never seen the flick so I can’t say that much about it, but from what I’ve read it’s your typical two guys-one girl story, with the two guys being Bob Dylan and Rupert Everett. With choices like that the girl is better off alone.

The soundtrack to Hearts Of Fire was just as panned as the movie, but in retrospect is worth mentioning because it features three exclusive tracks by Bob Dylan. It also features Rupert Everett “singing” but more on that later.

Fiona
Hearts Of Fire
I’m In It For Love
Hair Of The Dog (That Bit You)
The Nights We Spent On Earth
Let The Good Times Roll
So the producers of Hearts Of Fire somehow con one of the greatest signer/songwriters of all-time to star in their film and when the time came to release the soundtrack they throw him to the side and give this unknown babe center stage. Don’t get me wrong, Fiona has an alright voice and all, but she’s not Dylan. Of course, considering how bad Dylan was throughout most of the 80s that might not be true after all. These are good 80s pop-rock songs, completely harmless and disposable.

Bob Dylan
The Usual
Night After Night
Had A Dream About You, Baby
These are the real gems of the album, not in terms of quality mind you, but in terms of rarity. While an alternate version of “Had A Dream About You, Baby” appeared on Dylan’s 1988 suckstorm of a record Down In The Groove. “The Usual” is a John Hiatt cover and “Night After Night” is a Dylan original that’s never seen the light of day since its inclusion on this soundtrack. Because of these rare Dylan songs this soundtrack goes for quite a bit online, but anyone paying over 20 bucks for these so-so Dylan tracks is crazier than he ever was.

Rupert Everett
Tainted Love
In My Heart
However, sixty bucks is a small price to pay to hear Rupert “Everyone’s favorite gay best friend” Everett try to sing 80s pop songs. “In My Heart” is forgettable crap, what’s really worth listening here is his insanely-awful cover of “Tainted Love.” Everett can’t sing at all. Seriously, it’s really really bad. It would probably be the worst cover of “Tainted Love” if it wasn’t for the fact that everyone from Marylin Manson to The Pussycat Dolls have taken turns butchering it. I’d love to see the context in which this song is presented in the movie. I’m sure it involves Everett trying to woo Fiona away from Dylan in some dark smokey dive bar outside of London or some shit like that.

Anyways, um enjoy? These tracks aren’t the best in the world, but they are interesting so check them out.

I’ll have more rare soundtracks (including one with more rare Dylan – and some that are actually good!!) later this week.

I know I said that I wouldn’t be posting again this week, but I say a lot of things.

I’ve been waiting two years for an excuse to use that as a headline and I finally found an excuse. On a related note, I’ve been waiting two weeks for an excuse to use that awesome picture. It’s not mine and I’d attribute it but I don’t know where it’s from. If you do let me know.

The Decline Of Western Civilization II: The Metal Years
Decline II is one of the greatest movies ever made about rock music, and also one of the most (unintentionally) funny movies you’ll ever see. Originally released in 1988, the film follows the fans and bands that make up the ridiculously stupid Hollywood glam metal scene. Glam rock luminaries such as Poison show up for interviews and other bands contribute some very memorable performances (if you like metal, and if you don’t like metal you can fuck off).

The movie was directed by Penelope Spheeris, who also directed the previously mentioned Dudes, Wayne’s World, and a bunch of very shitty movies. She also did Decline I, which is about the LA punk rock scene of the early 80s -but that’s a whole other topic and since I don’t have the soundtrack for that I’m going to move on.

Both the soundtrack and the film are out of print. I don’t know if the soundtrack ever got a proper CD release, but I know the movie never came out on DVD. I’ve worked in video distribution for most of my life so I know this, don’t message me and tell me I’m wrong (Howard The Duck has never been on DVD in America either, no matter what you see offered on eBay). The webpage for the movies hasn’t been updated in eons, and despite their promise that the DVDs are coming soon I doubt it. I found the soundtrack at my local exchange for seven bucks last week and I nearly shat, it’s been on my holy grail wishlist for a very long time. This one is worthy of track-by-track breakdown.

Alice Cooper with Axl Rose, Slash and Izzy
Under My Wheels
This is an Alice Cooper track that originally appeared on his 1971 album Killer, this version with the dudes from GnR was made specially for this soundtrack. It was later released on Alice Cooper’s four-disc box set as well. Excellent tune.

Faster Pussycat
The Bathroom Wall
Faster Pussycat’s best song, in my opinion (and as you all know, my opinion is right) and not that shit ballad “House Of Pain”. Great riff, great dirty sexy lyrics, just great all around. This is the live version that was in the movie (recorded at The Cathouse…the rock bar, not the whorehouse).

Motorhead
Cradle To The Grave
Lemmy and company don’t perform in the movie, but Lemmy gives a pretty good interview on the hills of LA. Dude totally rocks a Canadian tuxedo too. This track was exclusive to this soundtrack, but has since appeared on a couple Motorhead compilations. Good stuff, typical awesome Motorhead music to get drunk to. Contains the classic line, “Ain’t so bad/coulda been a monkey.” I don’t want to know what Lemmy’s talking about there.

Armored Saint
You Can Run But You Can’t Hide
I don’t remember seeing Armored Saint in Decline, but one of the band’s later members was in Odin – the band who sadly believes they will one day be bigger than Led Zeppelin. Whatever happened to those dudes? This track is also on the band’s compilation “Nod To The Old School”.

Lizzy Borden
Born To Be Wild (Live)
Okay, this cover is pretty damn stupid. It’s featured prominently in the movie though.

Megadeth
In My Darkest Hour
This link is intentionally left blank since this track is easily commercially available on many Megadeth albums and compilations.

Queensryche
The Prophecy
This link is intentionally left blank for the same reasons listed above…and I really fucking hate Queensryche.

Metal Church
The Brave
Don’t know much about these guys, and I don’t think they were prominently featured in the film. I do know that this song is totally fucking metal.

Rigor Mortis
Foaming At The Mouth
This track is on their 1988 debut, and that album is still in-print so this track is easily available. However, I’m still putting it up here because it’s not like you can walk into Best Buy and pick it up. Hypocritical? Probably, but ask me if I give a fuck. If you like thrash I suggest picking up their albums, it’s some heavy shit. They also have the best bio on Allmusic.com.

Brutal thrash played with cruelty; one day they could become the kings of their own world.

That’s the entire bio, I think someone at All Music is a fan.

Seduce
Colleen (Live)
Another one of the lost bands from Decline. Anyone know what happened to these dudes? They were the Detroit refugees who hoped to make it big in LA. Great guitar player, shame about the singer. This is the performance from the movie.