I’m having another industrial music wanna break everything I see kind of day, so stand back. I have some good synthpop I want to put up but I am totally not in the mood to discuss that stuff right now. The industrial marathon will come to a close when the administration at my school stops acting like a bunch of….shit, I swore I’d stop using the c-word.

Revolting Cocks
Beers, Steers & Queers (Drop Your Britches Mix)
Beers, Steers & Queers (Take ‘Em Right Off Mix)
Obviously by c-word I didn’t mean cock.
I miss good Al Jorgenson. I reviewed Cover Up (Ministry’s covers compilation) recently and it was a sad state of affairs. The whole thing wasn’t bad, but the truth of the matter was that the best tracks on the CD were over 10 years old, and the new stuff paled in comparison. I guess the moral is that you should just say no to heroin or you’ll be a washed-up nutjob shadow of your former self. These are from the 12” single of the immortal song.

Front Line Assembly
Digital Tension Dementia (Extended Version)
Vexation
No Limit (Damaged Good Remix)
Lethal Compound (Harmful If Swallowed Mix)
I’m not the only one who confuses these guys with Front 242 right? The fact that they are both pioneering electronic groups makes it double frustrating/confusing. Oh well, at least I can pronounce their name, which is more than I can say for fellow industrial frontrunners Einstürzende Neubauten. These tracks are from the 12” single to Digital Tension Dilemma.

Clan Of Xymox
A Day (Remix)
Stranger (Remix)
Speaking of bands I can’t pronounce…So according to Wikipedia these guys aren’t industrial but “darkwave.” As a name for a genre, that’s the third stupidest I ever heard, right behind Nu-Rave and Trip-Hop (I’m never gonna get that one). Whatever they’re called this remix of “A Day” is currently in my “smashy smashy” playlist. Both are from the 12” single.

Armageddon Dildos
Every Day Is Like Sunday (Guitar Days Mix)
Every Day Is Like Sunday (Freundschaft Version)
Every Day Is Like Sunday (Come Zhirinovsky Mix – Original Recipe)
Every Day Is Like Sunday (Orwell Was 10 Years Off Tech-Know)
Every Day Is Like Sunday (The Longer Version That They Forgot To Close Down)
Holy shit that’s that best band name ever. Not only is it crass, stupid and vulgar, it actually means something (cold-war slang for ICBMs)! They should totally go on tour with Steely Dan (that’s right kids, your dad’s favorite band is named after a sex toy). These remixes are radically different from each other and are practically different songs. Some of them even feature completely re-recorded vocals. They all feature brilliantly retarded remix titles too.

I just noticed I started this post with cock and ended it with a dildo reference. That was surprisingly not planned.

I’ve previously gushed about my love for Moog lounge music before, and the fact that this rather peculiar genre doesn’t get more respect confounds me. While there are Moog albums that are nothing more than quickly hobbled-together cover tunes of modern favorites, there are some that are genuinely interesting and well-made. Even some of the covers albums are good when taken for what they are. Here are three complete albums, all out-of-print, all fine examples of classic Moog and synthesizer-driven music. They certainly don’t make them like this anymore (and don’t point me to The Moog Cookbook to prove me wrong, it’s just not the same).

For those of you who don’t like this stuff, I’ll have some remixes of 80s tunes later this week, so calm down.

Stardrive – s/t
This. Album. Is. Fucking. Amazing.
This is the full text from the back of the record sleeve:

Stardrive is a ridiculously unique rock band put together by an equally spacey musician-inventor to combat the dullness found in synthesized music. After years of living with electronic music, Robert Mason decided it was time to do something different with a synthesizer. As it was, the existing machines could play a lot of notes and make very bizarre sounds but they couldn’t function as keyboard instruments. They couldn’t play chords. They could maneuver, They couldn’t be…FUNKY.

Experimenting with all the existing models of machinery and finding them of no use to his musical aim, Mason decided to build his own synthesizer. Two years and countless short circuits later, we have Stardrive…the first rock band on earth to feature a synthesizer as LEAD instrument. No tedious blooze guitar. No lisping vocalists. Just Mason and his extra-special, extra-terrestrial machine, zipping through fuckafide space like greased lightning. Taking you to a rock realm where the only glitter you can see is in the stars. Beyond musical cliches. Beyond space. Twilight Zone, anyone?

Those are some ambitious linear notes. According to the little information I found out about these guys on the net, Mason’s synthesizer was the very first one that could be played like a keyboard. If that’s true than holy shit that’s very impressive. It’s almost as impressive as the technicolor pirate shirt the dude is sporting on the back cover (I got to buy a scanner!)

As implied by those totally modest linear notes, Stardrive called itself a funk band. For the most part that label works, especially on the opening track “Funkascensions” and on the closing “Journey.” All those tunes are missing is some Bootsy Collins. If you thought the early electronic albums I posted in the past were kind of silly and just barely music, then you should check this one out. It’s very music 70s instrumental funk…with an insane synthesizer thrown in. This is a lost gem just waiting to be rediscovered (and sampled the funk out of).

Dick Hyman
Moog: The Eclectic Electrics Of Dick Hyman
The Age Of Electronicus
Dick Hyman (aside from having one of the most unfortunate names in history) is most well-known as an incredible jazz pianist who can play in a variety of styles. In the 60s however, the dude became enthralled with the Moog and in 1969 released Moog: The Eclectic Electrics of Dick Hyman. It was one of the first (to my knowledge) Moog albums to be comprised mostly of original compositions. Most before it were collections of classical music done Moog style (see Wendy Carlos’ excellent “Switched On” series for examples of those). Electric Electric was re-issued on CD sometime ago and has since gone out of print again. It is a crown example of “lounge” music and a must-listen for fans of electronic music. And if you’re listening to it and occasionally find yourself thinking, ‘I know I head that before’, that’s because Beck sampled it. This is one of the very first records I ever recorded to my computer, so don’t bitch to me if it has problems because I was still learning then and working with a shit turntable.

The Age Of Electronicus came out the same year as Eclectic Electrics but it’s not nearly as diverse or entertaining as that groundbreaking album. It consists entirely of covers, including two Beatles remakes (Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da, and Blackbird). Hyman’s takes on some of the songs are great though, especially the instrumental classic “Green Onions” and the James Brown tune “Give It Up Or Turn It Loose”. The latter of those two was actually put on the CD re-release of Eclectic Electric. It’s a fun record.

No more reposts. I was going to put up some of my favorite tracks/albums but I decided against it because…well…I just don’t wanna. If you really want to know what I recommend the most out of everything I’ve ever put on this site the click here.

Oh, and to this dude:

are you ripping some of these from vinyl?

Gee, what would make you think that the tracks on The Lost TURNTABLE were vinyl rips?

Sigh.

You are all lucky this retard asked that AFTER someone asked for The Howard The Duck soundtrack (therefore restoring my faith in humanity) or I might of taken all your repost requests and re-shoved them up your re-ass.

For the rest of you, I present the greatest four tracks ever posted on The Lost Turntable (and yes, they’re vinyl rips).

Rick Astley
Never Gonna Give You Up (Cake Mix)
Never Gonna Give You Up (Escape To New York Mix)
Never Gonna Give You Up (Escape From Newton Mix)
Never Gonna Give You Up (Instrumental)
I’ve been watching this wave of stupidity gather speed for some time and now that it’s reaching tsunami levels I think it’s time for me to jump on with these awesome remixes of the stupid song that is sweeping the internets and causing massive lulz.

Hey Anonymous, mix it up (literally) and use these mixes for your next Scientology protest!

That’s all for tonight, and this week’s going to be light on new content because of the suckage of school. More this weekend.

Here’s the final purge of single-track reposts. If you’re request isn’t here then you most likely are not getting it unless I already planned on reposting it on my big “you should have asked for these songs” post. If you made a request and it’s not here it’s because you touch yourself at night. More tomorrow…or something, April is in full effect for me already.

ABC – Poison Arrow (Trevor Horn Remix)
Fear – Hoochie Coochie Man
Husker Du – Helter Skelter (Live)
Korn – Here To Stay Mindless Self Indulgence Remix)
Peter Gabriel – In Your Eyes (Special Mix)
Cornershop – Brimful Of Asha (Mucho Macho Bolan Boogie Mix)
Dandy Warhols – Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth (Rock Snobs Open Road)
Luscious Jackson – Naked Eye (Muscle Shock Remix)

Thomas Dolby
Windpower (High Power Extended Play)
Flying North (High Altitude Extended Play)

The Other Two
Tasty Fish (Pascal Mix 12”)
Tasty Fish (O.T. Mix)

My brother just called me to ask how to spell “Chinese”.

He’s 32 years old.

Fuck-a-doodle-doo I need more alcohol.

Anyways….so this is how it’s going down for the rest of the week:

Tonight is the last night of reposts that will also feature new tracks. Tomorrow (or whenever I post next) will be the clearing house of reposts that are just tracks I’ve already posted, with no extra bonus tracks (usually because I have nothing else to post from said artists). After that I’ll be posting a few complete albums that people have requested (the gall of them!) and then I’ll be closing off my massive lovefest with a selection of tracks/albums that I want reposted because I have better taste than all of you.

Bjork
Joga (Alec Empire State Of Emergency Mix)
Human Behaviour (The Underworld Remix)
There’s More To Life Than This (Non Toilet Mix)
Venus As A Boy (Anglo American Extension)
The first one of these is a repost, the rest are new and were taken off of a single for “Venus As A Boy.” The “Joga” mix is one of my all-time favorite remixes, combining two great things that taste great together – Bjork’s amazing voice and Alec Empire’s tendency to surround everything with loud abrasive noise. Side note: “Non Toilet Mix” is the worst name for a mix ever.

Danny Elfman
Gratitude (Tornado Version)
Gratitude (Extended Version)
Oingo Boingo
Not My Slave (Extended Mix)
Stay (Stay Late Mix)
Dead Man’s Party (Party ‘Till You’re Dead Mix)
Danny Elfman’s tracks are old, the Oingo Boingo stuff is not. I thought I posted that remix of “Not My Slave” ages ago but I cannot find it anywhere so here it is for the first time I guess. I have more Oingo Boingo to Post(o) so look for that sometime in the future.

Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Two Tribes (Annihilation Mix)
Rage Hard (Extended Version)
Sufferragette City (Suffer In The City)
(Don’t Lose What’s Left) Of Your Little Mind
Two Tribes is a repost, everything else is brand spankin’ new. The other tracks all come from the 12” single to “Rage Hard” which was a single off of Frankie’s rarely-bought sophomore album Liverpool. Their cover of “Suffragette City” (with the funky spelling) is totally sweet and everyone should download it. The other stuff is good but pales in comparison.

Sex Pistols -God Save The Queen (Dance Mix)
John Lydon – The Rabbit Song
Public Image Ltd. – Death Disco (12” Remix)
The only one of these that’s new is the PiL track, which I grabbed off of the Plastic Box compilation. The Rabbit Song, for those of you who may not know, is the newest song released by John Lydon, and was included on his UK-only greatest hits compilation. It’s a great return to that classic PiL sound and I hope he takes enough of a break from whoring himself out to finish the album it’s supposed to appear on.

Anyone else notice that when I changed servers I accidentally forgot to move my nifty logo? For three or four days this site went all Cameron Crowe Director’s Cut on your ass and was Untitled.

Before I get going with all the happy reposts, I’m going to tell everyone which songs I will for sure not be reposting (with the reasons why)

Public Image Ltd. – Disappointed (Radio Edit)
This is just a shorter version of the album track, I stopped posting radio edits after I figured this out. If you really want a shorter version of this song just stop playing the album version about four minutes in. There, I just saved myself and you some time.

M – Pop Music (Long Version)
It’s really just the album version. The 12” was mislabeled.

Straight To Hell Soundtrack & Two Minds Crack
I NEVER POSTED THESE IN THE FIRST PLACE! Sigh. Strangely enough the Straight To hell soundtrack is in my recording queue so I might get to it someday. Not strangely enough I have never heard of Two Minds Crack and I wonder what crack said person was smoking when they asked me to put it back up here.

Many White Stripes B-sides
That was a big post, and I don’t want to deal with all that jazz again. I’ll put up the highlights in a couple days though.

Also remember that I cannot get to you all and if I miss your request it’s not a slight against your musical tastes (okay, well it might be) and I probably just didn’t have the time to get to it.

On a politer note, I appreciate that most of you followed my uptight ass and went by the rules with your requests and did it in the comment field. A couple people emailed me instead (you know who you are) but lucky for you I was planning on reposting those tracks anyway.

I plan on doing this all week and each time I’ll be sprinkling in a few new tracks with the reposts so pay attention!

Talk Talk
Why Is It So Hard? (12” U.S. Remix Extended Version)
Talk Talk (12” Mix Extended Version)
My Foolish Friend (12” Mix Extended Version)
It’s My Life (12” Remix Extended Version)
Dum Dum Girl (12” Remix Extended Version)
Such A Shame (12” U.S. Remix Extended Version)
Living In Another World (Curious World Dub Mix)
Talk Talk (Remix)
Living In Another World (Mendelsohn Remix)
Living In Another World (Live)
Between the comment field in the original post, my call for requests and several unsolicited emails, I’ve gathered that some of you want these tracks back up here. The first six tracks are from the requested It’s My Mix EP. The last four have never been posted here before and are from the single to “Living In Another World.” I have some more Talk Talk that I’ll be posting later, but it might not be for a while so don’t wait up.

The Sugarcubes
Fucking In Rhythm & Sorrow (Live)
Birthday (Christmas Eve/Day Remix)
Birthday (Christmas Present Remix)
Petrol (Live)
Leash Called Love (12” Single)
So according to everything I’ve read the “Christmas Eve” and “Christmas Day” remixes of this song are two separate recordings. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how/if both of them were on this single I got though, so that’s why it’s labeled as it is. Sorry for the confusion – maybe something was lost in the Icelandic-to-English conversion. I blame Einar. “Fucking In Rhythm & Sorrow” is a repost, the rest are new.

Fleetwood Mac
Landslide (Remix)
Landslide (String Mix)
Landslide (Analog Mix)
Big Love (Extended Remix)
To the dude that asked for these: Your girlfriend wants to hear these? You know these really suck right? Seriously, these remixes are probably the stupidest tracks I’ve ever posted (excluding anything that has a Moog or is by Meco). I hope she doesn’t leave you. I’m also including an equally WTF remix of “Big Love” – you two deserve it.

My host’s server is down. They’re working on it. Until then no link worky.