Quick business/self-promotion to take care of. New reviews (by me) time:

Monkey – Gorillaz do Chinese opera! Better writers than me have told me this is the best review I’ve ever written. I don’t know how that’s possible, since I don’t threaten to assault a record executive or compare emo to the holocaust, but whatever.

Hybrid: Soundsystem 01 – Great trance mix. Reviewing trance is a bitch though, since it’s nearly impossible to describe what makes “good trance” good and “bad trance” bad.

Moving on, I found something so amazing today that I had to bare with the USB recording software and Audacity’s shit editing to record it and share it with all you fine people. This will be the last post for the week, so enjoy.

Exotic Birds – L’oiseau (1986 EP)
Exotic Birds were a Cleveland-based synthpop band that are of little note, except for the fact that one of their keyboardists was Trent Reznor. Don’t download this expecting some early, pre-Pretty Hate Machine, NIN-sounding shit though. This is VERY synthpoppy, and Reznor had nothing to do with any of it. He has no songwriting credit and although he’s credited as a backup singer his recognizable howling voice is nowhere to be found. Much like how NIN is Trent Reznor, Exotic Birds were Andrew Kubiszewski, the lead singer/guitarist/percussionist/programmer/xylophone player. They’re not a bad band, but they are very much a product of their time. If you like The Thompson Twins or Flock Of Seagulls you’ll probably dig on this. L’oiseau was the group’s second release, but the only one that Trent Reznor is on. I’m sure the fact that they continued on without him is what sent him into a rage-filled depression that we all hear so clearly on classic NIN tracks like “Burn” and “Head Like A Hole.”

The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame announced this year’s nominees yesterday. There are some noteworthy bands up for it this year, and hopefully the ones that really deserve it (Run DMC, IGGY FUCKING POP) will get in. But even if they do the Rock Hall has a lot of ground to make up in order to become remotely respectable again. Don’t forget, these asshole let The Bee Gees and The Eagles in. Those two bands probably did more to destroy rock and roll than any other band in recent memory. Sure, there are plenty of great bands in the rock hall that deserve to be there, but there are dozens of bands that are not, and even more great acts deserving of the recognition have been snubbed.

Here are some of the more notable exclusions, in alphabetical order:

ABBA
B-52s
Bad Brains
Beastie Boys
Buzzcocks
The Cars
The Cure
Dead Kennedys
Depeche Mode
Devo
Journey
Joy Division
Kraftwerk
Ministry
Motorhead
New Order
New York Dolls
The Replacements
Roxy Music
Rush
Stevie Ray Vaughn
Slayer
Sonic Youth
The Smiths
XTC

Okay, if you can prove to me that The Bee Gees did more for rock music than any these bands then congratulations, you are the greatest debater of all time.

David Bowie
Real Cool World (Radio Remix)
Real Cool World (Cool Dub Thing #1)
Real Cool World (12″ Club Mix)
Real Cool World (Cool Dub Overture)
Real Cool World (Cool Dub Thing #2)
I think I’ve made it abundantly clear that I enjoy stupid shit, especially when it comes to movies. I mean, I own Tank Girl (on LaserDisc!) so my film critic validity is pretty strained. That being said, even I think Cool World is a shit movie. It definitely Ralph Bashki’s worst movie (and that’s saying something) although it’s not his fault. Rumor has it that the script was changed without his permission and that he didn’t know about it until shooting began. I’m willing to believe him since it’s far less fucked up than his other films, even with the cartoon/human boning scene. However, the soundtrack is actually totally bitching. It has Moby (way before it was cool to have Moby in a soundtrack) Ministry, Brian Eno, Electronic and even a mix of Sex On Wheelz by My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult. It also has this surprisingly good song by David Bowie, who was just finally starting to dig himself out of his 80s creative nadir. These versions of that track came from a CD single I bought from a video store that no longer exists.

Love Chid Orchestra
Whole Lotta Love
Experiment 4
Bump And Grind
Anyone know anything about these guys? I bought this 12” single because of the sublimely odd cover of “Whole Lotta Love” and while the other two tracks aren’t great – I’ve heard far worse. According the back cover this was produced by “P. Gabriel” but I really doubt it’s Peter. This came out in 1989 and that year he was too busy being totally awesome and playing with stop-motion chickens. How do I know these guys are obscure? As of this writing they have nine plays on Last.fm, and they’re all by me.

Black Sabbath (Heaven And Hell)
The Devil Cried
Shadow Of The Wind
Ear In The Wall
That’s right bitches. I AM fucking metal. Last month I saw Heaven And Hell live and was struck awe by the power of the Dio. Since then I’ve given their back cataloge a second chance and I have to say that I’ve been pleasantly surprised. As a kid I didn’t like post-Ozzy Sabbath because of the lack of Ozzyness, but listening to them now I have to admit that they are all pretty damn good records (even Dehumanizer). A few weeks ago Rhino released The Rules Of Hell, a box set claiming to have all of Heaven And Hell’s released material. Great in theory, but they are lying to you. The Rules Of Hell does not have these three new tracks that were included on The Dio Years compilation. Download these, buy the box set and Dio your brains out.

Hurray for my commentors making my job much easier! Almost all of tonight selections were given to me by you very awesome people who have graced my very awesome blog with your very awesome presence. If any of you want to get hooked up with something, email me. This only applies to anyone who has sent me something, and you have to prove that you’re you. I ain’t hooking up everyone. I don’t want to tear down my carefully constructed prick persona.

Billy Idol
Heroin (A Drug Called Horse Mix)
Heroin (Ionizer mix)
Not a single one of you rat bastards commented on the remixes I posted. Not even the two of you who asked so politely for them. You all are on my shitlist. That being said, here are even more remixes of the perpetually underrated cover of the Velvet Underground classic thanks to my Dutch friend Fred. I don’t know where they came from originally though.

DJ Z-Trip and Murs
Fat Bottom Remix
Rock You/Hard Work
Kiss Remix (Prince And The Revolution Will Not Be Televised)
Okay these are really stupid, even compared to other mash-ups, they’re totally retarded. However, they also totally rock. Mad props to Dave The Ox. These are all from the same bootleg promo single.

Toadies
Cars
The Toadies are one of my favorite bands from the 90s. Gary Numan is one of my favorite artists from the 80s. Combine them for massive amounts of win. Thomas is my new hero. However, he didn’t tell me where this track originally came from, anyone got info?

But, wait I have more Toadies covers! And this is shit from my own collection. I’m done living off the scraps of others.

Auf Wiedersehen
Ghoulies Get Together
Auf Wiedersehen is a cover of an awesomely intense, almost punk rock, Cheap Trick song. It’s one of my favorite songs by the group. Source: Unknown. I do know where Ghoulies Get Together is from though. It’s the track that the Toadies contributed to the most excellent Saturday Morning Cartoons’ Greatest Hits, which also included The Ramones version of the Spider-man theme and The Butthole Surfers rocking Underdog. Pick that baby up if you can, it’s amazing.

I bought Rock Band 2 over the weekend. Get it. It’s awesome. If you haven’t checked out the setlist for it, let me tell you, it’s amazing. I expected to see classics like “Anyway You Want It” and “Aqualung” but there are some inclusions that are just totally awesome. “Painkiller” bitches! Heaviest song ever and a blast to play, even if I can’t sing it for shit. I was also stoked to see “Rebel Girl” in there. Hopefully some 12 year old girl will hear it when trying to unlock Paramore and it’ll blow her fucking mind.

Some artists surprised me too. I usually hate hate hate hate Panic At The Disco, but “Five In The Afternoon” is actually a great pop song. I’ve been comparing them to Tokio Hotel – I owe them an apology. I also was shocked to find that I kind of like “Gave It All” by Rise Against.

However, there is one caveat. One thing that holds back the game from being absolutely perfect.

“Visions” by Abnormality.

What the fuck is this bullshit? Seriously, Harmonix, I’m literally talking to you. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT. This is not music, it’s a bunch of retarded twats screaming and poudning on their instruments. I would skip it if I could, but if I want to beat the “Guitar Legend” setlist I have to play it. It’s fucking impossible, and the only reason it is impossible is because it just randon notes spewed out like puke across the screen. Putting it next to “Painkiller” and Dream Theatre’s “Panic Attack” is an insult to heavy metal fans the world over. Yeah, so it’s hard, so what, that doesn’t make it worthy to be next to those classic songs, let alone ABOVE them.

The only thing harder than playing it on guitar is playing it on drums, and that’s only because the drums are complete and total shit. Seriously. Is that supposed to be a snare? Really? Fuck that. That’s not a fucking snare, it sounds like a pencil hitting a tin can. Why should I play this on drums, their fucking drummer sure as hell can’t? Of course their singer can’t sing either (and their singer is a woman by the way…wow).

So in conclusion: Fuck “Visions” and fuck Abnormality. Fuck them hard. Repeatedly. And if you want to hear good death metal with a female lead singer check out Arch Enemy.

Note: I’m not really THAT mad about this song, but after failing it for half an hour I had to vent to someone and you guys lost. Although I do honestly think that Abnormality is a god awful band that has no reason to exist on this damn planet.

Billy Idol
Heroin (Needle Park Mix)
Heroin (Nosebleed Mix)
Heroin (Overlords Mix)
Heroin (V.R. Heroin Mix)
I’m breaking my “no reposts” rule for these. I hope you’re all happy. Actually, I only posted two of these before and that was two years ago (almost to the day, eerie) and since no one read my blog then I guess it’s only fair. I have yet to meet anyone else who actually likes these tracks, so if you do enjoy them please let me know. I think they are vastly underrated.

Blondie
Rapture (K-Klassic Mix)
Rapture (Original Disco Mix)
Rapture (Guru’s Fly Party Mix)
Now why isn’t this song in Rock Band? That game needs more Blondie. These remixes are taken from a 12” single that was released in 1994. I don’t know anything else about it. The “Original Disco Mix” is not the original mix of the song, however.

Man, just when I was putting forth a concentrated effort to cheer myself up fucking Richard Wright dies. Pink Floyd got me through a musical dark patch in my life years ago. After grunge died out but before I discovered indie rock I was pretty much a classic rock/heavy metal fan exclusively (although I was oddly into Big Beat Techno as well) and Pink Floyd was my favorite band for a good five years. I own every Pink Floyd album (except The Final Cut – I hate that one) a few of their box sets/compilations and more bootlegs and rarities than you can shake a giant inflatable pig at. Wish You Were Here helped get me through my sophomore year in college, and without Animals I would have killed one of my bosses multiple times over. So, yeah, I’m bummed.

I implore everyone to check out Richard Wright’s Wet Dreams (…wait that sounds wrong), it’s a great album that has gone unnoticed for years and if there’s any good that may come from this unfortunate event it’s that this album might finally get re-released on CD. Until then I have a good-but-not-great vinyl rip here.

David Gilmour
On An Island (Live)
Take A Breath (Live)
This Heaven (Live)
In the epic Waters/Gilmour battle I’ve always been on the side of David Gilmour. Sure, he may not be as talented a lyricist as Waters, but he’s 20 times the musician that Waters could ever hope to be on his best day. I’d rather listen to About Face 50 times than Amused To Death once. On An Island was his best solo album to date, and if you haven’t picked up the live DVD of it I highly suggest doing so. He’s also releasing a live album in a few weeks, which I’ll probably be picking up (I’ll probably be getting the ultra-neato-nifty-keen limited vinyl edition which includes an entire LP of bonus tracks that won’t be on CD). These live tracks are from a sampler that I grabbed at a record convention months ago. Although I don’t have the physical copy with me to check, I’m fairly certain that Wright is performing on these tracks with Gilmour, since he was on the tour with Gilmour.

Oh, and I interviewed Gilmour over the phone once, you can read it here. Highlight of my writing career, even if the school paper never published it (but that’s an entirely different rant).

Pink Floyd
Interstellar Overdrive (Tonight Let’s All Make Love In London version)
The end all be all of psychedelic jams. I have about 80 bagillion versions of this tune and this one is the best. It’s taken from the “London 66′ 67′” single (actually mine is from a bootleg compilation, but it’s the same veresion) and this version originally appeared in the movie Tonight Lets All Make Love In London. Anyone ever actually seen that movie?

I actually was able to hook up my turntable to my laptop without it sounding like complete ass, so I might actually record some shit this week. Does anyone know how good Audacity is when it comes to recording/audio clean-up?

With my computer dying and other crap I’ve had a really shit week and while that usually means industrial music for all of you I’m going to mix it up a bit and try to stay positive (I know! I’m shocked too!) with some songs that cheer my hate-filled ass up. Incidentally, The song that actually cheers me up the most is “Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen, but that’s neither here nor there since that’s not exactly a “lost” track. If anyone has an obscure live version of that tune or a cover of it by a band that actually matters let me know.

Carbon/Silicon
The News
Late News
This is one of the few songs/things that actually makes me hopeful for the future. Big surprise to everyone reading this blog, I’m kind of a negative fellow and I don’t have much hope for this whole “human race” thing. But if Mick Jones, the guitar player for one of the angriest punk bands of all time, and Tony James, the frontman to one of the most outrageously cynical groups of all time (Sigue Sigue Sputnik) can even joke about the human race one day getting its shit together then maybe there’s hope even for a nihilist prick like me. This version of “The News” is over six minutes long is different than the album version. “Late News” is a dub remix. I found both online somewhere I believe. I know they didn’t come from a 12”.

Feist
Mushaboom (Red Demo Version)
Feist or Regina Spektor? (Or Imogen Heap?) The immortal debate. This demo version was taken from a CD that came with The Believer.

Ron Grainer (Composer)
Doctor Who Theme (1986 Version)
Original Doctor Who Theme
Doctor Who (Cosmic Remix)
I’m not the world’s biggest Doctor Who fan, although I did occasionally watch the show when I was a kid. However, I love the theme song. It’s one of the first electronic recordings of note, and definitely the first electronic theme song to any TV show. It’s gone through a shitload of revisions over the years and two of them are included above. The one from 86 is great, but it can’t hold a candle to the original, which is still one of the greatest electronic compositions of all-time. The “Cosmic Remix” is alright, but it goes on for far too long and has too many random effects thrown in for no real reason. Don’t muck with the classics. I grabbed these from a 12” single that had a holographic cover! It’s nifty.

My computer finally bit the big one today. It was the end of a long illness and its death should be celebrated as an end the suffering its endured for the past few years. Also, all my important stuff was backed up on an external hard drive, so it’s not the complete end of the world.

However, it does pose a problem since the laptop I am currently working on has no audio outputs for me to hook up my external soundcard, therefore making it impossible for me to currently record albums from my turntable. I could use the USB cable, but my limited experience with that is shit and I won’t subject my loyal fanbase to any more substandard recordings than I already have.

I should have enough stuff in my queue to sustain myself until I get a new computer and can resume the ripping. However as the well dries up things might get a little odd and obscure (even for me) so bare with me for the next few weeks.

Basement Jaxx
Daluma
Jus Becuz
Slide Slide
Fly Life (“Brix” Mix)
Fly Life (Erick “More” Dub)
Fly Life (Roni Size “Flyzs” Mix)
I almost labeled these as Chemical Brothers tracks, that’s how discombobulated this whole computer situation has made me. Luckily I caught the grievous error in time. The first three of these tracks is from the creatively-titled EP 3, which also included the track “Fly Life.” I’m not including that track because it is easily available on the band’s singles collection. But speaking of “Fly Life” I also had the 12” single to that, which was released when the previously mentioned singles collection came out and that’s where those remixes originated.

Dust Brothers – The Fight Club Remixes
This Is Your Life
What Is Fight Club? (Wally Gagel Remix)
Finding The Bomb (CMG Remix)
Chemical Burn (Headshop Remix)
Who Is Tyler Durden? (Dust Remix)
Homework (Fitz Remix)
I totally forgot I had this. I found it when I was rebuilding my iTunes playlists. So I guess something good came out of the whole crash-and-burn computer thing. I’m fairly certain these remixes were never released on CD and were only available on a 12” that I picked up God knows when.

I get much love from the comments:

“There MIGHT be another post in a few hours. Don’t get your hopes up too much though.” FUCK. Do you really think that anyone cares about what you have to say? the only reason anyone goes to your blog is to download music for free.

How does one respond to such insightful criticism? List my site statistics that show my rapidly growing fanbase? Reprint letters and comments by people who thank me for my educational comments on audio recording, obscure music and vinyl collecting? Mention that this blog is linked by several high-profile music sites? What’s the point? Those are all intelligent and well-thought out repsosnes to a blind and poorly written nonsensical rant. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from this current presidential election is that you can’t fight bullshit with rational thinking. I think the best thing I can do is ignore him since I refuse to sink to his level.

Besides, he’s just a little bitch. I should know, his mom told me last night (at least I think that’s what she said, her mouth was full).

Madonna
Music (RHV Funkytown Club)
Music (RHV Funkytown Dub)
This is one of my weirder finds as of late. Occasionally Jerry will pick up a ton of records from a DJ. Sometimes they include a few oddball unmarked white-labels. I’ve found some excellent stuff this way, the highlight still being the unreleased remixes of Billy Idol’s cover of “Heroin” (much better than it sounds, trust me). More recently I unearthed these fairly good mixes of my favorite Madonna tune. The 12” doesn’t have any information on it other than a scribble of a DJ name I can’t make out, followed by “Madonna – Music” and a smiley face. The only reason I know the name of the remixes is because they’re etched into the groove.

!!! (Chk Chk Chk)
Take Ecstasy With Me
Get Up
I have mixed feelings about this band, from their annoying name to their occasionally repetive and mind-numbing style. However, their decision to release an EP with a Magnetic Fields cover as the A-side and a Nate Dogg cover as the B-side is brilliant in ways I can only hope to one day achieve.

Crystal Method
You Know It’s Hard (Boris & Beck Sinister Vocal Mix)
You Know It’s Hard (Boris & Beck Sinister Dub)
You Know It’s Hard (Koma & Bones Gaping Axe Wound Remix)
The title to this song always makes me giggle. Oh please, like it surprises you that I’m that immature. These are from a 12” single.

There MIGHT be another post in a few hours. Don’t get your hopes up too much though.

New music review roundup:

Motorhead: Motorizer – Fucking metal!!
DragonForce: Ultra Beatdown – Fucking power metal!!
Toadies: No Deliverance – Fucking…I dunno..um, it’s really good!!

And although I’m not reviewing it I do have to say that the new Metallica album is surprisingly not entirely awful. Yeah, I’m shocked too.

Jean Michel Jarre
Oxygene (Dado Ethnic Remix)
Oxygene (Hani’s Oxygene 303)
Oxygene (Sunday Club Remix)
Oxygene (Takkyu Ishino Remix)

RJD2
Exotic Talk (Alternate Version)
Get Off My Spaceship Bitch
The Move
Get Off My Spaceship Bitch might be the best b-side title in the history of all things. These are from a clear vinyl single of “Exotic Talk.” “The Move” is kind of scratchy but I can’t tell if it’s supposed to be that way.

Simian Mobile Disco
Hustler (Extended Club Remix)
Hustler (Armand Van Helden Remix)
I liked these guys first album but damn are they overrated. I had a whole rant about rock critics giving bias to rock artists who experiment with electronic music, but I’m far too annoyed and tired right now. Instead just enjoy these remixes.

First some business must be attended to. I am tired of getting variations of the following comment:

“Dude, where are the songs?”

Okay, now I want you to look at the top left corner of the sidebar. See the part that says “songs are only available for a limited time”? Good. Now piss off I got shit to do.

Moving on. A few days ago a commenter asked if I could tape my “record hunts/digs” to show what I go through to find all these bitchin’ LPs. I appreciate the idea and I’m flattered that anyone would care enough about my shitty little site to care that much, but that’s a really bad idea. I’m sure many of you assume that I go on these epic adventures for Pet Shop Boys 12” singles that involve Indiana Jones-like quests into dark caverns of crates that few humans have ever laid eyes on. Sorry, that’s not the case.

Let me go over for you all a typical record-finding journey.

• Step 1: Get out bed.
• Step 2: Leave house
• Step 3: Walk (or drive if I’m feeling lazy) the three or so blocks to Jerry’s Records.
• Step 4: Ask Jerry “what’s new.”
• Step 5: Buy the response.

That’s really about it. No bullshit, 99 percent of the albums I feature on this blog I picked up from Jerry’s Records. I’ll occasionally pick up an album from 720 Records or another local record store but that’s about it when it comes to my local record buying. When I’m in other cities I check out their record stores but Jerry’s is so amazingly amazing (and fucking cheap) that I usually don’t have to (expection: Culture Clash). Sorry to demystify it for you.

Pet Shop Boys
Go West (Mings Gone West First And Second Movement)
Go West (Farley & Heller Disco Mix)
Go West (Farley & Heller Fire Island Mix)
Go West (Kevin Saunderson Tribe Mix)
Go West (Kevin Saunderson Trance Mix)
In an act of solidarity with my fabulous brethern, I am protesting the Republican National Convention (AKA the racist sexist homophobic xenophobe douchebag idiot asshole gathering) by posting the gayest thing I could find; The Pet Shop Boys covering The Village People. These are from a CD single.

Pete Shelley
Homosapien (Special Mix)
Yesterday’s Not Here (Special Mix)
Witness The Change/I Don’t Know What It Is (Extended Combo Version)
Strike that, “Homosapien” is the gayest thing I could find. It’s a sad day when The Pet Shop Boys are out-gayed on my blog. Pete Shelley isn’t gay, he’s bi, but that didn’t stop him from writing one of the most non-subtle songs about doing it with a dude ever (“homo superior/in my interior” – I don’t think he’s talking about the X-Men hanging out in his den). I never heard this song until I saw the amazing video during VH1 Classic’s 80 Hours Of 80s and I never even knew that Pete Shelley had a solo career, not to mention a solo career that started with one of the cheeziest synth-pop albums of the decade. I would love to hear “Homosapien” and other songs from that album redone as Buzzcocks-style rockers. These strange mixes are from a 12” single.

Big Country
Look Away 12” Mix
Restless Natives: The Soundtrack Part I
These are come from the 12” single of “Look Away” and while the 12” remix of “Look Away” is totally awesome and worth downloading, the real treat here is the b-side, which is half of the soundtrack to the film “Restless Natives,” a rarely seen Scottish movie starring Ned Beatty. When researching it I found more than one person proclaiming it to be “the greatest Scottish movie ever made.” I don’t know about that since I’ve never seen it (although the fact that it stars Ned Beatty makes me doubt that claim). Anyways, Big Country did the soundtrack for it and that soundtrack has been notoriously hard to find ever since. In fact it wasn’t made available on CD until 1998, when it was included on a Big Country rarities compilation, appropriately titled Restless Natives & Rarities. Of course, nothing is ever easy and that 2 CD is now out of print, going for upwards of $100 on eBay. Now, that’s fucking nuts and at first I thought it was totally uncalled for, but then I listened to it. This is a really good soundtrack, and if you like instrumental guitar music ala Mark Knoplfer then you have to hear it. But as the “part 1” in the title suggests, this is only half of the soundtrack. If you want to track down the second half and don’t feel like coughing up $100 bucks do some searching (*cough* The Pirate Bay *cough*) and you should be able to find it. If if comes my way I’ll be sure to put up the whole thing here.