Archive for October, 2016

Happy Halloween, Here are More Incredibly Strange Japanese Covers of Western Pop Music

Monday, October 31st, 2016

I hope you all had a happy Halloween weekend. I spent mine hobbled with a back injury. But don’t fret, it was not all tragedy. My boyfriend made me homemade salsa and taco salad while we watched Empire Of The Ants, the 1977 horror schlock featuring Joan Collins getting terrorized by an army of giant ants.

Also, I had prescription painkillers, so that was nice.

Ikkaku Tanabe
究極の選択 (Ultimate Decision)
This is a Japanese electro cover of Edgar Winter’s “Frankenstein.” But wait, it’s even weirder than it sounds.

The song is made up almost entirely of samples and other digital effects. Vocals are repeated and pitch-shifted to create melodies, while the bassline of “Frankenstein” plays behind them. Other random samples are thrown in too. I swear at about one minute and twenty-eight seconds in it samples a fraction of a second of vocals from “Heaven Is A Place On Earth.” Tell me I’m wrong I dare you.

The bizarre musical nature of the song was enough to make me fall in love with it, but I had to know if the all-Japanese lyrics were equally as batshit as the music it accompanies. Thankfully, my lovely boyfriend (who I love) went through the hassle of translating the lyrics.

And it turns out the song is as balls out crazy as it sounds. The lyrics are a continuous series of hypothetical no-win choices, many of which vulgar or disgusting in nature, hence the name “Ultimate Choice.” Read the translated lyrics below and see just what kind of decisions you’re being forced to make.

 

Wow! Which? Which? Ultimate decision!
I am Ikkaku Tanabe.
Life is a long, long thorny path.

Which? Which?
I am Ikkaku Tanabe, the Holy Great Ultimate Decision God!
Which would you eat – shit-tasted curry or curry-tasted shit?
When you brushed your teeth, which would you use – a tooth brush with shit tooth paste or…
The big reversed thrust of disgust it is!
What?! Me, darling? Disgusting!
Yeow!

Then, which will you eat, the tempura that yells at you when you try to pick it up with chopsticks or the steak that weeps when you try to cut it?

Which? Which? Well, this is surreal.
If I bumped into someone and he says, ‘Ouch! What the hell have you done to me?!’ then I might say, ‘All right then, I shall accept your challenge!’

Which? Which? I am Ikkaku Tanabe, the Holy Great Ultimate Decision God! Oh, I would like to have a bath!

Which would you do – plunge into an 80 degrees C hot bath from 10 meters or counting to 100 in a bath full of earthworms. One worm, two worms and… What? I’ve got a worm on my beard! Oh my God!

Which? Which? Ultimate decision! I am Ikkaku Tanabe.

Life is a long, long thorny path! I am Ikkaku Tanabe with a sad voice just like a melancholic violin. Which would you choose to marry – a woman who spends money like water or a woman who works you hard?

Which would you rather find out – your love is actually your father’s lover or that your mother used to be a man?

I could do nothing but sleep.

Which would you sleep on – a bed made with a pile of forks or a pee-soaked bed? Which? Hahahahaha!

If you sleep on forks for three years, you shall get used to it! Night night! Zzzzzzz! Still, forks hurt me.

Which? Which?

I am Ikkaku Tanabe, the Holy Great Ultimate Decision God!

Yup.

So who is Ikkaku Tanabe, AKA the Holy Great Ultimate Decision God?

Judging from this track, you might think he was some crazy performance artist or avant-garde musician. But actually he was a Japanese kodan performer. Kodan is a very traditional form of Japanese storytelling that dates back to the 1300s. While humor is a part of kodan, it is not stand-up comedy, which makes this, his sole foray into music, all the more bizarre.

I guess after all those years of talking about historical battles and samurais, the dude had a lot of shit humor built up in him.

Logic System
Classical Gas
Logic System is Hideki Matsutake, who worked on many of Yellow Magic Orchestra’s albums as a programmer. I really recommend his first two solo albums, Venus and Logic, they’re some of the best electronic music the early 80s had to offer. I also suggest you track down his 1979 album Digital Moon, which is entirely electronic covers of James Bond themes and it might be the greatest thing ever made.

Coming in a close second is this cover of “Classical Gas,” the 1968 instrumental by Mason Williams that you no doubt know even if you don’t know the name of it. Instead of going giving it a rather faithful electronic re-imagining, Matsutake starts out rather conventional and then goes off the fucking rails for an technopop explosion of synthesized keyboard and bass the likes of which you’ve never heard. This is so crazy it should’ve been the theme to a Darius boss battle.

The No Comments
Somebody To Love
If you ever wanted to hear a cover of “Somebody to Love” that sounds like it’s being sung by the bastard child of Nina Hagen and Kate Bush in a yodeling competition, then yo check it.

I don’t know much about this group, sadly. They released three albums in Japan only in the early 80s and then vanished. I  don’t even think their albums were even given a CD re-issue. They’re weird. Kind of funky I guess, but really more early new wave, like a polished X-Ray Spex or a rougher version of The Police.

Like I said, weird. If I can find more of their stuff or find out more about them I might share more later.

My Name is Prince! And I’m Jazz Fusion!

Monday, October 24th, 2016

Really quick, I wrote about (and shared) a hella stupid sex record on my other blog. Check it out if you like worthless cultural ephemera from the 1970s.

Also, in absolutely horrible news, Michiyuki Kawashima, the lead singer of Boom Boom Satellites, has passed away. He was 47 years old and leaves behind a wife and two children. His music touched me in a way that little else has. I already wrote two soliloquies on his band back when they had to call it quits due to his condition, one here and one at Mostly-Retro, and I feel that if I wrote more I’d just be repeating myself. I’ll just say that he’ll be missed, his music was a gift to this planet, and I hope you get the pleasure to hear it if you have the chance.

Moving on.

Some big music geek news this week, Warner Bros. announced that they were going to “open the Prince vault” and for a new release.

When I saw headlines for this, I was stoked. What were they going to include? Lost Camille tracks? Cuts from the original Dream Factory sessions? The Undertaker album? Any tracks from the numerous live albums that Prince recorded and never released?

Nah, instead they cobbled together another greatest hits compilation and stuck one unreleased track on it. Because in a world that has The Hits 1, The Hits 2, The Very Best of Prince and Ultimate Prince, what we really needed was another damn greatest hits album.

I get that they wanted to put something together for the holiday shopping season. I mean, it’s crass, unnecessary and kind of insulting, but I get it. But did they have to be so damn lazy about it? If they didn’t want to go through the bother of digging through unreleased material, the least they could’ve done is thrown in some more out-of-print B-sides or remixes to tide over the die-hards. A disc of “the hits” and a disc of rare tracks seems like it would’ve been a best of both worlds. We already have two, 2-disc Prince compilations. We don’t need a third.

We need funky jazz instead!

Madhouse
10 (The Perfect Mix)
(The Perfect) 10
Ten And A Half
2
6 (End Of The World Mix)
6
6 And A Half
As I said when I first wrote about Madhouse back in 2013, this group is one of three Prince associate acts that was more-or-less just Prince, the others being The Family and Mazarati. Unlike those acts though, which are very much pop groups, Madhouse was jazz fusion/funk. As such, and with Prince’s involvement in them not made obvious on the album jackets, no one bought them.

That includes me, I’ve never heard a Madhouse album proper. All I have are these two singles, which feature a handful of album tracks from the first album, a few remixes, and a couple b-sides (the “half” tracks). Madhouse tracks didn’t have names, just numbers, by the way.

While a lot of (deserved) attention has been placed on the unreleased Prince stuff out there, like I wrote back when Prince first passed away, I really wish Warner Bros. would get their shit together and put stuff like this back in print too. A best-case scenario would be some kind of Madhouse box set that includes both their albums, the b-sides and singles, and both versions of the unreleased third album, 24. However, I’d be happy with just the original albums back in print. So would a lot of other people, I assume.

Fucking Warner Bros., no wonder they drove Prince crazy.

Tokyo Record Stores and Forgotten Funk

Thursday, October 6th, 2016

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

I finished my guide to record stores in Tokyo. It took me seven plus months and is something like 15,000 words. It’s easily the biggest thing I’ve ever written and is the most work I’ve ever put into something. I know it’s not perfect, but I am really proud of it so if you ever read this blog and thing “man, that Lost Turntable guy is dope I wish I could show him how much I appreciate him” then you can do that by sharing that thing.

Okay, done groveling, here’s B-grade 80s funk.

Mico Wave
Star Search (Shep Pettibone Mix)
Star Search (Edit)
Star Search (Instrumental)
Star Search (Acappella)
Mico Wave is a Bootsy Collins protege who released his sole album, Cooking From The Inside Out, in 1987.

(I really appreciate his commitment to the whole microwave pun.)

I know at one point I owned that album, but I can’t seem to find it physically or digitally, and that’s a real bummer. It’s not a lost classic, but it’s pretty damn good. This track, a failed single that didn’t chart, is Mico at his best. And by “his best” I mean “fully ripping off Prince.” Although I guess that’s not entirely fair. This track in particular is much more in the Zapp camp than in the Prince, embracing electro far more than the Purple One typically did. Makes sense that Mico would also spend part of the 80s working with Herbie Hancock during his electro phase.

Speaking of which…

Herbie Hancock
Vibe Alive (Edit)
I really wanted to share the 12″ version of this, but that’s on Amazon and iTunes now, so if you want that you’ll have to actually pay money. Consider this now out-of-print 7″ version a sampler of the main course.  Mico Wave co-wrote this one, alongside Hancock and Bill Laswell. Considering the caliber of those two giants, I wonder how the hell he got that gig. Did Bootsy have dirt on Herbie or something? I mean, Mico appeared to be a more-than-talented musician and songwriter, but going from “failed Prince rip-off” to “co-writer on a Herbie Hancock album” is a hell of a jump forward. Good for him, I hope he made that money while the getting was good, as he’s seemed to have completely vanished off the face of the earth. His last credit was in 1996, on an album by some group called The Devotees. I can’t find anything online about them, which is a real bummer considering that album featured appearances by Bernie Worrell, John Popper, Vernon Reid of Living Colour and Trey Gunn of King Crimson. Anyone got any info on that one? Sounds like something else.