Archive for April, 2010

It’s Time For Techno Motherfookers!

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

I don’t like to swear in my post titles. So sue me. Mad props to the dude who discovered the source of the sample in last night’s post. You get a no-prize.

Guru Josh
Infinity (Much Much More)
Infinity (Spacey Saxophone Mix)
Infinity (1990’s…Time For The Guru 7” Mix)
Infinity (1990’s…Time For The Guru Mix)
Infinity (Mad Mix)
This is stupid, even for late-80s/early-90s techno. It’s so dumb I almost don’t like it, but that groovy smooth sax melody gets me every time. So apparently this was a hit single in Europe twice? Once in 1989 and then again in 2008/09? Wow. I mean, it’s not bad I guess, but really? It’s just so damned stupid.

Quadrophonia
Schizofrenia – The Worst Day Of My Life (Electrik Chair Mix)
Schizofrenia – The Worst Day Of My Life (Mark’s Ambient Heaven)
Schizofrenia – The Worst Day Of My Life (Omen Mix)
Schizofrenia – The Worst Day Of My Life (Tribal Tekno)
Schizofrenia – The Worst Day Of My Life (Electrik Edit)
But it really has nothing on this. While Infinity is stupid in a mildly entertaining kind of way, this shit is stupid in a so-damned-retarded-it’s-brilliant way. It’s almost like it was planned. IT’S TIME FOR TECHNO MOTHERFUCKERS! That’s actually a line in one of these remixes. Other choice vocal samples include various Chuck D/Flavor Flav vocal snippets, that one chick saying “bass” and that dude who says “hell yeah.” It even throws in some Beastie Boys samples at one point! All its missing is the James Brown “Woo! Yeah!” and the Amen Break and it would have won Acid House cliche bingo. Majestic idiocy at its finest.

Posted in Acid House, Guru Josh, Quadrophonia, remixes | 7 Comments »

I’d Want My Foot Back

Monday, April 26th, 2010

Hey, I interviewed someone from Big Audio Dynamite!

Hey, I reviewed the new edition of This Is Big Audio Dynamite!

Hey! Music from bands you probably never heard of!

Braindead Sound Machine
Where The Pavement Ends (Edit)
Where The Pavement Ends (Nitronic Mix)
The Living End
Soon Come, Goddamit
And the winner for the Wikipedia page Most Obviously Written by a Fan or Band Member goes to Braindead Sound Machine. Yikes. That thing is a nightmare. I put some stuff up by these guys before, they were on Wax Trax, which is pretty much the only reason why I bought this single in the first place. It’s been sitting in my “Songs For The Blog” playlist for about a year now, and in the spirit of spring cleaning I finally decided to post them. I actually dig “Where The Pavement Ends” it’s a pretty good upbeat dance tune that happens to have one of the most disturbing vocal samples I’ve ever hard the wonderful displeasure of hearing. If anyone can tell me where that particularly gruesome vocal sample is from I would appreciate it. Don’t bother telling me where the vocal samples on “Some Come, Goddamit” are from. You know someone as misanthropic as me has seen Network right?

Sheep On Drugs
15 Minutes of Fame (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)
I could have probably cut this into three separate MP3s, but the single listed them as one track and if I’m anything it’s a stickler for consistency. I’ve heard about half a dozen Sheep on Drugs tracks and this is by far my favorite. It’s also the longest, so that works out well.

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

I Need a Devo Hat

Friday, April 23rd, 2010

Some of you wanted to read the thing I wrote about trance music. It’s not much but here it is. Enjoy.

I’ve been writing for eHow for about a month now. It’s a pretty solid gig and I enjoy it. If you like that article check out the other stuff I’ve written there. Shocker: most of it is about audio and video.

Devo
Baby Doll (Extended Mix)
Baby Doll (Single Mix)
Baby Doll (Dub Mix)
Baby Doll (Devo Single Mix)
Baby Doll (Percapella)
Baby Doll (Sung In Swedish)
Agitated (Hyperextended Mix)
Devo! You know what’s cooler than Devo? Nothing. That’s a scientific fact that has been proven by science! You can’t deny it’s truth. Devo is playing Lollapalooza. I am going to Lollapalooza. I am more than stoked. I am going to watch them work it. Lolla’s line-up is pretty solid this year, minus the horrid Lady Gagagagaganess.

Yikes, digression. Anyways, Devo. They’re awesome. Let’s focus on that. Most of these tracks are from a 12” single for Baby Doll that was freaking sealed when I bought it last month, so they sound INCREDIBLE. The very odd Swedish version is from the soundtrack to Tapeheads. That was not sealed and sounds less incredible, but still pretty damn good. A few of these tracks were on the re-issued version of Total Devo that came out in the 90s, but that version of the album – heck all versions of that album – is out of print. So I don’t want to hear any “hey this isn’t that rare” bullshit. Don’t cramp my Devo high. New Devo this June! Fuck yeah!

Coheed & Cambria
Pearl of the Stars (Big Beige Demo Version)
Okay, you know what’s almost as cool as Devo? Claudio Sanchez’s hair. If you stare at it long enough it starts to stare back. It could beat Chuck Norris in a fight. This demo take of the quality track from Coheed’s latest brilliant piece of overblown insanity, The Year Of The Black Rainbow, is from a 7” picture disc that I got on Record Store Day. Good times.

Posted in Coheed And Cambria, demos, Devo, remixes | 3 Comments »

Many Miles Away Bigfoot Rocks Out

Monday, April 19th, 2010

I hope everyone enjoyed their Record Store Day and got plenty of nifty neato keen exclusive records. I sure as hell did and in the coming weeks I’ll probably be posting them. Until then here are some especially bitchin’ tracks that I’ve been meaning to share for a while now.

Steppenwolf – Magic Carpet Ride (Steir’s 1999 Ride Club Mix)
DJ Rap – Good To Be Alive (Deep Dish Remix)
Sometimes shit is creepy man. Not a week goes by after I mention how I wish I had a copy of Philip Steir’s remix of Magic Carpet Ride that I find it, on freaking vinyl, in a record store. Not only that, it’s an entirely different remix that’s twice as long as the version that I had on the soundtrack to Go all those years ago. Synchronicity man, Sting was right (had to happen eventually). Somewhere the Loch Ness Monster is getting ready to appear. It’s gonna happen. Or something. Maybe if I keep saying I need a beautiful six foot tall women who likes Gary Numan to show up at my doorstep that’ll happen to. Anyways, the vinyl that I got this from was a 4-track 2×12” sampler for the Go soundtrack that had also had the above remix of the DJ Rap song. Nice bonus. The other two tracks were on the regular CD version so I’m not posting them here.

Spizz
Where’s Captain Kirk (Extended Remix)
I don’t know if Spizz (aka Spizzenrgi aka Spizz Oil aka Athletico Spizz ’80 aka oh c’mon now…) deserved to be star, but he definitely deserved to be a one-hit-wonder. The original version of “Where’ Captain Kirk” remains the best song about Star Trek EVER and one of the best punk rock singles ever put to wax. He was also responsible for one of the strangest 30 second songs ever written “Clock are Big” and he appears in the greatest New Wave concert film ever. The greatness surrounding Spizz abounds.

This extended remix the punk rock track that boldly went where no punk rock track had gone before is not based off the original version, but is instead an extended take of synthed-out version that was recorded in 1987. It’s still great, but not as good as the original. I got this from a 12”.

Posted in DJ Rap, Philip Steir, Spizz, Sting Theories proved correct | 4 Comments »

IT’S RECORD STORE DAY!

Saturday, April 17th, 2010

Turn off your computer and go buy some vinyl bitches.

Well, not now, it’s 1:15 in the morning, but you know what I mean.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Can all Paul’s create good dance music?

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

Meh I’m tired go listen at the neat dance music.

Paul Van Dyk
Nothing But You (PVD Club Mix)
Nothing But You (Vandit Club Mix)
Nothing But You (Cirrus Mix)
I recently had to write a guide explaining the different types of trance music. You know what? That shit wasn’t easy. You try explaining how hard trance is different than acid trance and how all goa is psytrance but not all psytrance is goa (maybe, that’s debatable I guess) and that vocal, pop, uplifting and anthem are all different sub-genres. And then do all that in 500 fucking words. Damn. I love me some trance music but I HATE writing about it. Which is why all I’m going to say about this track is that I love it and that I got it from a 12” single.

Paul Oakenfold
Southern Sun (Sabato Breakz Mix)
Southern Sun (Tiesto Mix)
Southern Sun (Gabriel And Dresden Mix)
Southern Sun (Liquid Todd Mix)
Ready Steady Go (PMT Mix)
Ready Steady Go (Trailer Trash Mix)
Ready Steady Go (Layo And Bushwacka Mix)
This too is trance, so I’ll just say that Southern Sun is very pretty and Ready Steady Go is a great dance tune. There’s my insightful music criticism for the day. Leave me alone, it’s late.

Acid 4×4
Planet Love Ink – Living In Pain
Vinyl Countdown – Animal Republic
Burger Industries – Funk The Industry
Brotherhood of Structure – We Are Structure
As much as I like trance I think my heart will always lie with acid house. While trance can get a little pretentious, mellow or pop-friendly at times, acid house is always gloriously stupid. This is a genre whose crowning achievement is The KLF’s White Room, an album that was purposely designed to be a mainstream hit to appeal to the lowest common denominator. And it’s fucking brilliant. These tracks are decidedly less brilliant but are still quite fun, and are from a 2×10” sampler that came on red transparent vinyl. Side note: Vinyl Countdown is a fucking brilliant name.

Posted in Acid House, Paul Oakenfold, Paul Van Dyk, remixes | 7 Comments »

The Big Gay Post

Wednesday, April 14th, 2010

So how has everyone been. I’ve been trying to update more often but life keeps getting in the way. Damn getting paid to write.

Which reminds me, hey I wrote this, you should go read it and say how awesome it is.

Cyndi Lauper
Come On Home (Techno Vox)
Come On Home (Techno Dub)
Come On Home (Jungle Vox)
Come On Home (Junior’s Sound Factory Mix)
Come On Home (Factory Dub) (Short Version)
Come On Home (Extended Club Mix)
I think I’m gay for Cyndi Lauper, does that make any sense? I mean, dudes who like chicks aren’t supposed to dance like a retard to house remixes of songs by gay icons are they? But who makes these rules? Why can’t a big guy from Pittsburgh who likes football and Motorhead also rock out to synthpop and fabulous house music? Fuck that. If I want to listen to Erasure and watch a marathon of RuPaul’s Drag Race one day and listen to 2 Live Crew and watch Charles Bronson movies the next (Bronson is the manliest man ever, that’s a fact) then that’s my business!

These remixes kick ass, if you haven’t picked up on that already. The 12” for this lists the tracks in a pretty interesting way actually. Side one is labeled as the “techno” side, while the b-side is called the “house” side. The descriptions are dead on, although I think dubbing one track “Jungle Vox” was pushing it.

One more note about this single. The tracklisting says that the “Junior Sound Factory Mix” is 11:43 long. Now, I recoded this sucker twice to be sure, and it’s coming out to about 11:07 for me. If it’s skipping over a 30 second bit of the song it’s doing a damn good job of hiding it.

Boy George
Don’t Take My Mind On A Trip (Main Club 12″)
Don’t Take My Mind On A Trip (12″ U.K. Acid Dub)
Don’t Take My Mind On A Trip (Boris & Chris 12″)
Don’t Take My Mind On A Trip (Main Club 12″)
I am NOT gay for Boy George. Sorry. These tracks are from a 12” single that bought mostly to see if the “acid” mix really was acid house. It sadly wasn’t . Not a bad track really, but not at all my style.

Posted in Boy George, Cyndi Lauper, remixes | 4 Comments »

My Morning Sun will Self-Destruct in 5 Seconds.

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

Fucking weather! It’s 84 today and it’s going to be 45 on Friday. My nose is going to fall off.

But hey, music!

Adam Clayton & Larry Mullen
Mission: Impossible Theme (Mission Accomplished) (Dave Clarke Remix)
Mission: Impossible Theme (Mission Accomplished)
Theme From Mission: Impossible (Junior’s Hard Mix)
Theme From Mission: Impossible (Guru Mix)
Theme From Mission: Impossible (Junior’s Hard Mix – Edit)
Theme From Mission: Impossible (Tribal Beats)
I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for this meeting:

Executive 1: “Hey everyone, we got the two guys from U2 to record the new Mission: Impossible Theme!”
Executive 2: “Wow! We got Bono and The Edge?”
Executive 1: “No…the other two.”
Executive 2: “You’re fired.”

That being said, this song is probably one of five U2-related songs recorded since1996 that I haven’t fucking hated with a passion. These remixes of the theme song from the Tom Cruise monstrosity were taken from a 12” single.

New Order
True Faith (Morel’s Extra Dub)
True Faith (Philip Steir Dub)
True Faith (Morel’s Pink Noise Club Mix)
True Faith (Philip Steir Club Mix)
True Faith (Morel’s Calling Shifty Dub)
More New Order that I didn’t have before! That’s amazing. Twice in a month! Even more amazing is that when I picked up this 2×12” promo last week I actually recognized these two remixers by name. Morel is an amazing remixer, and his mixes for the Pet Shop Boys and Depeche Mode are all must-listens. He’s also a solo artist, and his 2008 album The Death of a Paperboy was…well…kinda crap. But hey, he has the remixes going for him, which is nice. Philip Steir is also an accomplished remix artist; he did that bitchin’ remix of Steppenwolf’s “Magic Carpet Ride” that was on the soundtrack to Go. But anyways, all of these mixes are pretty damn good. It doesn’t hurt that True Faith has one of the catchiest choruses of all time.

Posted in New Order, remixes, U2 | 5 Comments »

EAT ELECTRIC DEATH! The Tempest 2000 Soundtrack

Thursday, April 1st, 2010

My friend Anna Hegedus recently bought an Atari Jaguar. Don’t worry, she already apologized. It was one of the few remaining holes in her classic console collection, which already included legendary duds like the 3D0 and the Phillips CDi. So she was pretty hardcore about tracking one down. She was so hardcore that she paid…well I’m not going to say what she paid, it was a lot…for a Jaguar-themed bundle on eBay.

The box of suck included an Atari Jaguar (still in box) and an Atari CD add-on (very hard to find). It also included several games, including copies of Dragon’s Lair and Space Ace that were signed by Don Bluth.

With baited breath Anna and I hooked up the Jaguar today for a test drive (sorry, bad pun) and we quickly plowed through the batch of horrendous suckfests that were the Atari Jaguar software library. We bore witness to a horrendous port of Doom, the shitty space shooter Cybermorph, and the Jaguar CD’s horrendous port of Blue Lightening, an Afterburner rip-off that was actually a sweet Lynx title. We even booted up the pinnacle of shit, the movie-based White Men Can’t Jump, which played and looked like NBA Jam covered in about 50 tons of raw sewage.

However, there was one diamond in the shit-stained rough; Tempest 2000.

Tempest 2000 is a remake of the original Tempest, an arcade classic from 1981 and it kicks eight different kinds of ass. It’s the most frantic and fast-paced shooter you’ll ever play and it’s crazy psychedelic explosions made the game an acid trip in cart form. There were other versions of the game released on other systems but the Atari Jaguar version remains the best.

And not only did Anna’s box of Atari ass contain the original Tempest 2000 (in the box, complete with instructions to boot) but it also included one more bit of Tempest-related goodness…

Tempest 2000: The Soundtrack
The Tempest 2000 soundtrack KICKS ASS, and it’s one of the reasons why the Jaguar version remains the definitive release. It’s an amazing collection of acid house inspired techno and entirely original. It’s a bit derivative and definitely silly as hell, but so was most “legit” electronic music at the time. If you like old-school Moby, The KLF or FSOL then you need to listen to this soundtrack, it’s the best techno album you never heard.

Now if you visit Amazon you can buy this soundtrack, and many of you probably know that I try not to post music that’s in print and easily available. However, I’m making an exception this time around, and for various reasons:

1. This technically isn’t available at Amazon, it’s being sold by an independent retailer through Amazon’s site.

2. The retailer himself says that the soundtrack is out of print.

3. This soundtrack was released by Atari, and they no longer exist

Does that make me a hypocrite who’s over-rationalizing? Maybe. But I don’t care. The fact remains that this album is out of print, it kicks ass and you should listen to it right now!

Also go visit Anna Hegedus’ amazing site, where she’ll show you how to fix your NES, make your 360 full of pretty lights and much more!

Also, if you like Tempest 2000 then check out this excellent lecture by Jeff Minter, the crazy motherfucker behind it all.

No llamas were harmed the in making of this post.

Posted in Complete Albums, Tempest, video game music | 4 Comments »