Super-ultra-cool Pop Will Eat Itself tracks! Hot off the turntable! I’m so happy I found these that I don’t even want to complain and rant tonight! I know, I’m shocked and disappointed too, but don’t worry my feelings of joy and happiness will soon pass.

I’m going to try to explain where all these tracks came from and where else you can get them, but it’s a little confusing and I’m writing this at 2:30 in the morning, so I apoloigize in advance if what you are about to read makes no sense.

Pop Will Eat Itself
Bubbles
From the 12” single for “Beaver Patrol” (sigh) single. Now available on the re-issued Now For A Feast! CD.

Oh Grebo I Think I Love You (New Version)
Also on “Beaver Patrol” (that doesn’t get any less stupid with repeated sayings) but this “new version” which is twice as long as the original one is not on any CD as of yet.

Def. Con. One. (12” Version)
If I have to tell you that this is from the “Def. Con. One.” 12” then you can’t read my blog anymore because you’re too stupid. It’s not on CD.

Inside You (Live)
She’s Surreal (Live)
Hit The Hi Tech Groove (Live)
Also on the Def. Con. One. 12”. The live “Inside You” is on the Now For A Feast! CD. Strangely the other two live tracks were put on the re-issued Box Frenzy CD.

Love Missle F1-11 (Designer Grebo Megamix)
Love Missle F1-11 (Original Poppies Mix)
Okay, now it gets (even more) confusing. There are two F1-11 12” singles. The first one has these two remixes on it. The “Grebo” mix is unavailable on CD while the “Original Poppies Mix” is on that “Now For A Feast!” CD.

Orgone Accumulator (Hawkwind cover…wait, they covered Hawkwind?!?! WTF?)
Everything That Rises (Shriekback cover)
Everything That Rises (New Version)
Like An Angel (A cover of someone…possibly The Mighty Lemondrops)
And now it gets even MORE confusing. “Orgone Accumulator” and “Everything That Rises” are on both F1-11 12” singles. However, while the both have the same version of “Orgone Accumulator” (even though one is called the “new version”) the versions of “Everything That Rises” are different. Finally, “Like An Angel” is only on the second F1-11 single. These are all on CD (I think) expect one of the versions of “Everything That Rises” – but I don’t know which one.

Do you know if I made any mistakes? I don’t care. However I will give a Lost Turntable no-prize to anyone who can tell me what the fuck a grebo is though. As far as I can tell it’s a retarded looking white British kid with dredlocks.

That title right there was almost the name of this blog. Yikes.

I wasn’t going to post anything else this week but I found two soundtrack so batshit nuts crazy that I had to force myself to make time.

Sounds From True Stories – Music For Activities Freaks
I have a music/movie nerd confession to make…I’ve never seen True Stories. Yeah, I know it’s a great weird bizarre cult classic that every Talking Heads fans should see. It’s totally on my Netflix queue I swear! But so is The Stuff, Wild Zero and countless 70s European softcore porno movies and I’m only one man dammit! I own the album though and just yesterday I was lucky enough to find this ultra-rare companion soundtrack to the film which features all the non-Talking Heads tracks. There aren’t many songs on this record really, most of it is just incidential music, but hardcore David Byrne freaks should enjoy it (and fans of Muzak). It’s never been released on CD and goes for about 20 bucks on eBay. That one surprised me, I would have figured it’d be much higher, kind of like the next album…

Three O’Clock High – Original Motion Picture Soundtrack.
Growing up as a socially arkward child with too much access to VHS tapes I saw this movie a lot growing up. I don’t remember much of it, but I do recall loving it. I probably liked it because the nebbish bookworm gets the girl and beats the shit out of the bully. Anyways, I grabbed this soundtrack a few days ago for nostalgia’s sake without even realizing it was by Tangerine Dream (for the most part, more on that in a bit). I went online to see how much this one was going for and holy shit! The prices are a little lower on eBay but you can still expect to shell out 20 to 30 bucks on this one. That is nucking futs! At first that blew my mind but after doing some research it started to make more sense.

Most of this soundtrack is by Tangerine Dream. If you rented a movie that was made in the 80s you’ve probably heard Tangerine Dream, since they did the scores to movies as diverse as Risky Business, Legend and Miracle Mile (GREAT movie btw). However, also contributing to the soundtrack is a dude by the name of Sylvester Levay. What Tangerine Dream was to movie soundtrack in the 80s Levay was to TV soundtracks because he is the man who brought us the theme to Airwolf (speaking of insane eBay auctions…). The combined force of Levay and TD is probably the reason why this puppy can be found on some sites for as much as 70 bucks.

They aren’t the only composers though. Someone named Jim Walker contributes the obligatory end credits song. I have no idea if he is the same Jim Walker who played drums in Public Image Ltd., I doubt it – although I am fairly certain it’s not Jimmy Walker. Rounding things out is Rick Moratta and David Tickle, who composed, produced and performed the final track on the album “Arrival”. I don’t know who Moratta is, but Tickle is a world-renowned producer, having worked with Prince, Adam and and Split Enz.

German ambient pioneers, 80s TV composers and the guy who produced Prince’s Parade all on one LP. I love the randomness of 80s cult soundtracks.

Double Argh. Life is totally dominating my…um…life right now, so I apologize again for the lack of posts and the lack of amazing commentary by me in said posts. Too tired to talk right now.

If you’re looking for a rant go read my review of the new Lost Boys soundtrack. Holy fuck it’s balls.

Dokken
Back For The Attack
Little known fact: I am totally metal. Doubt my metalness? Last week I went to the Metal Masters show and saw the majestic awesomeness of Motorhead, Heaven And Hell and Judas Priest. Lemmy is god. I’m reviewing Motorhead’s new CD, which is pretty good, and I’ll link to it once it’s done. Anways, although I’m a huge metal fan I’ve never been that into Dokken. I am however, very much into A Nightmare On Elm Street and this was the B-side to their “Dream Warrior” single. It is strangely not on the album of the same name.

Doobie Brothers
Listen To The Music (Motiv8 12” Mix)
Listen To The Music (Man City Dub)
Listen To The Music (Rampantly Pleasureable Mix)
How does something like this happen? These remixes aren’t from some fly-by-night bootleg label either, these were released by Warner Bros! What’s even stranger is that they aren’t the first dance-happy Doobie Bros. remixes I’ve heard. A while ago I bought a 12” single for a re-release of “Long Train Runnin'” that was absoultely hideous, worse than the version that was in DDR a few years back. I also remember a Toledo area DJ called DJ Daddy sampling “Black Water” in his live set, and that was actually pretty cool. These remixes aren’t bad either.

Michael Sembello
Maniac (Vocal Remix)
The college that I am currently trying to escape from is primarily known as a dance school, and as an overweight uncoordinated oaf seeing all those skinny pricks in leotards is very annoying. I have this fantasy of showing up to school one day, dressed as Jennifer Beals, and dancing to this song in the middle of a lecture hall untill I’m forcibly removed. That’s not just burning a bridge that’s blowing the motherfucker up. This remix is from a 12” single.

The thorn in my plan? They don’t make leg warmers that fit me.

Garbage
When I Grow Up (Danny Tenaglia’s Club Mix)
Special (Brothers In Rhythm Mix)
Good remixes of good songs by a good band. I’m tired and that’s all I got.

Argh. It’s been a long week and now Friday is approaching and I realize that I’ve only put up one post this week. That pisses me off because my backlog of awesome shit to put up is getting opressive again. I have to head out of town this weekend and I’m kind of throwing this post together just because I wanted to put something up, so it is super random, even for me.

Faith No More
Ashes To Ashes (Dillinja Remix)
Ashes To Ashes (Hardknox Alternative Mix)
Until I found this strange 12” single I didn’t know that remixes of Faith No More songs existed. These are radically different mixes than the original album version. The first one is very drum and bass (and cool) while the other is slightly more faithful to the original – it almost features the song’s chorus. I didn’t like them at first but they’ve grown on me.

The Cardigans
Lovefool (Tee’s Club Radio)
Lovefool (Tee’s Frozen Sun Mix)
Lovefool (Puck Version)
Speaking of shit that’s grown on me (eww, when I say it like that it sounds gross). I used to hate this song, but now I kind of like it. Maybe I am becoming a pussy in my old age. The first two remixes are dancey and bouncy while the “Puck” version is really a semi-obscenely named acoustic take. It’s pretty. Not Portishead pretty, but pretty.

Yes
Owner Of A Lonely Heart (Red & Blue Remix)
This is kind of a dub remix I think. It’s really weird. No weirder than a prog-rock band reinventing itself as a new wave pop band though. From a 12”.

Toadies
Cut Me Out
The Toadies have a new album out. It’s called No Deliverance and it’s really good. I’m reviewing it for Bullz-eye and once it’s live I’ll link to it. In the meantime here’s a great Toadies track that isn’t on any Toadies album as far as I know. “Cut Me Out” was originally own the Escape From L.A. Soundtrack. A good soundtrack to a not-so-good movie, it featured Tool, Butthole Surfers and a few other good bands (and Gravity Kills). VERY much a sign of its times. This is one of the best track from that album.

I heard that The Toadies covered Gary Numan’s “Cars” for a b-side or something. If anyone could find that for me I’d totally be your BFF.

I’ve previously expounded on the ups and downs of working as a freelance music reviewer, but today I was exposed to a new low, lower than even that damn Tokio Hotel album.

I had to review the soundtrack to Lost Boys: The Tribe, the straight-to-DVD sequel to The Lost Boys AKA the second greatest 80s vampire movie (Near Dark wins bitches). It was painful and a little bit of me died inside when I head those shitty little emo/horror-punk fuckers Aiden covering the classic “Cry, Little Sister.” Didn’t they name themselves after a character in The Ring? I think it’s safe to say they don’t know a fucking thing about horror. You want to prove you’re real hardcore when it comes to horror? Name your band after a character from an Argento film.

The review of that shitstorm will be up soon, I’ll share it with you all when the time comes. In the meantime here are some links to my reviews of recent albums that I actually liked.

Mugison’s Mugiboogie is a weird-ass collection of incredibly diverse tracks by a one-man Icelandic recording machine.

Computer vs. Banjo: Best band name I’ve heard in a while. I’m eagerly awaiting the accordion vs.turntable follow-up.

Middle Class Rut: Proof that I don’t hate all new pop-punk.

Lost Brothers
Cry Little Sister (I Need U Now) (Club Mix)
Cry Little Sister (I Need U Now) (Gladiator Remix)
These are trance remake/remixes of the original Lost Boys theme track. While they aren’t amazing and might get on the nerves of some less techno-friendly folk, they are both about a billion times better and more original than Aiden’s botched abortion of a cover.

The Killers
When You Were Young (Jacques Lu Cont’s Thin White Duke Mix)
When You Were Young (The Lindbergh Palace Remix)
When You Were Young (Jacques Lu Cont’s Thin White Duke Dub)
When You Were Young (The Lindbergh Palace Dub)
I got my roommate (who is from China) into The Killers, which is quite a feat considering that the last American band I heard coming out of his iPod was Chicago – and it wasn’t even “good” Chicago, it was “You’re The Inspiration.” His interest in the Las Vegas New-New Wavers came from that new Nike commercial. Although he originally thought the lyrics to that tune were “I got soul cuz I’m not sober.” Meh. Close enough. These remixes of an entirely different song are from a 2LP 12” single.

John Lydon
Psychopath (Leftfield Dub Remix)
Psychopath (Leftfield Remix #3)
I’m not buying that Lydon is a racist prick. Well, I think it’s common knowledge that he’s a prick, I mean, damn he cussed out Duffy – what did she ever do to anyone? But I’m more apt to believe his side of the story than mister “Mercury’s in retrograde.” But if he is actually a racist then I hope he tries that shit with the guy from Gym Class Heroes, because apparently he doesn’t take to kindly to being called the N-word (horribly shot YouTube video of incident here). Side note: don’t hate on GCH because of race, hate on them because of their awful music. But I digress, these two remixes from the supposed xenophobe are from a 12” and neither of them are the Leftfield Mix that appears on the Psycho’s Path album – which is a really good record by the way.

I’m totally addicted to NBC.com’s Olympic video site. Late night handball marathons motherfucker!

Beastie Boys
Rock Hard
This was one of the Beastie Boys’ first singles and it’s kind of (in)famous since it can never be re-released because AC/DC won’t clear the very obvious sample of “Back In Black.” What a bunch of dicks. I guess they are too busy signing exclusive deals with Wal-Mart to do anything cool. I found this online years ago, I forgot were.

Saul Williams
Pedagogue Of Young Gods
World On Wheels
Can’t Hide Love
As I said before, Saul was one of the highlights of Lollapalooza for me and he totally blew me away. I’ve been a fan of his since I saw him at Lollapalooza back in 05 and I’m happy to see that he’s finally starting to take off (even if it is mostly because of a Nike commercial). These four tracks are on the CD/vinyl version of Niggy Tardust, but they aren’t on the original digital-only release, so if you only have that you should get these tracks too. “Pedagogue Of Young Gods” is the easy stand-out of the bunch, it’s a spoken word piece over the music to “No One Ever Does” and reminds you that Saul started out as a poet. The other two tracks are great, but fucking crazy, and are heavy with the old-school electro beats. The physical version of Niggy Tardust also has “Gunshots By Computer” and the suddenly popular “List Of Demands” and those are also available on the Year Zero Remixed album and Saul’s self-titled sophomore release, respectively.

Plastic Little
The Jump Off (King Krash Mix)
Now I Hollar
I know three things about Plastic Little: 1. They’re in Diplo’s crew, 2. They’re probably named after a sex-filled anime, and 3. When it comes to sampling they got balls because “Now I Hollar” takes PJ Harvey’s “Down By The Water” and transforms the original song (about a dead baby) into a song about fucking. That song is on one of their albums, but I couldn’t help but put it on here – it’s so wrong it’s right.

Portishead
The Rip (Live At Mr. Wolf’s) (Stupid Fucking File Fucking Works Now…FUCK)
This is audio grabbed from the USB stick that comes with the ultra-awesome edition of Third that I mentioned last night (of course you can find it on YouTube too). There are supposed to be more videos on the USB-enabled website soon, and if any of them have anything exclusive on them I’ll put them up too. This is the most beautiful song I’ve ever put on this site.

As I promised, the Lollapalooza recapping continues, but instead of focusing on the bands I’m going to focus on the idiots who damn near ruined everything. Oh, and I actually have some music tonight, such a quaint concept for an MP3 blog I know!

There was a lot of idiocy at this year’s Lollapalooza, more than ever before. And it didn’t just come from the fans. No, security, the police, the promoters and even the performers themselves were all guilty of douchebaggery the likes of which this world has rarely seen. All the idiocy I witnessed made me seriously doubt the validity of mankind as a whole and by the end of Sunday I was chanting the “fuck all” riff from Tool’s AEnima. It was bad. People just don’t know how to behave anymore! Which leads me to this:

The NEW AND IMPROVED Lost Turntable Guide To Festivals

Part 1: The Fans

1. Security & Cops Can Be Your Friend
I’ve never made it much of a secret that I’m not a big fan of authority and the police; but I’m not an idiot – everyone else is. And since so much of the populace is mentally retarded someone needs to help the fuckers. So, when the cops/security are carrying hurt people to an ambulance GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY. Don’t stand there like a slack-jawed fucktwat with your thumb up your butt going “damn that sucks for them.” Every time I see someone do this I want to shove my boot up so far up their ass that they suffer severe internal bleeding and then stand back and gawk at their pain so the paramedics can’t help them.

2. Stage Rushing: Not Cool
I’ve never been one to head to the front of the stage during a show, especially one where there will be moshing and crowd-surfing. I have nothing against either of those two activities, they just aren’t for me (and in the case of crowd-surfing, not for everyone around me, since I’m one big fucker). What I do hate, however, is when hordes of idiots decide that they need to be in front of the stage right now and slam their retarded fucking faces into the backs of the poor people in front of them, who in turn are forced to move forward into the people in front of them and so on, until the people in front get their bodies crushed between a sweaty mass of douchebaggery and a steel fence. If you want to get close to the stage get there early like a decent person or be a dick like everyone else and shove your way to the front five minutes before the band comes on. Don’t hurt and/or potentially kill people just so you can see Rage. They weren’t that good anyways (and their soundsystem was shit). The people who do this should get kicked to the ground so elephants with diarrhea can walk over them until they are shit-covered bloodstains.

3. There are more than two porta-pottys at Lollapalooza
This one blows my mind. there are literally hundreds of shitters at Lollapalooza, all lined up in pretty little rows ready to be defiled. They’re all in plain sight, one lined up after another. However, this doesn’t stop people from lining up to use the first two or three and completely ignoring the dozens that are unoccupied and ready to be used for pissing! What the fuck is wrong with these people? Are they so bred to be followers that they can’t even lead themselves into a shitter? They have to take the lead of someone else? These people are the stupidist people on Earth. Their names should be taken and they shouldn’t be allowed to vote or breed.

4. Surprisngly enough you can have two legs, be flammable block a fire exit.
Let me set the stage: Saturday night, Rage Against The Machine is playing. It’s intense and they keep having to stop the show for safety reasons. Not wanting to die at a rock concert (that is s00000 The Who 1979) I decide to get the hell out of there. The closest exit for me is the media one, which is located to the left of the stage, right past a series of stairs – I’m only about 50 feet from it so I figure it won’t be a big deal. I walk to the stairs and notice that it’s pretty crowded, but I keep going. When I get closer I realize why it’s so dense here, people are just standing on the stairs, using them as a keen vantage point to see Rage. But it’s dark out, people aren’t paying attention, and the assume (rightfully) that the path to the exit will be clear, so they keep walking to the stairs. The result is a violent mass of humanity getting poked, prodded and nearly trampled all because some worthless ‘bros and stupid bitches can get a good view of a band that hans’t released new material in close to a decade (seriously guys, it’s just Rage, get over it). These idiots could have fucking killed someone. I seriously, no joke, hope everyone that was blocking an exit or putting other people’s lives in danger just to get a good view of the band gets their reproductive mauled by a rapid squirrel. Don’t fucking block an exit! I’m not even joking here! It’s stupid and someone could have gotten fucking killed!

Part 2: Performers

1. Artsy Bullshit Doesn’t Work In Front of 75,000 People
Look, I like Radiohead. I’m one of those idiots who owns a shitload of their EPs, import singles and 12” records just so I can get one song that I didn’t have before. I even shelled out the extra bucks for the “discbox” of In Rainbows that had a bonus disc of exclusive material. But these fuckers pissed me the fuck off on Friday with their shitty ass stage show. Okay, Thom, I get it, you guys are “artists'” so pyrotechnics, jumping around and acting like you might actually be having fun are all out of the question, but could you at least take into consideration the throngs of fans that have been standing in the heat all day to see you? My main beef with their show was the moronic use of the monitors to the right and left of the stage. Usually, these monitors are used to display closeups of the band for those of us unfortunate enough to get a good luck on our own. Radiohead however, in all their art-rock dickery, decided to take each of these monitors and split them six ways. Not only that, the six-way split was used to show various extreme closeups of the band. So instead of seeing Thom sing “There There” I saw his chin. Thanks a lot you cocked-eyed bastard.

2. Your Fans Are Probably Assholes
Hey Rage, you do know that 90% of your fans don’t even give a shit about “the revolution,” social injustice, political reform or the vanishing working class right? They just want to hear “Killing In The Name Of” and start some shit. Nice message you got, too bad it’s falling on deaf ears. Time to call it a day.

Part 3: Promoters

1. Security is money well spent
As I mentioned at Bullz-eye.com, the Girl Talk show was a complete disaster, with braindead cunnies and retarded fratboys rushing the stage with delusions that they would be allowed to party with Gregg. This wouldn’t have been that much of a problem if there was ample security to deal with the situation, but they were severely understaffed, and opening for dumb girls to hop the fence and get on stage soon appeared. $145 a ticket + 75,000 people = enough money for security guards.

2. There can be too much of a good thing
Just because the fire marhsall will let you cram 75,000 people in Grant Park doesn’t mean you should! I enjoy music but I enjoy walking across the park without getting stepped on by a gaggle of douchebags even more.

And this one is for everyone:

You’re not the only person in the motherfucking world!
You like the band on stage and want to show your love? Excellent, don’t do it by screaming in the ear of the person next to them. You want to try something different with your live shows? I respect that, but try it at a smaller venue with a more respective audience. Want to make a shitload of money before our broken capitalist society fails? Go for it, but try to make a good concert too.

In case you didn’t notice there’s a central theme to all of my rules and regulations; don’t be so damn selfish. Lollapalooza (or any concert for that matter) only works if we all work together to make it a killer weekend. If you decide to show up shitfaced, cheat your fans out of a good show, or rip off everyone around you then you’ll bring everyone else down and in turn bring yourself down eventually. I want Lollapalooza to stick around for a long time, but if there are any more years like this I don’t think it will – at least it won’t for me.

And that’s it. I’m sure as always I’ll get people who calling me a tight ass or asshole for my views on how people should behave at concerts. And as always I say that these people should go fuck themselves while listening to the following awesome music.

Godhead
Eleanor Rigby (Lords Of Acid Mix)
Eleanor Rigby (Chaotica Mix)
Eleanor Rigby (Sonic State Mix)
You got to hand it to Godhead. Not only did they decide that the world needed another NIN-lite band after Stabbing Westward and Gravity Kills, but they decided that they would be the NIN-lite band to cover one of The Beatles most acclaimed songs. And then The Lords Of Acid liked it long enough to stop fucking half of Belgium to remix it. These are off a 12” single.

Portishead
Numbed In Moscow
A Tribute To Monk & Canatella
Lot More (An awesome remix of “Sour Times”)
Theme From “To Kill A Dead Man”
Airbus Reconstruction (A weird-as-hell remix of “Sour Times”)
These are all the B-sides to “Sour Times.” They are all cool and you should download them. Now that I got that out of the way allow me to gush about the super-cool neato-keen awesome Ultra-Limited Edition version of Third that I picked up while in Chicago. It has the entire album on vinyl, which is cool, the “Machine Gun” single (which is extra-cool because one side of the vinyl is etched) and it also comes with an odd piece of art by Nick Uff (which is less cool but still awesome). However, all those pieces of coolness pale in comparison to the super-neato cool P-shaped USB stick that includes the entire album and a bunch of exclusive live videos and other goodies. I’m going to try and rip the audio from those videos later this week and put them here if I can.

Sneaker Pimps
Spin Spin Sugar (Armand’s Dark Garage Mix)
Spin Spin Sugar (Farley & Heller’s Fire Island Vocal Mix)
Spin Spin Sugar (Phluide’s Creeping Vine Mix)
Everyone’s favorite also-rans in the world of female-led trip-hop groups! Okay, that’s a little harsh, but seriously can anyone who doesn’t own a Sneaker Pimps album name another song of theirs off the top of their head? These remixes are from a 12” single.

I know I promised some killer shit but that’s all I got for now. I’m super-backed up because of Lollapalooza and the flu. Hopefully I’ll have some better stuff later on this week.

I’m not longer violently…expelling fluids and my head is no longer boiling so let’s do this thing. My computer is acting a little funky right now and I can’t upload any tunes, so if you’re hear just for the music come back later. If not, and you want to know what my angry ass thought of Lollapalooza this year, then read on…

Things were a little different this year for me as I was there as part of “the media.” And let me tell you, being part of the fifth estate totally rocks because I got free tickets AND free water (until they ran out)!

As The Man, my “official” recap/synopsis/review of Lollapalooza isn’t going to be here, it’s at Bullz-eye.com. Read it and marvel in it’s awesomeness.

However, I still want to have a little something something for you all, so here’s a few added thoughts on the bands that I couldn’t fit into my “professional” review of Lollapalooza. Each link goes to the photos I took of the band. If you want to browse all the photos click here.

Holy Fuck
Boring to watch for sure, but their songs are rockin’ and their bass was so heavy that it knocked my pubes off. And what is that weird film thingy? Someone help me out.

The Kills
Killer. Holy shit though that chick looks like a more fucked up version of Patti Smith.

Gogol Bordello
These guys are completely and totally amazing and worth seeing live no matter what the cost. Not only is their music (gypsy-punk/polka/rap) unlike anything you’ve ever heard before, they are the most fun band I’ve ever seen. The lead singer is my hero – if I could grow a mustache I would totally grow his.

Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks
Old people rock. A little boring though.

CSS
Does CSS buy their wardrobe from Bjork’s yard sale? Seriously. It’s like Lovefoxxx (the lead singer’s name) saw Bjork’s swan suit and said, “nah, that’s too subtle for me – ooh, floral patterns!”

Radiohead
Fuck Thom Yorke and his fucked up eye. Next time stop trying to be arty and try to make your fans happy by letting us see you on the fucking monitors. And Lollapalooza people? Turn up the damn speakers. They were the only band playing, you didn’t need to worry about sound bleed!

De Novo Dahl
Where can I get one of those suits? Are they on their official website? Do they come in 2XLT? Also, what is the weird keyboard that chick is playing? Anyone want to help me with that one too?

Does It Offend You, Yeah?
The band with the worst name in the world delivered one of the best sets of the show. I was in the front row from them and I was almost close enough to snag their cowbell. Almost.

Innerpartysystem
Allow me to elaborate on my Bullz-eye comments about this band. They suck. They suck it hardcore. They suck like a porno star in the vacuum of space. Suffice to say, I didn’t like them that much. On a side note, how come almost all the bands on the BMI stage sucked this year? It’s totally the best stage! It’s entirely in the shade and is usually 10-20 degrees cooler than the rest of the festival. And why was Perry’s stupid little DJ tent next to it? The noise bleed (and random Lindsay Lohan) was annoying.

Foals
The strangest thing about this band is that when I txt F-O-A my phone automatically filled in the rest of their name. Nokia must be a fan. I sure as hell am not.

MGMT
I gave them a glowing review at Bullz-eye but I have to admit that they disappointed me a little bit with an incredibly boring opening that really brought the whole place down. They have to kick up the tempo, dance around more or somethings. These dudes obviously do acid, you think they could come up with some good visuals.

Spank Rock
My original synopsis of this act was simply: “They gave Lollapalooza a huge boner.” But I figured I’d have to elaborate. These guys are now my new favorite rappers. I recently got the instrumental version of YoYoYoYo and I’ll be putting it up in a view days.

Toadies
“DooooOOOOOoooo YooooooOOOOoooouuuuuu waaaannnaaa dIIIIIeeee!!” I fucking love this band and in a few days I’ll havce some Toadies-related surprises for this blog. This was the band I waited the longest for (over an hour) and actually the most pumped to see live. I damn near lost my mind during “Possum Kingdom” and actually did lose it during “Mister Love.” I wish they’d leave Texas more often.

Rage Against The Machine
Fuck them and fuck their stupid fucking fans. More on this in a day or so.

The Octopus Project
New Life Goal – Marry a theremin player.

Brazilian Girls
They have to ditch the crazy pirate with a parasol and go instrumental, or just bite the bullet and hire Beth from Portishead, you know they want to. The chick they have now drove me nuts.

The Black Kids
Stupid? Sure. But Pitchfork was high for dissing these kids, I had a blast. And the babes in this group are totally two tons of fun. The white one really needs to work on her wardrobe though – yikes.

Saul Williams
Counting down to the inevitable Saul/Bowie collaboration that will cause my head to explode due to the sheer awesome it will cause.

Nine Inch Nails
Little known fact: When you buy tickets to see NIN you also get free tickets to the gun show! I wonder if Trent Reznor spends more money on protein shakes than he did on heroin.

I have a little more to say about Lollapalooza (mostly about the retard cockstains who call themselves “fans”) but I’ve gabbed on enough for tonight. Sorry again for the lack of tunes tonight (or all last week) I shall make it up to you soon.

Lollapalooza Recap and photos coming soon. I went to Lollapalooza and all I got was a 103 degree fever and a violent stomach virus. So I’m not writing shit right now.