I didn’t update last week because I was in lovely Toledo Ohio with my family gorging myself on turkey and family-induced guilt and hatred. I didn’t update most of this week because I’m a lazy prick. I respect my readers (wow, that shocked even me) so I’m won’t bullshit you. With Christmas break coming very soon I hope the respite from schoolwork will allow me to post some of the crap that’s been backing up next to my computer desk. I’m neck-high in 12” import singles right now and it’s driving me nutty!

Fun Boy Three
Our Lips Are Sealed (Special Remix Version)
Our Lips Are Sealed (Urdu Version)
Yeah so The Go-Go’s released this song in 1981 and MTV picked up the video and everyone went ga-ga for The Go-Go’s for about three years. But did you know that just two years after The Go-Go’s released it a band by the name of Fun Boy Three did as well? It’s not just an example of some band riding the coattails of another to success, Fun Boy Three’s Terry Hall co-wrote the ditty with The Go-Go’s Jane Wiedlin (I believe they were secretly doing it at the time and that inspired the song). This version is a radical departure from the original. It’s much slower and probably is closer to how the couple was actually feeling when they wrote the song. This cool remix and the odd-as-all-fuck Urdu version are from a 12” single.

The Cure
Hot Hot Hot!!! (Extended Remix)
Hey You (Extended Remix)
Never Enough (Big Mix)
Harold And Joe
Let’s Go To Bed (Milk Mix)
Close To Me (Extended Remix)
People still like The Cure right? And by “like The Cure” I don’t mean “like ‘Just Like Heaven’ and ‘Love Song'”. I mean, people still buy new albums buy The Cure don’t they? And they still tour pretty big venues. So I’m asking those people this; is Robert Smith’s hair still look like he stuck his finger inside 20 different outlets at once whilst covered in water? Just kind of wondering.

Real Life
Send Me An Angel (Heaven No. 7 Mix)
Send Me An Angel (Cloud Nine Mix)
If Duran Duran, Flock Of Seagulls and Alphaville had a baby in Australia the result would’ve been Real Life and this song. There are 80 bagillion remixes of this song (that’s not hyperbole okay, I counted the fuckers) and these are two of the best. I grabbed these off of a West German import from 1988 (must’ve come out just before the Cold War cut-off date) and I think the first one is also known as the “89 Mix” but I could be mistaken…I do now I’m not going to try and find that one to listen to as well, one man can only handle so much of this song.

Wang Chung
Dance Hall Days (Extended Remix)
Don’t Let Go (Extended Remix)
Behind a lot of over-produced, super-polished, slickly-made 80s pop tunes are intelligent lyrics or interesting melodies that allow them to rise above their pop music label. The songs of Wang Chung are not included with any of those songs. I still have a soft spot for the band though. I remember thinking “Everybody Wang Chung Tonight” was the greatest song of all-tme when I was eight. While that song’s novelty has kind of waned on me, I still love “Dance Hall Days” and this remix is more of a good thing. I’m kind of impartial to “Don’t Let Go” but it was the B-side so what the heck.

The KLF
Okay, so I got a request for sopme KLF post by someone who has proven in the past that he cannot read my blog properly. He reiterated my suspicions by asking for a KLF post because I’ve posted about The KLF several times already! Luckily for him I’m feeling generous. I also bought two more KLF 12” singles last week, so it all works out. Here’s all the KLF stuff I’ve posted with those two new singles as well something special. I’m separating The KLF stuff by single because it’s just easier that way. These motherfuckers remixed their shit like it was going out of style. Stuff I posted previously is marked as such.

3 A.M. Eternal
Live At The S.S.L. (Extended version different from album cut)
Guns Of Mu Mu (Previously Posted)
Klonk Blip Every Trip (Previously Posted)
Wayward Dub (Previously Posted)

Last Train To Trancentral
The Iron Horse Mix
Live From The Lost Continent
Vari-Speed Version

What Time Is Love?
America: What Time Is Love? (Previously Posted)
Moody Boys vs. The KLF
Live At Trancentral
Techno Gate Mix

Justified & Ancient
All Bound For Mu Mu Land (Previously Posted)
Make Mine A “99” (Previously Posted)
Stand By The Jams- Featuring Miss Tammy Wynette (Previously Posted)
Let Them Eat Ice Cream (Previously Posted)

Bonus Tracks:
The JAMs
The Queen And I
All You Need Is Love
Before The KLF was The KLF they were The Jams (aka The Justified Ancients Of Mu Mu). Their first album was 1987 (What The Fuck Is Going On?) and contained more illegal samples then you can shake a cease-and-desist letter at so it is long out of print. If you manage to find a copy prepare yourself to be severely disappointed. While the samples of questionable legality are fun and work pretty well, the rapping by the two white English blokes does not. These two are the best tracks from that record. “The Queen And I” is based off of a sample of Abba’s “Dancing Queen” (with some “God Save The Queen” thrown in) and All You Need Is Love pulls from Samantha Fox’s “Touch Me” among other things.

This’ll be it for me until after Thanksgiving, to everyone that recognizes it I wish a good Thanksgiving and to everyone else I wish a happy Thursday. Oh, and George I haven’t forgot about you, I’ll send you some stuff next week.

Everyone can stop sending me emails for help in regards to the Radiohead thing. I only needed one response for my article and I got it. So everyone thank George for making sure I don’t fail my reporting class. Everyone who didn’t make the cut I think as well.

On a slightly more angry note, everyone go look at the sidebar to the right. You see where it says “Disclaim This”? Under that is my email address. I don’t spell it out or have a link to it because spambots search out that shit. Anyone who comments that they can’t find my email will be mocked and mocked again once more – except the person that just did because at least he was trying to be helpful, he just needs to brush up on his reading skills I guess.

I might not get to update next week. Thanksgiving is coming up and that means I get to travel back to my wondrous homeland of Toledo, Ohio and get all friendly and shit with my family. That takes a lot out of me. I hope to get some more goodies up here before then though.

David Bowie vs. 808 State
Sound + Vision (808 GiftMix)
Sound + Vision (808 ‘Lectric Blue Remix Instrumental)
Sound + Vision (David Richards Remix 1991)
The whole vs. mix idea is fucking retarded. It’s not like 808 State and David Bowie got in a room with dueling mixing equipment and went at it. That would be totally awesome though, it would be like a breakdance battle with synthesizers. I can totally get behind that. These remixes are off of a weird CD single I picked up at a record convention last month. I don’t know why 808 State (or Bowie) chose this song to remix, there’ s not much to it.

The Smashing Pumpkins
The End Is the Beginning Is the End (Stuck in the Middle with Fluke Vox Mix)
The End Is the Beginning Is the End (Stuck in the Middle with Fluke Alternative Mix)
The End Is the Beginning Is the End (Rabbit in the Moon’s Melancholy & the Infinite Madness Mix)
The End Is the Beginning Is the End (Hallucination’s Gotham Ghetto Beats)
I love this song but I guess it can never be put on any compilation by The Smashing Pumpkins because Warner Bros. totally owns it forever since it was in the soundtrack to that shitty third Batman movie (the one with Val Kilmer). Don’t you just love how corporate pissing contests fuck over fans? And they wonder why illegal downloading is so big. I’m not going to buy the soundtrack to Batman Forever just because I like this song and the U2 one – I’m going to steal them online. I think Batman would have my back in this case.

Faithless
God Is A DJ (Anthony Acid Full Mix)
God Is A DJ (Rollo & Sister Bliss Deep Mix)
God Is A DJ (Serious Danger Mix)
Flashback for everyone. It’s 1998 and I’m a college student desperate for some play. Using cutting-edge internet technology for the time (AOL) I start chatting with some chick. She seems funny, nice and has respectable taste in electronic music, which is the kind of music I’m really into at the time. It just so happened that at that same time I was reviewing a copy of Faithless’ Saturday 8PM (with the bonus remix CD) and I tell her that if we ever hang out sometime she can borrow it. We meet in the cafeteria a few weeks later, she’s a hot red-head punky broad and I’m super-stocked. We have a decent conversation and I let her borrow the CD, at which point I never hear from her again. Sigh. I’m used to getting burned by chicks, but losing that CD in the process was a real kick in the taint. Anyways, these remixes of “God Is A DJ” is off of a 2-LP promo set.

Fischerspooner
Emerge (Junkie XL Version)
Emerge (DFA Version)
Emerge (Naughty’s Chiefrocker Remix)
Emerge (Selway’s Memory Boy Superstarmix)
“You don’t need to emerge from nothing, you don’t need to tear away.” Okay, someone needs to explain to me what the hell that means. Don’t get me wrong, I love this damn song and it’s totally one of my biggest guilty pleasures of all-time, but does it mean anything? Did they just think it sounded like a cool thing to say? Because it’s not. Another question this song makes me ask; is the “hey hey hey” the same “hey hey hey” that’s in Prodigy’s “Firestarter” or is it just an amazing facsimile? These are the questions a music geek asks himself whilst sitting alone in his dark room rocking out to The KLF. I got these remixes off of a 2-LP remix set. When I picked it up at Jerry’s Records he looked it over with a quizzical look on his face before saying, “Well, I’m glad someone knows what the fuck this is.”

So I need some help from my loyal fanbase once again. I’m working on assignment for my journalism class about digital music distribution and I need to talk to some of “the people”. If you bought Radiohead’s latest through their website I would like to talk to you briefly either over IM or email. Basically I need to know what you paid for it, what you thought of them releasing their album like they did and related shit. The story is not going to be printed in the college newspaper (trust me on that) but it will be online at the school’s website. So if anyone wants to help a poor college student with his stupid homework then email me (address is in the sidebar) and help a brother out. I can’t say I’ll hook anyone up with something special if they do agree to be interviewed but you never know how generous I might be.

Radiohead
Everything In It’s Right Place (Oakenfold Remix)
Speaking of Radiohead, here’s a remix of one of their songs by everyone’s favorite pretentious overrated DJ (oops, that’s Tiesto). For some reason an Oakenfold greatest hits and remixes compilation arrived in my mail this week (I love being on random press mailing lists) and it lists this remix as an “Exclusive New Oakenfold 2008 Remix” which is pretty astounding considering that it is still 2007. It’s the best remix on the album, but that’s not saying much. Also included on the comp his remixes of Massive Attack’s “Unfinished Symphony”, The Smashing Pumpkins “Perfect” and “Days Go By” by Dirty Vegas. They all suck compared to the originals and countless other remixes that those songs have. There’s also a remix of Afrika Bambaataa & The Soulsonic Force’s Planet Rock (which in itself is a remix of Kraftwerk’s “Trans-Europe Express) but it’s not properly credited as a remix of the Bambaataa track, instead its given the rather pretensious credit as a track “presented by Paul Oakenfold”. That’s a pretty bold statement considering Oakenfold was only 19 when this track was originally released.

John Cooper Clarke
Evidently Chickentown (Live)
I picked up the soundtrack to the upcoming Ian Curtis biopic Control this week and it’s a great collection for those into the 70s punk/post-punk scene. In addition to the obligatory Joy Division tunes it also includes favorites by Roxy Music, Iggy Pop and David Bowie. Also included are selections from the original score by New Order. I was most happy to find this 32 second rant by”punk-poet” John Cooper Clarke, as I’ve never found it on CD. I actually bought it for this one track, making it the most expense song in my collection.

Buzzcocks
Boredom (Live At The Roxy)
As a nice bonus though the soundtrack also includes this live version of this classic Buzzcocks song. I saw them live a few years back when they opened for Pearl Jam and they still sound this good. Amazing.

Grace Jones
She’s Lost Control (Long Version)
Oddly enough, the soundtrack to the movie Control doesn’t have the the song from which the title of the movie is derived, “She’s Lost Control”. Why? I have no damn clue. However, I am using that glaring omission to put up one of my favorite “what-the-fuck” covers in my collection, which is androgynous disco rocker Grace Jones covering the gothic post-punk classic. She can’t sing it , the rhythm is all off and it’s a fucking mess. I love it. She should totally cover “Dead Souls”. This version of the track is from a 12” single.

No music, quick rant.

I just spent 20 minutes deleting shit spammer comments from most of my posts. It appears I got flooded tonight with them. If anyone out there can help me figure out where these come from I’ll be eternally in your debut and give you any MP3s you want. I’d like to know if there’s a way I can track these dickless fuckers IPs and what not. The more personal information I can get from them, the better. I like to hurt people who annoy me.

Holy crapoly, two posts in two days! I’m suddenly prolific again! A side-effect of said increased productivity is that I have nothing to say right now, so I’ll just get straight to the tunage.

Primal Scream
If They Move Kill ‘Em (My Bloody Valentine Arkestra Mix)
If They Move Kill ‘Em (12” Disco Mix)
Darklands
Badlands
It’s hard to pick a genre when cataloging Primal Scream. I don’t think Alternative indie acid house techno brit-pop rock is a category. I just went with electronic for these tunes, which are off of the 12” for ‘If They Move…”. I picked up this single for two reasons; its awesome cover and the fact that it takes it name from a line in The Wild Bunch. I was bummed that the said line is only mentioned once though. Bummer. Badlands and Darklands are B-sides. Both are remixes of the same song and are some trippy-ass tunes.

The The
The Beat(en) Generation (Campfire Mix)
The Beat(en) Generation (Palmer Mix)
Angel
I’m sick of trying to find out information of The The songs on Google, especially when they have exceptionally generic titles like ‘Angel.’ I believe that track has never seen the light of day on CD, but I could be wrong and I’m not going to scour the net to find out. It, as well as the two remixes with it, come from the 12” for ‘The Beat(en) Generation.”

Living Colour
Funny Vibe (Remix)
Funny Vibe (Funky Vibe Mix)
Funny Vibe (Drummer Vibe)
So I bought Guitar Hero III for the 360 this Monday, and Living Colour’s great ‘Cult Of Personality’ is on it. But before I get to that I must share a funny story about me getting the game.

So it’s 8:30 at night and I’m rushing to get to the local Gamestop before they close. I didn’t reserve the game because I have better things to do with my life then keep a calender of upcoming releases in my bedroom. I get in Gamestop and ask for the game when the snotty little clerk looks up at me and says “Did you reserve it?”

I said no.

“Well, then we don’t have one for you!” she said in a bitchy tone. “That’s why you should reserve one.”

So I roll my eyes and say, “No, that’s why I go to the Exchange across the street and buy one there.”

She gives me a “whatever” look as I walk out, like I don’t have a chance in hell in getting the game there. But I walk into the exchange and grab one in about five seconds, they had about a dozen behind the counter. Walking back to my car the same snotty clerk is cleaning bird-shit off the window (man, retail is such an awesome job) and I give her the same look she gave at me back at her and smirk, “I don’t think you thought your cunning plan all the way through.”

Yeah, I know it’s not her policy, but she seems to be a proud enforcer of it and she also seemed to get off on disappointing my non-reserving ass. so whatever.

Anyways, Living Colour’s ‘Cult Of Personality’ is in the game, but it’s not the same version that was on their album Vivid, they re-recorded it with a brand-new solo that is ball-bustingly evil. I think it gave me a case of carpal tunnel. I finally beat it only to have my ass handed to me with Metallica’s ‘One’. I have to beat this game soon or my hand is gonna fall off.

Enough anti-retail/video game digressions though, these remixes of ‘Funny Vibe’ are from the song’s 12” single and they’re pretty bad-ass. It’s almost more rap than rock, and features some Public Enemy samples for good measure.