System Of A Down – Johnny
Funny for me because my brother is named Johnny, and he has an unusually high voice that Serj from SOAD remarkably emulates here. Funny for the rest of you because it’s just a really messed up song. This is the B-Side to Chop Suey.

John Trubee – Blind Man’s Penis
I…don’t know what this is. I picked up the Enigma Variations a few weeks ago (mostly for the TSOL rariety – which will be in my next post) and I stumbled upon this clusterfuck of a single. I can honestly say I’ve never heard anything like it, of course I’ve never heard anything like a cat being beaten to death by rabid bunnies either. This was only released as a single and isn’t available anywhere…I wonder why.

Soundgarden – Like Suicide (Acoustic Version)
While my friends were rocking out to Pearl Jam and Nirvana, I was headbanging my junior high ass to Soundgarden’s Superunknown. As a reformed metalhead they served as a good gateway band to the ‘alternative’ scene. This acoustic version of the final track off the epic album is from some bizarre five track sampler called Songs From Superunknown.

Skunk Anansie – Rise Up (Bonhamoon Mix)
A lot of bands don’t make it because of bad timing, lousy PR or just crummy luck. I wish that was the case with Skunk Anansie, but they just never really made a solid album. Sure, they had good songs, like ‘Selling Jesus’ and ‘Secretly’, but none of their albums ever felt cohesive or complete, usually losing steam about two-thirds of the way through. Also, the fact that their lead singer was a militant black skinhead bisexual chick didn’t help either. Rise Up was a decent track off of Paranoid And Sunburnt, their first album, but this remixed version off of the Weak As I Am CD single greatly improves it with some killer beats and some strange mandolin guitar thrown in. After SA broke up their lead singer (who goes by the name Skin) released a solo album that was primarly love ballads. Much like SA’s CDs, it was half good and half blah.

So I went to see They Might Be Giants at the lovely Mr. Smalls Theatre which is located right outside of downtown Pittsburgh and I overhear the following conversation behind me:

Pony Tail Nerd: “So, what are we doing after the show?”

Skinny Geek: “I don’t know, I really wanna go to the nearest International House Of Pancakes, but that’s 63 miles to the west of here and I don’t think anyone else is gonna go with me!”

Pony Tail Nerd: “But that’s a really good IHOP!”

Skinny Geek: “I Know!!”

A series of questions ran through my head after hearing that:

• How do you know it’s exactly 63 miles away, did you Mapquest it?
• Is there such a thing as a ‘really good IHOP?
• Don’t you know there’s a Denny’s right down the street?

I ddin’t get a chance to ask any him any of those questions, because immediately after he said that TMBG came on stage. Maybe he knew the girl that Lewis Black overheard at the IHOP who said “If it wasn’t for my horse, I would’ve never have gotten through that year in college,” and he was going to meet her there and they were going to discuss the benefits of equine ownership.

Don’t think about either statement too much, your head will explode and you’ll die. And I don’t want you to die.

I love you.

And I need the hits.

Anways, here’s some songs from Club Epic 5, a compilation from Epic Records that features some good dance remixes.

Cyndi Lauper – She Bop (Remix
A happy-go-lucky dance song about how much masturbation kicks ass sung by a freaky looking redhead with a crazy New York accent.

Dead Or Alive – Brand New Lover (Remix)
A happy-go-lucky dance song about needing to sleep with someone else to drown the pain of a bad relationship sung by the most androgynous man ever.

Romeo Void – A Girl In Trouble (Is a Temporary Thing) (Dance Remix
A…really weird-ass song that doesn’t belong on a dance compilation. Sung by a big chick with an even bigger voice. (I refuse to call Deborah Iyall a ‘fat chick’)

I don’t have much to say about these bands. I dig both X and Gang Of Four but have only recently got into them. As for Skafish, Magazine, 999, The Fleshtones and the rest, I’ll be totally honest and say I haven’t heard or seen them outside of Urgh!

I would like to take this time to thank all of you who have been coming to my blog the past few weeks to get these songs. I hope you all continue to visit the site in the coming weeks and months, because they good stuff ain’t stopping here! I got some great soundtracks and rarities from New Order, Joe Jackson and Agent Orange coming in the next few weeks, and I’ll also be featuring some tracks from another long out of print concert classic, The Decline Of Western Civilization.

Until then, enjoy the fourth (and final) side from the Urgh! LP.
Fleshtones – Shadow Line
Gang Of Four – He’d Send In The Army
John Otway – Cheryl’s Going Home
999 – Homicide
X – Beyond And Back
Magazine – Model Worker
Skafish – Sign Of The Cross

The files should be back up now. Sorry about that. I’m not used to people actually visitng my blog!

Another thing I have to clarify. I don’t claim to be a die-hard audiophile, and I really can’t tell the difference between 128kb and 256kb on vinyl rips. I do, however, know that the 256kb MP3s take up a shitload more space and eat up my transfer rates. If anyone has ideas to increase quality without making the files freaking HUGE let me know

Someone just reminded me that I forgot the Oingo Boingo track from side one. Oops.

Oingo Boingo – Ain’t This The Life

A quick note: I was unhappy with the quality of the first two sides, so I re-recorded them. These new recordings are available to download now.

Alright, it’s time for side 3 of the Urgh! soundtrack, my favorite side of the album, featuring a few of my favorite artists of all-time.

Devo – Uncontrollable Urge
Ah, Devo, the best thing to come ouf of Ohio since…well…probably ever (I should know I’m from the freaking shithole). They made lampshades and jumpsuits cool, created some of the best videos ever and even managed to piss off Gloria “I give left-wingers and feminists a bad name” Steinam, because she thought the video to Whip It was sexist. That’s like, some awesome triple-crown of rocking out in my book.

Echo And The Bunnymen – The Puppet
I’ve already mentioned that Echo And The Bunnymen are probably the best-named band of all time (Number 2: Butthole Surfers, Number 3: Deadboy & The Elephant Men) and they are also one of the best bands of the decade. I sadly did not discover them until seeing Donnie Darko a few years ago, and I don’t know how I made it so long without them. They’re like a less-depressing version of The Cure to me.

The Au Pairs – Come Again
I don’t know much about The Au Pairs, but any left-wing political post-punk band fronted by a liberal feminist lesbian has my vote. This MP3 has some skips in it, but it’s the best I could do, it’s the only one on my album that’s scratched. If anyone has a better copy email me and I’ll replace the link.

The Cramps – Tear It Up
They practically invented ‘Psychobilly’ music and did it better than anyone else ever did (Sorry Rev. Horton Heat fans.) This freaky live cut shows that lead singer Lux Interior moans into a microphone like nobody’s business. His freakish gyrating and aural antics create one of the highlights of Urgh! and it is his incredibly intense face that graces the cover of the VHS release.

Joan Jett & The Blackheats – Bad Reputation
Sure, almost all of her greatest hits were covers…but they were really good covers. I don’t think anyone could do better versions of “Crimson & Clover”, “Do You Wanna Touch Me”, and of course, “I Love Rock ‘N’ Roll” than Joan Jett did. Her newer stuff is surprisingly solid too, with her X-rated hard-rocker “Fetish” from 1999 a career highlight.

Pere Ubu – Birdies
Without Pere they’d be no Frank Black. Okay, well maybe not – but Pere was the FIRST pudgy bald punk-rocker to make an impact on the music scene. I don’t know much about the Cleveland native, but everything I’ve heard I’ve like.

Gary Numan – Down In The Park
Time for me to gush uncontrollably. To say I love Gary Numan is an understatement. He’s probably the most underrated musician of his generation, and anyone who calls him a one-hit-wonder needs a serious kick in the crotch. His first three albums are three of the best electronic albums ever recorded, and without his amazing influence modern rock music would be a very different place. He’s been unfairly viewed as pretentious and selfish, when in actually he has a mild form of autism called Asperger’s Syndrome which severely hurts his social skills.

He did hit a pretty bad career slump that lasted through the second half of the 80s and into the 90s, but his reinvention as a gothic/industrial artist sparked a creative rebirth in his music that continues into his most recent release, the very excellent Jagged. If you’re looking to get into Gary Numan, the 1997 greatest hits comp Premier Hits is a good starting point. I could gush about the genius of Gary Numan all night so I’m just going to stop now. But this isn’t the last time Gary Numan will grace Lost Turntable…not by a long shot.