Okay, first a rant, then the tunes:

In regards to Pitchfork Media’s review of Jet’s latest album…

Wow guys, what an awesome burn! Way to find a video that everyone else saw in 1997 and use that as a form of insightful and informative criticism!

You hipster kids sure are cool! When the idea for this little gem of a review was thought up did you guys nearly jump out of your purposely worn-down canvas shoes and ironic t-shirts to give half-mocking/half-serious high-fives to each other? Did you guys actually know it was a dumb idea and were just doing it in an ironic way? If you did, wow, you guys sure are trendsetters. It’s a great idea, I hope you guys keep it up, maybe you could dig up some old clip of a skater hurting his balls and use that as a review for The Killers’ new album? Maybe you could find a way to work in that clip of the dancing baby too, I’m sure a lot of people still haven’t seen that one!

I don’t give a fuck if you hated the album, shit I didn’t like it either – but if you’re going to hate something that much, you should, oh I don’t know, do your fucking job and tell us why! I’ve been reviewing albums off-and-on for nearly 10 years now and I’ve been tempted to do the one-word review for a pile of shit, or just post some random picture instead of having to spew out 500 words on some amazingly awful piece of emo garbage, but I didn’t. Instead I found a way to express my emotions via the written word. You know why?

Because I’m a fucking writer!

Ah…that felt good. Now, onto happy happy music time. I’m not going to be able to post for about a week so I got a lot of stuff tonight.

Tears For Fears
Shout (US Remix)
Shout (UK Remix)
One of my first memories of elementary school was seeing three kids running around the playground singing, “Fart, fart, let it all out!” over and over again. Man, when you’re six that’s some funny shit. Anways, here are two really extended mixes of the seminal Tears For Fears hit. As per usual – the UK version is better, but both are pretty bitchin’ overall.

Depeche Mode
Get The Balance Right! (Combination Mix)
Tora! Tora! Tora! (Live)
These are off of a 12-inch single I picked up at a record convention last weekend. It’s strange, I’ve never been a huge fan of Depeche Mode’s albums but I’ve almost always dug their singles. This extended remix of Get The Balance Right! is excellent, and the live take of Tora! Tora! Tora! is good as well.

David Bowie
Jump They Say (Hard Hands Mix)
Jump They Say (Leftfield 12” Vocal)
The original version of ‘Jump They Say’ was on Bowie’s 1993 release Black Tie White Noise, a great album that was more or less ignored in America when it came out. Bowie had no one to blame for this except himself at the time though, because it was the follow-up to the horrifically bad Never Let Me Down (a record that was so bad he apologized for it) and the amazingly uninteresting Tin Machine records. After its release Bowie went all industrial with 1. Outside and because of this it’s usually overlooked by most casual Bowie fans. It shouldn’t be though, because its really good, and was even labeled as Bowie’s “comeback” album in the U.K. ‘Jump They Say’ was written as a response to his brother’s suicide (he was mentally ill and jumped off a building) – so its dance beat hides some pretty brutal lyics and imagrey. These two remixes came off the a 12” single. There are about 80 different remixes of this song (it was a pretty big hit in Europe) and if you like these you might want to try and track some of them down too.

Time Zone
World Destruction
World Destruction (Alternate Mix)
Time Zone was a side-project/pseudonym of Afrika Bambaataa in the 80s. The last song he made under that name was this one, which features John Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten) on vocals. Very similar to what Lydon was doing at the time with PiL, it’s a great piece of late-80s dance music and definitely deserves to be mentioned with other hits by the Zulu Nation like ‘Planet Rock’ and ‘Renegades Of Funk.’ These two mixes are pretty similar (the second one adds some random news clips to the mix) but I figured posting both wouldn’t hurt.

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